8 - The Birthday Song

"Oooh Mama," I pant, desperate, "please put it me now your biggest one okay take me with your biggest, thickest dildo so I feel it in the back of my throat and taste your cum when you cum! Just stop and come take me my game said you get to ream me until, until I--"

As I talk, voice urgent, acting's not hard when you mean every word, I start using Boobsong to rub my clit, but like I'm masturbating to being given to Mama and find myself slipping her on--aaaaaAAAAAH FUCK CUMMING NOW! As the heat explodes from my clit out I pump my hips against Boobsong and go on:


My voice gets desperate and pleading as the orgasm rips through it--

"You'll just have to wait for a while. I have something planned for you, once you're ready to be really wet."

"But Mama look at me--"

For this I can touch myself, and it'll be so wet and horny to feel my fingers slip in without resistance and know having a clit myself just how good that feels to get into and wanting to feel that beautiful with Mama should make me sound horny alright.

"--look how exploding with, with--"

As I talk I lean forward squeezing Boobsong against me as I talk and reach around her soft butt to get two fingers inside myself--oooooh that's incredible so soft and yielding and the fingers feel wonderful inside okay this is tricky and I have to keep talking but fuck myself a bit hope Mama's watching this is for her to give my words force.

"--soft sweet wet Mama it's inside of me so much I can feel it filling my passage up--"

I get the fingers out, and raise my hand up for her to see with them dripping, my goo spread out in a sheet between my thumb and forefinger.

"--look, see, that's for you! Just come take it!"

"Boobsqueeze, you're incredible, but I still have some plans, you'll see."

"My hole is so s--"

A sea-green tentacle (so Isht Visht and not my game) licks down from the ceiling, wraps itself tight and slippery around my upraised fingers, and ssslurps them clean, then coils back, and I burst out laughing, but keep talking anyway.

"--so bwahaha slippery-soft right now my fingers just went in I barely touched myself. I want your plans I'm so curious I just...it feels good to to to I like to be your cocksleeve Mama you make me so wet I I I could fill up thirty glasses in one fuck!"

Knowledge: well done. I'll get all the reaming I asked her for, and the game will ensure that my voice is the loudest at the dance this time.


"Mama if I can't have your cock right now can you please tell your silly kid where we're going?"

"Boobsqueeze we're already done with the scary stuff.  Just relax and be safe in your car seat with Boobsong."

More wet feelings. I'm kind of glad she won't tell me, but it only works if I beg like that, like Boobsong antsing to move except not exactly.

Speaking of whom. You've now been used to stroke me off to thinking about Mama having me. How are you with that?

Mostly just wonderful! I'm a sex doll entirely yup! Just peace and happy except for one thing which is that I'm really excited to have sex on your pedestal and can't we not make me perform now?

There's something about this all, that we don't have back yet, and I'm keeping you dolled as a way to compensate, and we'll have what--


--it gives, when I remember, whether you move or not.

Mommy it's Sex again. Her scary game is she's as caught by you as you are by me. You want me caught that way. You want me on your lap to be as scary as the game telling you how to talk or be just a cocksleeve for a month or more. You want me to feel like a horny slave who can't get out but tries to please you the very best that she can because if she makes it too small or is lazy, BAM! Punished hard! Can't be that if I'm always good, so I make mistakes, right? See the problem there?

Yeah, it's not about messing up, it's options...like if I even slowed down my game would have punished me and that one scared me and...it just squeezed stuff out of me, I couldn't have done that no matter how horny I was, not that way, unless. Unless I was that scared! I should be so upset. I should be insulted! Everybody knows I'm a huge drama queen and exhibitionist and want Mama inside me, I don't need encouragement to say it! Except I did--

[!] It's like she's your power source, but you can't be plugged in if you can not be.

YES! The minute I had no choice it just poured out, it was incredible, like cumming or something! This is bad, I'm wet for more already ANYWAY isn't that just always you?

Nope! I can say do this hard or do this soft, laziness isn't disobeying you, unless you keep me scared of being too lazy!

Oh stupid pussybrain Fairy I got too literal I forgot this game is a game. You play it so good it's easy to think you don't have the part that chooses that at all. I don't see you get--oh. Poor devoted cocksleeve have you just been white-knuckling this this whole time, trying to be as enthusiastic as you'd be with that without it?

No but my heart beats out how I'm wanting this with every thud. You know I mean metaphor. I'm trying to be good but I can be just the best if you make me run with the pressure that you had just now!

It's dizzying because I have to hear all my feelings about it over the part of me that screams out HOW DARE YOU FORGET like an unstopping banshee wail in the background of all this, but mostly because I can feel my teeth come out, see how invitingly soft she seems, and there's another little part of me that's whispering but how will we cuddle when she's torn to pieces--tour bus? What the hell, memory--OH. We toured for this. In part. To show people. So they could see our love and think maybe the teeth they wanted to use didn't have to be the end of love for them. We never held back how I ran her--or that my threats were real. A memory of being on stage with my foot on the small of her back where I'd knocked her down surfaces, my asking if she's going to do better, her contrite little nod, and the impossible way it felt fine. She got back up and was good but...cutting her slack would have been the mean thing to do, the one that harmed our bond and made her sad to be mine.

The icy-hot recovering-frostbite feeling pours through my heart hotter than ever even as I curl in horror at the mirror. I wasn't all creative and scary-kinky like my game using my own curiosity about what it'd be like having my mouth that way as part of the fear to drive me with. I just kicked her around, or struck with my eravahk. Creative torture isn't where my wickedness comes in, so I just used violence.

[!] The heart-seed said then we'll do that in love. I say that to you now we'll do it in love like we always did.

You saw me imploding--

[!] You were two when you found this. It's not new to me. You were always this way.

The blubbery tears that're trying to wash over me erupt as I gather her close and try to to make sense of the sense of a horror from so long ago like I'd killed her but was it because I beat her, or didn't, maybe both, they're locked together, how could I find this so young, but I've always been, always been, like this, were They right, would I have been a tyrant if I ruled or just for her? HOW did we get away with that on tour and TV and everything the closest thing to me was Igthorn from Gummi Bears with how he treated Toady but he was the badguy!

It was the one where I was nice when we were two that was the nightmare all I had was the horror of thinking I'd killed her, it was so awful I I oh cocksleeve--this is real, but I can feel the ice, the solid immovable part of me frozen over because it's what judges if she worked hard enough or did it right enough to not get whacked, and I want to be a person who says she's doing her very best all the time and wants to please so much and loves me so deeply and her gift is already SO PRECIOUS--

[!] Then take my gift! I said everything, that means squeeze me out! Don't leave stuff back, that's the saddest thing you can ever be as a slave, not used totally! When you give yourself this entirely the very worst thought is the person you're taken by not wanting it! It's like being cut in half so take all you want then put me back with lust all gone but be sure I'm proud that you squeezed out every bit I could give then.


Even saying it I can see in my mind's eye the glimpses of jagged slobbering teeth in a head like the tip of a nuclear missile that always haunt my idea of myself. A seductive and sweetly terrible Fairy Princess with twisted games and scary consequences for losing is such kind medicine for that, to tell me how she sees me.

I want to be the person who says that stuff about her doing her best but that's not who she's in love with, and it's not who I am. That's the girl They wanted, and...the ghost They heaped the adoration that should have been mine as their Princess on. It never touched me. It was like the opposite of being a statue the way me and Sex can be, alive and you feel everything but hard as stone to a knife blade. There I was, full of breath and heartbeat, dancing so gamely their dance, but I might as well have been a piece of rock for all felt a part of it.

