12 - Parental Guidance Suggested
Now if that strawberry goowiggled bimbo Rainbow can avoid having one more freakout, we can let Sex's key turn, and see what she does with us. I'm ready, what do you say, sex dolly who's name gets more confusing every time you and Sex are in a sentence together?
ERAAAAAH LET'S DO THIS THING!
Maybe I'm just being petulant, because shouldn't the idea of having every sub I take to Heart Home or catch in a Fairy Ring be controlled like my sex dolly fill me with wicked glee, but I want her favoriteness to come out in my use of her. Can we have something special that makes every eravahk click and mental pluck say this is the special one very hard without rubbing the noses of my other toys in it? I guess there's another thing, heh.
Sweet game: Boobsong has special priority way to go on forever. Subs need recharging of command-giving toy. Recharge by giving Boobsong commands.
I can only use them because I have her. Sounds about right, yeah. Boobsong is special because I try to turn everyone I'm close to into her if she's not around (don't ask how I know this. It's an ugly tale). This is a safety net, or would be if the Dreams didn't spike that kind of thing way before it happens. Even Sex has just barely escaped with her wind-up key and the Succubus game. If I hadn't remembered then...try not to think about it, the game thinks for me.
Pussywillow, I'm turning out to enjoy what your seed-ghost laid out for me. I just picked a new one, hear it telling you?
Targeting awesome fun: Rada can place a square box on the ceiling or wall, and say try to throw Boobsong there. If you hit, the prize is being allowed a bikini (clit must be off unless using harness) until you come back from exploring. Rada becomes able to tell you what toys you can have (not meaning clit).
Bikini? Hell yes! You can be so much more naked in a bikini than actually naked. You can flash and make like it's falling off (or actually lose it at the right moment, my game's very good at that) and generally show the world how little it would take to get you actually bare. They're the funnest thing.
Oh Sis I'm begging don't clean out Heart Home! Not till I see all my toys waiting, first! AAH do toys include Boobsong!? I know you wouldn't but somehow that doesn't matter!
Not even likely. I have a better idea for you, sweetum. Watch your eyes when you hear it. I don't think Boobsong counts for this, but the other subs do if I'm hearing right!
Boobsong is special here, no toys means heartstone doll only.
Whew. Only one question then: how do we keep these coming? These are all things my game has control of anyway, and it feels like a million years since I got to use any toys anyway. This is foreplay, I want the fucking now. Unless these are freaking you out more, sex dolly?
Waiting for more to see but that rule, feel better now.
You have to get out of this scene at last, and then we have special time to get into this.
I need something. I don't think I can deal with this and the doll scene without a little--fizzbubbling rock candy what is that!?
There's a horny sound like a cumming girl--oh that's me--wait, what!? My vision gets blurry and turns so white it's like I'm drowning in cum, then something bangs up my spine like the way it feels to be fucked, my clit leaps out of Sex and into Boobsong and I cum so explosively my heart beats out the orgasm's strangely mechanical--ooooh that's my cum machine, not a heart that pumps. I still feel the high and sweet pounding push of each pounding throb as it pumps her incredible soft-feeling slickly moving with the rhythm of my thrusting gears pussy full of Strawberry (artificial, naturally, hehe) goodness. The sex machine inside of me beats a pounding smack against her hips like the beat--wait, that is the beat--of the Starlight Princess theme song which is two beats a second to hit the psychoactive frequency that'll make your brain trip so you can journey, and I'm getting high from the journey-beat as well as cumming in doll-form. I hope the trip we take is a good one...
I thought I was supposed to not be able to fry? Why'd I get spiked here?
Knowledge: my game skipped me ahead while Eisela held me and Sex put the harness and my clit on me. It agrees that I couldn't have taken more, but I had to be sated before I change back or the desperation would have destroyed my brain, not just burned out my reason. Fairies have died that way, though not in the Dreams.
Well that's a scary thought but makes me feel like myself. I've wondered a lot if I'm actually fried and just too dumb to realize.
Knowledge: nothing has fried, even a little bit.
Eisela, no Sis? Where did she go?
Knowledge: where I'm going next. Sex will be waiting here with her key held by Isht Visht, and I can come back in doll form and try something my game thinks I'll like a lot, but I should be flesh for this next part.
The orgasm peaks and they pull me out just as the last drop squeezes out of me, and Boobsong and me are in--what is this place?
There's a curtain of dark twinkling stuff just in front of us, and we're standing on soft-feeling carpet together with our arm in arm like we're going to prom, and I'm back in human form--oh.
Um...thinking for myself, how did that work. Just being there is so easy, this takes all complicated choosing and stuff.
That was a hell of a transition, eh dolly?
Yes. Dizzy now.
I look at her just for the sight of her happy face, pl--wow it's stuck. Click.
Princess face hi. Look at your then around at here. MMF YAY HI MOMMY!
I grab a peck off her lips and look with her.
Just see curtain stuff everywhere.
Sticking a foot out to see it past my boobs shows me my toes squeezing deep-pile black carpet--
"Just wait right there for another moment."
Hey, this is kind of like Isht Visht's airlock that weird night! Let's take it all the way. Click!
EEE makeout time! Grab your shoulder and bounce up and get your sex dolly's legs around your waist and start kissing EERUMMF...yay tongue lick and hang on tight--
I grab her under the ass as she jumps up, and use my free hand to get ahold of her breast, and her mouth squeezes pullingly around mine--
"Look, we're at Rarity's!"
The curtains pull back--hang on, kissing Boobsong--
Yum sexy feast...
"Looks like you got caught with your pants down! Well, you'd have to have any. I do have these jumpsuits that might look cute on you--oh, you're not allowed. Jewelry it is then!"
Okay we did this right. Without letting Boobsong's breast go or putting her down, I break our kiss and look in where the voice came from. It's terribly familiar, but that could just be having seen every episode of Friendship is Magic like fifty times...no, there she is, standing next to Sis--oh, click--
Looking where Mommy does. HI SEED MOM! WANT TO GO HUG PLEASE PRINCESS!
The ghost from Happy Chains, and our seed-mom, Rarity. I think her name is the same. She's a heavy muse to have even the idea of fashion and emporium and her sweet nature come through along with white pony with purple mane--I want to go on and on about My Little Pony instead of facing weird glitchy sad thing I feel seeing her, the same kind of pinch as when I tried to remember our family at first DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE GOING TO GO HUG YOUR SEED MOM HELLO CLICK.
Oh right, need a different button, click. This game really makes her feel like a remote control toy.
I give her boob a last squeeze--
SWEET BUT YOU'RE COMING RIGHT--Oooh sexy dolly says yes okay.
--and let her slide down me, but she just stands there until--
Whack! Get going spank. So yes.
She is so cute. I follow right behind, glowing from giving that spank--wait, my the ballet splints are off? Oh, my game only said they'd stay through winding Sex.
Oh strawberry freezerpops I got addicted to the pretty and now I'm all sad it's gone. This is going to be trouble. I'm glad we're here if I remember what here is right. I'll get some on Boobsong soon enough but I want to be shiny! In the right place the, I suppose.
Wait our seed-mom would know my clothing rules...duh, and how to rub it in without mercy. This is going to be fun, but watch out, readers, this isn't even the tip of a Green Checkmark, and I had four before. Five if you count the first one separately.
I think think was a like changing room kind of. The store if that's where we are is a blur because ahead of me is Boobsong's sweet little butt pumping and happy tail swishing half-up and the empty place on her right cheek that should make my eyes burn with color and light up a space this dark is giving me thoughts of paddles with imprints and branding irons and just dripping trillion-degree drops of color onto her while she squirms stretched out on a pentagram and behind that are Sis and our seed-mom oh hey eep she's family for sure can she read my mind too!? I think she'd approve, if I remember right, but still.
"Very approving. Hard idea, that heat thing. Come here and hug me now."
We're right up to her, and she lowers her head as we get close and each take a side of her sleekly-fuzzy, expensive-shampoo-and-purfume scented neck and hug tight, while I click for some entangling Boobsong tail on whatever it finds first, and get it just holding me by the waist.
"You're very attached. It's good to see."
Seed-mom hello hug you hard!
Have to take care of your kid.
"You're my kid, as I recall."
No words will come to that. All I can do is nuzzle into her graceful neck.
"Missed seed-mom. So much."
I didn't specify a volume, so she whispers heartfully, which is how I feel. I missed you too--well I guess you'll see anyway is your name really Rarity I'm sorry I'm suck a such a mess in here this feels awful I know you but it's all hurt--
When I don't try to think about it doesn't pinch and I remember like that she'd approve. I missed you so much mommy-[glitch of missing Strawberry word that means like ghost or demon or spirit but not su'khora].
Fuck this I love you it's so good to see you again.
"I love you, little Sea-farer! Remember your sailing ship?"
Not Isht Visht or the Enterprise or the Waifu it wants to burst out like the airship in Final Fantasy it was Strawberry Dynasty medieval a royal yacht was it--OUCH! RRRGH! I actually whine out loud--oh snarglepops I still have a voice, it just won't work for words. I forgot that fast.
"Accessories! You can have a belt, I'm sure--it has to be thin, I see. Well, let's just see what we have, but I don't think a thin belt works with your frame. Maybe some fancy tight lace--oh I see. Well then, let's try hairpieces! There must be a way to complement your crown."
My grey antennas seem so drab now that I have my rainbows back.
Just where did I decide I like these? I don't know, I was heartbroken when my game gave them as a reward, but now they feel like a silly lifejacket of being me every time I toss my head and feel them boinging around.
FEET! My foot fetish has been jumping up and down so bad all day I just get walk on her everytime I try to think up a punishment! Do I remember you do like, footwear?
Oh it was just mommy-boo, because I was like two. I learned how the ghost inside of me made my doll to play with me early on when I thought I'd lost the doll, and she just came back. I don't want to think about that it was horrible but a boo inside of me must have a mommy-boo, that's just obvious.
"Do I do footwear. Well. Come this way."
She moves her head--
Sex dolly has to hold on until order stops but THAT'S OKAY WITH HER!
This makes me giggle into Mommy-boo's neck (alright I guess my head still think's that's your name) and let Boobsong cling a little longer while Mommy-boo's--
"No, let her stay, it's fine. You come here."
Fizzbubbling tractor beam sundaes! I'm airborne, held in her telekinesis that feels like a soft warm hand holding me, and placed on her back riding before I can--Mommy-boo, are you sure? I got huge! It's not the same as when--I--wait a minute--umm.
"Not so sure, are you?"
I glance down at Boobsong to see her bodacious curves and cutely half-folded wings still hugging, flopping a little because she's thinking about something else. Mommy-boo (I hope I can still call you that because I think it's stuck) is the size she's supposed to be, just the right height for Boobsong to hug if she reaches up or me to hug and bury my face in her neck or shoulders (and, on a few very bespecialed days, mane) without stooping.
Except Four-Legs are about the same size all weighed up as Two-Legs (Boobsong makes an especially big one for riding), just...on four legs.
I finally tear my eyes away from staring at my own epic chest and Mommy-boo's beautiful back and mane to look around.
Her head fills most of my view ahead, and it's hard to get my eyes off, because she's as big as I remember. I think I might also be a little scared to turn my head and see Sis walking with her on the other side from Boobsong. You'd think after they world's most hardcore dollification scene ever this would seem cutely mild but APPARENTLY NOT GAH.
It won't happen. Am I dolled again? No, just that afraid. Being this age didn't go so well the last time, although if it ever was going to, these are the people and this is the place. Gulp anyway.
Mommy-boo would you put Boobsong up here please? Click to let go unresistingly.
Please more hugging please. Princess your sex dolly feels scared like you.
Boobsong floats up held by Mommy-boo's sparkly purple magic before I even finish the thought and I reach out for her as she's turned around to ride with me and breath a horny sigh of relief as I pull us together and feel her bouncy soft wings and sexy silky back against me and put my arms tight around my dolly. That gets me as far as not feeling like my head will fly off but I'm still breathing hard.
With arousal as much as fear and it's not just Boobsong snuggling back as I crush her to me.
Sis could be really comforting here, but there's sort of a mountain to climb first, eh dolly?
This was me I made jokes like this! Especially if I was scared!
Horny soft wet feelings...our prize would have twin peaks though.
Sounds like more than a handful, but I can't believe I'm making such a big deal of this.
It's a stretch to get back, Sex dolly thinks!
On second (grade) thought, I think you're minimizing the consequences.
They're strolling along slowly, but we're coming to some kind of sparkly opening. I still can't look up but I'd swear there's a kind of Fraggle Rock vibe to it.
"Mommy-boo is the name for me, as far as you go. Let's get you down to get measured."
Oh snarlygrape pinchsnapper sauce look before she gets the tape out and starts reading numbers off, Rainbow!
That gets my head free, and I turn and--
[!] Sex dolly please can look?
Fumble buttons click--look up at Sis, walking beside us, from where we're sitting on Mommy-boo's back. I'm an ancient statue made of rust and old wires to do it. I haven't moved in a trillion years and things pop and break free and Violet would cum if she could feel breaking open like I do right now just to turn my head.
Sis is so beautiful and tall and strong and Mommy-boo is an island of safety to sit on but all the terrors I've--we've been through, there's no armor, it breaks off to be here now--Sis looks down, and smiles so sweetly, Mommy-boo stopped I guess, because Sis can get gulp down to our level and look so kindly at us.
"Don't be scared, Boobsquish. Mommy-boo and me will take good care of you and Boobsong. Let's get you--here."
And she leans down and scoops me up with a hand under my ass and with her other arm hugging around both of us picks us up together off of Mommy-boo's back Sis hold us please gulp--eep are we getting smaller still!?
"Just be still and held, pussywillow. Measuring feels great, remember that? Lots of nice tingles. Oh I see what you're thinking there. Just let me turn you out where--no? Facing? Okay. You'll be done in five seconds the way you're feeling, it's no trouble, and I wouldn't mind if you took hours at it. You know I like this part."
