25 - Tabletop Games

No because it doesn't work like that I know what you feel and what you think which is all of you but your senses make you feel and think things so if you're reading I know you saw the words and what they looked like but your cock in me just makes you feel horny and think you have to be careful right now because being naked makes you hornier and this could make you cum too fast eep sorry Mommy I see now.

Then you also see how happy it makes me. I gulp and feel teary as I feel the boundary between thinking at her and just being myself and letting her see me starts to break down, as evidenced by this thought.

I'm enjoying the way the Mark and the game denude me for Rada's enjoyment, and the way the game seems to always have my number is on the same level, but those are campfires while you seeing me thinking this just piece-of-my-internal-monologue thought snugglebutt is the primordial source from which all Big Bangs spring.

I love being naked to you and I love you so much!

I love you too Goddess and bwaha Big Bangs that's awesome!

Goddess I really like commenting on things you're thinking do you like me to do it?

My tear-ducts are spinning free on the clutch as my heart tries to squeeze tears from them. Yes I fucking do like it but you're loyal and obedient and not going to do anything unless I decide to command you like the good cocksleeve you are so yes, do it, when it occurs to you.

Okay, let's have a look at these goals--the game interrupts:

To dismiss it, intend that. The list cannot be stuck or impinge on your vision continuously. Try it now.

I'm a JRPG protagonist once again, with a single button to press to advance, which I do, and the list vanishes, unread.

Did you catch any of that, cocksleeve?

Yes I caught all of it Mommy.

I didn't get to read it, though? Doesn't the way you work mean going through me you rely on my symbol decoding?

No you can think in words and emotions and also see pictures with your head and I can see them if you can.

Doesn't that mean other senses should be like that too? I can imagine how your breasts would taste...

No Goddess because imagination is part of the visual cortex because there's so much work to be able to see stuff inside your head like it uses--Goddess it's like 3dfx you need a 3D accelerator to be able to see stuff with you eyes to be able to understand all the information but the same thing happens reversed to be able to imagine visually you have to use the visual cortex again and that means that sense specifically just vision is part of the part of you that's naked to me because your imagination is definitely part of your self. That means when you see things I can get the image out of your visual cortex but not sense things that don't make it have images."

You drippy little nerd. Great explanation. Okay, read it off to me.

Priority, Goal, Rewards

Top, Give Blowjob to Stranger By Enticing Visually Without Verbal Interaction, Game causes hair growth to make thicker head-mane

Top, Make twelve separate changes to physical appearance to enhance your performance visually when displaying yourself, When going down on a very thick cock your jaw can dislocate comfortably

Gah! Actually wait, what's wrong with my hair? Is it like thin or something? Your nectar made me look like myself, didn't it? It feels awesome!

The mirror-trio is still right over there, millions of miles away... 

Goddess it's big and fluffy and fun and pretty the game is giving you options. Nectar won't change you like that because it's not part of you to be any fluffier than you are now but it might be something you might do to make people look at you more.

My heart leaps as the game steps in to make me think word-by-word for a while.

This means it can just put my mind directly to the things it wants me to know, and wrap me around them! Sexy!

The goal system has enough goals to keep me busy eternally, and the goals it gives me are goals for where I'm at now, which means they can be modified or deleted if the game decides to. I shouldn't try to keep goals for long periods--long-term intervention is something else, and uses other ways of handling me, to keep me in the childlike state where I can enjoy being controlled with abandon. I should expect to be unable to engage in long-range planning and expect the game to keep me from it by disengaging my clutch.

This predicament will be one of the longest activities I'll be able to generate a plan for. If interest in an activity or project persists, I'll be able to keep going, but I can't plan months in advance.

If the game sees fit it can set the priorities to force me to act on a goal. After setting a goal, either the game will change what the goal is, remove that goal, or eventually compel me to achieve it. If the game changes priorities it tells me immediately. Top priorities are required to be fulfilled if nothing else preempts them, and have no chance of being removed or changed.

Having only the ability to plan activities out to four hours from the present allows the game to keep top priorities easy to complete by making sure they can take precedence over anything else I'm doing. This is so that I can be sure that if I see a top priority in my goals list, I'll be completing it very soon, and can expect to have my clutch prevent any motion that isn't bringing me towards a top priority when one is in my goals list. 

The game may make appointments for me. I am never allowed to make them for myself. Again, this keeps time out of my ability to use as a way of escaping completing the goals the game sets for me, and allows the game to schedule goals dynamically. The game will never allow it to be me who asks for or proposes an appointment. My clutch will always prevent me if I try.

