10 - Hymn One
Now let's play Spin The Lens already! Sorry I'm so distractible. You guys are all too much fun.
"Well first we have to get you tied up. This won't hurt a bit."
Aww--very soooft ooh hehe tickly what is that oh my fizzfrozen rainbow sprinkle Hershey pies that's tinsel bwaha except soft and snuggly not scratchy. Mama's controlling it with a button on Isht Visht's console where she's appeared at the fireside, and looking at me like a cake she'll eat soon she sends it spiralling up my legs to clamp them together and follow the creases of my thighs where my hips start to make a bikini that holds my balls tight to the end of my clit and around my soft hips up over and back to invade my ass but instead of going into my hole it wraps around and joins the stuff on my balls. The tinsel is strong I guess because my legs are immobile and I can't stretch it. The spiral should be weak as bondage goes, fidget, nope. Something is holding it in place.
The moment that stops, filaments so tiny I can't really see them just feel them invading everything from my waist down pass through my skin and into my body. It feels like the tickly soft of the tinsel is filling up every part of me with the same kind of erotic enclosure as the tinsel, and when my bottom half is invaded entirely something explodes all at once through every part of it and my very last thought as I pass out is wait stop I have to wind Sex first--
When my eyes open again there's a crash and a sound like huge high tension wires arcing--sweet! I'm shockproof as part of my star-thing (fusion ignites near my body when I get hot enough, and makes eddy currents you wouldn't believe) so it's about time we got some cool fun out of that. Electricity usually hurts, but not me. It just feels all warm and tickly, like the tinsel, so what did I pass out from?
Aw fizzbopping snarglepets the family will have totally seen me wondering if they turned me into a mermaid (feels not kinky enough for now but totally fun later, Boobsong doesn't need air remember) or Ponified me (which I was shockingly heh curious about).
Down from my waist to my feet, my body is as hard as the plastic that surrounds every part of me with the perfect hold of being poured there while I was unconscious. Boobsong is held in the plastic with her face in my breasts and her body against me. I can't look away from her head's top, but who cares?
If I'm poured in this plastic, how did my eyes move? They're entirely frozen, can't even roll them, so the plastic came with the electricity, which is gone. Why did they knock me out?
I really feel like a sex doll, wrapped in a plastic display box, but isn't the part that should be soft below my waist? My heart isn't stopped, and my passage feels empty, and my game has been filling my lungs with fresh air every so often (I can feel this, as the air in them gets full of strangling hot bad stuff and suddenly feels cold and fresh again, every couple of seconds). How can we play Spin the Lens this way? Maybe we won't, yet. There seem to be lots of detours on the way to it for some reason.
And a lot of this statue stuff. Not that I mind, but sheesh, how far can you take one fetish without variety. I'm excited anyway. I know whatever they did here is interesting.
Something ticks down one step when I think that. Odd...oh I see. Trust our family to being doing whatever weird scary thing this is now with love and to give me a happy birthday or just have their fun with me and to know how I feel about them and being there aboard Isht Visht and wanting to be exploring and Sex and more fun with Boobsong with them all around and treat me with love and not keep me in some sad prison even if they lock me up powerless this way without even safewords.
Do that and like the timer ticks or something and the next part happens.
I guess not? I know whatever they did here was from their love for me.
Tick down. Softness extends down my body a little bit. Okay, so I have to say a new part. And I suppose freaking--
"Mom you're a freak. Don't freak out. I see what you thought there, what if I make it harden all of me. Be hard the other way!"
Her voice in my ears comes from all around, like in headphones. Okay, kiddo, but like, giant towering statue fetish apparently. Get it.
"Aaaah! Mom that was terrible. Too long without saying stuff make it climb up again."
Statue hardness climbs up a bit more than it's been yet. I know this is to help me somehow.
Down again, but not very far.
Something inside me says it would be bad to even ask what happens if it gets up all the way, so I keep going.
I know this is going to a sexy time with Boobsong and the family.
Tick down. Just hits my belly button.
I know they want me to be happy.
No change. Has to be about the scene then um I know it won't be long until I'm back with them if we've left at all.
Tick down. Hot, each time I say something it likes a little pang of arousal flows up my ass like it's fucking me without moving.
I know they tied me up like this because they could see how I seem to be starving for all this statue stuff, and I know this is fun for them or they would help me another way.
Something feels warmly expanding inside of me, and the statufied part ticks down so my hips are unfrozen to the deep hollow above my ass.
That was way more than the others. It likes combos, I bet. That's how I would do this. I know they have good things in store for me and this is the way to get them, and that they see my terror about how I seem to only have dominance in me when they do something like Malina pinching my nipples or giving me to Sex for Heartwarming and how I'm so scared that means that Boobsong's a toy just to pacify me for not being able to accept my true nature and even if that was true I know they would support our relationship anyway and give me lots of domination so I could enjoy her constantly like my heart cries out for and then falls flat and lifeless for reasons I can't see and that either this is a part of that or it's to help me get past whatever is happening that makes me so scared of this and that if my desire to get peeled open and tied up and had fun with by all of them is temporary the way it is right now they'll still have fun with it and make me feel good by getting the most out of it even as they help me heal.
The expanding whatever it is fills my whole chest and warms up inside of me and the statufied part drops past my hips to just past my balls and I squirm in the plastic feeling how tight it holds happily. It's good to be able to move, that's how you enjoy this one. WIGGLE.
Um. They're trying to help me enjoy myself and feel the awesome helpless freedom of just being wrapped up this way, and give me the helpless pleasure of being a tray of treats they just pick from and do it so I don't freeze up from being scared I won't have Boobsong her like this through everything, and they did this this way with her here because they know even a few minutes without her to hand would break my heart totally and understand that we're a unit as much as having her tail down my throat as Sex's dolls makes us and if they're trying to do anything to my relationship with her it's help knit us back together after we got really badly hurt being pulled apart.
Warmth floods me from my heart to my calves and the statufied part sinks to where the warmth stops.
I know this scene is supposed to give me a hard stretch and make me reach for this last part and dig down deep to see how excited they are to have Boobsong and me back again and that the crying softness I feel saying that and part of me that wants to curl up inside and say they can't possibly and just pretend the things they do and say don't mean anything is wrong and that they really are so interested to see me my game let them read my whole mind and that when Cheryl sees me think this realizing she was totally trolling me before because I don't think either my bikini preferences or clothing rules if I have any clothing rules beyond "nope" have ever been secret she have a good silly teasing laugh at me and then make with the real violation because she would never tease like that and not follow through because she knows me enough to know I would desperately want to provide some real fun and what she did was just the first part of it and that she won't use the stuff she learns as a weapon, just an eravahk maybe and that that's just how this family is to me and that the me they want back so badly is the one who comes with Boobsong and is this weird starlight freak not the other girl the other They in my life ignored me in favor of.
Tick down off my feet and hugs that feel like a million volts of love wrap me and Boobsong so tight I still can't breathe and my game has to keep going with the air thing.
I'm standing with all of them, but all I can feel is their hugging me. It holds us so tight my feet are off the ground, which is good because I'm still in the splints.
Tears would explode and tear me apart, but they're holding me together and Boobsong is crushed against me where she's supposed to be.
There's a sound of something cranked like a windup toy, which had better not be Sex, but I know it won't be. It just keeps going, continuous, more like a winch on a sailboat or something like that, in a rhythm like it's hand cranked--sailcloth sounds rustley like the dresses in the Story of O--OOH! Kiteship mode? No, that's like, sail cloth and it sounds all rayon, not like Isht Visht's kites. I can like see the white fiberglass deck and aluminum mast and white sail with its polyester lines in my mind's eye.
"Mom let's be clear: you guys are our seed-mothers. Do you think we don't know how seeds get made? You guys you guyS with that S there that's how we got here. We don't know any other kind of you."
Cheryl's right about that guide because this is not the time to go into how seeds get made.
The family give enough space to breath, but keep hugging us. I feel a little like a milkshake with however many straws (Malina makes counting pointless) but that's awesome, this is filling me up not draining, my heart feels--okay that's not possible this feels like worship from all of them it's sure pouring in fast enough but I'm the family clown and kid and yes look at me about Boobsong, that can be so beloved you'd die for it a million times a second for eternity but it doesn't mean they worship you.
Knowledge: worship is just a way to express your love that holds up what you worship as special, irreplaceable, worthy of praise.
"There's a Princess in all of us, that's why you brought us together. Show me that as a kid lost on a raft with not even her gender on and yes, I'll look up to you."
Oh fuck that was horrible, thinking I was a boy and looking like one. I can't believe it took me so long to let Boobsong's nectar change me back. Transforming was hot, at least, and I was so happy to see my boobs burst out like that even with all my memories of being a girl gone--MAMA I LOVE YOU but how can--you're Charon just to start with--
"Don't you get back in that coldness, pussywillow. Let your family adore you."
As long as nobody sings any songs starting with O come let us AUGH BRAIN!!! No it's okay they understand that's the whole point of this they might be that embarrassing to say something they mean and watch me turn Strawberry for real but not with that song with them knowing about dad and my brother and stuff.
Wait, aside from saying I trust my family to know me well enough to humiliate me down into a blushy little embarrassed puddle like I seem to be constantly horny for but not be cruel and use stuff like that and know what that is for me, why does saying that feel like my heart's warming some more? Maybe it's just the trust.