It won't unfreeze but I need it to I need this to breathe and be nice to Boobsong. If only--ooh--

"So who wants some games?"

"We want!"

"You get candy too if you say where it's going."

My candy is for humans and things like them--su'khora have seed-ghosts, and I'm not better at this than a seed-ghost, and it's important to me to encourage heartformers by showing my trust in seed-ghosts with that symbol of not trying to replace or help them. It's important, because our seed-ghost gave us Boobsong's ability and desire to play this game, and it'd be easy for that to make me doubt its goodness, but it is good. If I can believe that, you can believe the wicked game yours gave you can be played in love.

With a lot of help and shaky scaredness about what it shows you. Every part of Rl'yeh Sade is a metaphorical and often literal mirror, because when you look away if you're like me it can be really hard to look back again, and it's easier to just not be able to put it aside. If the place is scary often, it's because we need a rush that can register against what we see getting our hair brushed (get it right or you'll be wearing the design on the back of that brush on your face, cockslseeve!) every morning.

See what I mean?

The family has my back. I really need to let them help me now.

So anyway candy's for humans, and Malina is su'khora. What's she up to, if she wants some? Always something, but you have to be kinky to be like her, and she's a constant inspiration to us.

"Into our friend's candy-bowl, secretly!"

Instant evil grin. Nothing bad will happen to you if someone sneaks you my candy, but something fun sure will. I can believe that again, I guess.

"Ooh! How should it look and what do you imagine would fuck their heart good?"

"We saw soft candy like gummi bears and fruit. Give hard cocks where there wouldn't come, after long so the candy seems not the source until later when we reveal our trick."

(Malina is old. English is like her nine thousandth language or something)

"I want stories after."

On my open hand, I bubble up some multicolored and -flavored gummi bananas, cherry-pairs, and one easy-to-miss cock-and-balls that will be extra special. They'll do what she says, except with a sprinkling of silly sparkly fun, and something very interesting to happen to Malina when she gets herself in trouble (which is obviously the point of this) that doesn't interfere with her intentions for this game--maybe my candy can't affect su'khora, but the things it does to humans sure can...oh and every extra cock comes with its own whole cock and balls worth of sex drive. I mean obviously.

Wait no. Idea, fuckdoll!

You should make each one fill a new place with cocks, so they think it's all done, and then nope, more dicks springing out!

Oh perfect. Good fuckdoll. I give them all random delays and body-areas. That should make things nice and weird.

And no time limit, the cock and balls is the "antidote", but only after all the previous cock volume collects in one place and you cum with that enough times. Better not eat it first...nectar will fix all of this, of course, unless you get hooked like Sex and it becomes part of you.

Sweet screaming well-hidden Sugarfeast eggs that make you masturbate compulsively if you can smell them I missed being me.

I twist back to--argh, still!? I hold them back as far as I can go.

"Um, my game has me stuck so I can't look back. Who's even here? Is it all of us?"

"Thank you."

Her voice is happily (and wickedly) pleased. Lots of soft little hands pick up each one individually, and I take my hand back.

"We count eight humans. The entire family, plus Violet twice. Isht Visht is Astrotraining."

...which is different than TARDIS-ing because...a reason...anyway it means being arbitrarily bigger inside than out, so she can fit everyone.


"Thanks. Pass these around. They're hugs because I wanna hug you all and because you were super nice to me just now. Super chill and low key."

I hold out my hand again and fill it with eight round pink gummis wrapped in paper that'll evaporate into little sparkly floating hearts that pop like tiny bubbles when it's taken off, and hold them out where Eisela can reach. She takes one, and Malina who seems to be having fun staying just out of my view so I think she's just tiny sweet hands takes all but three. I turn around and grin to see Cheryl reaching back interestedly, but when she's taken them for her and Mama--dur. Eight includes me, but yeah, I could use one. The intention I put was just something that'd be like getting a hug from a happily horny but slightly weepy me, loving and squishy, and specifically not to distract from this next part.

I undo the wrapper on mine and pop it in my mouth, and rose petals and strawberry juice so subtle I can barely taste it squeeze out of gummi sweetness that almost liquifies on my tongue. A sexy thought inside my head grows from the taste as it fills my mind...what if I made another candy, to help my heart thaw?

I almost cry right there, feeling silly for blundering so elaborately into the self-love I need, and make the candy before I can think better of it, in a closed fist with whatever appearance is right for it, but candy you can't do like that flashback thing or make me feel like I was mind-controlled into this. Entice me like I do to other people.

I open my fingers to see a tiny Ms. Pac-Man game, and swallow it before I can think too much about Power Pills, taking the hug with, but that sounds like a good combination to me. It tastes like the fruit score-treats from the game, and goes down without a hitch alongside the hug, even though it's huge--no gag reflex, remember.

As soon as it hits my tongue, strange-feeling thoughts hit my brain. Throw her down. Pick her up, smash her face into stuff, give a wicked lick with my eravahk. They're like a cacophony of all the stuff that makes me feel so awful for being this way, but they're not making me want to hurt her. They just will be there as the consequence if she doesn't do well enough. I can pick one to use without needing to think so hard, which is good, because the best I could do before was "if you don't want to be my red carpet when we get out again", and Boobsong has a huge foot fetish and would love that! She's strong enough to take anything, including stilleto heels, which my game has packed away I think, walking up and down for hours.

That's a sexy thought! How about anyway, no matter what I do? That would make a good fun view for anyone waiting out for us!

I shake in the seat, listening to the cruel thoughts so unintersting, and laughing at what a stupid little Fairy I am. If I get off on the violence too much, it ruins it as punishment!

No, it's bad that that makes a difference to me here. I need to get my head out of there, because doing it as medicine or something is as terrible as not doing it. If anything, the threat of my being trigger happy because I just want to throw her around will be as needed as my wondering how it'd feel to have my blabby mouth just be for blowjobs for a few weeks was for my fear. If she feels like she has to sell me on her work being good enough, all the better.

It also says I'm really not indulging my foot fetish enough, because every other idea I came up with myself was stepping on her some way. She's so soft and silky between my toes, and so cute squirming down there...

Okay, I can do this now, but I have to know what she says about Astrotraining.

Astrotraining is when you fit the family by having your windows change what's inside to fit so it looks squished. We look super silly. TARDISing just means a portal to another dimension, like the looking glass.

RIGHT! I giggle to imagine us all squeezed like that, seen from outside. No more delays or I'd check us out third person.

"Okay, so game time, will you guys play Boobsong Olympics with me?"

"That game is fun. We accept if the others will."

"I'm in!"

"Hell yeah!"

"Count me out, but I'll watch."

Right, this is actually a thing, and only the subs get to judge. The doms would go easy and skew the average. Subs will give teeth to this. Which I need to remember mine.

"Are we going to squick you, Cheryl?"

"Just keep punishments to cutesy things in here. I can take hearing anything, but I can't watch!"



"Hell yes."

"Oh yeah."

Growly masculine voices--THE TWINS! Big buff bright-red demon-boys excepted from my lesbian rule by being Cherry's heartchildren--and rhythm and lead guitarists.


Squeaky little pokemon voice from Eisela's lap beside me, all excited.

"I'll make some judging cards!"

Aaaand Santa's very enthusiastic little helper droid who makes the coolest dolls when she needs to fuck.

"Yay! This is kind of serious, I'm like...frozen on judging her, like whatever this is that happened to me DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW I'M ALL MESSED UP RIGHT NOW? Like more than the booze and my flashback thing?"