Now the game will help me feel the restriction this constraint places on me by putting the question of when it should ask Rada to aid us if I find I can't reach orgasm in this predicament again. How long should it wait before asking her to help us?

The game gives me a sense of my feelings, showing me the balance of pain and pleasure, the way my arms are tiring, how horny I'm feeling, and how much I want the information I can get this way. I have a pretty good idea that I can probably last, if I push myself, and rely on Lyra to be magic, about one or two hours before things start to put us in danger of me going soft from the suffering. I think carefully, and feel sure of this estimate, and feel strongly determined to be sure to push us to get the most information--and spend the most time in this amazing statue pose--possible.

Two hours is the decision I'll make (it feels so good to have the game choose for me and be confident it's being me for me how I would be if I could!).

The game expresses the choice of two hours and fifteen minutes as my decision, and even as the game itself tries to execute my choice for me, with an adjustment it made to optimize the outcome, my clutch spins free. I'm powerless to even ask, and the game may not be able to even offer wishes unless it would have anyway.

Understanding how far the game is capable of going to ensure top-priority goals are achieved is necessary to feel how important they are. They sometimes may seem silly, or unnecessary, but that is only the game ensuring I don't take myself seriously. Everything I've been trying to accomplish in the game so far has been a top priority goal, so the goals list isn't useful yet, because the game will just act to make me complete each of the goals in order of priority.

Now the game is telling me about the things I can and can't do for myself. Lyra described the basics of this to me, but I haven't understood the implications or seen how the game can use these restrictions to form the life I lead. The game will require me to always have Lyra present to take care of myself--she's made to be a personal slave, so the game is accounting for that relationship by making me depend on her. Because Lyra will be how I normally accomplish basic procedures there isn't any motivation for the game to give me the ability to do more than the most basic functions like flipping my hair back or putting finger-candy in my mouth. This will be important should I have a clothing-dom who likes to see me wear lingerie that interferes with freedom of movement, but the actual significance of it is that I can be held with things in my hands I'm not able to set down. The game will be able to make objects I'm carrying part of my identity by preventing me from ever being able not to have them in my hands. One example would be for a riding-crop like toy in the form of a fairy's magic wand to be given to me as part of the inheritance being kept in trust for me while I was living on Earth as a changeling. The game will be arranging its arrival soon, and retrieving my inheritance is a top-priority task because my fairy princess clothing and artifacts will be very fun to play with. When it's been returned to me, I will be required to carry it at all times. The game will be able to enforce this if Lyra can take care of everything having my hand occupied would prevent me from doing, and it will be able to make me keep the other hand empty to be used for playing with other toys or Lyra's body. My ability to use any other items depends on their ability to be played with as toys, or Lyra has to help me. The game includes food in its definition of a toy depending on my intentions for it, and this can be applied to other items as well, such as the tools to build model airplanes--though Lyra has to be the one to clean up the leftover materials and organize my workbench after I'm done with them. I can only pick them up from their containers, and lay them down conveniently, not clean up after myself.

The game is going to tell me my creative urges are vital for my wellness, because I have the tendency to quash them and need to be reminded they're important and held while the game uses control of the kind its shown me to make me express them.

Because I'm nobility, the game will be especially strict in preventing me from using or owning anything that isn't luxurious enough, except when sentimental value overrides luxury. Without economic factors limiting what I can buy, this is more an issue of taste than practicality, but the game is going to have me ask Rada while choosing the payment for my prostitution earlier to make sure I understand the economic implications before deciding. The game as promised earlier will make sure any aesthetic choices I make match with the background I've come from. Fairy aesthetics will be obvious in my inheritance, and Rada has a children's book with inspiration as well.

The game will now be temporarily having me stop for long enough to process what it's told me.

My mind is my own again, but...it's rapturous, like being locked in a safe little room containing exactly what I need to be happy and okay at the moment. The only thing I can do is process what I've heard, no other thoughts exist.

First comes excited intimidation knowing that the two Top Priority Goals Lyra got to read me are up shortly, probably right after this, and that the game is just gong to make me--though, to my surprise I can't help but scheme about seducing a stranger into letting me please their cock. Maybe the blowjob couple from the aftercare deck feel horny? The seemed to think I was attractive--wait, was I a boy then? It's a bit of a blur.

Gently pulled out of my mind and safely kept for later because it's not what I'm processing right now is the corollary curiosity as to whether my finding any appeal in this means I'm actually bi, and the ironic thought that being hit with such a quotidian sexual revelation would make a nice intermission from the sweetly-Lovecraftian roller-coaster I'm presently on.