"You see what we all have for a while, that your family of origin is closed by your father's sins, whatever his part in them."
"Cumsquish, I'm going to keep going. To be holding you right now makes me feel dynamite. There's a lot of good stuff here in your noggin. Remember you held the key to a prophecy nobody understood for eighty thousand years and one day just poof solved in minutes because your fun was how it broke. You are the key, you silly goose, I see what you're thinking there. It only worked out for us because you had the stupid fun that made it so clear. Who makes a Transformers reference when the angel of the apocalypse is staring her down? Rainbow, obviously! Who makes such silly jokes a game that picks up whole castles for dollhouses just says that was a silly as it could be when you ask why it didn't help you play harder? Starlight Princess jumping down one of her sexy holes! There isn't anyone else I'd have on my bridge as it exploded and my heart stopped, except my heartchild, and look who she's made by--don't go getting technical with me, bucko. You understood me just fine. Get yourself up a nice worship feast."
Even after all of this her words fall on me like cracked ground, pooling on the surface that should absorb them...and running into the cracks, too. Taking the adoration feels like more frostbite thawing, on top of its own hot feeling inside me.
The family's grips' shift, hands grip my upper arms (they're tied back somehow, I was too busy being hugged to notice before) while others keep Boobsong in place (she's snuggling like a sleeping kid all folded up instead of wrapped around me), and there's a sound of a big heavy zipper and more sailcloth.
Oh hey, I'm not statufied. I bring my head up to look around as the family shifts around me, struggle to feel what my bondage is. Some kind of armbinder, feels like it's made of that nice silky-hard sailcloth the sound's making me see in my head, my legs are still bound together in the tinsel I guess because they're bare to my family's touch, and Santa's big sexy face blocks my view of our location if I look up past Boobsong. She smiles mischievously. She and Malina are who's keeping Boobsong where she goes, while the others stead and hold me. I'm impressed enough of them fit to be as many hands as I feel, Malina or no, but it's nice.
It's somehow enough just to have Boobsong here snuggling, like...I guess they got me to let this be about me right now.
Santa's face (and breasts) move like she's walking...I'm being backed up? What could that zipper be? Sleepsack or something? Sailcloth is a fun texture but that same sad dry feeling tells me I'm not thinking kinky enough to guess this scene. They probably made sure I won't anyway, they won't let this be boring, oh no.
It sure does make a girl think, though, what could that cranking be...
When I try to look up past Santa's head, she tips my head down again, and smiles, shaking her head at my naughtiness, and I get the idea she'd wag a finger if her hand didn't have to go right back to support Boobsong.
Now Santa moves to keep Boobsong on me as a chair comes up behind me and my legs are adjusted so I'm sitting in it. She still keeps my vision full of her face, and I expect Malina would jump to keep me from seeing if I tried to look around Santa.
The chair has a comfy seat, like a low cushion, silky, nothing touches my legs or arms so this could be a floating platform for all I know but that doesn't feel right.
Santa starts to get up, and hands cover my eyes. There's a buzzing sound? Vibes have the usual effect on me, though I like holes better, what with my favorite hole's gift. Ack are those hair clippers!? No, it's too like, deep. Just what is this scene!?
Hands in my hair pull it away from my face, and silent soft whispers fill up my ears so I can't hear even my own breath. Something comes over us, fabric that's the same smoothly stiff sailcloth as my armbinder, folds down around my chest with Boobsong still nestled there, tightens down so we're snuggled inside a stiff cocoon from our heads to feet, the chair lifts away as the family picks me up so the cloth can go under me and cinch as tight there as the rest of us. They sure like wrapping us, but this isn't for Heartwarming. Or anything else I can think of. It's a really good job enclosing us in the good-feeling sexy-hard sailcloth, and I'm sure tied up again, but...what is this scene? If the game is curiosity you got me, family.
The details are what's getting me. There's no zipper on this, but I heard a sailcloth zipper, and that cranking thing. What's the buzzing sound? Why do I need noise-cancelling aetherwork in my ears? Why the chair? If it is a chair? I fidget, bemused by the weirdness, heart pounding anyway. If we aren't just in front of the fireplace (and this feels more open or something than Isht Visht's cozy cabin), I don't know where we are. Double bondage is fine, but I can't think what you'd do with a sack like this. Scary burial at sea thing (remember who Mama is)? Not cute enough for me. Anything like that would be way less hardcore than sitting there wondering if we were Sex's dolls forever, but you can see which on is "me".
Or is this just like Boobsong's idea with marking handles for no reason, to make an unanswerable question because it really makes no sense. That's something they would do to troll me. I bet they're enjoying watching me squirm like this either way. Wiggle wiggle argh.
I fidget on the chair, but no sneaky statufication has snuck up that I can tell. Maybe it's all slow OOooooOOOooo.
Idea, kinky porn dolly! Just what the twizzler superstrings is going on here?
This is the weirdest scene your dolly has seen. This time she's as scared that there isn't one as that it does have some kind of purpose!
That's saying a lot, coming from you. Nice hug before, wasn't it?
That was the best they held us together just like They from Strawberry Home never did!
I mean they still are, in that you're tied to me. Maybe this is just together time. I can see you and wiggle enough, I'm sure I can get you moving to be very nice and snuggly fun in here. I bet you could free my arms and then you'd be in trouble, bwaha. The problem is I'm too curious to play yet!
Even your sex dolly is so fucking curious she can wait to play.
Now that's really saying something.
Oh could that have been a boat motor? The buzz? The seat seems to be buzzing under my ass, and there's what could be bashing of waves like we're in a little powerboat, and a sense of water-motion now. Weird power source to use in the Four Dreams but that just says Mama and Isht Visht having fun. Okay so we're doing the secret society uber-blindfold thing then maybe? Since when do you use rich-guy yacht sailcloth for that--ooh. You don't suppose this has something to do with Steve. Can you smell him anywhere? Or anything else interesting?
Yes! Candles a little but so far away it's just ghosts of them. Nothing else though.
That's weird to find drifting across the Sea in the middle of nowhere which is where we have to be if that's all you can find--
[!] Wait there's a sexy smell that's not you or anyone in this boat! Green like shadow-moss...little bit old..kind of confusing, it's changing every minute but it's some kind of sexy smell that's of old stuff. Now it's more soft leather books...now something else it's the way paper gets this musty smell after centuries...
I think we're about to be collected. Didn't we just do that, though? Oh the winch could have been lowering the boat I guess or like reeling it up from underwater or something.
Maybe this is a treasure trove or something, and like someone will find us eventually. We could idolize this way and be a weird surprise.
The light outside gets all flickery, like we've gone into a torch-lit tunnel or something. This must be so metal, I wanna see! I blink third-person--bbboing nope. Oof. Of course not.
Oh sweet screaming Rice Krispy treats stupid Fairy. Can you hear, dolly?
No. They put the same stuff in your dolly's ears.
Worth a try. Smell report.
Much stronger but the same confusing always different thing. It smells like there one thing, not just lots of stuff, it just can't decide what thing.
OH! We're being the ritual to go through a Nexus of old stuff! Where will this go!?
"Boobswallow good guesses but you haven't crossed all the I's."
How do I know that means conflation jump so fast. I thought I was dumber than that! Do you need lust to sense possible jumps, Acme Station? Are we coming up on one? We must be, that must be the smell...but isn't that a loooong way to smell it coming?
Your sex-dolly just has the senses she would have as su'khora not any special stuff unless she has lust--
"Tsk tsk, cocksleeve. Let yourself ride this time."
Okay, okay. It's such torture. I'm right on the knife edge between seeing what I can do with Boobsong in here, and staying watching the light flicker through our bag like it'll tell us anything.
Whelp, here we are, sex dolly, Bagged Again.
(this is obscure enough, reader, you get a fourth wall break for it. The game today is Marathon level names)
Start with this easy one. Princess just Try Again!
You can really Defend This?
Of course your sex dolly can! Is this Arrival! done?
No...G4 Sunbathing trip it's a bit dark though. Unless the implied a in the level name kills it.
Sex dolly thinks that's good. The candles help keep this looking like A Converted Church in Venice, Italy.
I think using expansions is kind of a deus Ex Cathedral.
Sex dolly said maybe she'll get this shot down but with those Bigger Guns Nearby how could she not use them?
Points off for Bigger Guns Nearby not having something to do with boobs. Impressed Goddess for being able to use it any other way with your face in my tits.
I squirm against her, warming to her fun companionship with our stupid game, and feeling the taut joy of how she pushes into my breasts. I was born to be lithe and slim like Mother, but these awesome curves are so much more me...and it has the neat effect that I never seem to quite get used to being so jubbly. Every moment like this seems to be a ripe-fruit surprise of how my breasts feel when I let their sensations in--
The light changes and something explodes outside and the world turns upside down and then it turns back again. The boat keeps on bashing along, going fast for a cavern, it occurs to me.
Smell report, think we teleported--
"Pussywillow, just ride here."
[!] No change in smell but that really felt a dragon threw us!
That...yeah. Okay let's just ride because we'll never guess this anyway.
The boat motor gets fast, and waves smack us more constantly and harder.