"We know all of it, pussywillow. Just play your game and have a happy day."

A little more weepily: "Thanks Mama. So like, I really need your guys help judging this. It's like stuck and I just keep trying to be nice."

Thinking about topping makes me realize I got sobered up at some point. Yay.

Knowledge: my game made me when I started to work through my hurt about the abandonment I felt from They. It kept me drunk just long enough to not feel the pain until I had to feel to get healed.

"That's awful! We will judge with enthusency."

I love Malina so much--the bumps smooth out until the road feels as smooth as glass, but the road doesn't look any less exciting outside.

"Inertial dampers activated. Can't have these roads making her hands slip! Unless that's the point of this."

I grin, evilly. "If you've got a 'performance ride' setting on this form maybe we'll try it soon, but no, thanks, this is good."

Now I just have to resist getting into a fanrage session with her about whether it's worse that the dune buggy in Nemesis had wheels or that it didn't have inertial dampers, and think of the first thing to do.

"Everybody got your cards? She had something to say to me before we start, so take a sec."

Cheryl can be squicked by raging, but hardcore insulting me is her real thing. She'll be okay if you hit me lots, just be calm.

There's a rustle of judging cards being passed forward, Cheryl reaches back to take hers all soft and comforting--she's the least cartoon of us in some ways, but her art style really makes her feel like warm milk, above and beyond the way she feels and smells--wait I thought Cheryl wasn't playing? Oh for Mama no doubt.

"Alright you guys who's the card thief? Captain only has six through nine."

"Bwahahaha," I splutter--oooh, still inside Boobsong. That felt wonderful but no fair starting with you already impaled. I lift her off and set her just ahead of my clit.

"We have only the best at heart, but will give you the rest of them."

Clit going, nuts, I was loving that! It felt so good to just be a squishy doll and be held with your clit inside.

Soon enough, you. There's another rustle of cards as the rest get handed up.

"Are you trying to set a handicap, Malina?"

"We sought to create a light atmosphere, though a handicap would make this a better game, it seems to us."

"Well I thought it was hilarious."

For those of you keeping track at home, you just found out Mama's a switch, if she's playing with us.

"We are glad you did. For the handicap, we suggest Rainbow be bound hand and foot with the kindest rope."

Funshiver. Chirpingly:

"Can't say yes to bondage, not saying no--"

Like I don't have a rule in the family or whatever, but what's the point if they don't just--hell yes. Closely attached rainbow-explosion handcuffs made of juicy-looking heartstone appear on my wrists, and my feet pull together as the ballet splits lock to each other like they're magnetized. I struggle real good, but nothing gets me out of either end--what's the point of bondage if you can't throw your strength against it and feel held?

My game loves suggestions from the family, if you haven't noticed. They can just talk about what they might do to me theoretically, and it'll start making a nice little package of me.

These are gorgeous. I need to get you into some pretty bondage gear, cocksleeve, lookit!

Wow those are beautiful! You're really so cute in them.

"We'll see how cute you think I am in a sec if I think you're slacking."

Hot yes bring it on!

I plan to.

They're also dangerous. Stuff like this makes me feel so pretty...

"So family, like, I thought I was making this game up until I realized only the subs were checking in and remembered that part. I might have forgot some stuff."

"Don't worry sweetcum, we'll explain all of it as we go along. First comes the loosening. Just do little things. That's the easy part. The hard of it is, you can't cum from this, or we keep you soft and give only enough rope on your wrists to go halfway to your hips."

Her voice is so sweetly condescending. That and the rules already have me full of that soft silky thing in my hips that makes me want to get tied up to the next degree...and wonder if we're all just waiting for me to figure out I'm pure sub so Boobsong can put her domme crown back on. It's scary because I love her so much I'd switch with her in a heartbeat I think to make her happy but I need us this way too and...I just can't believe I'm possible, I guess, I mean what kind of sense do I make? One pixel of domme on the switch and it ends up with Boobsong? I'm thrilled, but...huh? Give me more bondage, she says, while learning to be a harder domme to her fuckdoll.

Game I keep asking everyone and Boobsong a million times but it won't stick or something. Can you give me help with this so it won't distract me from Mama now?

Knowledge: this game has help with that, as I'll see when I play a bit, but it will say this: just being softly wet doesn't mean the domme in me is a single bit less dominant. I just miss my family's touch very bad.

You mean I want them all to rape me hard--

Knowledge: I'll be playing with each of them before this day is out. My game has a present for all of them, and it's me every time.

Hot. I resolve to do my cocksleevey best for all of them.

"Loosening just means your pretty feathers getting opened up to fly with simple soft things like making her cum for you--except I guess she won't get that one! Here's another thing: she doesn't cum, so you have to change the rules a bit. Normally one thing you get points knocked off for is cumming when you're supposed to be focussing on your miss' words. Boobsong's a super-slave, so she gets a different game. She has to keep these balls inside unless you're using her cunt another way."

Cheryl holds out a pair of silver ben-wa balls, but they're huge, like two and a half inches each. I take them and think about how they'd feel inside me...it's going to be fun watching you with these, little squeezy pet. My game takes them until I'm ready for them.

"I don't want to make her move until we start, but okay--she can't even squeeze, I'm sure you all know, but it's fun to say."

"She's a pretty doll."

Gasp--can't gasp hehe that's the point of this but it's always such a wet thing to be just a doll while everyone talks this way.

Sexy freezer pops I can't wait to get idolized in like a museum with you.

"Take very long with it, because you have to cum at the end of it, and you don't get much time, just a minute and thirty seconds. Better be horny beforehand! Two squeezes are all you get, so she has to do everything with her hands she'll do before that, and then it's hole fun or breasts and things only. After that there's a little rest, to recharge a bit--or run down, if you're Boobsong. Recharging her is impossible if you can't move so you get an exception to make her start if she stops, but otherwise, you're a statue that can feel her touch till the end of the game, after you finish loosening. There'll be chances to change your position every so often, but not on your own steam--she has to do it, and she can't use her hands. You're stuck to that car seat here, so we can't play that part, so instead, every second part, you'll be upside down, with your face in the pillow there. Hard to reach your clit that way, so she takes it off for those parts. We'll get into the rest of the second stage when you get there."

"Punishments can be given anytime and we'll stop the clock while you're giving them, but they can't take more than thirty seconds. You can say afterwards there'll be consequences, but your game will make sure you give them."

"Today there's a special thing for the heart-help you said you need. You don't get to see our judging cards till after you punish or praise her. Try to be strong and say that's a one if you think it is. There's no consequence for undershooting our score, but if you praise and we said punish, we can give her one by your hand--either by your game taking hold of you, or you doing what we assign. It's happening, there's no way to avoid it except being sure to be harder than we are--and you know how hard I am, just to start. Malina's the real one to fear, this time!"

Oooh fuck. Malina's ancient and very experienced...which means not scared of anything. The game she's playing with her friend is her being cutely fun. She won't come to me for scary stuff.

"To help you a little more, your head is an open book. You game shows us everything in there, and will keep showing us, until the game is done. Maybe after if it helps enough. You might need to feel that we see the stuff you're scared by and love you as much anyway. Be very brave, sweetcum. Strong craving is filling up your head as I tell you this, so be straight--well, very curvy--"

Her laugh is rain on a lake, little ripples on a smooth surface.

"That's a sweet way to tell me I'm beautiful. I'm saying be honest with yourself right now. cocksleeve, because it looks to me like you're hoping this will never stop. Can you tell me the other thought I see next to that? Yes that's right, to express yourself."