I'm seriously supposed to literally be a fairy princess now? I didn't mean take that exact example, game! I'm not upset about it, but if the game is trying to make me feel silly it's working.

The game takes my mind over momentarily, so I'll realize that just because I picked the example randomly, doesn't mean I didn't do so because it had subconscious significance to me, and now shows me how the promised aesthetic and behavioral control it's putting on me are consistent with reminding a noble child who's been brought up in lower-class circumstances how to act their rank, and it proposed these restrictions while it was telling me I was the angelic weapon made in Atlantis, which wouldn't be consistent with those games--and which story I rejected vociferously, even after being manipulated into experiencing it as real. I'm acting very differently towards the fae nobility backstory, and unlike the Virgin of Atlantis backstory, the game is claiming physical evidence of my being this fairy princess is about to be put in my hands, literally. The character it's been acting to create overall would actually be plausible as the scion of a fairy kingdom, without assigning me undue significance--for instance, maybe fairies are vain and inflate the importance of their holdings, and I'm no more than the child of an average middle-class fairy family, but still officially a 'princess' in fairy culture. Finally, demons appear conclusively to be real, which precludes the materialist argument that mythological humanoid magical beings are a priori impossible.

It's always a little sad when the game lets go of me from that state...also, could I move, I--well, I'd choke on the cum in my mouth, but I'd do it because I was trying to burst into a properly fae fit of giggles: I can't believe you managed to actually make this the plausible option you clever fucking bastard.

Now what is up with all this about appointments and time and stuff? Not that I mind never having to be on time for anything again, but I'm already working with the weird mushiness of time here I don't understand at all really, and the tiny time horizon and inability to make even the most basic commitments or plans brings a naked-feeling, childlike vulnerability I suspect is going to feel like falling off a mountaintop when I actually feel it for real, but even with all of that it seems like the game is making an unduly or suspiciously big deal of this part of things, and I'm afraid of its capacity to make appointments for me without my input, afraid it will use that power to keep me from the structureless expanse of free time these rules are teasing me with--I can't rationally imagine a thing Lyra built doing that, but...rational is really starting to slip down the priorities as a way of evaluating my reality. I'm scared game aah please make me feel better if you can do it without lying.

Word by word the game is directing me again and I curl mentally into a safe happy kid held in its embrace. I would think of it like that if I had the courage to be myself so that's how the game directs me.

Yes, time is supremely significant in how the game kindly makes me childlike, without taking out the ability to have the emotionally grown-up relationship with Lyra I want and need to have with her. It's choosing my words carefully to make sure I understand this--these thoughts make me feel younger by using simpler vocabulary, which the game thinks feels tender to be relaxed enough inside to try, and is going to make me use even when my mind is under my own choice of thoughts, by keeping my thoughts still if it thinks I'm trying to think in big words just because it makes me feel smart and strong. I still can have my friends like isomorph, and remember what they mean, but I have to be smaller when I think unless there's no other way I can think things.

The game is planning to keep my schedule clear most of the time. It thinks scheduling an appointment with me will be something that rarely ever happens, and promises the childhood-summer feeling I want is what it's going to give me, most of the time it's playing me.


--free mind but--

--spinning clutch--

Thinking is kind of hard now but feels better! I sound more like me. Feel I mean.

I'm still not satisfied that I know why the game is so intense about time but I feel better and hopeful for that childhood-summerlong thing.

Having to use Lyra for a personal slave more often sounds great! This is like the time thing because not being able to clean up after myself and only able to use my hands on toys and Lyra makes me feel...childlike, I guess, that's not quite right though, the game keeps calling that but it's not regressing me exactly...

It's so helpless. I can clean up after myself! I can put my tools away!

Except whether I'm able has nothing to do with it, and I actually can't now.

Also like the time thing, I'm dead sure I'm still missing what the game is actually making such a big deal over, and that it's working me up slowly to whatever it is in both cases.

Maybe I'll just be surprised how much they change my life.

...no, there's probably a clue in how we started talking about the way it's making me think like this, when I asked about that. Something about p--spinning clutch that word is too grown-up sounding--something about how being kept from using things you usually use constantly changes stuff a lot. I notice how I have to sound like a kid and be under a kid's--spin--umm...have so many things that aren't allowed for me, but it never says I should play make believe that I am one, or Lyra is (as childlike as she already is).

I'm still sure you're up to something and you aren't telling me everything about what, game!