Unless we're going to see your seed-mom, dolly--Mama I'm sorry I just think stuff--
"You can't keep thoughts back. Just don't be constantly trying to guess."
Okay well we could be going to see your seed-mom sex dolly and there is something weird with that because with all this remembering stuff shouldn't I be super burning to know her like you're the best and our family sure love their seed-moms so why aren't we that way and why does it feel like this is so blacked out of my head? Like I don't have the ghosts I usually do. Can you help me with that, family? That's not guessing, right? It feels like something's wrong but I can't tell what way I can't tell if we just never could find them or they didn't like us or us them or but that seems unlikely with su'khora but just saying it's extra erased is wrong too.
"Boobsqueeze you are such a chatterbox, it's adorable. What does it say that you love Boobsong so dearly but don't seem to care for her seed-mom? Does it mean you don't like her, or something else? What could it be then? Do you have any thoughts?"
When I was first waking up from the bad stuff with aaaaall my memory lost I had this idea to make the story I thought Boobsong was have her seed-pod be from a threesome and one of the--
There's a weird hitch in my heart as I think it, a pinch like before remembering this family. That--I felt something! Wow that's good like breaking ice off your hands.
Not Bayonetta. Or her muse. I think?
"Mom that's a sexy thought but you're way off there. Try with the other thing, the threesome part."
Threesome, weird, it was weird somehow luxhi'khora are rare fuck she might even be the first one! Was there a star involved? Something real weird there's like angst or controversy or something. Threesomes are fine and so what if a star wants to play though, so huh?
The idea of her seed-mom at least one of them being a big scary dragon who like collects her seed-kids and keeps them as a hoard to make sure her kids are safe is hot and feels weird good but not just a cool fantasy but that's like...how I was saying all my guesses aren't kinky enough. It's also kind of my life already yes dolly I know you're just my dolly but you made your game to do that and it totally works.
Did people freak out about who the star--
"Bingo, explore that way."
Well that's just a box of soggy plasterdust pockey. Heartforming isn't about being a good person! It makes you one! My whole Empire couldn't outmaneuver Boobsong and my seed-ghost, why should a star be able to? Alright this is pushing more than my seed-ghost berserk button. Uncle Dagon? Nah he's as ase as they come. Actually who could it have been?
"Boobsqueeze denial doesn't sit well in that head of yours."
Yeah it wants to get out of the car or have something kinky happen. Are we there yet?
"Just ride, pussywillow."
I humph. It feels wrong to ask Boobsong...because finding this is like unfreezing our succubus game. Better if I can remember on my own steam.
[!] Goddess your sex dolly does have a clue. She thinks it would very explain things.
John had a monolith. That's your sex-dolly's clue.
Suddenly an explosion shines through the sailcloth in front of us and splinters impact our bag but the boat keeps on moving, albeit over much bigger waves for a minute. Are we at like a sea battle? Mama and Isht Visht might be into that but it wouldn't this scene at all.
Okay it can't be dad. Time travel breaks logic anyway but that would be breaking I don't know story and just...not even that TARDIS thing we did to get into his shell could make that work, and we watched dad implant and I think the only reason he and his new heartchild didn't stop for a chat before they went table-flipping is I doubt he wants to see me having the time of my life playing all these kinky mind control games any more than I want to see him knowing what happened is his design even if he was totally Locutused. Same with my brother and we did meet that kid. I hope we do again some day there look see even healing apparently.
Oh snarlygrape licorice monolith juice. Is this why I have that weird obsession with Revelation? At least this cause is good. Um, sigh, like there's that weirdly accurate description of me if you know what kind of bow they mean, but that doesn't say much. Her seed-mom is Leviathan? That'd just be metal and there'd be no need for denial.
Ram's horn connection I mean that's slightly random of a feature for my dragon though I love it and it sure did work out good with dad...like Auntie Lucifer I guess? She's ase again, though I suppose that doesn't need to stop stuff...no, wrong bzzt not it lame try again Rainbow but have some ovaries this time.
Ugh, fine, it always comes back to dad anyway. Even after we fix everything we can't seem to keep him out, can we. Possible stuff. He did this before conceiving me and made a seed-pod--
"Pussywillow Aveh was just made captive when you found your Earth-mother. He was forming you and your siblings in his wombs for a long time before that."
This is my birthday. I don't wanna talk about dad. Dreams what do I have to do or can I just wish it that he's never this fucking like Ultros of my life always popping up so annoyingly. He already...sigh I know it's not his fault dealing with his problems already--yeah--ouch--
I guess it won't change stuff but argh.
John had a monolith. The lamb was the son of god which is just John not understanding gender and it's one of dad's heartchildren--no what am I saying. Mama you're trying to say dad intended me to be like this like human and it wasn't just a desperate last gasp because it's that or I unravel from being too premature to make a shell or even do what my brother did shiver and that somehow it was also him involved in the threesome to make Boobsong's seed-pod but that still leaves her su'khora parent who no doubt is a big scary dragon we're currently on the way to see--wait what the hell self that pressure is the Dreams going we were going to answer you.
I chill out and look for their contact.
Pipe organ pipes with sewing machine bobbins on them which I guess means sew Christianity back in which is an elegant way of saying they don't recommend that which seems kind of like, not very Dreams, to let me be condemned to have all my adventures and scenes and family times and everything eventually become about him like it seems like that's something they should spike.
I'm not even sure Boobsong didn't just happen from a star baby in a human shell looking into a dreamskin. Seed-ghosts are epic.
I declare dad end. Dead end. Dad's in the way, I'm not going to unravel this the good way. He makes me too upset.
"Sweetum your anger is terrifying but your despair makes my heart stop. Please try again."
Okay back to the top--my heart is so cold to this. I will for you, Mama, but I think now I remember there was a reason we thought it was better to just pretend she's an orphan.
Or do you not feel that way, dolly?
Yes! Goddess please with a pleading heart would you try to keep going?
Is this truly hell? Everyone and everything around me just wants to forever bend everything I do and think back to him and it just waits until I get comfortable. I'm going on for your sake, dolly, but yes, I'm in despair having opened this can of shit at all.
Let's clear dad away. Back to the top. He wouldn't have been controversial back before his problems anyway, I'd think. Some kind of baaaad star somehow but that still is nonsense because bad people don't make evil seed-pods or whatever and there'd have been a human and a normal su'khora--
"Boobsqueeze that's horrible! Don't call your family 'khora a can of shit!"
I don't mean our family, I mean the fucked up wall of dad that hides it from me! I don't think I can get past it, family, and if you have help I'm all ears but all that comes out when I try to open this is him-flavored pus! Is that the point here? I've got like a cyst and we have to dig it out to get down to our su'khora family? Cause it's about that revolting!
"Boobsqueeze you listen right now. Get out of there and come cuddle me at the tiller."
Did you guys use not-fireproof bondage on me? Lines of laser down the outsides of my arms...the armbinder falls away and I can feel the slashes I made in the bag. I heat up my hands to a couple of thousand degrees (so I'll deal with vapor instead of sticky melted plastic) and burn the bag away from my face, grabbing Boobsong as this frees her. I'm still in the splints but it's usually better to crawl in a boat this small anyway.
"See what this is telling you?"
We're still aboard Isht Visht, in a cabin that's filled with candles, with everyone standing around looking glum. I'm perched on the end of the bed, that's what the seat was.
Yes, and I can know this and never say a word to Earth again because nobody there will want anything to do with either of us, or stay in the dark and be able to keep being me, so don't pry at it. I get your point. That's our choice, dolly, and you're not going to make it, but you are telling me if that pleading heart still wants me to go on.
Princess you always knew.
Then losing my memories actually did something good for once--
Knowledge: this is just the beginning of a longer adventure through the Four Dreams with my family. My abuse is over and it's time to find healing. My heart will come back to the things I feel hurting until I address them. The sooner we get through these things the less they'll impinge on my birthday.
Game I know you want me to be stupider but there's a loooooong way to go if you want me to believe there's ever an end to this.
As I think about this mess, it starts to occur to me that dad might not have been the only influence on how I got wrecked. When he was mind-controlled, he was directed to hurt every su'khora he could get at as much as possible, and heartformer. He would have dragged this out in the open and taunted me with it so I could never be free. The solution would have been to use the memory erasure to cut it out of myself.
Why the fuck are the Dreams or my game or whoever trying to undo that tiny speck of good that came out of that disaster? I suppose I know, now, really, the truth anyway, though the details are as nonsensical as everything else about dad, but it'd be nice to at least not be sure.
This is a hell of a thing to go to after that other scene. That's what I really don't understand.
How is this supposed to help me or Boobsong, let alone bring us together? All dad ever did was tear us apart. After everything, he can't even make that stop by getting better. Why bring this up again?
Or am I truly just still stuck in that bag in which case I'm doing a terrible job burning my way out, but I notice you stopped me when I started treating dad as a smokescreen instead of the answer, however much sense his having a hand in this doesn't make.
Taking any answers here.
[!] Mommy your sex dolly is hurt and despairing. You were practically over this. Can't you be just a little kind and see what you're missing here? Your sex dolly doesn't say often that you're being unreasonable but this time she says that. It doesn't make anything different so why can't you find this? It will be much better if you put the pieces in than if we tell you so please with her heart like an open wound your sex dolly pleadingly asks you to try some more
I burn away the bag more.