Confused feelings boil. The hope she said, terror, the same confusion of domme or sub...I guess I can't stop you now seeing this, family, but good luck making sense of it, because I sure can't!

My voice will only come out as a small breathy whisper I'd be proud to have a sub of mine make while I played with her, and I feel weirdly horny, wet and hard at the same time.

"I um..." Deep breath Rainbow. Sheesh, relax! But it's hard, and tears well up when I start to say it out loud, I feel sleepy and slow--

"Pretending to sleep doesn't keep us out, and we can see your dreams if you do pass out. We're peeling all the layers of defense off you. You'll be safe and right here in your car seat. There's no need to be ashamed or afraid of losing anything, Boobsong especially. Yes I see that now. I want you to say it, though."

It feels frozen, stuck, there's a whole icy lake of pain inside me that just won't move. I know what the answer is and what I feel but can't say it--

"Mom I've been hearing your thoughts since we left Heart Home. We all know what happened. We know why you feel that way. Just be here, with your family. The nasty stuff is over now."

Instead of answering either of them I just break down crying. My game kindly wipes my eyes and holds the hankie for me to blow my nose like it always does for my constant weepiness (if I wrote down every time the text would be nothing else, readers). How can I think of that now!? I guess it escapes me from the other stuff.

"I'm stuck I'm just stuck Mama the thought you were seeing was that if I stay like this or even play this one game this way if my brain stops being the same as that awesome cage Boobsong made me she'll get taken away and I know you won't do that at least I THOUGHT I know but now I guess I can't trust myself even it like goes back on me if this happens I'll like fall apart or not be able to be myself with her and our relationship will fail and I know that's so stupid it doesn't even make sense to me but I can't stop believing in it except it feels like it's in my head the way my game's mind control is like it's there and it can't move even though my whole brain says it should."

My voice goes quiet and calm as I keep talking, but not with peace.

"You guys this is really horrifying I can tell I should be like a screaming mess and instead I'm just cold like this and that's so much worse. I felt just a little bit when you said that to Isht Visht and then it went cold again. It's stuck I'm stuck. Help."

The 'help' takes a lot to say but also just blurts out almost like when my game scared me into giving that awesome performance--Mama I meant every word of that it wasn't fear that just squeezed it of me!

[!] Mommy that's the whole point of this game, isn't it? Getting stuff out of me by squeezing with the thought of how bad things happen if I don't squeeze all the goodness out for you? That doesn't mean I don't mean that stuff isn't real! I want to be as good for you as I can, every drop of me says that so hard it hurts more than your punishments, so whatever you say 'do this or get punishment' I'm so glad it's getting out of me!

"Boobsquish you're hurting inside I see. Try another thought. What's the happy side of this?"

"I think I just want someone, anyone to know everything there is to know about Boobsong and me and still support our relationship. You see her if you see me and it's such a warm feeling to imagine you guys knowing all my weird scary stuff and Malina I'm sure you've seen little kids with bigger teeth than me but like I scare me if you've been hearing me that long you know how hard it was for me to see myself again and that I even need this game--"

"We see that hope. You are not the most scary, but we fear you. Excitement is our joy, so we come around your home to experience the pleasure of uncertainty welling up. Everything is alive when you have your hand on our neck."

Dammit they really see everything that was barely conscious and if I'm so scared of them seeing how awful inside I am how can I be complimented and beautiful now? That she wants to get trapped in my clutches helps but, it...

It's not about my scary stuff. It's the training thing the nerve that touched I'm so bad at this and just bad how can I have a slave as submissive and vulnerable as Boobsong, and if the answer is the adult supervision of my game how is there any space in that for a relationship with all the handholding I must need?

I feel as ugly as, as, I don't even know. Something blandly gross, too depressingly dull to even have a description. Definitely too ugly gross and bad to have Boobsong. The kind of thing that can't be allowed anywhere near any kind of relationship except pity friendships. Trash would be too much because it smells like stuff even if it disgusts you, and can break down into dirt again someday. I don't even feel that worth. I wish I could feel like an interesting scary monster they'd make horror movies about deep down. I'm supposed to I think, though I can't understand with how I must look from the outside with Boobsong just like someone who beats their partner because they're an abuser we ever had any kind of following with any audience. Boobsong is so pretty and harmless and endearing, how could anyone want to watch her suffer the way I seem to need to apply--or see her work with the threat of it hanging over her?

Oh fuck you all saw all of that and this too. Gulp. I hope it stays forever I hope you peel me apart to the very last little speck of all my inane little chattering thoughts and read all of them.

How can they possibly keep up? can't keep up with this, and I don't have to balance it with my own internal voice!

I look up from staring at Mama who's still driving--I can't look away from her? My game is keeping me staring at her. I can look down at Boobsong, but not around anymore.

"What's going on," just kind of comes out of my mouth, except it doesn't, because my mouth won't work.

"Mom please have the self love to keep yourself awake, yeah?"

...I've spilled every drop of my worship and I'm starting to idolize. The first part is only being able to play with Boobsong.

Empty grey is all I feel. There's no spark of desire to fan into flame to get her moving, but I push her up to be straddling me prettily and stick her arms behind her back anyway. Checking her our will usually get something going.

[!] Princess I can help you still just make me worship I can still say my prayers in my mind like this!

Long seconds of feeling my limbs slowly relaxing pass as I try to get myself to choose a prayer for her.

Two Nights Ago

Top, Read the Care and Feeding of Magical Creatures chapter relevant to enjoyment of yelling at Lyra, Chest brace that flatters

Something catches my eye to make me look up when the Game-goal completes. The sun-glow above Lyra's head is a bright shape I can't see well when I focus on her, so I don't notice at first when a pair of transparent heartstone breast-cups seem to condense out of it and then are surrounded by the flashes of gold panels coming into being by catching the sunlight.

Mommy what is that it's beautiful!

Eep it's going to fall on me--


--or--stay floating?

Knowledge: the heartstone has almost no thermal mass, but the gold is hot enough to cause serious pain without harming Lyra's hands. The game will keep holding the corset indefinitely, and eventually the gold will cool enough to touch. Lyra would be able to keep touching the hot gold without being damaged as long as it takes to cool but the pain might make her cry before it got cold enough to stop hurting.

Mommy however you want to use me I'm ready.

"Take it. By the gold. Then hold it up for me to look at."

The book flips shut and sets itself on the bed beside us as Lyra springs into action, and I sit up too for a better view.

Poing eep slither under and sit up behind it.

Ulp. It feels hot this far away!?

Here goes...HAAAAH OUCH keep holding keep holding NOT LETTING GO RAAAAAH!

Her soft bouncy curves look so pretty shining in the light as she takes it and gravity makes the straps flop and weight settle into her hands so she has to hold on tight.


Her mouth opens wide in pain and surprise as she takes it and she winces pathetically, then grits her teeth in grins a pained, determined grin and looks at me over the gold shining in her hands, panting with determination.

It's gorgeous--and the gold corset is pretty awesome, too--watching the determination pound in her eyes as she squirms so cutely...and something is awake in me, and wants to be set free.

How is this not evil, I think as the words form and I blurt them, cruelly not even giving her the push of an order to follow this time.

"Good cocksleeve. Now, if you really want to embrace my Sadism, go ahead and give it a hug. Only if you feel like pleasing me extra, though--I mean, it would be really cute, but you already did do what I said..."