Held. Yes, it is, and I only get to know how much it tells me now. The rest it's going to show when able. Petted. Set down.

Able is a weird thing to say. I was ready to believe this thing could literally kill god before, and I still do. Lyra wouldn't bat an eyelash if that's what she thought it needed to be a good present. We must be waiting for the right situation.

The thing about creativity makes me feel so warm and cared-for. I can't wait for it to force me to make something, and lead me word-by-word all the way through. That's when I want to feel controlled more than any other time, I think, surprised.

It's still also going to let me be creative without being controlled too, right?

Yes, the game says.

As for fairy aesthetics, hell yes is all there is to say. Purse, look as close to being entirely covered in diamonds as possible. The Oath of the Vidmaster floats through my mind, and I resolve in this to never shoot where I could use grenades, indeed. If understood before to be able to even pick them up I'll need to find some lace-and-sparkles SNES hardware and cut my next plane's bulkheads with a ruby-studded Xacto-knife, but...that's awesome and fills me with a weird euphoria. If I'm obnoxiously gaudy with nothing but my assets and these scraps of lingerie, wait till you see what happens when I get my inheritance, Rl'yeh Sade!

Damn you, game, for doing so well at making fairy princess the plausible option. Changelings are even known for randomly disappearing back to fairy, which I suppose you could claim I've just done if the Four Dreams are "fairy". Fairies are even known for debauchery and twisted games, and motherfucking check on that score right now--the nectar is starting to diffuse out of the cum inside me and into my body, leaving that in my mouth tasting more and more plainly-cum-like...and...changing something? That's all I can tell.

Actually, Danger Will Robinson Warning. Does accepting a fairy princess' inheritance come with any kind of strings attached (even if just in the form of people who will thereby decide I am indeed this figure of undefined political significance), or "interesting" responsibilities (like, say, dragon eggs: I've already got the best impossibly-devoted draconic companion ever, don't need another) as part of the inheritance? Or you know, like, debts?

Yes the Bones, but...game?

The game fills me with knowledge: fairy princess inheritance doesn't mean anything I'll get stuck in a web of politics for, or have to take care of, and because the game controls me, I can't have enough agency to be able to sign contracts or make agreements like fairies are famous for controlling people with.

It can't be bargained with, so I'm safe that way where I might be tricked into something (though the Bones would keep me from being tricked that way too, with the exception that they think the game is my happy ending forever and it can be expected to make me be trapped however it wants).

Oh! This is part of why the appointments thing is happening!

The game makes my mind think under its control again. Yes, because it wouldn't be appropriate for me to have the ability, because the game is in control like a parent is in control of their kid. The game is my guardian, which is how I actually got taken by it, way back in my room when Lyra showed me how to talk to it, though it didn't actually take control until I was changing, because that was the earliest it knew I would be able to learn it existed, without being so afraid it would make me freak out, and the Bones saw and told it to take control--its designed so it can't be in control of me without their saying yes because Lyra couldn't stop worrying she was wrong about this.

The reason it's making me sound like a kid and feel like a kid is so it will be real to me that I have the agency and freedom of a kid, and my guardian doesn't believe I should be given any more agency than it is giving me.

I'm not a submissive like Lyra, so it's not right for me to be contained by being owned like a slave, but I can be charged, like a kid, to my guardian, like how I am now, and both of those mean the person in them is like, not free to say they give all or part of anything about themselves to anything, like Lyra couldn't give herself to me as a Christmas present, even though that would have been sooo cute. The difference between a slave-owner and a guardian is the guardian also has to be taking care of their charge's well-being, not using them for their advantage like me not doing to Lyra would make her sad. So my guardian, can't let me be part of stuff like contracts, and can't use or sell me or do anything but take care of my well being which thanks to its designer means making sure Lyra and I have lots of time playing however we want to play. I can't be allowed to do things that would take up time or energy my guardian's duty is to make sure get spent on my well-being, which is why it thinks I don't need to be scared of it making lots of appointments.

Rada got to spank me because that was good for my sexual development. She had to pay full price and bargain because the game was telling me I'm valuable and worth paying to be allowed to play with. Prostitution is a way it can use to remind me of that, or make me feel nice and precious, which it thinks I need to often.

...and also the surest proof yet of who designed this thing, heh. Nice touch, cocksleeve. I'll think of you next time it's negotiating how much my ass costs.

Mommy I'm so happy you like that part I was so scared about it I said it really should just make her feel pretty and wanted and these limits will make sure she only gets sold to hot people who play nicely by using her ways she'll like, but prostitution on Earth is so dangerous and horrible I didn't know if you could see it wouldn't be like that.