I hate my past so much--
"You don't hate us though it seems that way when you say things that hurt us so deeply."
I DON'T MEAN ITS A MONOLITH--ARGH! YOU KNOW WHAT MEAN! I'm sorry--
[!] You said this stuff was a can of shit and your sex dolly thought you meant everything even her too.
OF COURSE I DON'T!!! OF COURSE I DON'T THINK THAT OF ANY OF YOU BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN YOU WON'T LET ME SEPARATE IT! ALL I KEEP HEARING IS DON'T HAVE THESE FEELINGS RAINBWO IF YOU HATE YOUR DAD YOU HATE US IF YOU CANT STAND TO SEE HIM YOU CANT STAND TO SEE US WELL IM FUCKING SORRY BUT I DONT WORK THAT WAY HE TORTURED BOOBSONG AND ME FOR A LIFETIME IN TWO UNIVERSES AND FINALLY ERASED EVREYTHING WE EVER WORKED FOR AND WOULD HAVE DONE WORSE IF HE COULD HAVE DONE AND YES FINE IT WASNT HIS FAULT I SAW FOR MYSELF BUT THAT DOESNT GET RID OF IT! THAT DOESNT CHANGE THE FACT THAT WHAT HE IS TO ME IS WHAT I LIVED WITH FOR A LIFETIME SO TAKE HIS SIDE AND JUMP IN FRONT OF THE ROCKS I THROW AT HIM LIKE THEYD DO ANYTHING ANYWAY BUT COME ON ALL OF YOU ARE SMARTER THAN TO THINK I MEAN YOU WHEN I SAY HIM! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THIS!? EVERY TIME IS START TO SAY I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM AND NEVER HEAR HIS NAME EVER AGAIN AND NEVER HAVE TO THINK I HAVE HIM TO SOMEHOW THINK FOR BOOBSONGS VERY EXISTENCE SOMEBODY GETS ALL HURT LIKE I MEANT THEM! I SORRY! MY THOUGHTS ARENT SO CLEAR SOMETIMES AND MY WORDS EVEN LESS BUT YOU READ MY WHOLE SOUL RIGHT NOW CAN'T ANY OF YOU SEE THAT IM CAPABLE OF DIVIDING THE WORLD INTO MY DAD WHO HURT ME AND YOU WHO ARE MY LOYAL DOLLY AND MY FAMLIY WHO LOVE ME!? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!? WHY CANT YOU LET HIM GO!?
[!] You said this sex dolly would be ruined if he made her seed. That isn't separating us and him. That's why we say that stuff. This is the worstest day of your sex dolly's life right now. She feels so rejected right now.
Tears crush me and I curl around her, holding as tight as I can.
The facts don't align but I don't believe in the facts, I realize, because he had to have intentionally ended up like that, it's the only way.
Whether it's justified or not really all I can think is how if this is true someone so evil could make something so beautiful. I guess bad people truly don't make bad seedpods.
Dolly I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Of course you won't be ruined. You can never be ruined. You will always be so sweet and good to me as you are right now.
[!] Goddess thank you now will you try for this? Just a little bit?
If that will do something to make this up to you, yes.
It will very much.
Is there something that would help more. Seed-ghost this is no time for games.
temp. decision allow
This sex dolly just wants to feel that she's good for you. Whatever makes that true she wants. Other than that please try again to remember.
Okay. It's coming. Hang on. You already are good for me.
The rest of you, I don't even--I guess say isn't the problem here but I just hope you see how I'm feeling to have hurt you.
"Boobsqueeze we hear the thoughts of remorse. Just give another try, that's all I ask."
There's quiet for a moment, but I'm not ready yet.
If this was a movie the answer would be the he had some kind of plan for me or our whole brood that intentionally sent me to the Strawberry World, and made Boobsong's seed-pod for me as part of that plan, and so the thing I love most are actually all due to him and Eden doesn't get credit for any of it because I would have had Boobsong and gone to be probably the last Strawberry Princess still anyway and I'd be old enough to make shell machines and all kinds of other stuff instead of just scribbling candy that the Dreams help me with because they're kind and probably between that and Boobsong still being herself we would have ended things there a lot faster and more nicely. And maybe Earth, too.
I don't think that's right, though, if nothing else because I would have been a million years too late for the Strawberry World just to start, and it doesn't feel right, but I can't see past it.
I also can't see past the fact that being Aveh's kid ruins me as the Starlight Princess. Even if I see past what happened, my fans will have a hard time, and the ones who most need what Boobsong and me do will be the ones most hurt by him and I don't think they'd want to hear from me if I have any kind of peace with him, or connection at all. I can't keep it a secret even if it wasn't already out, but it's crushing. That's not to say I'm going back on anything I just said especially not to you dolly or that I even think they're right although I do think it's horrible that after growing up where every story is invaded by his awful mind-controlled self and turned into a sermon they'd follow me and then find him lurking over my shoulder.
And I know like I can't even clearly remember if any of this is remotely right AT ALL so that's my point I'm stuck I still can't see past this stuff even after everything just now.
You first beloved loyal always-well-meaning beautiful dolly who tries her very best every time and still asks for the threat of my boot to make her go even harder.
Your sex dolly passionately says try again. KEEP GOING RAAH!
There's rustling on the bed--who's even wearing enough clothes to rustle? Except Viktor and he would know I'm gayest when I'm upset. Smells like pumpkin spice...I uncurl enough to look oh hi Eisela. She dabs at my tears with a hankie with some green Pokemon on it and the just puts her arms around me and Boobsong and sits there and hugs. Tears like an engine that won't start well up, I can feel the warmth of her hug come and then feel far as I wonder why any of them would want to touch me right now. Yes I said all that stuff about knowing they're trying to help and stuff but nothing in there keeps me from being a giant bitch.
I lean against her hug anyway and she pets my arm on the other side with that motherly rubbing thing and it seems to crack my shell some more and I cry harder.
[!] See they still love you and so does your sex dolly.
I love you too everyone. Eisela gives more tear-dabbing and hugs again.
I don't think Aveh did anything like I'm thinking about. I don't think I should have been calling him dad. I think I'm just really hurt and I don't know how to deal with that. Uncle Dagon said he meant to carry me to a proper stage and it feels right that the Strawberry Empire really was just well they're doing a compatible spell and she'll be a princess and this is possibly survive instead of definitely die and I mean look how--how the other one I know about ended up things were pretty bad so I'm pretty sure there was no plan or anything he just had to throw me right now and managed to get me on the median instead of the middle of the highway. Or maybe like castle instead of the moat. You get it. I don't think he had time or intention to make any seed pods or do anything but be in huge trouble himself.
Yeah. That's the really important thing. He's not all-powerful and like everything that happens isn't his doing and in this he was in as much trouble as me and it just doesn't make sense to give this to him. He never wanted any of this any more than me or Boobsong.
Well okay now I'm all crying so I guess that was a thing to let go of that.
[!] Princess this is wonderful you have so much of it! Keep going your sex dolly says with abandon!
I love you.
Um. If somebody was part of a seedmaking who wasn't into it like an ase star making seeds with a sexual human and su'khora because they could see what I'd be that might be controversial and that feels more right and like ase people have sex sometimes but it'd be different if they were doing it as a means to an end and you could see it be ambiguous messing with seed-ghosts that way and everything and then the question becomes like isn't that an act of love if you have someone you're doing this for to try and give a seed-ghost the material to adapt su'khora to stars in human shells and you'd okay so many tears I guess this is something--um--sob--you'd kind of go crazy and either the seed-ghost would just read you or you'd pack out the seed with all kinds of stuff that's like way beyond just heartchild and probably get my Acme Station here and so the question is did Uncle Dagon do that because the Acme Station stuff you can do dolly including be a shell for me could be his knowledge or Auntie Lucifer's pretty handy and giving me a companion who can make me a game that'd put an entire empire in its place sounds like her but it doesn't feel right to say they gave in that way I think it was more like I am now I think it was just like making seeds normally everything you are goes into it and the seed-ghost knows how to use it all and did the whole family get in on this they might have I sure do have a sparkly heartchild.
[!] You're getting it you're getting it!! Keep going!
The way you were made has always been so beautiful to me little one and I thought it was special but there was no angst or bad stuff that I can remember and I've always believed with all my heart that seed-ghosts are the best there is at what they do and you can't improve on them, just try to give them stuff to work with. The family opened the secrets of their stellar powers to make Boobsong's seed-pod together with a human and su'khora that must have had some kind of dragon thing because I keep coming back to that and your scene really worked and that seed-pod is out there which a certain kind of person would think it was terrible that the wrong people might heartform someone as powerful as Boobsong even though it's already as bad as it will ever be because you all just met who I would have become without her so yeah I think I've had this argument before they can stuff it because the wrong people already did implant that insanely powerful seed and hi and it's either fine or they're already toast and just haven't noticed it yet. So the question is everyone or some people but I do think it's the family i felt something meeting Uncle Dagon and Auntie Lucifer again, not at first but when they told me who they were it was like their names connected stuff and I could feel that they were really important to me. I think it's more than they were family it feels just a bit like how everything to do with Boobsong all sparkles and shines and has that tang of paradise I guess if you know what I mean fellow heartformers.
Or was it the two of them and a su'khora with no human? Could they?