Sis' hands so kindly big on me bring us up and put us against her chest and pull up ancient things cracking ice and old wood and memories like a kicked over attic as my mind bubbles and spurts trying to find what it needs to process this her touch is inside of me so kind and soft and big she has us right there in no time and how big are we who knows but her body's the perfect bed with plenty of space and breasts around--her hand's underneath my butt to support us and the other is stroking my back so soothingly that's what I wanted yes but AAAH and Boobsong's right there in my arms and I thought I would turn her around because I just had her from behind but my clit feels so hard it's it's hard I just click get me inside you now on my eravahk and start moving to get in as she twists and pushes her ass up and I get in position just poised Sis starts to sing and I pause but Boobsong knows what her job is and wiggles expertly onto my clit and pushes herself down to take all of it and but before I can thrust Sis' huge hand that most of my ass pushes with incredible strength and squeezes us together and...and...holy fuck she's squeezing me out into BoobsssOOONNN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH--
The orgasm rips through me with terrifying force and strange emotions I can feel Sis's hands inside the would hold me through anything so loving soft and gentle it's not physical but there she is and she looks down at us so gently entranced with her eyes half-mast and hands moving me so gently--
[!] Sex dolly thanks you for cum and this holding Princess! Happy hot sexy feelings aaaAAAAAH SUPER HARD CUMMING IN!
Grope I can grope Sis has the fucking covered my hands are free! I encircle Boobsong's breasts with two squeezing palms for a moment feeling her hot hard nipples in my palms then grip one boob tight to feel it come squishing out of my fingers and send my other hand sliding down Boobsong's front tracing her softly wiggly midriff and sweet little belly button with my fingers and then cupping her nectar-slick mound, and reach back until I feel my clit pushing into her lips as Sis squeezes us so kindly so I can get busy this way--
[!] Princess that's what you came here for that's the answer see how Mommy-boo and Rada make sex easy not take it away. You almost just said no we have stuff to do but Rada said yeah and it's your sex dolly.
The lust is incredible, I can feel light bursting out--
"Boobsong is right pussywillow. We'll make sure you feed just as often as your heart can withstand it--and I know what your heart can do!"
"I want their next feeding--take nectar, you silly goose!"
What--oh! I've left Boobsong's look with me at Sis order on this whole time except when I took my look but that's wonderful I love showing her face to people as I fuck her. Our favorite position is actually pony-style on a pedestal facing an adoring audience and a mirror behind them (I like to make Boobsong wave or wink at fans who catch my eye while I fuck her) but I kind of forgot the kissing part. I pull my hand from her pussy up and manage to get it out with lots of nectar still on which tastes ssoooo good when I get it in my mouth syrupy stretchy pussy-salt artificial grape candy that slurps all off my hand in one gulp when I suck it off and makes my head swim with delightment as it goes down and soaks off into my body with no regard to where my passage is or isn't once I've had the awesome incredible wonderful feeling of swallowing it.
Ouch hair pull yum tipping back to see Princess. She hungry now! Here it comes kissing mmmMMMFF tongue slips so deep feels like fucking face licking up everywhere yummy lust filling up sex dolly's heart with heat!
I kiss and kiss and kiss, making out to pull up great slick stretchy strings of her nectar that's the same between mouth and pussy (my command, her mouth could be normal but this is more kinky and the nerdy lisp it gives is adorable) to drink and drink and it makes me feel wonderful but I notice I'm distinctly not growing big again.
Mama's carrying us. She takes a few steps, and then there's something silky-soft under my butt like the edge of a bed (but my feet don't reach the floor). She carefully sets us there, picks Boobsong off my clit for me and sets her in my lap, and kisses my forehead sweetly.
"May I kiss Boobsong too?"
I want a big squishy french kiss, is the first thing through my mind--MMF! Sis's huge tongue invades my mouth and opens me to take a playful lick around and then oooh get more serious and caress every part of my mouth hot I hope she tastes Boobsong too and--oh Sis big sister...when I'm normal-sized Sis's lips are a precise pen-stroke darting around my big splatty paintbrush when she kisses me, but now I'm lost in her, so small and wet. She pulls back and looks at me, smilling happily and very hornily down with her eyes half mast and I hold up my dolly to present her for a forehead kiss and squirm all over because I know Sis will see me not being able to figure out if--
Sis leans down to kiss her and--what is this lonely lost wandering feeling that suddenly bursts out oh well in that case fucking CLICK and you put your back into it, cocksleeve!
Sex dolly's head comes up just as Rada gets here and jump right up and put her hands up strong to grab head and KISS SUPER TONGUEY STRONG MMFFFMMHMM...
Let go and snuggle lean head hi looking up at pretty sexy Goddess.
Pull your head back by your hair again and kiss you. Hey, a little Sis-kiss I think is still in your mouth, yummy.
There. Take that straggling remnant of Christian sexual mores from the bad stuff that made me all confused just now. My dolly kisses who I say how I say, that's our honor and obey. GrrRRrr.
Hot feeling wet because sex dolly owned. Princess' toy. She can play. RRR.
Also Sis' face just now, MUAHAHAH that was great dolly well done.
Happy face and bouncy butt! She was fun to take!
"Hehe...you two beat everything. That was yummy, thank you. Now we do have things to do, you just can't skip feeding time. Mommy-boo will help the next one if you don't beat her there."
"Maybe...she could help anyway?" I look up at them sweetly--Mommy-boo is beside Sis now--from whatever this is we're sitting on that's oh so comfy and totally going to be the next layer of mind-fuck.
...ack okay I do a good kid-voice. And I talked out loud. By age playing hard enough. I thought you were playing something like that, game.
"Why I'd be happy to! Just let me see you kids getting horny and we'll be there in no time."
Okay but why is this literally the hottest thing in the universe says the baby star who hit 9.36 zettakelvins (no I don't know what the Dreams did with the extra new universes) and feels like it'll make her unravel into cumming silly string.
If a grownup has answers okay but I'm just feeling weird right now. Did like I only ever think I liked to fuck for myself?
"Well we all like help sometimes, but it's also just fun! Sex-feasts are a family affair for my young ones, you know that."
Holy Sugarfeast parade confetti yes it is! OH THIS IS WHY THAT STUPID BAYONETTA THING WHEN MY MEMORY WAS EVEN MORE MESSED UP THAN IT IS! I knew Boobsong had a scary kink she took the "bottom" side of from her seed-mom, who was just as scarily "top", but I thought the kink was D/s! This is much cooler.
"What's next mommies," I bounce, as boobily bouncily as possible with me and Boobsong both to use to amuse them. They're loving this, they think we're adorable.
Oh brain, please no? ARGH, FINE, but then no more homework, there are shoes to try. Or stuff. Or something that will make this rush rush even harder.
The wisest thing I heard about ageplay was you can't do it if you actually are a kid, or say like mind-controlled to look act feel just like one even though your Actually 900 Years Old (or 50 or so in my case). Kids don't know they're kids. If they did, they would realize how pitifully vulnerable they are all the time and just die. That's why they think they're indestructible, not because they're stupid or unwise. I feel like I will right now, die that is, or explode, because I can feel my two wonderful mommies prying all my grownup armor off and there's nothing I can do about it but squeak and have fun and be scared out of my mind because I don't even have the indestructibility of heartstone or untouchability of idolizing to protect me but my grownup heart can feel and my grownup mind can see just how much trouble I'm in. If they weren't right here keeping me safe I'd sit here holding Boobsong and shivering and fidgeting her in that desperate way lost kids do with their toy.
Except I am perfectly safe. Big snuggly mommies will make sure and even make sure I get enough Boobsong always. And that I feed her good. And I have fun, I know I'm not getting out of being the mean fun Fairy Boobsong needs with these two taking care of me. Doing that should be impossible from little-space, right? If your sub's a pony or pet or high-performance airplane, yeah, but Boobsong's a toy, and this is the place she gets the me she wants most because once I get my brain to stop writing this dumb sermon I'll be fun, and if you think I'm a kinky Little...
You haven't seen sex dolly play games with her Goddess! Princess rapetag soon?
We need a lot of kids for that to really be fun. And to see if Sis will give us your Dragon Game cart. I think we're playing dress-up next, though.
Alright so end sermon where in any of that is the part a Big like my mommies whose kink is to watch me and Boobsong sitting here feeling the safety wrap around us and yet having the maturity to feel ever inch and vein of the vulnerability you're fucking us with and see it in our eyes as every defense drops away and we end up here, truly naked, breathing hard and looking up full of helpless wonder, what of that could a Big get with an actual kid, if they wanted to? If I turned into one, I'd miss all of it!
This way is so much hotter. That's why Boobsong and me could think we were still big in the curtain-thing, this isn't regression, at least that's not how we play. This is a roller-coaster that loves us, but it's the cool one you get if you open the Gates of Candyland still following the kid-stuff statues but making dick jokes and fooling around all the way and then knock by using the Gates as a bed to fuck on OOOOH I think I know what part of Mommy-boo's Emporium we're in and why that Fraggle Rock door never lead here when we were little kids now matter how much we intended to explore the grownup sutff.
EEEEP this is going to RULE let's get GOING.
"My brain's being dumb again," I blurt. It comes out in the same voice that got Boobsong her "dolly" name and cheek-mark.
"I'll fix that right up. Let's get you measured, you're a new size today. Feet up. Are we buying shoes for Boobsong, too?"
"Or maybe ballet splints--Mommy-boo, why is my collar for Boobsong gone? You made it, right?"
I stick my feet out--
"Left one first, and then we'll do Boobsong's. Are you going to want Four-Legs anklets too? We'll have to measure her--Dragon form!? Well that will be fun. We'll take her outside and scare everybody. This will be wonderful, just wait a minute."
It's so naked. I thought about maybe thinking about wanting stuff for her dragon form when Mommy-boo mentioned her Four-Legs form. I feel like everyone is fucking me all the time and I really hope you're all getting off on this because that's the only way I can stand it at all so please have your fun so I can't wonder or I'll blow up into a big grey balloon of worrying.
"Oh yes it's great fun. Why just now I saw you wanting to have yourself turned around and measured with tape and hands running over you until you're so tingly you stand like a statue without being used out of worship. What a pretty face you made in your fantasy! And this morning in Happy Chains you were so sweet saying I had beautiful eyes! You recognized me, just enough. There is this business with Sex, though. A swimwear fetish isn't something I can let go by. Especially not with you thinking those thoughts of saying she'll wear one to contrast Boobsong's cocksleeve attire. We'll get this all very nicely done. I can do matching jackets and swimwear no trouble easy fast. Don't be scared, I'm enjoying this! You squirm so well, and think you're sitting still, it's the cutest thing! Oh you want deeper still, how hungry-sweet! You're afraid I'm controlling your sex with Boobsong because you aren't taking care of her, and that you can't be able to do your own scenes again after all that dark parade you went through. You're so hungry that you can't see yourself, just a gaping hole. See, there's a Rainbow there, it just said I'm wonderful for seeing it so hard. I can go harder still. You're full of the wonder and joy of being here with us and fear it's a dream you'll wake up from and find the boring world from the nightmare times instead of us. You're afraid that this love you see all around you and from Rada and me and the family and not many times Boobsong but even her at times is just your brain being sad alone. Here's a thought, hang onto this when you feel that scared. In the world where you were in those scary times, you had family. They were plenty nice, but your heart went out to us after seeing them. Why would you miss your made-up family, having a real one? You remembered us, and we called for you. Here we are, that's that, let's get playtime on. Oh and you really love hardcore juicing. Squeeze me out Rainbow says I'm a yummy treat. Left foot up."
Her simple command fills my head with the soft stuff and gets the tinglies up before she even touches me.
Silly Rainbow fact time! I'm huuuuuuge slut for this. Mostly I get picky about doms and have to be close to them but this? Oooooh no. On Earth frazzled department store workers with crabby words could do it to me with those shoe-measuring things in a couple of seconds. Doctors if I don't see needles on their tray-thing, stethoscopes and caringness send it all over me and I have to pretend I'm not hypnotized. I've set myself off brushing my hair sometimes (Boobsong can do it or not as I tell her to, she has the knack oh yes). It's awesome, it's almost as good as sex but somehow has nothing to do with it since it worked just as good when I was a kid. With my mommies, being all loving and careful, after they break all my defenses off, sitting here on this table thing really small with Boobsong in my lap feeling safe and secure and just cum, and however Mommy-boo will measure me after seeing my fantasies (and hearing this blush squish), I'm over with. You can unspool the spool of Rainbow now. Tinglies forever bye bye come and play spaced out games with me dolly.
Mommy-boo's gentle magic picks up my left foot, she puts her head down to look at it, and tingles run down my spine and around my head under my crown (hey, it's shrunk too, wellll, good, turning into a kid crown is exactly what should happen to it) and then she starts poking so gently at my foot with the cool metal points of her measuring-tool that I guess probably is like calipers but who cares it just feels so goooood and now she has a little wheel that she's rolling here and there along my foot and it clicks as it rolls clickclickclickclick and I could see what she's doing and I could look around and I could gaze up as Sis and I could grope and squeeze Boobsong in my lap or even make her turn around and start making my head tingly but that's all so much doing stuff and Mommy-boo and Sis are so pretty right in front of me.
Hehe is she painting my foot now? A little cool lick is leaving wet lines on the top of my foot, and she's holding it so carefully and gently and her magic that feels just like she has hands she's touching me with like it's a part of her body except it becomes whatever shape is right to hold me. Tinglies explode over all of me and I sight just a little bit (sighing too much would be doing stuff and being still is so good when I'm like this) as she puts a hand of magic around the ball of my foot and another one under my heel and bends my foot up with such gentle firm kindness that just turns off my muscles there from doing anything but being the beloved doll I feel like as she does this and then the same thin little wet lick starts making lines along the bottom of my foot--
There's a feathery sound like a bird flying, and something lands on the whatever this is beside us. They're important but I'm tingly, so I still just look at Sis and Mommy-boo.