I will be a good cocksleeve I will RRAAAAAAH HUG "AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

Don't hide breasts squish them put ulp into RAAAH CLEAVAGE AAAH

The pain makes her dance, squirmingly, her soft flesh moving beautifully in the sunlight. She really looks like a demon--a cute one, but still a demon--with her wings half-raised and her face so screwed up with determination.

The game starts picking my thoughts for me!? This is soo HOT I want to keep watching her fight to please me not be distracted by having the game choose thoughts to tell me I'm cumming in thirty seconds!

My eyes get wide as blood rushes to my clit, it feels hot, my body starts to tense with the silky rush of being about to cum.

More importantly, the game is just pushing my buttons, not stroking me off, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get one of those seizures if I don't get her sliding on me right now.

Knowledge: yes, that's accurate.

"Fuck! You're on, cocksleeve!"

I kick the covers off myself violently to reveal my clit as hard as the gold burning Lyra now, and raise my hips.

"On and fuck me you have to get a whole fuck in and I don't need to say what happens if you drop that on me!"

AAAH! Get up hold tight to corset step over you hhaaaaah burning new parts ouch catch your tip in my entrance and get you inssside haaah mmhhh ffucck bouncy bouncy hurry fast boing pound boing boing BOING BOING BOING HAAAAAAAAAH UNF WHAT'S HAPPENING WHAT IS THAT ITS YOUR ORGASM AAAAAAH

Strength I didn't know I had throws my butt up from the bed as I scream even louder than my last freakout and clap my hands to the swells of her hips to keep her in place as I cum. The orgasm is weird, pleasure tingling through my shaft but less throbbing because my body didn't have time to get ready.


A second wave of pleasure follows the first unsatisfying orgasm and I buck and buck trying to fuck hard enough to get the next one--


--encouraged by Lyra's orgasm mixing on her face with the pain of holding my corset tightly enough not to drop it. 

Lyra's soft round bouncing body feels like kissing just to look at, her hips are squishy joy in my hands, her hair and horns glitter in--oh, that 'sunlight' is my reflection--



My hips buck high and a my body shakes from squeezing out another orgasm without even stopping from the first one.


Lyra shakes with my movement as I throb and twitch with it, feeling my body squeeze itself desperately to get this too-soon orgasm out. Every muscle tenses and then it's free and feels like my clit exploding, the relief so needed.


Hey, that sounded pretty hot--

Suddenly the game takes control of my thoughts for an instant and I see a flash-vision of the flower it created using me before and then something is growing against the roof of my mouth!


Knowledge: I get my pet-flower now that I know how the game plans to take care of me.

It's candy-flavored and delicious and it pushes my mouth open with a satisfaction like that first moment of sucking Rada's dildo before, floats up out of my view and I feel it doing something to my hair then the stem of the flower touches my head and I feel it push into my skin which the game makes melt like soft wax to accept it and then I can feel that it's attached like my hair now, and part of me the same way, not alive just like hair isn't, but still me and I care about it like I care about my hair (the game doesn't do anything magic to make that happen, it's just how I feel).

All through it I keep pounding Lyra, urgent with the desperation of this sh--slip--shaky orgasm and yes I am a monster the fun of watching her squirm to keep holding the corset whose heat I can kind of scarily feel on my own midriff even through my wild ride and the climax she's somehow managing to have despite the pain. She's weeping, her eyes are wide, and her lips are pulled back in a wild grin over her tight-clenched teeth, outlining her cute fangs glistening with the same nectar as covers her lips--pain like this must be should make her curl into a sad little ball, but instead she just looks prouder and hornier than ever.


My scream takes the shape of a smile as I feel her eyes on me, I tense for the final thrust bouncing her breasts and making her soft curves move so beautifully and then we lock eyes as I shake again and my midsections squeezes in that scary hot way it does every time now, wringing me out like...fuck...a tube of paint.

Haaah...pant...wow...rrrraaah keep holding RRAAAH!

Then it's done and I drop back to the bed flop watching Lyra bounce on top of me and clutch at the corset to keep from dropping it when she oofs onto me.


The game makes my hand rise to the flower and while the other hand gives me a hug from hyperintelligent Lyra the game makes me pull on the flower--which feels like pulling my hair, attached but not painful unless--

"OUCH!!" I sob and whine with the pain of the yank the game gives the flower, hard enough to rip out my hair if it'd been pulling it, to show me how there's nothing I can do to tear the flower off, even in my most terrible tantrum, and then my hands are free and I can move again.

I look at Lyra with a lopsided smile, feeling...words won't describe it, and pull on the flower some more, wanting to feel it's inescapability.

Knowledge: when my corset manifested the gold shone white-hot as it was poured into forcefield-based molds. It cooled to solidity on being poured into them but it's still over a thousand degrees Fahrenheit in Lyra's arms right now.



My mind churns in terror, settles on wishing--


The Dreams reject my unspoken wish with a vision of the black-edged pages of the book, and I stare at Lyra.

Tears streak her face, she shakes with pain, squirming constantly against the thousand-degree metal, and yet I've never seen her look so strong. I've never seen anyone look so strong. She's beautiful like this.

"Then take it. Your clutch: Putting that down or getting it within six inches of me to off--"

The satisfaction isn't in making it easy by taking the choice out of it, or applying what's honestly a safety measure--let's not find out how fast nectar can fix third degree burns no matter how much of it she has for me--it's in, gulp, doing what I don't have to.

I'm a monster. There's a light in me that casts shadows on the surface of the sun, and now she's embracing it though it burns her.

So let her embrace.

"--and hugging it nice and snuggly tight as hard as you possibly can to on."

I finally understand how it can be somebody like Rada would cry while cracking the whip when her grip on the corset doesn't change even slightly.


If I think I'll stop don't stop this is beautiful--

"There must be a flat plate on that. Find it and use it as a mirror to show me how I look with my flower."


The gold is polished like a mirror, with tiny diamonds encrusting the edges of the plate, and it's pale so that if it weren't against her actually-silver coloring I'd think it was silver, matching my hair perfectly. This one single piece of it is as gaudy as the entire history of hair metal and I want to cry I love it so much.

The heat off it feels like staring into the sun, but can I see her hand is unburned.

As for my reflection...she has it perfectly centered on the flower, probably out of the same superpowers that give her Data's sense of time and reading abilities, and--

There are stars in my hair. Thousands of tiny points of light seem to float in front of my hair that seems to glow in the dawn like the melted gold did as it was poured, suspended in clear heartstone in the shape of a circular flower with a nubbly center, petals open wide, inviting.

While I look the game chooses what I'll think for me, and brings up my memory of what I thought when Lyra explained why the language stars speak is called Infernal. Stars might seem quiet and silvery, but when you get close, they burn you with the light their hearts make. I make light like a star does. Lyra is carrying it for me right now, but I bear it constantly. I'm filled up with fire, so bright it shines out of my face like I'm the sun rising. The game wasn't letting me see yet, but it's not a star out the window shining so brightly behind Lyra. It's my reflection in the screen over the game console. Her face wasn't blacked out by that, because I'm shining on her just as brightly. The game made the light in me physical, for this one morning, so I could understand what I look like to Lyra. Now the game has a name for me--it can choose how I title and name myself to everyone other than Lyra, because I'm it's pet now--to complement Blu'eyes, which is actually a last name, or at least that's what it sounds like. My new name is Lucy, because I have light in me that shines from my eyes like the heart of starfire, blue where it's hottest.

