Princess Starlight and the Bodice Ripper

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It started out like any other episode. Open our eyes in a strange place in Paradise, Boobsong here with her nose for kinky adventure sees something interesting, follow it into the dark and something cool happens--

 ...alright. I guess if I forgot they sure will have. Introduce yourself, dolly.

Hey everyone, this is Boobsong the Succubus, Princess Starlight's heartchild (that's a way to say this Boobsong is Princess' fantasies come to life) and very devoted sidekick in our TV show Starlight Princess. Which you forgot, but if even the host and sidekick forget, how can you remember?

It was all so familiar. Follow the plot Paradise would make us play out, have a good time, return with crazy kinky adventures to make into the TV show that'd show our fans how to find their way to paradise through the magic of horny, horny television.

Yes Paradise is horny and kinky as fuck. I did say Paradise, not the Heaven your great aunt Gertrude believes in. It's made of Love, as a cosmic force, not run by some guy with a big white beard. Love is bigger than any one person, so Paradise has something really everyone, even a kinky Princess and her Succubus Sidekick. 

Except everything was weird. 

My memory was Swiss cheese so bad I can't even make up a candy swear to describe it, and Boobsong's was just as bad. I didn't even recognize my own Auntie, let alone the meaning of the new playmate following Boobsong's instincts lead us to right away.

Instead of the vague distant awareness of my body lying in our bedroom in the back of our tour bus on Earth while Boobsong and I astrally projected, I seemed to think I was just there, which should have been wonderful news, except it meant I must have died in failure, because I could only remember finding sixty-five of the sixty-nine monoliths hidden throughout paradise that for reasons I couldn't remember only Boobsong and I could activate, that'd hack Earth's locked-closed universe and open a portal directly to paradise, putting an end to Earth's cycle of war and suffering forever.

Worse (because there was still some chance of finding those monoliths), I wasn't me anymore. My head was filled up with nightmares from a crazy, fucked up adventure that ended with something so insane I think I literally blacked out from it, that I seemed to think was reality before this, instead of lying down in the back of our tour bus to astrally project with Boobsong to explore Paradise for ideas for the next episode of our show, or having finally broken myself trying to open the worldgate (which is the most likely thing to have killed me, and would explain why my head is wrecked). I felt old and exhausted and instead of being the candy bimbo who can't stop trading dick jokes with her lust-demon sidekick and never says fuck where she can say fizzbubbling cum-flavored freezerpops, I was...this. Angst and sadness and way too much thinking for someone who never aspired to be the brains of this whole thing. 

Even worse, my memory seemed to be written over by a nightmare world where magic never existed and everything Boobsong and me worked so hard for never happened. I don't know how I got out of that. Or anything much about it, it's like that's ground zero of the crater my memory was, but you can't hardly blame me, since just for a start I was turned into a boy in that life.

We had some fun with our new playmate, before we realized, and my Auntie managed to get me to remember her after a bit, and I got a spanking I really needed, but after that...even Paradise didn't seem to be itself. You don't expect the kinky home for monsters part of it called Rl'yeh Sade not to be scary, but this wasn't like that. Something seemed off and only Boobsong and me seemed to notice. 

It was supposed to be my birthday, we found out, but only after astrally projecting to one custom-built nightmare after another to rescue the polycule I'd forgotten I even had, over and over to get all seven of them, did I understand I was never going to get to my party until Paradise and my friends and family and fans like, maybe, you, finished dragging me (and Boobsong, who loyally followed me there) kicking and screaming back from the hell I was carrying with me.

This isn't how we usually do things, but Starlight Princess was always about showing our fans the way to paradise, and I guess now the way is clawing your way back from forgetfulness and nightmares and trying to just crack your eyes open enough that when Paradise rubs the ashes out of them, you'll be able to see the stars again.

...and it still has a happy ending. By the end of this there's pizza and a lesbian ninesome about to happen. It's just a hell of a ride getting there.



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