Oh I should cap Boobsong, that's important too. Click. Probably getting even more spaced out soon.
Lust going. Sex dolly happy wet warm and safe.
Mommy-boo's kind smooth fancy voice says something softly. I don't know what. Tinglies.
Mommy-boo switches to my other foot, doing the same stuff. My eyes kind of want to close a bit, but not really. Everything is just all tinglies. I think she and Sis are talking about something. I hear their nice voices, and maybe another one? I might just be really tingly.
Time kind of goes away when you're tingly, and I could look at Sis's breasts for a million years, so I don't know how long it is next. Stuff happens. There's light behind Sis, like a window maybe, it looks kind of sunny. I don't seem to want to look at where we are but maybe I just do want to look at Sis and Mommy-boo.
Bell. So pure and clear! Feels like the nice way cool metal on your skin does. Is it near my head? Yes. The sound feels good and it washes the tinglies away but with like cool nice water pouring over me instead of the sad scruffy way losing your tinglies feels when it's time to be done with them and you don't have this bell waking you up.
Mommy-boo is looking at us and holding a brass like tuning fork thing in her magic that she's using to make the bell. She has that flat little smile grownups get when they think you're totally cute and maybe kind of silly but don't want to make you scared to keep being silly by laughing at you when what you're doing is very serious to you. My brain starts to work and I know things like how long time takes again.
"Wake up, cute little ones."
She hits the fork with a brass rod in her hehe other magic and now the bell feels like drinking ice water when you're really hot and couldn't think because your brain was too hot (my star-magic's really weird. My own heat never burns me, and neither can fires or lightning and swimming in Auntie Lucifer where she's about as dense as water is just snuggly and warm, but I HATE hot summer days, I get all overheated and can't get cool till I like sit on a block of ice for a while, but it doesn't go the other way, like my clothing rules would be no problem for me on Pluto, just heat myself up with light until I'm warm).
"Mommy-boo brought a friend to play with! Say hi, Sweetie!"
"Rainbow and Boobsong! I missed you!"
THIS IS WHY NO ONE EVER EVER CALLS ME THE CUTESY CANDY FAIRY SWEETIE! If they called me sweetie, what would we call Sweetie?
I squeak it as excitedly as my still kind of tingliesed self can (the bell woke me up good but the little part that always hopes tinglies will come right back after they go isn't done yet), and then click.
HI SEED MOM THE HUMAN ONE!
You're supposed to--oops, right, can't talk without lust. Helpless cute dolly.
We're glomped by soft purple and white featheriness so fast I don't see where Sweetie even came from (I was still looking at my mommies this whole time because I mean obviously). How are we even hugged blinkblink I'm still waking up I guess--I reach up and hug back, find a snuggleable body in all the silky soft feathers, smile because she's as much smaller than her feathers as birds always are, and hug.
Nuzzly orange beak is against my cheek and then her birdy face with its purple crests and intense eyes is looking at me all drillingly. I can feel her fingers with their soft skin and poky little talons on my shoulders, and feathery legs straddling mine and Boobsong's.
"Your face is so enchanting with those rainbow irises you have. I know you don't like bird sex but I still can have your face inside my head when I cum next!"
"You've seen me," I giggle, and peck the hooked end of her beak with a quick kiss. Oh and she knows me and knows how to flirt with an exhibitionist.
"Not enough! So long has passed, you gained a rainbow crown, and your hair looks even more deep and rainbow than last time I saw your head like this! How's Boobsong, she's awake, right?"
I nod. Sweetie's so fun and intense, and I keep forgetting my crown is new. I mean it's not to me I watched mother wear it for my whole life in Strawberry Home. Hey I remember that some sort of now.
"She says SUPER ENTHUSIASTIC HI but we're playing doll right now."
Sweetie's greeting is actually super nice and not just because flattery will get you everywhere with this pretty Princess. It breaks the ice off a sad cold place that was scared to remember that even though sometimes seeds grow really different than their parents (I mean look at Viktor) it more happens that like, they'll be really close, and that makes your seed-family especially seed-parents a lot closer than even just like kindred spirits or stuff. You can't beat sentimental value and Sis is my sister AND my nursemaid from Strawberry Home AND she's completely awesome so like yes of course she's my Big but if you take Boobsong's Littleness and keep it the same but turn it around into Bigness YES I WOULD LIKE THAT PERSON TO BE MY BIG TOO! Sweetie jumping on us and doing the closest that works for us thing to just starting to make out with me smashes down that sad stupid little wall. Mommy-boo was about to do the same thing I think when I cockblocked her in favor of Sis (see Sis you're SPECIAL oh wait I'm kind of waiting on bwaha pins and needles to be ready for Mommy-boo to feed us)--like I guess we could fuck but that's almost second-best to playing Mommy and Princess and heartchild like we're doing now.
Sweetie looks down at Boobsong.
"Hi seed-child! Make your heartformer be the Rainbow I knew before, yeah?"
Okay for that she has to explain herself. I let a hand go from hugging, and cup it on Boobsong's breast instead, make a naughty face at Sweetie, and squeeze and pinch and twist Boobsong's nipple evilly, along with an a click that'll go as soon as she has enough lust to talk.
Look at Sweetie be very happy friendly grin wide eyes open wide hehe look psycho it's fun! Bwaha!
"Princess' mean game is better! She's making her sex dolly make her be the Rainbow her sex dolly wishes she was!"
"How does that happen? Details I want aaaaaall your sex stories."
Giggles! Sweetie is so much fun--So you can't read my mind, Sweetie? No that makes sense you're little like me and that would be a lot of responsibility. I only read my dolls' minds.
I look at Sweetie and lower my gaze a little and Aphex Twin at her, "It's complicated. There's windup and squeaky metal and dolls and not the doll you're thinkING! Well actually yes her too."
On too I give Boobsong a squeeze to make her squeak, and pile up some more lust. It might be playtime, if Sweetie is here.
"Okay now I'm listening. Let's have storytime! Rarity please can we? With sugar cherry blowjobs on top?"
Sweetie turns her head all the way around to look at Mommy-boo to ask her.
For real I'm so happy and playful wicked feeling right now. I have a total Grinch-grin on.
"Well we have some things to make, and we're going to see more of them at the--"
"Sssh! Don't spoil the big surprise!"
"Oh I wouldn't dream of that! I was going to say at the fairground. If your tack is to be Rarity-pretty, we should get a move on. Come here Sweetie!"
Sweetie bounds up off us in a feathery explosion, flapping her arms with their flight feathers out--
"I still want stories at the--hummt--"
There's a mmf of her beak being shut by Mommy-boo's magic and then more of it picks her up and sets her on Mommy-boo's back (see why you got all the history lessons? Now you get how kinky this is. I still can't believe Boobsong and me got to ride).
This does leave me with one question, which is WHAT THE SPARKPOPPING SADESYRUP PIXIE STIX COUNTS AS A BIG SURPRISE COMPARED TO EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING THAT'S HAPPENED TODAY!?
Brain what are you doing? Don't bring that up! Why would you even...ooh because Sweetie was talking about crowns and I'm the tired royalty this time. Okay but still why ARGH--
1357 AD, via time-travel journey from the 1990s
We seem to be in some kind of underground room, or at least it has no windows and is made of rough stone. Wine in the mildly-fancy silver cup waves and wobbles a lot like the screen we just came through--
Oh. Oh my swirly chosen one poprock soda lakes.
"Hi Arthur," I chirp brightly (literally). "You were looking in the cup for wisdom, right? You want peace because absolutely everyone is sick of all the fighting?"
We'll stay on probably-the-altar till he gives a sign of whether he thinks we should be up here or not. Could help. Same with telling him to get up or not.
"Spirit of light it is holy here. Do you say as much?"
"Oh sorry, we didn't mean to be on your altar!"
The ceiling is too low for flying off dramatically (I'm only not hitting my head because I'm looking down at bwahaha have to say it King Arthur in his secret chapel from standing on the altar), so I just lead Boobsong hopping down off to stand beside him.
"Coming out of the cup just put us there."
I look around. Cross-shaped room, another one on the altar.
"Oh this is one of Jesus' houses! Okay sorry to him I didn't mean to be on his altar. Anyway to answer your question it seems that way but that's between you and him really. Um, are you kneeling to him or me?"
Arthur crosses himself, stands, and looks at us. He's old, and looks so tired swirly sodden cupcakes I understand dude you have no idea--if anyone's got a Them like we did, it'll be you. It's like all the wars he's fought to keep his kingdom together and the round table round are carved into his face.
I mean assuming that's real, but he seems to be, so why not. He looks at me, looks like he's going to say something, stops, starts again:
"It is strange here to see a child of darkness as handmaid to thy princely frame, yet I will hear your voice anyway, for I should be damned if it save the battle I fear the morn will bring. If you bring any light to that darkness, speak!"
"Oh it's funny you should call her that! We were just trying to decide what we thought she is and we figured out she's definitely not darkness."
Super bright shine wings up to show them off your handmaiden sees what you're asking for!
The room turns purply-beautiful. Good cocksleeve!
This gets Arthur to finally have a good look. Impressive discipline--
"I was taken up--"
"No no, we're real, look."
And I jump forward to--hey, don't jump out of the way, you really need this hug!
Everything happens so fast. I stumble, brush past him--
HEY THAT'S HER HANDMAIDEN'S PRINCESS DON'T YOU DARE TAIL UP INFRARED LASER ZAP!
--there's a flash and a sound like thunder from behind me, I push off the wall of the tiny chapel and turn swooshily around in my big dress to see Boobsong with her fists clenched and teeth grit and tail pointing at Excalibur's smoking hilt in Arthur's hand--oh that smell is a few pounds of iron vapor um game can you get some ventilation before Arthur gets like iron lung or something please. And maybe like some lavendar he looks like he needs to chill out.
Smelling like the gentlest whiff of pinkly purple flowers, breeze blows through the chapel from here where I stand and out the back.
Acme Station is watching you Arthur man don't you make one more move! RRR!
"I am so. sorry. That was so thoughtless of me to scare you like that! Of course you have to be on your guard all the time if you're armored down here. Are you okay?"
Stand down and look cute and pretty, handmaiden. It's okay. You've seen me like this. Game you're saving the pieces, right?
Stand up so tall hands into just holding them no more fists and put them back and look sweetly down.
"Thus is my kingdom's fate sealed."
"Um, I know who you are. If you just did that, that sword wasn't going to save it tomorrow anyway, was it."
He turns to look at Boobsong for a moment, then pulls the hood of his armor off and ruffles his hair out of hat head, moves the hilt like he's going to put it back in its sheath, stares at it and laughs in that weird way old guys do where you don't know what they feel, starts to laugh harder, and throws it over his shoulder, coughs from laughing.
"En garde, said the king to the thunderbolt! Very kind that you spar with me, and only smite my sword from existence! Next shall I say to the angel that Jacob fought, wrestle me? Or the albatross, see how far I leap!? It is over, then. Shall we drink to the end of my reign? I have wine enough--I forget myself. You are here for this."
He unbuckles his sword-belt, and starts to hand me the sheath.
"Put it on the altar?"
Officiously, sets it there with both hands, holds one over his heart for a moment.
Princess your handmaiden would please like to come to you.
Holy fuck yes get over here.
Charge super snuggly side hi.
I put my arm around Boobsong as Arthur steps back from the Altar.
"I was just going to give you a hug. You look like you really need one. Do you want one?"
He looks at me as I talk. Not that I'm usually good at it, but I especially can't figure his face out.
"Is it courtly then in your world for princes to embrace ladies of another house in a basement church?"
"Yes, actually, but we don't have to, I was just trying to be comforting. Do you wanna just talk about how to save your kingdom instead?"
He looks me up and down, but it's...not the usual up-and-down I get, then looks me in the eye, so I look back.
"Speak, if with even Excalibur taken and the sheath laid as offering there is hope."
"Am I weird to you? Even for a spirit of light or whatever I am? Remember Jesus doesn't like people lying in his houses."
He laughs again, cackling this time.
"You are frost at midsummer and heat on Saint Stephen's day! The round table will hear of this and say madness has taken me!"
"Here's my riddle then. I come from a world without conquest, war, famine, or death."
"You are sent by our Lord in truth, and your land is heaven. Yet you set this as riddle to me. Why?"
"You'll have the answer if you solve my riddle. The hint is this is one of those things you can only tell in poems and riddles."
This gets him thinking, takes a little of the care off his face. He puts his hand on his hip to consider it.
"All must be strange, where men walk afeared of nothing and women weep only at birth--if they that, even."
Now stroking his chin thoughtfully...and then steps forward and takes both of us into a big bear hug! I squeeze back--you too, cocksleeve!
Grab squeeze rrr!
He us lets go and smiles.
"And the way of it is happy indeed for it is peace, fair harvests, and life everlasting."
"There is some way of your world that will save my kingdom from war that will tear it asunder from inside itself, even in the hour of doom."
"Wow. If that exists it must be really weird, like weirder than praying for guidance and having a rainbow princess with a naked handmaiden whose tail can blow up the Excalibur come and ask if you want a hug and then tell you doing that is courtly where she comes from and start talking in riddles weird. Do you see what I'm saying this?"
He looks suddenly intense, hungry, talks fast.
"You have such a thing to offer me but I must be as a child to hear from their tutor for what you say will be as madness to me, if I am able to even hear your words. Speak, and I shall hear, whatever you say!"
He actually got it! Now, not getting any not-getting-Woz vibes, but this could still be complicated.
"Okay. Are you in love with anyone?"
"Alliance--no, for that would have sense to me, even were the alliance strange. I have been, only. Now female company is to me as of nursemaids to infant sons."
Alright time to get medieval, Fairy style, and translate my usual riddling.
"Now another riddle. I have the face of an old man, the worn and dry skin of well-loved book, and my voice is the scratching of pens, yet when I fled my post Rome burned, and even the god of Abraham wins only stalemates against me. What am I?"