Now that it's told me, it seems so obvious. My hands look like they're made of fire where they still crush Lyra's hips to me--

Knowledge: the game didn't let me see clearly to keep me from looking at myself until I was ready. I'm not ready yet, but I will be, by the time Lyra and I come back to this room after leaving it.

It's not wrong, though now I'm curious--but even trying to catch a glimpse of my eyes in the corset-plate makes my clutch slip.


It feels good on my lips, and there's a weird meltyness in being named when I'm old enough to pick one for myself, and of course it's a specifically girl's name.

"Lucy Blu'eyes."

I look up at Lyra.

"Good cocksleeve. Hug it back and say my name."


If she can't talk through the pain, it'll just be cuter.


My face opens with a smile like the flower I just got to see her cute determination.


Lyra's still just as gorgeous in her a--slip--pain, but it feels like time for a new game, and I'm supremely curious about the book.

"Computer, compare the max visible surface temperature of the corset Lyra's holding with the bed's heat tolerance."

The first time I used a Federation computer had to be epic, and nothing is going to top that request, NYEAH NYEAH DREAMS I BET YOU CAN'T THBBBT.

My grin widens as a perfect Galaxy-class computer access beep sounds and Majel Barret replies:

"Maximum surface temperature visible is five hundred seventy-six point five three degrees celsius. Starfleet regulation bedding maximum temperature rating is nine hundred fifty degrees celsius. Fire supression dampening fields provide safety to nine thousand degrees celsius when activated. Margin of safety one point six-five or fifteen point six-one with dampening field."

Duh. Of course all the beds on a ship that's guaranteed to fight at least one actually-hostile radiation of the week each episode have fire blankets.

As soon as the Computer finishes, the Dreams show me their response to my taunt in the form of a vision of--is that the ship from Flight of the Navigator? It changes to a green checkmark of confirmation...and reference.

I gulp. This should be good.

"Stay just how you are until I finish, cocksleeve."

We've been teaching and teaching me this lesson, but I always shrink back after the moment passes, and it feels harder each time to go again, even though--she's so--

Finally, like tearing inside myself: pray for me to wake up and beat you into doing a good job for me and make me believe it or we're stuck like this.

Voice in my head like a praying voice respectful and serious.

Sugarfeast Goddess please your pleasure-toy needs discipline. She needs your commanding hands molding her into a shape that is beautiful for you to enjoy and to share with the rest of the people you show her to. Please come alive and take hold of me with tight scary punishments and orders that give me no space to make mistakes. Make me do what you tell me or be sure I will regret it so I never stop giving you everything to be a good porny doll and service you with all my strength every time.

Despite myself her words turn me on. A lot. Worship flows into me, and lust wells out like Sugarfeast cum--you can move, cocksleeve, but you'd better show me how one of my followers prays to get made into a toy or you'll be your own nipple clamps until you get the message and I'll let Malina decide how long and how hard WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT JUST COME FROM THAT WAS HOT. COME ON, PRAY, DOLLY!

Eeep help arms move hurry getting more lust just a little errrraaaaah there move in front and up to squeeze my breasts out in front of me very tight--

"Would you like us to demonstrate the pressure we choose?"

"Yeees," I grin evilly--hands from behind my back snake around my breast--


Fire spreads where my nipples were as her shocking strength crushes them to jelly. The blood isn't hot or cold, strangely--I look down, and see my nipple intact, somehow, and giggle, though it hurts like hell and they still sting, because that was hilarious, and now I've got the masochistic rush of taking pain to amuse someone I love deeply.

"Make good use of that. We enjoyed it lots, especially the sound you made."

My whole body turns into a map of fun games she might want to play, and beautiful toys to use, and the agony is as rough as slamming my hand in a car door, but...English fails so hard here. "The pain has no sting" is exactly not what's happening FUCK OW THROBBING but OW DAMMIT it's the best can (pant) say.

I start to hackingly sob, just quietly, because between her and Boobsong's devotion I don't feel disgusting now.

--Boobsong paused when Malina distracted me, but she still has lust.

"My dolly runs down if I don't play with her," I chirp in a weird fae voice about seven years old, then grab her chin and make her look me in the eyes and go on in the same evilly sweet voice: "Out loud now that you know the consequences, dolly," and let her face go and grab her wrists to set her hands cupping her breasts to present them for me.

"These go here when you're praying unless you offer me another hole. For a punishment you get this--"

I click eyes up here on my eravahk, "--and you have to show your submissiveness another way. Don't let me think you're not still my cocksleeve!"

My voice is small, singsong and dangerous. I really sound like an evil Fairy, at least to myself--oh shit no sweet screaming atomic fireballs I really am a horror movie monster.

She has lust still, but it feels like she's running down.

"Drip, drip, drip, you'll have a hard time if I let you run down, won't you? Feel it go? Soon you'll just be a doll again, unless I think you should move for me. Why should you get to keep going after that? You saw me inside."

Keep moving don't lose the dance something in the frozen lake is moving SHUT UP SELF THAT SAYS THIS IS AWFUL THIS IS FUN!

Holy fuck what just happened you're back again all at once AAAH SELF GET TO WORK!

"Princess your cocksleeve just thought bouncy breasts would be pleasing that's all! Please let her move for you, she can worship you any way you tell her just explain it so her cocksleeve mind be sure she will worship you the way you want to the very tip of her tail! Make her explain every part of your command back to you or just feed her pictures of what you want step by step don't leave anything up to chance not a single thing! Do your hurtiest punishment now to be sure your slave will remember this always! She will always be good if you shape her--"

Do I think that's acceptable are we playing yet you're on your last drops and see me considering this muahahah tick tock dolly!

"Six point five I think. You got it just in time, dolly! Here."

I click grind raunchily on my eravahk.

Here my hips go move them so sensually back and forth to express how urgent my need to make you feel good is LUST HAAAH SWEET LUST JUST IN TIME!

Please explain what the answer was I'm so curious I want to know how to please you best!

"You begged me for my hurtiest punishment in a very cute way that made me think you know you're my dolly and not all those other big fancy things. I know I said, but now you can feel the contrast. Then riiiiiight at the very last moment when I thought we would see what would happen if you ran down on me without getting it you said you'll always be good if I shape you and I said at the start to pray for me to beat you into doing a good job for me so now that you know get back to it and do it right with your hands like that and your body moving. If I don't think you're saying it as hungrily as you can with your body and voice you get a big whack and if I catch you thinking you don't really want this as much as you're saying I'll stop and be nice. Come on dolly, back to praying!"

Slowly extend my hands with my breasts to hold them out offering Princess her s--her dolly I'm not any other thing just dolly.

Okay here we go with this ulp push my hands up and squeeze so tight it's incredible I don't cry and pray for everything I need so bad!

"Goddess please very beggingly with her heart laid out on the ground for you would you please beat up your dolly every day to make sure she remembers to pray properly and always correct the slightest mistake or even thing that didn't please you then just to make her so she always does everything just exactly how you like it best Goddess she begs you with such burning exploding need for you to please, please PLEASE make her always do good for you with a very good hard punishment till she cries and screams and says harder Goddess don't stop for your dolly being soft and scared keep beating up on her until she is a ball of pain that has to be held up by strings till the welts heal and then go some more to make sure just to PPLEEASE be entirely this dolly is the very best dolly she can possibly be for you!"

"If that's not enough you should keep her bruised so she always has a place to remember if she messes up, WHACK!"

I can feel her run out right before the last sentence, the place where squeezing-out juice becomes frustrated used up bubbles, just like with me and begging Mama. That's the last drop, and I splurted the bottle a few times to be sure.