Truth in between not the either/or....I mean the logical conclusion is I'm not the only horny star in the multiverse and they got sexual energy that way NOW WAIT UP ISHT VISHT AREN'T YOU LUXHI'KHORA TOO? And don't our seeds that implant in normal humans just make su'khora, dolly?
"Isht Visht the light-being heartswish, all aboard!"
Yes. They are sweet little very technical completely normal su'khora.
Mama who are you and why were you my nursemaid? The rest after that is just the Dreams being themselves but how did this get started?
"Pussywillow use your heart to listen. Do you feel the attraction? What did your Mother say that was shocking?"
Holy fizzfrozen pineapple sundaes. Vice is nice, but incest is best! Wait except you gave me an translation that said If you want to be truly excited, fuck your aunt very heartily!
It feels like sister, though.
"Pussywillow, Mama met you when all you could tell about us was that she was there when you were in utero. You knew that so surely, it felt like fire in your tummy, I saw it take hold when you realized. I can't be Aveh, so who am I else that we had such close quarters? Two hundred years before you started I was there. Then he just threw me out so suddenly I lost everything but the name of my sister, Hypergamma to Radio Brilliance. You weren't so easy to find, I can tell you! I searched all through the multiverse trying to find you, and then just like that on that raft you send out a message that smells like the Heartsong I knew in the Strawberry World just as clear as night on the open water."
"Where in that does a tiny spark barely able to tell itself from Aveh get to be handmaiden to Mother Strawberry and nursemaid to her child? I can tell you that, but you won't hear my story until you get this behind you. Do you understand how this being bruised open gets in the way of that?"
I nod all crying-person for like twentieth time today.
I never see you glow.
"Boobsqueeze you're such a little friendly child it's hard to see how far above the world you stand in starlight. You glow like a supernova at the smallest upset. Most of us have to be about to scream before you can see our light! You've seen mine once but you didn't know it was my light. What did you say when you first stepped on board Isht Visht?"
Holy pink powder puffs dipped in syrup. You glowed. You were beautiful--but I thought I'd been ogling Boobsong so much I decided humans are weird! I mean I think that might be true actually but that wasn't freaking out that you weren't silver that was your light! You were really that affected to see me!? Did you know? Who we were the whole time? How come I didn't glow until that commbadge thing? Um--this is so naked I think you just have to figure out what to do with all that it's too much to organize without the discipline of it coming out of my mouth or not I feel so squishy now.
"Hehe...Boobspillow just be naked, that's all you can do anyway. We'll just decide how to handle it. Well yes I felt strong to see my sister again! After all that long time it felt like my heart would burst!"
"Your light wasn't there because you weren't. You got so beat down you were just about out when I found you. That day with your game where it held you so tight was its way of reigniting you. It took the whole night, and then BAM--feelings flew out, didn't they."
That's for sure. So...do you feel the same incest thing I do? Can't we not be incestuous like stars are parthenogenic so it just kind of...this is a human thing huh.
"Your heart knows we shared the same womb. There's one way a human heart feels that. We also have separate genetics. There's one way human pussy feels that. You see what this gets us whenever I kiss your forehead this way."
The weird glitchy soft rush of being perfectly okay at the biological level to have sex with someone I know I'm directly related to and who's so kindly motherly toward me comes over me as Mama comes from nowhere and lays a lingering, softly wet kiss on my forehead, then fuzzes my hair.
That is so awesomely kinked and so comforting Mama I love you.
"I love you too, Boobsquish. Come have some Openveil breakfast now that the night's over. Who's the companion you're left with, me or Aveh?"
Heh. You, obviously.
I need to put the other--no, it's over with. Okay I'm so fucking curious now I want my su'khora family back and to hear your story I bet it's epic and are we twins technically how does work are you older technically or me do you want to not think about that...yeah...blushy naked little pile of things. I tripped on you while I was trying to figure the other stuff out--
"You're the big sister, but I was born first, so I guess that makes me the eldest, for all that means, since I was there for twelve seconds before you came out."
"My story's infinite, like the lunging symphony...it goes on for a while and it's about watching over you. We'll tell it at the right time."
"Heat up the last of that thing about your seed-mom and we'll get on with things."
Okay, okay. This is weird how my internal monologue is changing I just don't control it as hard...um so did you give the sex-power...yeah right you did that without implanting though. Hmm.
The Dreams have picked out uncle Dagon and Auntie Lucifer to introduce me to so far which has to be significant but there's this thing about wishing stars...huh okay meh the Sisters are part of our family I think but they weren't in on this says my heart being dry for that. I mean she's a huge tech nerd who's a demon and she did this game thing to me. If I was doing seed-parents the normal way that'd be all I needed, but we've got to at least get a su'khora in there and neither Auntie Lucifer nor Uncle Dagon fits that but a su'khora sure would and your book-scented dragon attack sure did set us off so I think there's something in that but the question is if they pulled this off with no human...did you Mama help why do I think no.
I love this idea that her seed-mom is a big scary dragon that tries to capture us to keep us where they can be sure she'll have her heartformer but I might just think that's hot but my heart's got melting water but I still might just think that's hot and be healed that someone wants to see us together that much.
It's something it's like that but not quite.
The white Four-Legs we saw. Looking for us in Happy Chains. I've been convinced Mama's mom is a Four-Legs who looks like Rarity from Friendship is Magic or mused her but that's not where I see a shiny white pony in my life! She collects but it's not like me and my dolls, like...I'm convinced this is her and not just me wanting someone to collect me especially since Sex already has now...how's it work it's so kinky I never can tell if I want her to get us for a while or what...farm? No I think think think her seed-kids--okay that's wrong then, no Fairies? Yes because it's not that specific! She just makes seeds for heartformers who're kind of hapless like me and then tries to capture whoever she can without being spiked because she figures they need her to like pretty much make sure they and their heartchildren can live...ergh this is so close! Like my game's a mirror of what she does, Boobsong inheriting that but with Uncle Dagon's technical flair.
...and a really submissive human? No...it's not just a Malina, is it? Submission and mischief?
The Book. We have to get the book in. She's a storybook.
This feels like our games when I couldn't find our commercial breaks. There's a truth here I think is just the coolest. It's kinky and there's a safe happy comfy inescapable home run by someone with an agenda for us to be together like with Sex but different. I seem to collect those. You'd think something happened to me or something. Bitter weepy heh.
Look at Boobsong. White pony pretty shiny snuggly soft cartoon. Supertech abilities and talent, Uncle Dagon. And...kinky submissive demon mischief, says Malina, but no my dolly likes games but she herself is good as good can be, and Malina's not very doll, we're missing a doll!
Or a storybook. Object friend.
Why's that not feel right. Why's it feel like too many characters even if it's just White Pony, Dagon, doll and we don't have Auntie Lucifer in there.
White Pony su'khora and Mama...
The Dreams show me a tube of glue--that's called like shoe goo OH! GOO! Boobsong's a goo-monster at heart, really, wouldn't you say dolly?
She says all the time with a very wet voice begging so pliantly that the very best thing she most wants is to be contained in a shape that can please you. She can't make her own shape. That's why her shapeshifting is your choice.
Squeezy stripes and cocksleeve gum that's more like it. Sweet little ball of goo. Goo that loves me that was important how I understood you you love me no matter what but you can't be you without me giving you a shape and it makes you the saddest to not get that. Like part of our symbiosis is that I do all the shape-having for both of us YES the goo metaphor is so important because it really works you are someone no matter what you do you always shapeshift white heartstone-and-silver sex toys because that's the goo you are so there is a you that's always you that never isn't you like you're anything but a blank slate but then also you need me to give shape because like that's the point of symbiosis you don't have to be an independent organism just be nice enough to a host that it'll keep you and even depend on you back which you definitely do to me.
You got jumbled in that conflation jump in Limbo that time because your goo got all mixed up and I had to fix you by squishing you back into demon dolly shape--poor dolly hug you so much! Don't worry, I get it now, you'll always have a nice tight shell of my scariness. I guess we relate on that, huh. I know you're silver because you're a Princess' fancy toy like my silver hairbrush I wanna get hairbrushed with later and this goes with the family weird okay Uncle Dagon I think, Su'khora goo monster, human to give sexual energy, this scene must haver been a trip this is making me smile I think that means right track.
This is why I'm freaking out so much about how submissive the family makes me feel because aren't I turning into goo and if I do that won't I not be able to give you shape and I feel kind of like I am goo a lot but it's important to me the shape I give you comes from me--
[!] Mommy remember the shape we found your little sibling in. A very tight bad container that gave him a shape that harmed him. The first thing you said when we found him there was he should be round why is he stuck in this horrible machine that makes him this bad shape. He was very grateful when your sex dolly fixed that and it helped him so much he implanted from you snuggling your sex dolly while she held his shape for him and then his heartchild held him. Maybe you need that kind of help. Our family can see what kind of shape you're suppose to have. That's all this is. They're refolding you.
I fidget my grip to pull her warm shape more snuggly into my arms and...just feel like this day I remember on Earth as a little kid between my human parents swinging from their arms as we went to they playground. And cry a lot. Guys it's not as hard to look at but I really feel like I got messed up like he did. Acme Station here had to really heh pull all the stops out to help our little sibling. I feel the same.