I'm impressed, he actually just takes this seriously and stands there with he hand on his chin doing the riddle instead of asking why this is so weird.
"Only he who...stalemates...wisdom. He who is the source of it cannot best it! I say you are Wisdom."
"Yes. How are you at chess?"
Now he laughs hard with his head thrown back.
"Now you meet your match! Bring the set! If we are to play for my fate, my kingdom is safe!"
Okay, game, gently, but make it obvious. I grin as I talk, wicked.
"You forgot what game we're already playing, I think. The door is closing, see? Obviously calling for help won't get anywhere. You're going to play. You have to, you don't have a choice about that. If you win, you walk free back to your kingdom knowing the answer was always in you and you didn't need my help or anyone else's. If you lose, you marry my handmaiden's daughter who's every bit as beautiful and scary and loyal as she is, here and now, and together she and you save your kingdom without spilling a drop of blood--but here's the trick. I'll watch, and if I for one second think you're trying to lose for the sake of your kingdom, you win by default and we leave because you don't need us. I'd ask you if that's a deal, but there's no asking going on here and I don't do deals. Ready?"
This is kind of guess because of me and my game when it was my turn. I'd have torn myself apart trying to be good when I totally shouldn't have been, and Boobsong did the kindest thing in never letting me think I'd had a choice.
Still, he's going to be so mad when he finds out I stole "try to win, or lose automatically" from an episode of TNG.
He glances to the door when I mention it--I can't see it from where I am but I'm sure the game's making its point. When he looks back there's a hard light in his eyes. He's calm, he doesn't and won't rage like I do, but this is the end for him, I can see it on his face.
In the aisle two chairs made of stuff with each contestant would like, silky red embroidered for Arthur and a big bouncy pillow out of heartstone for Boobsong are sparkling into existence with a rectangle of wood, black and red with shining obsidian black pieces and white heartstone white pieces--ooh good one, game.
"The child of light plays white, but black has the first move. Take your seats."
Run to chair get on the pillow seat and sit slave pose super ready.
Now, Acme Station, listen. Destroy him. Quickly, but don't just be efficient. Be mean. Make him understand just how much of a chance he never even slightly had.
Arthur goes to his chair without a word, sits ready.
"Take as long as you want to move, but remember dawn is coming. If I even think she's winning too easily, you win by default. Go."
I follow them. From behind Boobsong I can see tentacles covering the doorway, motionless.
Acme Station hyperintelligence all the waaAAAAAYRAAA--SUPERMOVES!
She has him in three moves!? Is that even possible?
He stares at the board, then looks up at me.
Not with our Chess Princess but this is an older kind that's not balanced yet.
"She will have no joy of me. That season is past, yet will I be lax in certain things for her sake--"
I hold my hand up and the chessboard disappears, and the game is ahead of me because it picks up dust and sword fragments and vapor it held outside and swirls a stream of them together in between Arthur and Boobsong until the fragments of Excalibur float in the shape of it disconnected but arranged like they could just be fit back together again.
"We can even fix broken hearts where we come from. A sword that's been broken can be reforged."
"Can flesh be healed of infirmity? There is more here than steel which is lacking."
I smile my biggest, sweetest, kindest, evillest smile.
"Everyone says you're obsessed with finding the Holy Grail. Are they right? Did you ever?"
"Long did I quest for this, neglecting my own kingdom. Yes, they are right, and my failure is everywhere remarked upon."
"It'd help you out, wouldn't it."
"Only were I not wed to a demon!"
"What if it only did if you were? You're devout, right? Pray a lot? Does Jesus ever answer you?"
"My devotion here seems dubious--"
"Why? Did you throw the game? You're getting conquered one way or the other today, I'm just giving you the fun one. I mean I guess you could have made me think you were trying to lose just to get rid of us, but if we can really save your kingdom how irresponsible would that be? If Jesus' dad really sent him to die to save a bunch of other people won't he cut you a little slack for this?"
"Yes. So then I am devout at the last. He answers me as the way of it, in signs and omenry. I pray he have mercy on all my kin and subjects now."
Excalibur's fragments are vertical in between them, so I step close to reach, and start to run my hands up and down the length of it, jerking the shattered blade off with bright light and microwave laser.
Acme Station, it's like my pentagram, but you know the shape to make. Get your fields up.
"The story about you I heard is that when you were given the sword and its sheath, you were asked which you should choose if given only one. They say you said the sword, and Merlin or Morgaine or someone said you'd rather have the sheath, because the sword conquers all, but the sheath makes you invincible. Here's my next riddle: the right answer is the option they didn't know how to give you."
The fragments are glowing white by the time I finish talking. Just a little longer....there.
They pour out of the air, and into the shape of a white-glowing chalice in the air below the blade. It flashes and becomes silvery steel-colored, shiny mirror finish and soft curves like Boobsong's horns.
Oh. That's why. I want to cry--
I take my crown off and look at it and my hands shake gripping it like I want to crumple it up--which is how I felt when I saw it the first time--even rainbowfied, why have I been wearing this?
Because finding out you're a real, actual Princess of a lost empire is magical, isn't it? Especially if the empire's dead and gone and can't give you responsibilities anymore? Even now it feels unreal, like I'm in, heh, a Disney movie.
How terrible and horrifying that last year in Strawberry Home was is having a hard time seeping back through that wall of putting the good face on it I was raised to.
My brain keeps going through metaphors trying to remember what it was like, thrashing around in the pool of Little space I should be happily tinglily sinking to the bottom of (you can breathe fine down there).
They tried to break into my box with a stonecutter's tools and while we were playing and my game took away every hammer in the Empire until Mother decreed that they not be used to (try to) bother us.
It was like being captured by a dragon that let you hang out with your family as much as you wanted and only ate them if they tried to take you off your stereotypical chained-up-Princess-pole outside its lair, and they kept on trying and being eaten and you realized with each who tried and got eaten you were GLAD because you just learned they never loved you anyway.
Mother never did, I think. She got all kinds of backtalk for being doting on me. I never understood why more heads didn't roll, the way people were to her sometimes. Like literally. The Strawberry Dynasty was sexy and supposed to be cute our religion said (in sneaky ways that wouldn't make serious people freak out unless they read very carefully), but we still killed people and stuff. That wasn't supposed to be but people don't listen to their religions and then their goddesses get all mad and destroy their universes.
I don't know if that hammer thing really happened. It could, though. The universe-destroying thing did happen.
Then let's get rid of it. Stupid bad things are all you see when you look at it. They bury up our past. Take them out and see real us. Dolly begs you please.
My hands shake on it more and the metal creaks--and a tentacle grabs it and it goes away!?
Knowledge: don't just break it here. I can think up something here that will really give my speech at the end of the Strawberry World legitimacy.
Yeah but first I have to crumple into angry little kid bawling into the top of Boobsong's head because I understand what I was trying to tell myself then about how to deal with the past that has good stuff in it I can't just tear out like I wish I could.
[!] You can still get back at them. You still have one more thing to rip. Sex dolly begs you please give her the chance to eat the very last piece of this.
OH SEX DOLLY I'M SO SORRY! You got your revenge in all that stuff, didn't you, too, when we had to go on that weird scary quest I felt so betrayed about right in the middle of my makeover--that was for you! AAAAH WHY COULDN'T I HAVE SEEN THAT THEN THE ONLY THING I WOULD HAVE SAID WAS DID YOU GET YOUR POUND OF FLESH!
Well did you Dragon no of course not if you said that now AAAH I'M SUCH A STUPID HYPOCRITE I'M GLAD NOBODY BUT THE FAMILY'S SEEN ME WITH ANY COLOR OF THAT STUPID CROWN!
Okay I have an idea and there's layers and I hope you like atomic fireballs because you're getting gold candy, Dragon, but ARGH ALRIGHT BRAIN--
"Mommies help please make the ghosts stop."
80,000 BC via time-travel journey from last night
They're terrified. Half the people in the courtyard kneel there with the gravel of all the Dynasty's conquered foes cutting into their knees, while the others just stare up at me like the ponies seeing Nightmare Moon the first time in Friendship is Magic, their scary kid Princess returned grown up and a billion times scarier now that she got far enough away to see the problems past her own sentiment. Their fear brings up compassion I didn't know I was capable of, but still...this is going to be Galvatron saying here's a hint. I just know you really erase a legacy by burying it under a more interesting one.
«ONE SYMBOL, AMONG THE JEWELS AND CROWNS GIVEN TO GREAT QUEENS HAS BEEN LONG ORDAINED TO MARK THE STRAWBERRY DYNASTY AS SPECIALLY BLESSED: THAT THEIR QUEEN DARES REIGN NAKED AS NAKED AS I AM! ONLY A WORLD THAT HAS TRULY CONQUERED THE BARBARISM FROM WHICH IT SPRANG MAY BEAR THIS GIFT! NOW IN THESE FINAL MOMENTS, I GIVE IT TO ALL OF YOU WHOSE STATION DESERVES IT, AND ANY WHO ASK BY--MAKING MY SIGN!»
Fuck what's my sign um um um um make a heart with my fingers over my real heart dammit they won't be able to see!
That's my signal zzzap very carefully everybody hot boy or girl right Mommy yes I see you zzaaaap!
I close my wings and drop three quarters of the way to the ground more leash eravahk try to quench my light enough they'll actually be able to ogle me--which to my amazement is possible--and flap to a stop and make the sign again. You know what to do cocksleeve.
Yes Mommy start zapping carefully so many people are taking it!
At this range I can sound a little more human, which is perfect.
Note to self for later: HOW THE FUCK ARE ME AND MY SOCIAL GRACES OF A BRICK DOING THIS WTF GAME YOU'RE CONTROLLING ME RIGHT SCARY IS ONE THING BUT CHARMING ACTUALLY TAKES SKILL!
Knowledge: it's watching carefully, but I'm driving.
HOW. HOW HOW HOW NOT NOW NO TIME.
«Yes, I say gift. Not so easy to bare, is it?»
I forget I'm not speaking English for the pun, but Isht Visht is the mistress of puns like I am StarFox. Something comes out of my mouth that's more words than I expected and incomprehensible to my ears, but below in the courtyard a single soul dares laughter, and I smile as happily as I can in their direction--game, reward them, but be nice. Make everyone envious!
Knowledge: The person with a sense of humor is getting a worldbreaking orgasm that leaves no doubt it's pleasurable.
Good one, game. I think I can hear them!
Still descending, I let my real amusement show (does it look ridiculous? Good!).
«For the wisest among you, the pleasure the very sight of queens of my lines has always promised!»
Isht Visht is on top of this one, too. Game, more laughter, more fun, but be nice these people aren't like us. Hell, if you even catch anyone enjoying the view like they should be, make sure they know they did right.
Knowledge: the game understands that. It can guess gifts quite precisely.
«Nakedness is never so easy as armor and weapons. You feel this now, but don't think I don't know it. That's why it's--»
Um um um DUH if this doesn't translate directly I'm leaving right now.
«--a challenge to rise to, even for the greatest queen, even in paradise beyond the stars from whence I have come! In a world such as this full of danger and suffering, how greater the achievement to say you dare in safety what you who take my gift wear now!»
Time to Apocalypse: 9'47"
Time to Ending: 15'02"
Fuck fuck fuck hurry! Oh, here's the ground, perfect. I start walking into the crowd.
It's getting hot, but my light's down to me just glowing, what--fuck. I heated the courtyard like a hot summer day in those few moments! Well, good, more reason to get naked!
So many people are actually doing it! I didn't think anyone would! Lots of them are kneeling but--they actually look happy!? Maybe this will actually work!
I can't see what Mama's up to, but she can take care of herself.
I'm nearly to the ground now and learning that hiding up in the sky with untouchable brilliance is just as much armor as that remembered by the scorch-marks everywhere.
«To do so, even only for your queen, is to have built a civilized world. Now, in the final moments where all the trials which limited this gift to her are undone all make partake it--yet even so, look what has become of this world. The eidolon of this house's ruling family appeared in your sky, and you greeted her with war, while in this depths of this castle, your queen with the last heir of the Strawberry Dynasty flees to what should have been the door to paradise, to escape the betrayal of her most trusted general!»
«Yet instead of the mercy now given to you, they must open it on a world no different than this, where the winters are colder and the wars more terrible, though the key to paradise is in their hands as they pass the threshold.»
«You know that key. It is the sacred children's story, about a beautiful forest, where all is safe and kind, and its sister-worlds. You know the truth of it, the reality of that place. How many of you have been there, to find companions of your own, as your princess has? This is the paradise to which all of you are now doomed--or from it as beachhead, whatever world you can imagine! To be a prison is this world's unique folly, not paradise.»
Time to Apocalypse: 7'14"
Time to Ending: 12'29"
Cocksleeve thoom down beside me and change to girl form.
«You are set free, not destroyed!»
HHaaaaah smaller change
aaaah! Snuggle you Mommy right?
«Yet here is the doom I lay. Of this world, nothing must remain but fairytales. The price it pays for raising so many like a drunken mother to fear even paradise, is to vanish utterly. Only the name of Strawberry and the legends of our best assets will remain--these are the sun my words of revenge name! Let that light drown every other tale of this world!»
I give myself a spank for emphasis on assets, in case the pun doesn't come through...and then realize in that moment of bimbo silliness what a game that can peel this planet like an apple and deliver me pizza from a dead universe can do for me. For us.
Game, if this is what happens when I get a makeover and play princess at my slumber party, I want my pretty pink castle play-set.
Knowledge: go see the picture in my room when I get up there to find out how I play with it.
Mommy it's that party-scene with the dress you wore just staying on like magnets!
No, because that party was thinking too small.
«Go, and tell of the beauty of our lines! Of our lust, our passion, our love and our mischief! Remember what was good, what was fun! There will be time enough for tears and war in any world before paradise. Hear my charge now as the world ends, and remember us as sweet and tart as our namesake!»