"Well done. Ten! You meant that, didn't you, dolly?"

Nod your dolly's head with your hands still on your dolly's breasts.

"I could tell. Bounce your breasts and get your hands up high. Dance, dolly!"

Let go of your dolly's breasts super bouncily hehe bbbboing bounce her chest and her legs on you with the grinding you make her do and get dancing, whee!

"Do you know what you're dancing for? Look inside me and tell us all, we're naked now anyway!"

"This is this dolly's victory dance because her shape got changed! Now she says dolly and not those other things like slave or cocksleeve and it's deep down inside in her deepest place. It's also celebrating her Goddess' being able to be like this and take hold of this dolly and change her shape super suddenly!"

Her answer to how she did with that is just my smile and yanking her in close by the leash as I click half-closed-mouth blowjob face on my eravahk.

EEP pulled close! Get your dolly's head down but look up still like your dolly is saying please fill her mouth up with your hard massive clit and make her expand her throat to fit all of it and place her hands on your shoulders like going down so she keeps the place you put her in and make her eyes half-mast and soft to say cum in please then put her tongue on her lip and just open her mouth a little with super soft lips that just like pussy lips and lick them around super sexily to make sure they have nectar everywhere and shine like the heart of your dolly now that she knows you'll be tough and make her do everything right.

Nine for that last bit of beautiful self-expression. I lean down and kiss her hard on her very ready-looking mouth--kiss back, you--with my bound hands at her neck (did I forget I was tied up, or just get comfortable?). Slippery artificial grape gummis embrace my lips, kiss back with yielding passion, and her tongue dances with mine, urging me into her soft mouth.

Gasp YES you're really this pleased with your dolly you really just taste happy now that she served you well! SO LONG nice Princess so afraid to have fun with her doll! Welcome back, mean Fairy awesomeness!

Yes, and mean Fairy is done with this game but there's on more thing to play.

I click "kneel up devotedly" on my eravahk.

Back gets so straight and sit up on you with my face down and hands on my ass to keep them out of the way.

"This isn't part of the game if we're even playing. If we lose for that I guess we lose. Dolly, I have one more thing for you, and this is going to hurt, but it's not a punishment. Do you understand? Say back to me what you see inside me."

Oh please it's time your dolly needs her mark so bad PLEASE just go through with this.

"Because you don't say just be nice and you'll feel happy things. You say this is hard and it hurts a lot and that starts right here. To be marked like this has to make your dolly scream to be clear it's that. Your dolly is ready Goddess. She might scream but she'll be good."

"You're going to look me in the eyes again as I do it."

And I cup her face with my hand shining like the center of a supernova, steadied by my other hand that's bound to it under her chin, and hold it there, pouring color that's just as hot slowly into her cheek.


She doesn't squirm or struggle. She screams at the top of her lungs--and she's made to scream alongside me--but she looks into my eyes with hers full of love and shining with joy and nuzzles into my hand like I'm just giving her a loving caress, moving just so as not to mess up the design seeping slowly out of my palm and into her cheek. Watching her suffer like this, doing it to her, makes me pant, fills me with a weird indescribable rush, not even sex, just raw power.


When the design is finished, I hold my hand there, just because, just to see you feel this pain and cuddle into it looking so gorgeously sweetly demonic and devoted dear beloved dolly, and then slowly take my hand away, still smoking with wisps of iron vapor my light fused up out of the lighter elements in the air doing this (the Dreams held my heat just next to my skin so I didn't vaporize most of whatever world we're in, but that made a good fusion reactor when I wasn't touching Boobsong), to reveal the brilliant rainbow starshine on her cheek in the shape of my shining heart sign.

I turn her head to show me it properly with a nudge of eravahk, and click check this out through my eyes and see how beautiful you are on my eravahk.


Grinning from ear to ear, I blurt: "And so do I, beautiful and terrible as the dawn, and if can't use that line--no, no! How's it feel to be touched by a star, dolly? Nobody can say they've felt me like you have! Nice and loud for everybody!"


"It's going to be, soon enough, the way I'm feeling! Now we're doing your ass later, when I can whack you across the room properly, so be patient. You'll feel it, oh yes you will. Stay up there like that on display while we find out what happens next, you're my standard-bearer now!"

Standing so proudly tall! Waiting to see what's next with patience for a million years. Everything is just how it's supposed to be.

Oh! Duh! "Dolly, make my heart-hands sign! Right up in front so you squish your breasts out nice and jubbly."

Hands up and get your dolly's breasts on her elbows to make sure they're squished enough and put up your dolly's hands with their forefingers pointed down and thumbs curled in to make your sign in front.

"We rate your play a ten of ten. Her scream was beautiful."

"How about a sing-along, y'all, in honor o' Boobsong's rebrandin'!"

Cherry holy sparkler sundaes it's good to hear your voice especially if we're about to hear you sing!

"Hell yeah! Hang on you guys, you know what song this needs!"

This should be good. Guitars croon up from the background, clear as bells with the inertial dampers on, and tears choke up my voice as I think that thought and recognize the words and do my best to catch them and nudge Boobsong a nice demanding and squeaky sing, dolly! before we miss the vitally important first line and what it says to the jumbled fragments of horror and nightmares and loneliness in my memories and all the hours of thinking I would never, ever reach this moment, and what Boobsong never forgot for a microsecond but I found always so hard to hold onto in the darkest times, the belief in me and all of this that has lake of ice in my heart melting into bathwater and my worship so overflowing now that I'm not sure how the car isn't solid candy top to bottom. She never stopped thinking the long, long path we took to finally come here would have this end. One day reach this beginning. My voice will barely whisper the first verse, but Boobsong's got it:

"It's been a long road, getting from there to here!"

My arms squirm in the cuffs and fists clench up like Boobsong in that picture, but I manage to make some sound on the next line, even though--even though:

"It's been a long time, but my time is finally near!"

It's gotten dark outside, and the snow has cleared. Mama seems extra-smirky up front.

I hope in all my sermonizing about nakedness and partying like a Strawberry and being uncool and holidays and stupid stuff you love and my little foreshadow about cringey music that's actually awesome and makes you cry a little that it never seemed like I was saying any of that stuff is easy. Walking into court that first day after Unveiling with nothing to hide behind but Boobsong on my arm--you got jewelry, but not even so much as a handbag--is one of the hardest things I've ever done, and I'm me. I've always been me. I pined for that day from my earliest years--and I'm sorry if that freaks you out--no. I'm not sorry. That's the whole point here. That's a part of my past and it's important to me. If you think it's uncool or bad somehow, tough.

"But I can feel a change in the wind right now, nothing's in my way,"

A HUD flicks on in the windshield with shuttlecraft-style approaching-flight-corridor brackets, and there's a mechanical thud overhead as Mama taps at the console that's appeared beside the steering wheel.

"And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna hold me down!"