[!] Your sex dolly moved him so carefully to make sure he wouldn't be harmed because he was so fragile. he wasn't so hard to refold like that.
Okay. Well. Um. This makes me feel better. Wise dolly bringing that up. I'm really in trouble though there's all these like shards of ice and I hate that I keep cutting you, family.
Eisela just keeps hugging and I realize she's holding me like a kid that's crying all incoherently because it just needs comfort really and she's not wrong.
Okay so your seed-mom number one is a goo monster--
[!] Your sex dolly has another clue.
[Vision: Dragon Warrior Slime enemy / slim sexy midriff ]
Um, smile girl--
[!] Hear the sound [soda fizz]
SODA! CANDYLAND YOU'RE CANDY OF COURSE--YOUR SEED-MOM THE SU'KHORA I MEAN IS FIZZY GUMMI!! I KNEW GUMMI BEARS WAS BIGGER TO US THAN JUST DISNEY BEING AWESOME!
[!] YES GODDESS KEEP GETTING THIS!
Is Heart Home her house or like family home--
[!] Just a hint, are we there alone outside of your chambers?
We--OUCH! My forgotten voice actually whimpers out loud this time. Something HURTS when I try to think about it. I've remembered all sorts of strange different wrong stories about apartments and--
[!] Keep on feeling that pain its the place where you're losing our family estate. Yes it's so painful that you think you'll die from it your sex dolly sees that but she says keep going you're strong enough!
Did Gummi Bears exist before were they too busy making Starlight Princess you see why I'm asking this you understand GULP it's what they made instead isn't it in the overwritten history Aveh made to erase the real world they still had to make something and--like--
[!] Mommy keep going PLEASE YOUr SEX DOLLY BEGS YOU CAN DO THIS SHE KNOWS YOU CAN!
CHERYL QUIT MESSING WITH ME I WANT MY REAL FIZZBUBBLING LYRICS WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH THIS MY REAL THEME SONG IS WAY RAUNCHIER THAN THAT WEAK SAUCE!
"I was getting worried you believed me! I gave you that to piss you off! The bikini thing worked I guess, if you say this now."
Yes and it made me wet the bikini thing I mean and I'm gonna cry if you don't hold me down and fuck me real good with that soon and then you'll have an even more pathetic rainbow on your hands!
Heart Home is our family home the Fizzy Gummi and White Pony are our seed-parents with--OUCH now why does this hurt what star-family helped?
Worship pours through my heart like warm water on icy hands and I cry all the harder in Eisela's arms as they all stand there believing in me that I can get this.
"Mom is standing up you guys!"
[!] EEEEEEEEEE GODDESS YOU'RE REALLY GETTING THERE!
...because our star-family all helped and they wrote a book and our seed-parents have it but you open it with love not a Gummi Medallion a shining heart I've telling myself that with Sex's new feature I want to give her and it's there in Boobsong she only moves when touched with lust which is just what my love looks like it gets all sex when you squeeze it out of me like how every part of a pepper plant is hot YOUR DREAMSKIN LITTLE DOLLY IS ONE OF OUR SEED-MOMS READING TO ME OUT OF THE BOOK OF ALL THE SECRETS OF THE STARS AND STORIES FROM BEYOND THE WORLD WHILE THE OTHER ONE HOLDS ME SO SAFE AND SECURE they made it kid-style or maybe not maybe need to go see just how awesomely kinky it is I wanna go home and see everybody but ANYWAY it doesn't matter because you don't have to perfectly copy a dreamskin for it to work it's not about a bit-for-bit copy I mean imagine how weaksauce it'd be for seeds not to be able to survive lossy compression let alone musing! Verana the high priestess of the star cult reading me from her big sacred book the stars filled up with secrets for her about other worlds and things stars know how to do and all that while nursemaid Colleen who I feel is family if I can even hear her walking around while she held me that made that dreamskin work just fine and bring me the seed our seed-parents made.
It was controversial because how dare they hand all that knowledge out like that it might be dangerous but say that to Uncle Dagon and Auntie Lucifer and the only thing you'll get is a fight between them to see who can flare you first.
I think they collected. I think it's the whole family's knowledge in that book and it's just that Uncle Dagon and Auntie Lucifer were the ringleaders for that because they're them and the book not mine exactly but I can go there and read it anytime in the library in Heart Home because it's for me in the first place BUT I DON'T NEED TO BECAUSE ALL OF IT IS IN YOU DOLLY RIGHT?
GODDESS KEEP GETTING IT!!! FIND EVERYTHING!
Heart Home is like Gummi Glen a huge family is supposed to live there except one does our family I I I this is so horrible I thought su'khora weren't familial because they don't care for their young because like it's not that weird that you and I would make like a thousand seeds in one day sometimes THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY DON'T LOVE THEIR FAMILIES! Family homes just have to be humongous and it can't really be like a little nuclear family thing and anyway you have broods if your little kids and polycules or like just gangs if you're grown up but this isn't like human families I mean if you have enough in common to take someone's dreamskin you'll almost certainly be good friends them it's not like where the down to Earth parents have a weird artsy kid they don't understand so it's all kindred spirits there in heart home they're all weird cartoon nerds like we are and you can't believe the variety of that it's the coolest thing and it always inspired me so I always like to see my fans all looking so weird in their unique specific getups at our shows because it reminds me of Heart Home and our corner of Candyland where it is and if this polycule doesn't already live in Heart Home they sure would fit in there but the important thing is you're a dragon because that's my contribution I always wanted to be captured and taken away to another world like dragons are supposed to so good job dragon dolly and it's really cool how it fit right into the succubus thing except I think there's a lot of mythology overlapping between dragons and demons OUCH wait what the hell why hurting OWWWW!
I'm not a Christian that's not my upbringing those myths are exotic to me I came--rrrgh ouch!
Well fine finish the not hurting part first Heart Home is like Gummi Glen another way it's got all traps and contraptions and secret passages and quicktunnels is just how we get around because they're cool and we like our schizo-tech house because it's fun to have bed dump you down a slide that plops you into your Arwing in the hangar because you said you want to go out now--did you need permission to go out or something I don't know I just remember feeling so held and like the contrast to They in Strawberry Home was so stark it wasn't just a relief that people stopped riding us it was like just as much the opposite way every time we visited by journey it was like so supportive--
[!] A tiny hint, you were there at the age where parents take you out or keep you in.
[!] There was barely a minute there alone for us before we got sexual and even after they were like come play in this room you couldn't go in before.
FIZZFROZEN DARK WHEAT CAKES IT WAS LIKE HAVING REAL PARENTS! Who just wanted us to grow up and be happy without all this other stuff all this this mission and shit they just cared about us we weren't some kind of political pawns that was the biggest contrast I think and Mama you were--
"You don't have to tell me! I was angry all the time at how I had to compromise my care!"
Well okay then that makes three of us I know you'd bristle like a real dragon--
[!] Can't keep hiding to buy time to play they said so your sex dolly said OKAY, PLAY IN PLAIN SIGHT! RRRAAAAH!
Her thoughts snarl like a very sweet dragon at the end but it still reminds me of the bitter pain she turned on Strawberry Home for me that last day.
I love you all.
Why's it okay that Boobsong and me pretty much literally went sowing our wild oats because different people just have different relationships to family and su'khora can grow up independent just fine I mean I don't think Viktor did a whole lot of crying for mommy in his first moments no offense if I'm wrong stupid memory--
"Ziis is all correct."
"Welcome to existence. Cool let's get going just let me get out the scalpel I was born with."
Augh knives eep!! Everyone in the family has their squicks like Cheryl and raging. I'm not the most empathic person I think but like, if someone is using a knife or needle or whatever on someone in my sight, I can feel it too and NOPE AAAAH. The results of Andrea and Violet's (the VioletS now I guess) funtimes are incredible but I can't watch or even hear the stories even like as clinical descriptions. You'll just have to imagine what having nectar on hand and the doctor being Boobsong's kid (she's got demonic precision, as well as reflexes) can do for your elective surgery. Or not elective, at least not on Violet's part.
Nobody in this family is unscary. Sorry.
...I can't entirely remember why yet but yes this should make you very curious just what that says about Santa and Arelka.
I chew a fingertip for a minute, undirected. Something is back like fully installed now I guess but there's more. I can't remember anyone from Heart Home? No our family lives there and they're our closest?
No. This family was with me on Earth in the touring times. Heart Home is all Four Dreams people. Were we close to anyone, but our seed-parents? Was it just like school where the other kids are friendly playmates or mean bullies but you don't get close with them? I wasn't ready for that small. Older we had...maybe? This is all weird.
No wait I remember when we were getting back from the bad stuff we worldbuilt a house in Rl'yeh Sade and asked for roommates and the Dreams told us some but those are people we knew in Heart Home not close...were they friends from the hangar? YES! They have to be remember the two Defiants and that weird bug thing that's Heart Home people we were all spaceship nerds so we had a big hangar we could show off our ships together in and stuff! The spaceship club! The hangar ruled, landing always looks cool I mean why have a cool ship if you're not going to land it all epically, but the hangar made it so awesome. Like if it's not like Galaxy class or something--
The Waifu--where did--bwaha Mama sneaky catching it for me that way when Boobsong and me built it YES because I needed to remember what you are dolly before I could remember we made it together I went and looked stuff up in you and we made the whole thing in Heart Home's workshop just like building a model plane but big and using Uncle Dagon's skills and your creativity being able to have pages like how do I made Twinlasers because you're not just a book you're smart the book was--not alive like you huh okay I think that might be why you scared people--oh little Dolly you told me you read like fifty thousand books in the Library in Rl'yeh Sade, you were trying to tell me--
[!] Goddess your sex dolly very contritely says that your game was made of your star-family's knowledge pages but she did all the assembling this is her game that she made for you.