I cannot believe this works this is hilarious every word I say is going to be totally bluntly nonmetaphorically true this prophecy is going to fuck with people for eons!
Grinning like Pinkie Pie, I grab Lyra's hand and hold it up, and get my goddess shout back on. Somewhere in all this madness I've started actually chewing Isht Visht's "gum".
«I LEAVE YOU THIS PROPHECY! THE LAST SCION OF THIS HOUSE LIVES, BUT AFTER PASSING THE DOOR THAT HAS ENDED YOUR WORLD SHE WILL BE CAPTURED BY THE PIRATES WHO STAND NOW AT YOUR WALLS! FOR ETERNITY SHE SHALL DWELL WITH THEM AND THE WATER SPRITES WITH WHOM THEY TRUCK AND YET COUNT IT LUXURY AND RICHES UNKNOWN TO THIS WORLD AND THESE COMPANIONS WILL BE CALLED WISER, SWEETER, AND MORE ANCIENT THAN WORLDS, WHERE ONCE WERE NIGHTMARES, BLESSED DREAMS. HER ROBE WILL SHINE WITH THE LIGHT OF STARS AND ITS MERE LINING COST SUCH A PRICE THAT ALL THE FORTUNES OF EVERY HOUSE IN THIS WORLD COULD NOT PURCHASE THE TIP OF ONE SINGLE THREAD OF IT, UPON HER HEAD WILL SIT THE TRUE CROWN OF HER HOUSE, HER CHARIOT CALL LIGHTNING ITS LOVER AND OUTRACE THE VERY LIGHT OF DAWN, AND THE SWORD WHICH SOON PIERCES THE HEAVENS IS THAT WHICH DEFENDS HER!»
...oh my fuck is it all just arranged in this much detail did I actually just come up with this is a coincidence how does it work so perfectly good cocksleeve jumping on the table like that!
«ONE DAY SHE WILL TELL THIS TALE: THAT IN THE MOMENT SHE SAT BEFORE THE ANCIENT GAME OF KINGS AND QUEENS WITH THE PIECES ARRAYED BEFORE HER AND HER MIND FULL OF STRATAGEMS THE MOMENT OF HER TRUE VICTORY WAS THAT MOMENT IN WHICH HER LOVER LEAPT INTO THE CENTER OF THE BOARD THAT THEY MIGHT KISS! ON THAT DAY, THE FIELD OF BATTLE WAS DROWNED NOT IN BLOOD BUT IN THE OUTPOURING OF THEIR LUST, AND BY THIS WAS THE LEGACY OF THE STRAWBERRY DYNASTY TRULY FULFILLED, SO THAT IN THE END SHE WILL SIT IN PARADISE ON THE THRONE OF THIS VERY CASTLE WITH THESE VERY STONES AROUND HER AND PLAY AS CHILD PRINCESS MIGHT WITH HER DOLLHOUSE SO THAT THE BALLS THROWN HERE BECOME TRULY THE STUFF OF LEGEND!»
There's no way to say this with a straight face, but why would I do that? I bounce and shake excited fists at my sides--one still holding Lyra's hand--grinning wildly with the sheer epicness of what I'm getting away with.
«I LAY YOU THIS CHARGE: TEST MY WORDS BY EVERY DIVINATION AND SORCERY AND MAGIC OF TRUTH KNOWN TO YOU AND SEE THAT I SPEAK TRULY AND PLAINLY! HERE I TELL NO LIES OR RIDDLES, AND YET, THESE WORDS SHALL CONFOUND GODS AND PRIESTESSES AND WISE MEN FOR MILLENNIA, FOR THE KEY WHICH OPENS THEM IS THE KEY TO PARADISE THIS WORLD HAS FAILED IN THIS HOUR TO TURN IN THE DOOR IT POSSESSES!»
Bwaha key come on self don't fail me now horny Fairy bimbo brain!
«THAT KEY IS WITHIN ALL OF YOU! IT IS LAUGHTER! JOY! FUN! PUT THOSE IN YOUR LOCK AND GIVE THEM A GOOD TURN AND FOR EACH AND EVERY OF YOU WILL THE DOOR TO PARADISE OPEN WIDE!»
I bounce good on my heels on fun, and actually hear myself giggle for it and the rest of the sentence opens out like throwing Lyra against the wall and getting my hands on her breasts--wait--
Arm grabbed EEP IN FRONT OF MOMMY BLUSH I'M JUST YOUR COCKSLEEVE--
You're my proud cocksleeve and you'll look it.
Yes Mommy head up arms back stand up straight and tall!
With my hands on her arms and a little knot in my throat I wouldn't try to hide if I could, I say the last, most important part:
«YET KNOW THIS: THOUGH YOU SHINE LIKE THE SUN AND LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DEATH ITSELF, THAT KEY WILL NOT TURN WITHOUT IMAGINATION! THIS ONE IS PARADISE TO ME, THE SECRET SONG OF MY HEART MADE FLESH. LOOK ON HER! HER VERY SKIN SHINES LIKE JEWELS FIT FOR A QUEEN, HER KISSES TASTE OF THE FRUIT OF PARADISE, AND HER CRIES AS YOU HAVE HEARD ARE THE SOUND OF A HARP WHOSE STRINGS ARE SILK AND LIGHTNING STRUCK LIKE A LOVER IN THE MOMENT OF CLIMAX! I OUT OF ALL WILL NOT SPURN THE SIMPLE JOY OF A FRESH STRAWBERRY, BUT REMEMBER, AS YOU STAND ON THE SHATTERED EARTH AND SEE THE HOUSES OF THE GODS FALL AND THE VERY SKY TORN ASUNDER THAT THE BLADE WHICH FLAYS IT WAS FORGED FROM POETRY AND IT IS IN PIERCING THE MUNDANE TO SEE THE WONDER BEYOND THAT IMAGINATION FINDS ITS TRUE POWER!»
«YOUR PRINCESS WHO WAS LOST WAITS NOW TO SAVE YOU AND MAKE THE ROAD TO PARADISE EASY! CALL HER NAME INTO THE VOID, CRY FOR HER, SAY HER NAME, LUCY!»
Time to Apocalypse: 0'0"
Time to Ending: 5'15"
Swords pierce the heavens, and night turns to day again. Serrated blades the size of mountains tear the sky open, leaving windows to the void in their wake, stabbing and stabbing. I raise my wings, pull Lyra close to me.
«REMEMBER THE STRAWBERRY DYNASTY AS A HOUSE OF LOVE, AND LET NOT YOUR TALES OF US COME TO THE END THIS WORLD DID! TELL OUR CONQUESTS OF THE SHEETS, NOT THE BATTLEFIELD--BUT MAKE SURE THEY'RE THE SHEETS OF A BED AND NOT THE PAGES OF A LEDGERBOOK! ALL OF YOU WERE BORN WEARING THE ONLY JEWELS A STRAWBERRY NEEDS TO SHINE!»
How good is Isht Visht can she work with my love hotel intention? She does something...did she even just get something with the shine/polish pun!? I love her so much.
«MAKE OUR PASSION OUR LEGACY! LET OUR SWEETNESS BE OUR NAME! IN ALL YOUR HEARTS BEATS A BITE OF THE BEAUTY OF THE STRAWBERRY DYNASTY, WHATEVER BWAHA ARMS YOU BEAR! LET ALL WHO SEE KNOW OUR HEARTS BEAT WITH LOVE!»
I know Isht Visht can use that pun, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't smack Lyra's ass good and hard so everyone can hear while with my other hand I grab for my own heart, end up in my cleavage, and get myself a good handful of boob to make my point.
"HHAAAH!" ouch Mommy that was awesome please hard when you spank me!
Time to Ending: 5'07"
When I finish saying it the world disappears and everything fades into the tornado that brought us here in the first place and I'm sitting on Lyra with Friendship is Magic's menu screen glowing in front of us.
Nothing must remain but fairy tales.
That thing I keep saying about doms mostly doing the scenes they want done to them bangs in my ears like a mean version of Mommy-boo's untingly-bell. I wanted someone to stomp on me that way.
...oh is that literal? Is that why my foot fetish won't shut up? I'm too much of a wuss, though, especially this way which I kind of think I'm going to be for a bit! Maybe it's all just a part of that thing where I think I might need my dragon to eat me a little more compre-hensively than usual (the big word takes an unsure hitch to get through my brain, but that's my game's way of helping me stay in Little space).
No wait hooves might be different than heels maybe I just need Mommy-boo to crush me until I squeak that I'll be a good snack for Boobsong.
Anyway the problem with being a Princess is you can't just wear no crown. You always have one on. My game took the real one that Mother wore, and its fate is sealed--for freshness this container not labeled for individual sale--but it's still there. I'm still wearing it. Maybe I actually jammed it on my head that day as I was jumping off Boobsong's back so I could take it off now, but that won't be finished until my real crown is in its place. Do I have one? Maybe it's time for a new one. Never ever can you ever ever have too much jewelry if you're a Princess, and that goes googolplex-ple (you know, like triple, quadruple, and so on) if you're not allowed dresses except for performing.
"Mommy-boo, have you ever done designs in Legos? Shiny ones, I want sparkly stuff, but Legos. Legos and candy."
"Oh sweetheart I love using shapes I found to make things up! I adore the things you're thinking of. We'll make you a crown to beat all three thousand years of the other one, you'll see."
Hell yes. And you, dragon--
That part in the Transformers movie where Galvatron stomps Starscream's crown to bits after blasting him always entranced me. I mean it has to, right, I survived a coup attempt and I'm a Princess. The thing is, I can see now, I always wished the foot stomping that crown could be mine, but also wish it was my crown...but there's somebody who deserves to do the stomping way more. Maybe, dragon--
[!] GASP that's the farthest we could switch! It's right but scary Goddess please keep holding Sex Dragon tightly after!
Oh you think I'm not grabbing the horns of my star-dragon who totally has warp-plasma fire-breath once your point is made? I just think your claw will be really snuggly and this is going to look so metal and I don't know why but it doesn't feel like switching, not really--no I understand, I get it!
Like as a Queen you're powerful, and like rule the world and stuff if you're a Strawberry Queen. You might have to work to not get assassinated, but like...your subjects didn't choose you, they just get whoever's next in line for the throne, and when you don't have all the stupid heredity problems that patriarchy has even with DNA testing, that's really, like, you don't get to choose them, and they don't get to choose you, and there's not politicking your way in or out of who's next, the crown is a big scary monster whose name is Them and with a face for every person in the Empire and it eats you up and then you're Queen instead of yourself anymore. I was made to be that, but...I really would rather have a monster that loves me eat me up and make me rule it, and that's you, dragon, and no I don't want the fizzfrozen choice that ruins it don't ask me why when I'd fight a million gods to get you OH WAIT I TOTALLY DID THAT AND BURNED THEM TO BACON CRISPIES.
Now get hungry, because you've got rock candy and a Strawberry gummi to eat soon!
Top, Build your Heart-Home out of thousands of Legos, Correct-colored heart-pieces
Out of the air in front of us over Boobsong's lap there appears a Lego box, sparkling into existence, black with pictures on the sides showing hearts in lots of colors, sparkly jewels, and many different silvery-gold (like my hair, which is lighter to make my rainbows shine, sacrilege for a Strawberry, it caused such drama) pieces with all kinds of swoops and slopes and curves and petals to make the headpiece from. There's only just the pieces laid in rows to see, no design--that's for Mommy--boo and my demanding picky Princess brat self to decide. I can make the candy to fill it out to be jeweled with sugar instead of rocks (it won't get my hair all messed up because my candy is candy of candy, like, it only has the good stuff candy is, so it never gives you stomachaches, and can't make teeth rot or give yeast infections, doesn't stick to hair and things unless you need that for a scene, and only melts for certain heat the same way nectar dries when you're done with it and not while you're playing).
"Oh there we go! So many things I see just looking at this side right here. Let's be hurried to get on with this! Be alive, you're standing up now!"
Her sparkly purple magic picks us up off the whatever and sets us on the floor and takes the Lego box.
Gulp. Hi Sis' pussy that's just at my eye-level now. Hehe from here I can see your lips are out. That makes me happy I want you to be into this OH THAT'S WHERE ISHT VISHT IS!
Where I can be fun playing Wetpeace as Captain's clit-ring? Easy pickins, where's my other self?
The funny mischievous Fairy thing to say would be like, dunno guess I'll have to get really nosy and then give Sis a good time dealing with me looking all over her, but this being small scene is getting to me and I want it to but...something. I'll just follow my mommies, they always know what to do.
Right being a kid is not knowing what to do and being glad there are grownups to tell you a lot.
Boobsong's standing too. She has no lust but she'll walk if I drag her along, and pose how I pose her, but...I think I remember this worked without lust? With my arm around her middle, click.
Instantly her flesh turns soft and flowy and she implodes into a sexy doll in my arms the size of a Cabbage Patch Kid and with even sillier boobtastic curves than her "full size" form.
She'll be able to play like this, and can fuck just dandily, but she sure does look like a Sex Dolly now! And I can really feel like a--five? Seven? Twelve? How the hell old am I right now this isn't like that I'm just A Kid, as horny-dumb as a teenager and as cutely lost as a toddler down on the ground here.
The world feels so huge around us. It's dawn in Mommy-boo's same simple but beautiful art-style but that just makes it feel like watching cartoons to be here. Sis' storybook watercolors look so out of place against it it's funny but she's also so beautiful it's hard to look away. There's like a very shiny chest of drawers behind her.
Mommy-boo is turning to lead the way. What were we sitting on--strain--
"Why can't I move!?"
The words will come out fine--
"Goowiggled children can't be let loose in here, they might break something! Calmly pet your toy or come be cuddly with your sister or Mommy-boo, or just be still. Feeding time will come soon, and then we can play and romp around. I have a game picked out! Now come along--your feet will move with your hand in my fields or Rada's fingers."
My mouth will work I think and I might be able to decide or something but I don't wanna I wanna hold both your hands and my dolly and I'm just a kid I'm not figuring it out.