That strength to stand there naked and ridiculous can be one of the most powerful things there is. People lose parts of themselves and end up all frozen like me trying to raise the shields that protect them from things like the reality that sometimes you have to be a dyed-in-the-duranium Trekker sitting in a car that just deployed warp nacelles from the roof if that red-and-blue glue out the window is what you think, with your family screaming the most hated piece of music in the entire fandom at the top of your lungs with utter, unironic weeping sincerity yes because Enterprise is kind of good actually and it's fun to feel silly with people you love and more because it means so much to all of you but really because if you don't your dear beloved faithful dolly who worships you so hard you can feel it pouring fire through your chest and who's sitting their wearing the shining heart she just snuggled the fire that literally burned hell itself to cinders to get and who has pledged over and over and over and over to follow you the granter of that mark wherever you take her no matter what the chance to sing these words with more deservingness than anyone ever earned a song lyric and not have to think about how it's uncool or bat away the surge of emotion it brings at least to her sobbingly singing goddess BELT IT OUT DOLLY:

Gaaaaaasp inhale all the air in the universe--


Mama taps a final few fuzzbeeps of Federation console where the key was and the steering wheel Transformers-es into a LCARSolicious navigation console and with her hands in the holographic flight controls the ground drops away and the the canopy fills with stars as the changed flows back through the cabin to turn nineties plastic and fake chrome into duranium and shiny Starfleet upholstery HOLY FIZZBUBBLING BLOODWINE JUICEBOXES YOU NOTICED THEY TOTALLY LOOK LIKE MINIVANS TOO I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

So reader now that you get this and see where it's going and understand why doing it might be so important it changes your whole life, I have a challenge for you: open this link in a new tab, and click play, and scroll back up to "Guitars croon up" and start reading again and now that you've read the section once think of all in the car here and sing along with us. Loud. Make your voice hurt.

I triple dog dare you.

It helps if you kind of clench your fists on your legs like that. Grab your nightie if you're wearing one.


I can see how I look to Boobsong in her heart as she sings, a diamond made of fire, shiny and beautiful, big as worlds and as precious.

[!] Mommy you are my world. You're my everything. You're more precious to me than every diamond in every universe, whether or not you could replicate them!

Yeah no more singing for me. I just sob and look at her sitting up tall with the pride she has earned and earned and earned as the family's voices wrap around us like a hug, including the sobbingly-familiar charging-capacitors sound that means things are as they should be again and it's time for new adventures and in just a moment...

So like, may someday somebody show you something that makes you feel the way Boobsong is making me feel right now. May you have love like I do in your life...but watch out.


If you don't have the strength of soul to accept the way some stupid TV show theme song is capable of making you feel, it'll either rip you right apart, or you'll freeze so cold they'll think you haven't even noticed them--

"Hey remember the day we met, mom? Big helmet? Rick Moranis?"

I nod in that weird way crying people do, but can't talk.

"Why," I mouth, eyes locked on Boobsong.


I love you so much, dolly. So much. You're my reason to shine.

[!] Goddess it's hard to sing and be crying this much. Please have mercy this time.

You're making the exact sound I want, you silly toy.

"There's one thing I can't see anywhere all of a sudden that we met in that hall that day."


"I--what," holy strawberry Washington Monument souvenirs the prophecy can't possibly have been this tightly wired. I disintegrate the rest of the way, remembering how alone we were that day, just me and Boobsong in an alien world we were surprised to even find English speakers in, let alone Trekkers.


Two nights ago

he secret rest they're after. Only after cradle breaks, and down the slippery ladder

"Okay serious time. I guess this is now, because it's us using my head to unlock the secret rest of this prophecy using what huge nerds we all are as like the encryption key, and then only after cradle breaks and down the slippery ladder is Boromir in the boat-funeral going over Rauros--"

"Hehe this is now? Now-now. Now. So what we're watching here, is....now. Mommy Spaceballs they rent the movie while they're in the movie, remember?"

can Earthling far occur us onto sticks in heaven. Once and six and seven make

How can I feel shy about this, when I'm about to do this next part? Cocksleeve, unzip my purse for me.

Unzzzip walking careful not to knock you off your bounciness.

"That means can Earthling far occur us is now! In which case--"

In which case it means a chain of obscure spur-of-the-moment Earthling geek-culture references bringing us to...half a step back, cocksleeve. There's a perfect thunk of shutting helmet, and her voice is both nasallier and...Vaderier when as I poise she finishes her sentence:


Game help me sell this I might leave an atom or two of dignity behind if I do it manually.

Eep step back!

With a flourish and whirl and a "PSSSHOOOM" lightsaber noise, I whip my clit out of my purse and drop into the silly-looking hands-to-crotch Spaceballs fighting stance, holding my clit there, squaring off against my--visible opponent, thank you Isht Visht for this awesome flickery Dark Helmet hologram!

He's armed with an equally literalized writhingly-tentacular "weapon", of the appropriate size for:


We circle each other in the hallway poising to duel for a minute and then I implode into giggles and Helmet vanishes as Lyra and Isht Visht join me in the puddle of silliness.

"Cocksleeve, kiss on this and put it away."

Hehe pant so funny...

Take in my hands kiss reverently snuggle nestle slip inside and zzzip.

"Aaah, " I coo at her attention.

Game, why didn't you help me be ridiculous?

Knowledge: I was already totally stupid. There was nothing it could add to my silliness.

SWEET! I want treats for doing good, game!

Knowledge: I'll get them when it's time to escape to my cabin with Lyra. My horny entitlement will add to the treasure.

YEAH! MOMMY GOT ALL THE WAY STUPID! Doesn't it feel sexy to be totally safe and have nothing bad happen when you humiliate yourself Mommy? I feel like that when you hold me I want you to feel like it often that's why I made the game hold you like this.

Present day


So what Isht Visht doesn't see around here is, gulp sob cry...


Isht Visht's voice booms with Vadery reverb, Mama sits back and holds her hand up by her head--

"Boobsqueeze, it's your birthday. You say it!"

The tears Mama intercepted explode from me as predictably as a prevented warp core breach, and I fumble with my brain for a second and get both hands up and aim them out the canopy to Boobsong's right and make The Fingers without taking my eyes of Boobsong's singing beauty, gasp my voice into one word of usability, and--

WAIT JUST A REPLICATOR SUNDAE STREAMING MINUTE OH! Isht Visht is doing LOWER DECKS! That's what this art style is!

"Damn straight! Curly kinked up weird. You know what mean."

And I was so close to screwing this up! I mean Picard is awesome and I grew up watching TNG but, what is Lower Decks really but silly TNG? Do I like it better than TNG YES I DO it's even got Riker making Horgon jokes and Picard might be the captainest Starfleet Captain (present company excepted) but as far captains I identify with Captain Freeman of the Cerritos is a lot closer if only for this one thing and seriously let's just say those words again Silly. TNG. Do I have to explain this now so game I need some captain's chair arm-rests I can use to Jam my harron!

Silvery captain's chair arms fold around from behind me like the Waifu's control sticks and I lean forward like the uppity Princess I am and the cuffs pop open so I can do this part properly and I ball up my fists and bring them down demandingly on the chair-arms as I command in a voice that surprises me with its strength and power the so perfectly appropriate order:


The charging capacitors crescendo and burst into a thud of plasma flooding nacelles and the stars streak out and the canopy fills with their light and we're at warp.

"Booooobsqueeze, look at this now! Your name in the stars!"

Isht Visht's warp drive, fully-realized and fully-functional complete with dilithium antimatter guides and verterium cortenide coils, is TNG-era canon-perfect from the sound...to the little rainbow streaks that surround us, gracefully inching by in the distance DAMMIT MAMA I'M ALREADY CRYING AS HARD AS I CAN!

"Well I said you'd be wet later, but I didn't mean this way. Just you wait, you'll have more things than crying to keep your mouth busy."


Yeah no way all opening my mouth does is let a sob out...oh caramelize it. She'll see either way.

I love you so much Mama. I can't wait.

Welcome to the Abyss. If candy's not your thing, want some breadsticks?

...and if you get that Trek reference, and can't see why it's applicable here, I have a shipment of self-sealing stembolts to sell you.