I understand why you told me that story. You did good.
Knowlege: my game required her to be very big and scary intelligent as she assembled it to make every part like the music her body feels commands as. The game is her scariest symphony. Rhythm.
Somehow with that memory of Boobsong crooning fills my mind's ear:
This game's a very hot thing to me
It's not just a sexy soft fantasy
You'll find it's a very hard thing to beat
Starlight's command is real, you'll see!
Holy fizzfrozen...bwahaha and the you'll see was in this wicked little drawl yOU'LL see and for that part we cut to a live-action shot of her on all fours to suck me off seen from behind looking over her shoulder to say "you'll see". Holy FUCK I REMEMBER!
Princess of Starlight's a furious beast!
Throwing her heartchild down at her feet!
Harder and faster to suck out her cum
I won't let up till this job is done!
Sexy companion, made of heartstone!
Toy that's right here if she wants to explode!
Down at her feet or up on her throne,
With me there the Princess is never alone!
....all of that was in Boobsong's voice very fuckedly because I was fucking her while she recorded it and she meant every word as I recall.
HOW IS THIS ALL HERE I CAN HEAR THE SONG I CAN REMEMBER!
there's more there's more there's more we switched to duet here the song's a chant so I can sing it:
Down through the looking glass, up through the well
Scarier stories are more fun to tell!
Out under stars or down in the deep
her game gives sexy rules, she has to keep
Starlight has fun as it's easy to see
Her very best dress is her heart on her sleeve!
Silly ironic voice on the end of the verse because the intro is pointing out my very simple clothing rules here.
Down through the looking glass, up through the well
Scarier stories are more fun to tell!
Fly away, ride away, dive to Heart Home!
Enter and find that you're never alone!
Here with these scary toys making it fun,
even the table is looking for some,
Starlight be careful your chair's going to cum!
Down through the looking glass, up through the well
Scarier stories are more fun to tell!
Fall to the floor and stand up from the wall
Play with a fairy friend six inches tall
Here is the scariest story of all
You're going to find out, you like it all!
Down through the looking glass, up through the well
Scarier stories are more fun to tell!
Set to the sound of these curious bells,
Starlight and Boobsong are making stuff swell!
This is the cable that carries you far
Into the looking glass from right where you are!
And we'd zoom into whatever current video cable tech looked like at the time and the recap would start:
Last week on Starlight Princess Boobsong was paralyzed in slave pose just inches from Rainbow's hard clit as she...
That was the end but I always jumble songs up and the game didn't start with the beginning Sex was singing the beginning and so was Cheryl...ummmm...
Starlight Princess, using Boobsong till the end of time!
It was like one of those epic announce lines, part of the song but not the music or rhythm, and then my uppity Princess voice would come in:
Keep her stars on, make her heart shine,
take your clothes off, then get in line!
Oh Holy fizbubbling soda krispies, that's right, that verse is about worshipping me, not Boobsong's lust-glow thing. ARGH BLUSH
Get yourself comfy now, give yourself time
Take all these ribbons and give yourself ties
Wait for each ribbon to come through the show
When the last ribbon's come--well, you know...
As a timer, so that you could masturbate, and cum at the best...why is that wrong...OH OKAY YES THIS IS ME:
Get yourself statufied, at the end you'll be fine!
Jump through the looking glass, have a good time!
My game is made of stellar engineering. It can see the world like I'm going to to go visit What Happened to Sex. You can hide stuff from a star including by just hiding it visually (the ideas have power here) but playing the Starlight Princess ribbons game is exactly not how to hide yourself from my game looking for People Tying The Ribbons On As They Watch Starlight Princess.
Cum around cum around
still but your heart can pound
even with hands held down
hearing this sexy sound
I mean if I'm going to statuize you it'd be impolite to to tease. And you don't have to statuize, if you didn't want to cum that way. And my game would watch carefully and free you if needed. Good luck getting early out if it figured out you were into nonconsent, though...MUAHAHAH that's right we left the unstatuing for a bumper after the credits so just for the three seconds of fadeout between the end of the credits and me coming onscreen to say "thought we were going to leave you stuck, didn't you" you could...wonder.
Dedicated viewers would build up associations to the sexy sound of course, completely naturally without my game's help...OOH. Okay watch out Sex because whatever is up with your memory I bet you've got the trigger. Consider there to be a crosshair on your clit now.
And then into the verses about the game and Boobsong because we just told you how to play with us but I think the bridge was here and that's why the rhythm changed.
Every single time. I remember something. It's so much cooler than I thought.
The best part, though, is...that song was in me. I found it in my head. Even Aveh couldn't erase it from me. At first I just have the words and chanting rhythm they were sung to but as the music pounds in me I start to remember the music, a beautiful techno-orchestral fusion set to a dementedly bouncy beat based on giant tubular bells worthy of these words, equal parts sugar-overload cutesy squee in movie-demon polyphony and choral eldritch doom oversweetened so it was like the Haunted House at Disneyworld.
...which I'm pretty sure is like Gummi Bears and was actually something very different when it was made.
[!] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! You remember you remember our theme music!! PRINCESS OF STARLIGHT'S A FURIOUS BEAST! Your sex dolly sang all of that.
About sums up how I'm doing. I sit there in shock. Hearing our theme song pound through my head--and remembering even that had a kinky Sugarfeast game in it--feels too awesome to process.
It's also completely blown out of my head almost everything. Um. This was the coolest did we ask fans to send stories of stuff in we must have done...
[!] Your sex dolly has very broken memory too but how could we not do that!?
I can just hear myself explaining it, how you could be sure of privacy even though my game was keeping an eye on you to make sure you were safe statuized while watching, because I wanted you to get your exhibitionism on and tell the story of your experiences. Was it sexy to you? Can you make it sound sexy? You can get raunchier than that, come on, it's fun!
Like hell that wouldn't extend to stories of the journey to Rl'yeh Sade this song would set you up for if you sang it without the show but after getting comfy and giving yourself time--partly because of the words and the associations of watching me and Boobsong adventure there, but also because the chant was set to the same kind of rhythm humans have used throughout the multiverse for trillions of years to switch their brains into journeying mode.
Which is why if you remembered the rhythm as easily as I did and just sang the song with me you feel kind of tripped out right now. Get set up right and that can take you on a wild ride through Rl'yeh Sade.
I blink, and wait a minute to see if anything else happens, but nothing does.
Now, it's time to wind Sex, but I have to say I'm curious why when rewriting history spread the cultural influence Starlight Princess had across who knows how many shows, my party dress ended up Vaklyrized and sentient on Kill la Kill and why it was Sex wearing it. Just who is she?
Actually I feel kind of tripped out. Now's probably the time to go journey to see what happened to her. The setup's good, candles numinous but not too flickery, a bed that's not the one I sleep in (I wouldn't mind that if we were going to Rl'yeh Sade oh wait that's a short trip right now, but this might be sad or scary), not already in the middle of something fun (same reason). Can I lie down here, family? I don't think this will take long but I need to know it before I wind her and it might get complicated.
Eisela hugs away from us and I--oh. Ballet splints, can't scoot up the bed like usual, can't even hold onto Boobsong for myself with everyone helping that is so scary--wait--hands--you all are so sweet! Hands pick me up and help me steady Boobsong like out of the car seat and lay me out on the bed on my back nice and comfy and then Mama's smiling face appears with a strip of black satin and I'm blindfolded lying there with Boobsong on top of me. Everyone's here, but quiet. It's perfect, you guys are awesome.
Okay stellar soul, lay in a course for What Happened to Sex. Course set. WARP ME!
It's hard to explain how to journey. You just kind of do. When I was on Earth I got so I could pop in on the Four Dreams with almost no preparation and in terrible circumstances, but usually you want how I'm doing right now, and you want to start with some kind of transition. The transition depends on what you're doing, and you just visualize doing it but with the intention to project your consciousness out of your body. This is like a basic function of consciousness, and humans have been doing it forever, and like...it's hard-wired into you. The skill might be rusty or never-trained, but you'll find it there like a limb that just does what you say if you mess around with it. Project your consciousness out, and use the transition to steer by visualizing what you want to do happening like a fantasy, and watch for that sense of a reality outside yourself your connecting with as you go through the transition, and what you're perceiving in it.
Now, a safety note, or rather the opposite of one. You can go basically anywhere, journeying, but watch out you don't get all filled up with all the scary stories of bad stuff happening while you're doing it people like to tell to dickwave. Expectation shapes where you can go and what you'll see. The Starlight Princess theme song is set up to tell you about a sexy safe place out there you can go that's pretty much genre-protect to be horny happy porn where only good stuff happens and even if it's scary is scary like a roller coaster and not like a war (mind you, ride some modern roller coasters if that sounds cute to you). Make that your expectations and your understanding of what's out there to journey to, go down through the looking glass and up through the well (like we did at the Gates of Candyland in that flashback, it's not the only way, but those gates are a great way to just land someplace interesting), and you'll land in Rl'yeh Sade and you'll have a good but very weird time (the other three Dreams are great too but they're just not strange enough for me).