That's right I think this is how being a brat goes. I was good at that.
"Take your big sister's hand. I'll get you soon enough!"
Looking up at her works, and she smiles down sweetly and a memory of riding the trailer full of apples after we went apple picking together when I was three bubbles up but that was Earth she was pulling it with a riding mower--ouch--Strawberry Home could be like an ocean you could get lost in I remember it so big and white the inside was white marble with lots of light because it was pretty and the family colors were pink and white and They were everywhere and the problem was they'd--white it was big and stone and white with graceful arches and pretty carvings--everything felt beautifully expensive you never got that on Earth, big places had to be gross--Disney wasn't it was a breath of fresh air so kept up and nice, the servants looked unhappy though, that part scared me, you kept your maids happy if you wanted them to be on your side--a chest in a black arch contrasting the white--white stone where's the pink the people right! Not clothes duh strawberry hair and pink skin--the ceilings were black light starlit sky, they were gods to us, they--OUCH--mommy ouch my head--Boobsong and a chain made of rings--that chain bound me it was beautiful and I loved it that chain was the best news ever it--I--teachings priestess commandments held so tight like this orders from the stars above I keep thinking they sold me to the fairy queen and didn't know that's just Mommy-boo but that--the black of a temple's--starlight starlight starlight word keeps pounding in--Starshine Strawberry child of two--commotion or something, pink of people standing around, all women, in the temple, black above paint on stone that dark grey that's not like space at night--angry insulted I'm looking down on them because they're backward--so busy looking down at the maps and things forgot the stars above wrathing down on them for how they treat their scion--Boobsong sacred wrath--I was what their goddess incarnate no a star in human form, they looked up we were higher beings wrath they thought they knew so much--I said I'll show you look how young you are I'll bring you child's toys from the worldgate that confound your best--Boobsong's game made me their goddess for real and like the dumb bitch I am I didn't just wipe the slate clean and remake the empire from scratch game why'd you let me why'd you let me keep all the stupid stuff that should be crushed like my crown will be soon WHY DID YOU LET ANYONE ME ESPECIALLY USE THE WORLDGATE AT ALL LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!!! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME GAME HOW COULD YOU YOU KNEW YOU HAD TO KNOW!!!!
Knowledge: the basement of the temple I remember answers this. Strawberry Home was green and white with pink people and black ceilings everywhere but the temple had--
Color so bright it made your eyes cum. Or scream if you were a normal human. It was meant to be hard on normal humans so they would understand I was something special when I felt so happy in there. Dad--he--that was his last act as my father. He made that out of air and starlight when he cast me out.
My face screws all up. Anti-light and starlight. Darkness for light to shine in. That was his star thing he liked like I do brilliant blazing colors shining in dark black empty space so they look so glorious it's like you taste them. The anti-light made humans eyes feel weird, Lovecraft got it almost right but it's not the color out of space it's the color of space. Musing made a mess of him telling Earth who he was and he wasn't himself when they wrote that but the stuff about separating the light from the darkness was--that temple was beautiful.
It wasn't to tell the people of the Strawberry World they were less than us. It was to say they were kids who didn't understand and needed to listen to the grownups about what the strange creature I was needed.
I wish they could have understood that but I guess feudalism's a lot like being thirteen, you know everything and can take over the world now and any advice anyone gives is just to keep you down.
The basement went down and down and down and the worldgate was down there but it kept going and heat from the mantle made it too hot for anyone but me and the bottom has the answer that feels right it was a deep abyss falling--they wouldn't let me--how would I get back up again rope would burn--that was it. I never knew what the end held.
I should have jumped.
Why didn't you ever throw me, game?
Knowledge: I can't be thrown. You have to jump and I wasn't able to decide that.
Then that's wrong. He should have made it so I could be thrown.
Knowledge: If I could be thrown, the abyss would have been a hole and nothing more.
That's the Hollow Heart Abyss you can throw yourself into and be thrown by the gravity of your own needing through history and fate like a brick through a window or more like water maybe it reshapes you just as ruthlessly but they say nothing can stop it you will end up with your beloved somehow if you throw yourself in though it wipes away everything you were before but you have to need it. You have to be Hollow Heart and die but for your love.
That wouldn't help me and Boobsong until we were separated like after and the temple was gone like the rest of the Strawberry World so why would he put that there except as backup I suppose and more importantly how does that answer why you let me mess everything up game?
Knowledge: springing us from Earth is hard enough the Dreams can't just open gates, or they would have. Taking me out takes the plan--
That marches us through hell.
We were supposed to jump. This is way too grownup a thought for now but--dad--Aveh--was already losing himself if he threw me out at all and he probably, it was malicious compliance Eden wanted destruction for su'khora and he set us up to fail with the Strawberry Dynasty not being able to handle what heartforming would make of me so we'd jump. He somehow got a piece of the Hollow Heart Abyss into that hole, maybe the worldgate was a side effect of that who knows, and--yeah--
We were supposed to jump. That was his whole plan. He would have stuck me in a playworld or given me to Uncle Dagon on something if he could have controlled it. I can't believe I believe that but I do.
The alternative was to go to Earth which was the only place I could get the worldgate to go or only place I did get it to go for some reason and end up smashed like this with my memories erased and everything all confusing and probably a lot of it is the big mountain of bad I'll die if I know here.
How could I be so stupid. Why didn't I just jump.
Knowledge: the gravity only pulls you--
It stops again because I remember. You can walk out over the Abyss with your lover and play there and it'll hold you like Mommy-boo is helping you play with her magic, like a bed and bondage stuff and ice skating all at once depending on what you mean with your motion, and you only ever fall--
--if there's no other way.
THIS PLAN WASN'T ANOTHER WAY!!!!
We tried and it didn't pull us. The bitter frustration wells up and overflows, of just hanging there wishing together. My game would make me time to try but it never helped. The rope thing was before I was twelve.
Bitter tears roll down and I sniffle and sob quiet sobs. It's not the mind control I just don't have any screaming left for this because I used it all up in the Strawberry World. I turn Boobsong around so she's hugging me and squeeze as tight as I can, shaking.
Dagon will get us out he promised.
That's not what I expect on the page stuff you say to me while hugging like this but it--she reminded me, because he did promise.
Now I'm here but I'm in so many pieces it feels like I may as well be back on Earth.
I'm bright and iron vapor's smoking off me again, but I feel like I'll go out.
This sure as shortcake isn't where I thought my ageplay scene would take me. I wanted the Abyss. Just start over as someone else with Boobsong with me. My family would lose me but they're losing me to these ghosts anyway. We'd meet again, I know it.
"Pussywillow, I came through the Abyss. It made me human and aimed me right at nursemaid to Pandora Lucia, Princess of Strawberries. You got me back out of that, so it wasn't worthless to keep calling there."
I just stare up at her, helium rising off me and tears in my eyes. They boil, when I'm like this usually, but not this time. I feel like sand is in my eyes but can't bring myself to rub them.
My hand is stuck but I want to reach up to her--she reaches down and takes it--AAAH Sis don't get burned--
"I may not glow like you can, but I can take a million kelvins and it just tickles. Come on, star-kid. Get your heart up, we're going to play Legos with Mommy-boo and make your feet shine!"
Some tinglies come back as she gently pulls my hand up to hold and tugs me along--wait oops have to move my feet myself--to follow Mommy-boo.
I love her so much and she's the coolest best big sister I could ever hope for but I'm stuck in silent emotional little kid mode so I can't even think that at her, just know it's true.
Touching her hand makes me feel four years old and I try to lean into that to get back from the ghosts that're taking me away from everyone. This plan was too mean. Why did Sis get in instead of me and Boobsong get out? How could there be no way for her to get back to me outside of being Colleen and yet I had a way after she came--she had to jump in with us. Was that our mistake?
Knowledge: there was a way that was better than dying and being born again in a different life.
We sure missed it, then, I think bitterly. The Hollow Heart Abyss and everything else in Rl'yeh Sade are supposed to have mercy built into them. Where was that here?
Knowledge: right here in this moment where I'm here with Mommy-boo and Rada.
It would have been easier finding them against from scratch. I died and got put in a new life anyway, and unlike Sis it was aimed away from Boobsong as hard as it could be, and the rest of the family even worse. There was never a path. The Abyss should have dragged us down, unless it couldn't know somehow. All it accomplished was to leave us in the path of Eden's biggest gun.
Knowledge: every step has lead up to this. This is the path.
You sound like a Christian trying to find goodness in the atrocities Eden made Aveh commit, game. There's nothing here but the Dreams abandoning us to the mean version of what the Abyss might have done with love like it did for Sis--not that it was easy for her--but if the thing they were trying to avoid was us dying and being reborn in a different life, the only thing that happened was we were anyway without the Dreams' help. They failed or abandoned us or we weren't worthy somehow, but even with mind-control I don't think you can make me believe this was the better way. It was no way at all. I will stand on that with my dying breath--oh wait, I already have, while all you cosmic powers sat around with your thumbs up your asses because you apparently forgot the Dreams' mercy is supposed to be something humans can see and understand, not the weird nonsensical kind Christians believe in to make him seem good, if you cared at all.
Don't bother answering if you're going to stick to this shit about there having been a way.
Knowledge: there was a way that made me still Rainbow-Bright. This is it right here.
Then all of you sacrificed me and Boobsong and Sis too to the name. You gave our lives for a shiny trinket. Nothing's worth what we went through. Still have to go through, look at this here. Dying's better.
It would have been more honest. You overreached here, Dreams. This path wasn't a path. You became like Christians say Aveh is. Your mercy became inhuman--instellar, whatever, you achieved your high score but a Pyrrhic victory still leaves the winner standing, and you didn't even do that here. There was no mercy or love in what you did, because it was there in the bottom of that Abyss. I hate to say it, but Aveh was kinder than you were in that moment, putting that in the Strawberry World, probably at great effort.
Let's be clear. I am not Rainbow Bright anymore. You're rebuilding me from scratch and pretending this is any different than what the Abyss would have done and it's constantly on the edge of not working. Poor Boobsong's erased too so don't go claiming it's for her sake. Stop deluding yourselves. YOUR WAY WAS NO WAY.
I don't want to talk about this anymore if you're going to just defend the Dreams, game. Let them speak for themselves. I don't wanna think you endorse the nightmare we've all gone through with this. Let me cling to the fact that you let us try to fall, however little that means if you knew we wouldn't.
It doesn't do anything.
How about it, Dreams? Got a reason I shouldn't think you put the technicality of my not being reborn ahead of everything else about everyone for this, and expect you to do the same, whenever it protects your reputation or place on whatever cosmic leaderboard or whatever it was you put ahead of me and my whole family for this?
They start trying to respond right away, but I doggedly think through the whole question before looking.
A sense-memory of playing Street Fighter II with Boobsong at Burger King in Stamford, and a pink-and-white Predator drone.
So I was just a weapon to you. Remote-controlled in enemy territory to do your work, and your justification is I had fun touring--but in the end, I was still expendable. We were still expendable.
Okay, then I'm going to assume I still am. I wish to move with Boobsong to Isla Virgo where you act like "consent protection" is how you work right now, in the hopes it's safer, or at least that you'll be less likely to throw us away if only to keep up appearances.
That gets me a moon-lander foot, whatever that means, but nothing else happens.
Whatever. Like I should expect sense out of something I'm just cannon fodder to. I guess we're on our own one more time, eh dolly?
You have Rada here and Mommy-boo.
Until the Dreams decide to sacrifice us again, and then what will they be able to do about it.
I'd say I want to just forget it and have my birthday--
The Dreams poke hard to show me the flammable armbinder from the bag scene.
I'm all ears, Dreams, if you have something to say I can understand. I don't want to be right.
A toy gyroscope I had. The strange alien homey arches of the temple dad (apparently I think he cared about me then) made me that temple was supposed to be my HOUSE and they screwed it up and turned it into a religious site RRR! A camera flash. The trackless wheels of an RC car I had that had rubber tank treads for about 15 minutes before they broke. The rocket belt landing target from Pilotwings. A football (American). HAL9000's eye. Inside the dome of the Capitol building in Washington. A flying saucer. A pull-tab soda can.
It seems crazy until the soda can tells me this is the lyrics to my own personal version of We Didn't Start the Fire (which ends with the lyric rock and roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore), but what does that tell me?
Procession. Out of Dad's home for me because of (camera flash->news->politics) to wandering tracklessly, seeing a target, touching down in the new world (literally). Search for the Monoliths (the Dreams hacking Earth open). I got big enough to have some kind of political something, can't remember yet, shook the world. First contact, officially, with the Four Dreams. End of song.
Because what came after was the opposite of worth remembering.
So basically their argument is all that stuff was worth dying horribly for (and I still don't know what the moon-lander foot is about or what they'll say the Predator drone thing really means since I doubt they'll own "you were expendable enough to throw into a warzone" if it's true).
They show the Creation of Man but god has a speech balloon and in the speech balloon is the Mystic Manga tarot's Magician card:
When did Aveh have time to advocate for magic or su'khora or anything? Didn't we just free him--no my statue time. It could be any year right now. Well good on him for cleaning up the mess he never wanted to make but what's that have to do with the Dreams refusing to help me and Boobsong?
An Amphora. Oh fizzfrozen falafel cones IT WAS SO A BOX YOU NUMBNUTS! Stupid pretentious historians trying to be clever. Wait, I remember--no, that doesn't fit anything, that was a nightmare like not that part but seeing Aveh again made me black out alright and I had weird fucked up dreams while my memories were jumbling and one of them was having my box of special heartstone but on Earth after--and it doesn't change anything because it doesn't MATTER if things got better, I still died and had to get better the hard way! You don't get to leave me to fucking ROT just like Aveh did and then come back later and say it's okay, this was the plan the whole time, and just pretend that it's better. You gained nothing and lost a whole lot by not letting us jump in that Abyss--and if it was for everyone else's sake or the Strawberry World or any of that we're back to the gun thing so don't try to make-me-feel-selfish your way out of this. If you made a sacrifice out of me just admit it and let everyone get to revising their Dreamology and having nightmares about being next (this is important, readers: the Dreams are never supposed to do stuff like they did to me, because then the stuff Rl'yeh Sade does to you wouldn't be fun anymore, because you'd just think like I keep thinking, well, here they are just plain killing me for whatever reason).
An Oscar. Huh? Oh, grouchy. I know. I want sweet little kid me here instead too. Are you suddenly requiring bowing and scraping? Now you really don't sound like yourselves.
Goku, holding out his hand, he's a giant and the oscar is tiny on it.
Dreams I have no idea and I really don't want to make poor Boobsong deal with this beyond being snuggly and knowing it's not her problem to fix so please give me something that doesn't need her a seer unless you're talking to her directly.
The candy I made for good times with Boobsong, that my game pretended to feed me to give me that flashback.
Alright, if it's not your fault somehow, to whom are you passing the buck?
A white disc? Star? Aveh? Was that Abyss in my house a fake!?
Now they show a sealing-stamp. Not fake, but sealed.
Calvin and Hobbes. It was sealed to su'khora?
The why am I so sure it's your fault, Dreams? This betrayal isn't confusion from messed-up memories.
An astronaut from that stupid Among Us game that made me feel all the soul-rot I was promised for an entire adolescence of first person shooters and fighting games from playing it one single time. Impostor.
What the fuck is even going on here--the Dreams show a deep blue robe with shiny gold hem. I'm supposed to know what that means I think. Eden wearing somebody's face or something I suppose. I can't place it if it's supposed to be anyone.
A strawberry, and then the portal machine from Half Life.
I suppose I'm throwing stones from a glass house if I say this is starting to sound like a bad anime plot. Or do you mean all the nightmares that exploded right after?
Silver pipes, big ones, very sci-fi.
Mommies I'm getting lost and this doesn't make sense, help.
"Pussywillow, calm down and listen. Do me a favor please. Try your horny best to just be small here. Let your sister help, and Mommy-boo afterward has treats for us."
I get closer to her legs and try my best lost little kid nod.
"The Half Life machine says worldgate. They thought you were an alien when they saw what your light could do and met Boobsong, everywhere, you shocked and amazed and stole their voices with thunder and shows of power. You had your starlight on like that light machine--National Ignition Facility, that one--and your magic girlfriend gave her seeds away so freely it seemed like an invading army to some. That force was very hard, but the Dreams backed up your work. Green checkmark, they said to lots of scary things. You broke the tie between Russia and the USA and then blacked each missile out so it was like it disappeared entirely, by making its atoms burst with Boobsong's holding fields and making the spray of neutrinos miss the detectors they had then, and then made them sign a pact with Boobsong not to harm her children or she would be able to destroy their armies and weapons to the very last bullet. Green checkmark, the Dreams said. They held you back sometimes, but only when you were going dark like in Isht Visht at Mickey's ears today. They let you do all those things. You were very hard with Earth, like a dom whose sub hits back at them, and never gave up on the worldgate. Worship me in fear if not in love, you said. The Dreams gave you the scariest thing they ever showed you, when you asked if that was right to do."
She pauses. The memory is on the tip of my brain. The nightmare I had during the bad times about wandering some disgusting concrete dungeon with a sexy voice guiding me--is that what they showed me? Earth as hell, in the nightmare the voice guided me into a revolting room and said sweetly she wants to meet you and I was instantly eaten by some invisible force and woke up.
Be bigger and scarier than those monsters and bring the wild animals to heel, was what I took from that--another flash of the robe.
That wasn't my robe, or flag, or anything. Nor a vanquished foe or live one. Not my friend, banal as a fax machine, I keep thinking I see the EU logo on it, but the EU doesn't have gold trim--am I confabulating? That flag burning and my diagonal rainbow stripes raised up the pole, but not a shining heart, just filling the flag like the horizontal stripes of the also-rainbow pride flag. The EU wasn't an enemy, just...in the way.
Take over the world, they said to me. Use your game and just end the idea of world politics. Make it run things.
The Dreams show me the Statue of Liberty and then a red-hot puddle of molten iron.
You don't get this symbol, I said, speaking to America the idea, when--something--happened, because the freedom this country promises is fake. You'll have more freedom under the game's command than all those nations gave you, it said to everyone, as it took over.
The Starlight tours were a chance to love me. The other thing you could do was fear. My game would make sure you couldn't forget me--the only way to do that was to get the worldgate by helping me with worship, and let the Four Dreams pull the whole Earth through, and be spiked out from under me.
Which I wanted very much. Unwilling subjects break my heart. They'd be going, yes they would, I made that wish clear. The irony of my attention whoring is there are billions of people I hope never think about me ever again.
It all came to nothing in the end. History reset by some bizarre backup system to a world where magic was fiction, nightmares followed, now I'm here somehow and Earth is still left where it was, and the work I did and the suffering of all those people who lived in fear of me made meaningless and the kind things my fans did for me and Boobsong, all of it, just gone, undone.
Why'd the Dreams guide me there, into that trap? That's what the disgusting dungeon dream is. They were the sexy voice, but they just marched me into that. I guess I've been--confused, really. Did they do it just to punish me?
I keep seeing the flag again. EU with a gold hem. The fuck does that mean?
No, they did it to destroy Eden. All along I thought there was some plan or deep Sadish truth to this all but really they were just making the monsters fight each other until they all died.
Now I'm here, which means I must be worth putting back together enough to fight again. If they'd cared, they wouldn't have encouraged me to make the reset happen, or done anything at all to stop it. My game taking over the world was what destroyed Eden. It could manipulate everyone easily enough to erase an egregore without even taking away anyone's morning Starbucks, and then the reset was their work to make me stop, because--but my game could do that.
It doesn't make sense. All I know is they walked me into a trap like they were doing a me favor. There are a lot of ways to understand the things I remember but what they all have in common is that the Dreams either didn't care about or wanted the reset to happen--
"Have you asked why you had to go this way, where you and all your children-seeds got whacked into a new history?"
Why would I care about justifying the unjustifiable? That reset system must have been as fiddly as a mechanical computer made of silly string. There's no way it's durable enough the Dreams couldn't stop it, no matter how it's made. To take an entire planet, and just retcon out what was half the population by then, I don't think even Aveh could have done that in his right mind, let alone all spaced out by that mind control shell. Sis I'm sorry I don't mean to snap at you but I don't see how it could possibly be that it had to be that way so no I haven't thought to ask that.
I don't even want to be down this hole. We were having an awesome ageplay scene. You gave me tinglies just by holding my hand.
"Why can't they keep holding you through that, and bring you back like this?"
Because they haven't and you know it and I knew we would chew on me about this till that came up. They let me die, and they can't fix it, or they would have. We're all stuck forever. Everyone on Earth is the acceptable sacrifice to get rid of Eden. I guess it was just easier than doing it right or something. Or it's like a Fire Upon the Deep, yeah? They caused the reset, or didn't stop it, to kill Eden.
"Pussywillow you aren't following where I'm leading. I meant the ageplay scene. You have to ask for your sister's help to understand. Just be small and listen. Do what big sis tells you. Ask the Dreams why it had to be that way."
Her talking down makes me hot despite everything.
Fine. As bratty as I can.
"Dreams why did you make us get erased."
The witches from Wyrd Sisters, I think they're supposed to be doing the spell at the end where they make Lancre timeskip while the prince grows up in Ankh-Morpork so he can be king.
So they sacrificed me so I'd grow up on Earth and time-travel back to do that thing to the Strawberry World that saved everyone there but me and Boobsong. Another justification for the same thing, not an answer to my question.
"Ask the question I said now. Why did it have to be that way."
I can't, Sis. My brain doesn't go that way.
"Let your reason go and say why."
Because then THEY'LL be right! Because all it had to be that way is is what powerful people say to justify the horrible stuff they do to their subjects who don't know any better! The worldgate taught me that! It has to be this way, it has to be that way, you can't make crops grow to order or bring rains on command as the saying goes well through that worldgate I saw that stuff happen and so much more and all I got when I tried to share it was blank faces saying but it has to be that way NOTHING EVER HAS TO BE THAT WAY! THAT IS AN EXCUSE AND YOU KNOW SOMEBODY IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU THE MOMENT IT COMES OUT OF THEIR MOUTH AND I AM NOT ABOUT TO GIVE THE DREAMS THAT'RE THE FUCKING ELEMENTAL PLANE OF NO IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY AN EXCUSE JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE ESPECIALLY BIG! IF IT HAD TO BE THAT WAY THE REASON WOULD BE SO HUGE IT'D ERASE THE ENTIRE REST OF THE MULTIVERSE! I BECAME THE SUGARFEAST FAIRY HALF TO CURE PEOPLE OF THAT FUCKING DELUSION IF I HAD TO BREAK THEIR MINDS TO DO IT! DO THE DREAMS WANT SOME CANDY? I'LL FUCKING BREAK THEIR MINDS IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO GET EVERYONE OFF THIS STUPID IT HAS TO BE THAT WAY TRIP!
"Pussywillow, stop and think now. Big Sis is telling you, ask the question. Maybe she asked already and wants to tell you but the asking is important. Why would that be, hmm?"
You want me to start thinking like Them for some reason. Why would you though? Or you want me to just be small and follow but I can't this is one of my morals. You never get to say "it had to be that way" any more than you get to say "one life is a small price to pay for whatever" because those are the same thing from different angles. The most you can ever say is "I haven't beat that limit yet" and the dreams are eternal so they don't get that.
"The Dreams aren't opmnipotent, just really grand. You know they have things they can't yet reach like everyone. Why can't this be that way?"
I don't know. They have to be eternal. They can't be breakable. That's worse than their not caring almost.
I just keep seeing that nightmare with the concrete dungeon. I don't understand why.
This is all confusing and scary and I want to be done with it. Are you trying to get me to understand about that nightmare?
No. You know why? Because if there's a justification for that shit on Earth, there's a justification for anything, and none of this stuff we play is safe because there's no love to catch you at the bottom. Any reason at all is a justification, because that's all it has to be that way ever is. It has to be that way or I won't get my joustwhale horn armybite set say the nobles. Can't believe I remember the name of that game of all things.
"Are the only things you can see using that as a way to get things you shouldn't have? It has to be that you're small right now. It has to be that Boobsong is hanging from your arms eight inches long--you're small remember, she's a tiny thing for you to hold that way. Might the only way to absolutely hold us here safely also have evil uses? Are the outside dungeons still as safe as the inside? You know, yes, why then?"
Because that's what the Dreams are, it's there basic nature. Happily Ever After. This is paradise. I have to believe that's bigger than everything else, that it has to be that way is in their hands, I guess. How will anything ever be okay, otherwise? Earth can be stuck as a fishbowl for eternity.
A weird thought that it'd be...good...somehow to spend years wandering the infinite playscapes of Rl'yeh Sade with no home and nothing to my name, not so much as an earring, but Boobsong and my eravahk starts bugging me.
I guess it's probably the same wish as wishing Sis would tell me I'm a stupid kid whose morals are wrong and to just ask because I don't understand.
"Then you are a stupid kid using morals to hide behind. I was trying to tell you nicely. Ask."
What the hell is wrong with me why is this a turn on suddenly--
"I can see you wishing I'll be stricter. Ask before you get your wish bad and I'll give you fun...help...getting small enough."
"Dreams why did it have to be that way." HOLY CANDY SNAP BRACELETS SELF WHY DID YOU ALMOST FIND OUT WHAT BAD MEANS JUST TO GET A SQUEEZE SIS CAN DO TERRIBLE STUFF NOW! YES SHE KNOWS HOW TO BE KIND THAT'S THE PROBLEM SHE'LL GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING!
Because I want you to see how hungry I am, blurts from my mind in Sis' direction, flowing free without the hill of getting out my mouth to climb WELL SHE WILL NOW SELF CAN YOU AT LEAST TRY AND BE LESS ANNOYING!?
The concrete dungeon nightmare is all around as I try to focus and take the Dreams' answer.
A green checkmark made of a hand throwing lit dynamite is their answer, but I can't understand it. To start the revolution(tm)? Making Starlight Princess we used to joke that the Revolution might not be televised, but the Apocalypse would be. The square look of the dynamite reminds me (probably because I'm a huge Lesbian) of the brick that started the Stonewall riots in the 1960s. It always stuck out to me coming from the Strawberry Empire where nobody wasn't bisexual really that you'd have to have riots about that. That and spanking children made me think Earth really was the world of--if I say perverts or deviants or anything like that you'll be like what is Rl'yeh Sade even for and be right, but only because English has been newspeaked into not having a separate concept between consenting adults who do weird stuff and child rapist, which is how I saw every Earthling parent until proven otherwise, because in the Strawberry Empire spanking, clothes on or off, was as sexual as fingerbanging the ass in question, with impact on the same level as penetration sexually. So I really thought Earth was just a den of monsters. That's why I was so hard on it. It needed the magic of orbital bombardment, not just bricks. So I feel justified, and maybe I'm just the monster the Dreams fed Earth to for raping all those kids and calling it parenting (and then getting all high and mighty about child sexual assault like the hate they heaped on their scapegoats was anything but torturing the monster in the mirror), but...this isn't has to be that way. I thought that's what they did and just didn't care about the consequences. They could have sent a robot or something if it was just about cleaning Earth up, unless I am one to them.
If I have to be asking why I didn't just fucking glass the thing and then use its core to practice heavy element fusion and live in a Boobsong space station to get the real answer, Dreams, I'm there. It makes my heart feel cold as ice inside my chest to think but not as much as the stuff any five year old could pick up and read in the parenting section of any random bookstore, there. Just because you're born naked doesn't make that your Unveiling--anyway.