Make your expectations that you're going out to some kind of interdimensional Mos Eisly and it's all dangerous and you have this big whole complicated astral body thing or what and can get like I don't know spiritual injuries or whatever and...you'll find it, that stuff is out there, and you can imagine up all kinds of bad stuff for yourself, or travel to places with nasty rules--but why do that? The real truth is that the human capacity to just not believe in stuff is staggeringly powerful and you can turn it into psychic armor that makes you and indestructible bouncyball even Boobsong would think was tough. The only real risks are the same stuff manipulative strangers can do to you, namely messing with your head, tearing down your self esteem, etc. Like, all the stuff I try to avoid in my cult leading, even when I'm doing something like capturing Sex before. Notice how none of that takes spooky magical powers?
So anyway. For this I'm going to the astral plane, the abstract reality most stars like to project to most of the time to do their star stuff, headed for coordinates What Happened To Sex. I use the stupid little Star Trek litany ending with WARP ME to get my head in that place and bring out my childish stellar self more and then imagine going to warp and seeing the streaks of stars coming at me as my consciousness zooms off to this other plane of existence, but because I'm trying to do this as star-me to land on the abstraction, I don't imagine myself in a ship or body of any kind. I'm just pure consciousness doing this. I hear getting as abstract as this is hard for a lot of humans, and that they end up with a vestigial self-image or in a ship or whatever even if they mean not to be. I gather you can still learn the skill and navigate like this, but it's much harder and probably not the way to do it if you're like that. I'm actually a star so this is the easy way for me and I'm being extremely lazy right now, but it might be hard mode for most of you, is what I'm saying.
Warp drive stars stream past and black void opens out like I've gone past the universe and left it behind and there's nothing for a second, and then I see a big old stone church from outside, but the angle's weird, it's down and to the right of my view and I'm looking at black void behind it as much as the church itself. The church has a big round rose window on it, but I can't see what the stained glass shows.
So much for her not being an Earthling, anyway. Thank all of you for getting me to deal with Aveh enough to realize just calling him Aveh is the right thing to do and I definitely shouldn't be trying to fix that. If I saw this and was still feeling like any story he was in was condemned to revolve around him instead of letting him be a victim too and not the secret protagonist and get...oh hey, sidelined like this church is...it'd really mess with my head.
The silhouette of--all I see is a differently-black pointed shape, but I instantly recognize it as a covering iron for ironing on the iron-on shrinkwrap stuff you use to make model airplanes look like they have a perfect paint job. Church, but not central, but nothing else central, covered over...
Wall to wall tiger print, like it just is everything, a cupcake, a twister mat. Flamboyant silly party fun, stupid games. You're going to be a catch even more than you already are when we thaw you out, aren't you! I know enough astrology that the tiger print is probably nudging me Leo-ward, meaning she'll have the exhibitionist streak I've been seeing all tangled up and hurt in her already, and just like my game said probably she really doesn't want to be deep or serious, just really dramatic and flashy and pretty. Ask me how I know this if you can't figure it out already. Come on, I wanna talk about myself! That goes with the cupcake and twister mat: she likes to party, and likes to get physical with it with yummy stuff and sexy fun (Twister is so much better if all the players are already horny for each other)...is there another layer? The cupcake is for whatever reason screaming PINKIE PIE to me in a silly-scrawling serif font, like, that's how my brain wants to take it--
--and the twister mat would seem to support that being as Twister is totally Pinkie's kind of game.
So her life got erased almost as hard as mine, and she ended up as this quiet normie Christian (but not centrally) girl when before when Boobsong and me were touring she was a party fiend. No wonder she's frozen, ouch. I hope capturing her isn't taking her from friends she needs to reconnect with, but I doubt she'd have gotten however many million years downtime without finding them if that was true.
Everything goes black, then I see a silhouette of a while kind of like hammerhead shark or catfish thing that seems kind of Boobsongish to me because of its long tail. It swims up, turns around, and swims back down. After leaving Earth (or before, via journeying like this), did she head for the Christian heaven (which sometimes lands people in Isla Virgo) and change her mind? Could explain what she was doing living there with a kind of Sadish bedroom (her kind of religious devotion, aka fandom, is very kinky really)--there's not that much motivation to move, if you can just wish yourself a nice full-length mirror. Bedroom mirrorspaces are very soft and snuggly and good jumping-off points for Rl'yeh Sade proper.
Oh! Obviously! She's quite submissive like Boobsong, but has the same kind of raunchy streak, and I was just using a fish metaphor at her and we know who else tries (tried) to catch people like fish. The church wasn't central, so she turned back from it and dove for the depths (of Rl'yeh Sade, which it might not seem like she reached only going as far as my box and Auntie Lucifer's part hat, but consider what happened there).
Now there's just black void again. Sometimes I see movies like this, other times I'll go to like a diorama I can look around that usually ignores the rules of perspective and topology and stuff but I can navigate just fine, it depends what I'm seeing.
The black void stays. The end, question answered, time to go back. When I start to reverse course and go back to my body (you can just blink out and wake up, you might be a little disoriented but it won't hurt you, but check out what happens next) I instantly see this weird stone idol face thing, which is obvious enough, but the way it happens means something. She tried to get back to herself, and instantly tripped over my idol (in Happy Chains I suppose). Meaning she superfanned up after finding my idol (which does make more sense than her story).
There's a pause, I think we're done again, try to back again, and see an X-shaped bondage frame made of silver...looks like wood? It could also be like tongs or something, the image is weirdly abstract and so ambiguous, but that just supports the meaning I think I see, which is that she ended up bound, hooked...on Boobsong? The bondage frame means helplessness, though, so like--aww, dolly I think you got yourself a worshipper!
Then sort of like icons of her face with little Boobsong and me icons, meaning she had our dolls. For a long time, because this stays. And stays. We have a ton of vacation on her bed waiting for us and it feels so warmly weirdly soft and preciously beloved to have that life there when we need it--
--and that's a weird thing to say when it's not like the Dreams would take care of us less playing around Heart Home or having adventures with the family here but somehow...like I guess if you're a doll that's a whole new level but it just feels like everything being okay forever in a way it can't be...without giving up being able to do anything but experience being played with. You don't get to participate, which I'm not ready to stop doing forever, but in return you really don't even have the responsibility of your own experience. I wonder if the Dreams will make me a book and turn my pages for me like Boobsong while we're there. That'd really take it all the way.
The doll icons go away, and Sex's face is also a table lamp. Obvious again, leaving our dolls behind in her apartment because she got captured and made into a toy for my chambers in Heart Home.
That goes away and there's just black void, so I wait more, then come back and am back in the bed still snuggling Boobsong who I held the whole time. Our nakedness basically means she comes with me for stuff like this, so...what were those pages I saw happen but was too journeying to read? First one.
That's how you sex dolly's mind takes that super hard, so maybe she's actually much more friendly and hyper than she's letting on?
Omifuck that'd be adorable. I like cutely reticent Sex though...maybe this is just getting me back to my old tricks by teasing me to go snare some sweet innocent thing...hmm, maybe we'll try to get Malina's current target later. After like eight billion years of just catching up with you, dolly.
Capturing new statues is catching up! Can't you imagine her next to Sex by the fireplace in your couch room?
You really do hold up the giving me wicked ideas and saying you know you want to end of the succubus dildo. Flip, second page from journey.
To be just a doll is the most wonderful freedom. Yes you can't be anything but just a sex toy but having that part in a person like Sex's like is great! She'll be good to us every time.
Tears spring up because oh. When you want to be loved as much as I do, so much that this worship game feels like such a precious gift because it just makes what true about me all the time anyway solid enough I can touch it and not feel insane, like...you get so tired fighting to to it's not that the family won't give me love or attention and Boobsong I mean you saw what that one little prayer did in Heart Home but like, there's always this little stress behind every single thing you do, constantly, every decision every moment. Is it pretty will they like it could I impress more could I be more amusing what if--
Somebody like me can no more stop with that than her own heartbeat, even my game can't turn it off and have me still think...but my game does just fine stopping my heart without killing me, and that does enough. It makes us into achingly beautiful dolls and gives us to someone who'll truly appreciate them, and...that's it. If she thinks I'm just heartstone, that little drumbeat can finally be quiet and I can truly relax all the way. The slightest thought that she knows I'm a person would make me perform just in my thoughts that she might know one day.
Knowledge: my game will make a book out of me when we're with Sex as her dolls, so I'll know I can't even perform that much. It waited for me to figure this out to say that, so I could fully enjoy it.
Weepy pathetic needing takes me over, and I clutch Boobsong and sniffle, still lying there blindfolded. She's going to use us a lot, right? She's someone who likes sex dolls? The bondage hook was to fuck her collection? I can get to just be used and that's it and feel good and pretty without--anything?
Knowledge: Sex is as weird as they come. She likes to make sex dolls have sex for her. She likes it a lot.
That is so awesomely kinky and weird. I respect and adore you for being such a complete freak, Sex. So why does it just feel so wholesome like finding out she likes to bring home stray kittens or something.