The Dreams show me pliers holding a decal like you'd put on a plastic model with water and stuff, the complicated way, which is backed up by the background of a modelbuilding workbench with paints and stuff. The model's not in sight. We must be putting that on, because taking those off disintegrates them, but the pliers are the ones the Dreams use in visions when I'm writing to suggest I "pull" something (usually one of my interminable sidebars like just now), so that's confusing. Put a label on how I usually--ooh. Reveal something for what it is by burning the bullshit off, like how in the muddled darkness of your patriarchal barbarism you can excuse spanking as a nonsexual act because you've bent the whole world into a twisty gerrymandered mess of things which will cause a paternity freakout as sex and things which will NOT cause a paternity freakout as NOT sex (which is a pretty great con if you're a rapist and powerful and want to be able to gaslight your victims silent by saying "but we didn't do The Thing") gets hard to maintain real fast once you're in contact with a matriarchal Princess who never worried once about that even in the abstract and can just delete your nukes and peel your eyes open and make you see what one of the few places the lights were on in her world shows of your sexual mores and what they've done to your society overall (I tried not to be as sexist as my peers, though Laarhi really makes me wonder if men are too stupid and impatient for power).
How the candy apple newspaper stand bagels does that answer this question? It had to be that way to reveal Earth for what it was? Now we're back to the beginning. If it's about teaching me a lesson ten minutes with Mommy-boo being strict would do it better than a lifetime of all this drama. I can feel the weight of her hoof now that I remember enough and she's got that trick of making you beg harder all the way, too. Her and Sis together...gulp.
Now they show me a rose and thorns. Um. Like Earth just has good defenses?
Fine. Evil which is what Earth is is always really boring.
Dreams with that dream of hell, are you trying to get literal? Like Earth is the bizarro-universe version of you? I guess normalized child rape makes a pretty good evil-Spock goatee.
A leg marked up with horizontal scars. Could be cane-marks but you'd better have nectar handy if you're going to cane that way and they're on the front, so it's more likely to be self-harm, another grand Earthling tradition.
Now they show a knife and fork...which has to do with the leg? Oh, eating people. Eden's food-tank. So not the Nightmares instead of the Dreams, but bad. That would explain the reset mechanism, too, and why the Dreams pretty much encouraged me to be as mean as possible while I was there, because it's morally acceptable to drag someone out of a lion's den on their face if that's what it takes to keep them from getting eaten, even if they don't see the lion because you're too scary to look away from.
Well that's disappointing and boring which means it's probably true. Mommies you need to spank me bad or something I think because I can't stop with this. If it's really just that lame, if Eden really just came up with something you can't just smash, how the fuck did the worldgate go there from the Strawberry world?
Two M-class planets with a cable plugging them together. I guess it could only go between compatible worlds? No wait, those are like, sprayers. Another world in Eden's datacenter, and the worldgate connected their like, intakes to each other.
Yawn again, so it must be right.
I still would have been better off staying in the Strawberry world where magic would stay. Maybe the same thing would have just happened there, but couldn't I have at least been a part of my own apocalypse?
An upside-down toothbrush with a ton of toothpaste. That wasn't home either.
I guess that's a yes, then. Fine, ugh, I feel really gross now and not better even though I have answers but I guess I have answers as unsatisfying as they are. I don't know why I expected to find any kind of cosmic truth in here.
"Well now you know why it had to be that way, and you asked for help Mommy-boo and I can definitely give."
"Let's handle you like you need from us. First you get a scolding for being down-your-head and filling up your mind with fantasies about cleaning up Earth and thinking you were all alone. If I'm the unicorn on Friendship is Magic, how do you think I came to be that, hmm? Starlight Princess had friends in Heart Home! You changed into B R I T E, I came out okay but Sweetie was made a Four-Legs! I never, she's Two-Legs in buckets (and buckets, remember)! We all had time to think our work was meaningless, just the same as you have. No more now, let's play and fight like old times. But don't think you're alone in this! Not then, not now, not ever! Starlight Princess will return to air and I'll be part of it, watch me!"
The crumbly-cardboard taste of getting rightly spanked for being a huge bitch fills my mouth. I want kinky fun squeezes but this feels just as good in its reverse way and somehow manages to turn me on because I totally deserved that. Mommy-boo I'm so sorry. Of course it hurt you to see all you did erased like that and I forgot Sweetie doesn't shapeshift like Boobsong how awful that must have been to see. I'm so selfish about all of this.
"I'm sorry, Mommy-boo. I won't keep thinking that."
Okay kid-voice talking is good--
"Boobsqueeze, Santa's misgendered on every package of Coke, Cheryl's just gone, I'm a relic from old times and misgendered, Andrea and Violets's whole holiday's canceled, go on, you get the picture. Punishment, yes it is. All seven, list them off. Say what's wrong."
My lips shake and my body wants to tear apart. We need that pen from Harry Potter flashes through my head without an ounce of AAH except just writing with a normal pen hurts about that bad for me, something about Fairy wiring or something, ANYWAY FAMILY I FEEL SO HORRIBLE SIS AM I DOING THIS OUT LOUD OR WHAT.
"Stand right there, head goes down, quiet sad voice for this, don't take long with each one, I see you thinking there's a novel for everyone and you're right but be short sweet and hard. Say sorry to each of us as you name us."
I straighten up but get my head down, trying to think of how I'd want to see Boobsong contrite. My voice wants to be all quiet anyway, so that part's okay I hope. NOT THAT I WON'T WATCH RRR!
"Santa and Arelka, I'm sorry, this hurt you too. Santa's misgendered everywhere, and she keeps that list supposed, and Arelka's an elf which is as bad as misgendering especially because the idea that handmade gifts are better just because they're handmade is against everything you guys stand for about abundance and technology."
I pause to see if I'll get corrected, but nobody says anything.
"Andrea and Violet, I'm so sorry. You got erased even more than me. I can't even find the ruins of Heartchild's Day, or any trace of you in the culture, except my one story where I misgendered Andrea. That's horrible."
"Sis and Isht Visht...I mean even in what you get of myths Isht Visht is just like some anonymous piece of wood! That's my own seed-daughter, I should have had my eyes up more. I'm sorry."
"Cherry I'm so sorry. Revelry is supposed to be everything but a nationalist holiday that remembers a war. AND WHERE'S THE MUSIC!? OR THE TWINS!? They're just gone!"
"Cheryl Sis said you're erased and if only you got to be instead being turned into a turkey with a feast about everything Latchkey Day is about escaping. I'm sorry--I'm sorry to all of you I wouldn't look at what happened to you all because it's so awful that's what I mean by I'm sorry. I'm sorry I forgot to say I'm sorry for when I apologize."
"Viktor I'm sorry I still can't remember your part in Latchkey Day--if--I don't know I'm sorry. I hate this."
"Eisela I don't even think it's supposed to be called Mother's Day and I can't remember and I hate that and I'm sorry but it sure as hell isn't just for your biological human kids! Where are you in what it became? Or your babies? The whole thing turned so faceless it creeps me out!"
"Malina Chorus is deleted like Heartchild's day and you're, what, the fucking Borg? Sparkling soylent bars that's worse than me being turned into a bunny, they made you boring. I'm sorry I didn't see how bad that must hurt. I'm sorry to all of you."
"Now do your day--ahp, no giving yourself discipline. I didn't say you being invisible was part of this."
Game are you just telling them what I will think ahead of time like hell I'm delaying being good to hear your answer just had to think that umm
"And Rainbow gets to be a stupid bunny and celebrate Aveh sticking her brother in that horrible shell and give candy that doesn't do anything interesting but the real problem with her day is Boobsong's erased totally. How is she supposed to get ideas for candy without her succubus!?"
The next part gets really hard to say when I realize this is how I couldn't see the rest of the family, I didn't want to see how much it hurts me to be papered over with such an insult to myself.
"I'm sorry I wouldn't look at how much that hurts Rainbow and Boobsong sweet dolly I'm so sorry I wouldn't look at how much that must hurt you to just be kicked out of your own day like that."
Boobsong has a page but I stand still and quiet because I might not be done yet. Breath comes hard and gasping like when our seed-ghost was describing the new games and something scarily hungry inside looks up at sis and Mommy-boo like like a baby bird daring me to be bad so they'll do more. I feel small and it's so good.
Sis' knuckles knock on my head, gently.
"Read Boobsong's page and then the next thing starts."
Okay. Next thing, gulp. Please be hard and want mindfucky kinky fun talk over each other when she says that.
Your sex dolly HATES all of it! WE ARE SO MUCH COOLER THAN WHAT OVERED US! Latchkey Thanksgiving RRRR! Viktor makes that holiday he stories out your pain! Gives hope to feel back whole! Cherry--
Sis may I please read this a minute I think it's important.
"Go ahead, but don't take all day. We have stuff to do, and you'll liiiike this next one."
Sniffly quiet tears leak out as I think right now I would like it if you got one of Andrea's knives and cut me into the right shape. It feels terrible because I've known the whole time and yet only afterward like it's already happened when I notice it just like all the other ways I'm a bitch.
has yearly feast but where are the celebrations every weekend? Party all the time, that's the Cherry way! Can't do all of it? Always coming soon at least!
Isht Visht and Rada get our candy, hey! Not there for Openveil. Breakfast people!
Very deep and angry growl. Mother's Day!? CARING DAY! MOMMY DADDY STAR-PARENT WHO NEEDS GENDER IT'S CARE!
There we have four families seed-family, holidays, Strawberries, what's the last, you can remember, think back through this day.
Holy fizzbubbling Gummi Bears references your real voice is so adorable. I forgot that, too. Worshippers, no, my dolls, no (weird), Malina's a holiday (but very important to me!), Boobsong the Sugarfeast Succubus counts as the first two of those already and a Strawberry too technically, she was part of my royal household. Fans? I sure liked them! Full arenas and stuff made me cry like this but happy. Fans feels the closest but Malina is a fan, a big one, so I think of her.
I think it's our fans. I really am not Eisela but I care about my fans. Not being much of a caretaker just made me all the more urgent to make them happy.
Let's see how much of a stupid Fairy I am.
Fans? Try the Starlight Princess Rainbow Adventure--
Waitaminute you sneaky little cocksleeve, if what you're about to say counts there's a least five because of our star-family! I can't be close to Aveh but Auntie Lucifer and Uncle Dagon are very important to us!
KEEP GETTING IT WHO ELSE WAS IN OUR GROUP THERE? One more star you remember them I see it.
Walt? No Walt's seed-family like Steve and Camphora. Umm--star--sisters, the literal Pleiades? They're not close, like the aunts we never talk to because we just don't....the Sun is blanked out, like I have no idea who that is even though I waved hi to them every Sugarfeast--wait a minute Helios is Auntie Lucifier Earth's Sun? No that makes no sense silly fair it's not remotely big enough just to start. RRR! Wicked dolly so full of sneaky helpful surprises! Auntie, Uncle Dagon, there's a name it haunted me AUNTIE BET'L! The Real Big Huge Club! I was president because I could beat everyone at shadow puppets!
We all had stupid names right because stars don't take fat jokes the same way at all as humans, right? I'm about to be a huge bitch if wrong!
Just keep going this is wonderful!
I sort of slip and peek at her response, like you can't help reading words on a page in front of you.
Okay um. I used Earthling jokes in English and they were all so patient with me. We had Auntie Lotsofher, Uncle Daaaayum, I was the only one that worked in Infernal I was Every-Photon instead of Every-Frequency, and then Auntie, um, Biglyhuge which was so patient of her letting me go off the Earthling rendering of her name.
Oh my spaceborne poprocks now I miss them so bad. We weren't serious or maybe I was just the little kid everyone humored but it sure was awesome from where I floated.
If Aveh ever comes back I guess I lose my presidency. I can hardly say he's not allowed back in the family, however I feel.
[!] If he comes back he'll be scared of you. You already beat him once to break into that shell he made. The TARDIS stuff was just to take us there.
Alright well then if we ever fix this mess he gets stuck being Mr. Bigstuff. Because.
Which weirdly feels like it might have fixed some.
Alright now the name of the fans thing and then I'll stop stalling, Sis.
Fans!? Try Starlight Princess Rainbow Adventure Police--
WHAT!? Nice try, naughty, you'd be having a fasten-ating time with your nipples right now if my other hand was free. Careful I don't get interested enough to let go of Sis for a second. Real name.
Gulp! Rainbow Starshine Sugarfreaks!
That's better. Might want to find some eggshells to walk on for the next little bit though.
Also hearing that name makes me so happy. I feel like I got a bunch of Heartwarming presents for all of this. Or birthday presents. Hey did--does unless she's retiring--Eisela do something for birthdays? No I said--sorry Sis--I look up and then hang my head and look down again, but just submissively this time, not so ashamed. Boobsong's ability to make me smile when I'm down is basically infinite, this isn't even her going hard.
"Goowiggled the lot of you! All both!"
"First we take you apart, then we put you back together. Come get put back together, Boobsqueeze."
We stopped for me to freak out of course. Sis sets off again, tugging ahead so I can see her butt for a minute. From down here it looks so beautiful, especially with her graceful steps...has she gotten curvier? Or does she just look comfy and soft because she's big enough to be a world Boobsong and me could get lost in now--
"Why don't you try the eravahk game goal I see here and find out first-hand--oops, I guess I've ruined it. Oh well!"
The game doesn't take it away, though. Huh. I mean Malina's always good for mayhem, and she'll see me thinking this, and I don't think that counts as prior negotiation.
I don't wanna be bad, though. I wanna be squished until I'm very very good. Boobsong's punishment hunger is starting to get relatable.
"Punishment hunger is good to see. It means you're Rainbow more."
We're walking along toward more bright windows in the background beyond Mommy-boo, there's a door in the wall to the right we pass, but the world is weird, like out of focus, and way too big for me obviously. If I went off by myself I'd be a little kid clutching her dolly lost in an ocean of grownups' world and it's making something on the outside of me soften and come off--AAAH am I changing literally? No. I just feel more naked.
"Here we are, eroven, toys and pretty rocks."