I think this last smiling inside, and mean it, which is still weird.

The game picks my mind up again, to tell me how prostitution will only help when I get affirmation out of it like now, and to remember I'm in its care and not allowed to offer myself for sale, regardless of how attractive the bargain or client. Lyra is mine for the taking any time I want her, and I can be given to partners it picks for me, and I can exhibit myself until everyone in the Four Dreams can see me, but offering or giving myself to be played with isn't my prerogative. Doing that is promising, making an agreement, becoming party to a contract, even one as simple as "you can touch me until I say stop".

That's such a tease, though! I've been like this barely a couple of hours and I'm already such a slut I'm excited about the idea of offering a blowjob to some random stranger!

Yes, the game tells me, it's trying to make sure I can be such a slut I won't be able to trust myself to choose partners.

Fuck. I guess that's good reason for this, then.

Except...if I'm this...deep...and I can't trust myself to pick partners, can I still validly say Lyra is still, even if she's there for me and loves me every bit as much, mine? That's really important to me, and I know, her too. How can this work around it?

Goddess yes if I wasn't truly yours literally like the crop you own apparently I'd be heartbroken!

My cock pounds inside her to hear the need in her voice.

The game picks my head up and thinks about how if I'm this deep Lyra can still be my property, so I feel that it's holding me tightly because I might be wiggly and fidget and I can't be allowed to be fidgety right now. The idea that she can't belong to me without my being wise or adult enough isn't true of any of the toys that belong to me on Earth. They're mine, because they're appropriate for the age at which I got them. Lyra may seem like she needs careful, precise care from an experienced dominant, but actually she's a child's toy, like she described to me when she told me about playing along with me and having pages and being simple, so she can belong to me just like my other toys. There won't be any possibility of the game taking her away from me, because she specifically designed it to never do that, obviously, but also because her subspecies of su'khora, the luxhi'khora our seed-ghost described, binds permanently to its host, and her being taken out of me would destroy both our souls, which would not be toward my well-being.

Knowledge arrives now, another multiple-choice the game is offering:

1. Find out how the game intends to use its ability to keep my mind still as with my physical clutch for more than just keeping me thinking like a kid when I have the ability to decide what I think about.

2. Go on exploring how the game works overall.

3. Tell Lyra to make me orgasm.

Tough choice. In the circumstance, having Lyra start getting me off is even more appealing than usual...and also not. This whole setup is so raunchy! There's something so satisfying us about being frozen here like this, a sexy house of cards desperately keeping my cum from bukakke-ing the entire room by holding it in our kiss where it tastes more and more cummish by the moment.

I meant what I said, though. The game's running me so closely I can't know when I'll get to again, so...#1 is alluring, but I can guess the generalities: it's going to micromanage my thought process to shape me into this character who's my actual self, etc.

Knowledge, quick: that's not at all what it means.

Do I get to know what will happen after 1 if I choose 1, game?

Knowledge: no.

Game, decide for me between 1 and 2. I don't want to cum yet.

My mind stops moving for me and starts moving for the game, because it's choosing 2.

The game comes in five systems that have different things they do to me.

First, is the major plans system. This manages things like making it possible for me to feel free enough to just be childlike and let the game control me. The plans are entirely backgrounded, so they aren't things it's my prerogative to ask or see, but sometimes it will tell me if it would help me feel more free of responsibility. An example is the plan to make me so slutty the game has to choose my partners for me. That's all I can know about the major plans system, unless it tells me more without being asked to.

Next, it has the power to make me play by coercing me through the command system. The command system uses things like my clutch to force me to do things exactly as the game requires, and is also a pleasure toy that plays with feelings of helplessness. Ontological engineering like the abstract weapon I saw in Limbo gives it infinitely many ways of controlling me, according to the situation. The system I'm being told this by is the command system being the brain-interface I feel making my thoughts move. It can be many things at once, which is how I also am frozen in the pose I have to stay in right now.

The command system is totally enslaving me, always--I don't move in and out of it's power, it just starts and stops using it. I can ask it any time to show it has control of all of my faculties or any particular part of me. I can ask it to be gentle or rough with me, without changing the power of the control it has over me--rough treatment just can be helpful to show me I'm controlled by it when I feel especially hungry to be powerless.

The command system doesn't need to be physical, but I can ask it to manifest physical restraints and control me that way instead of invisibly. This only works for physical restraint, because my clutch and mind control have to be ghosts to work properly. Physical restraint can take any form, is made to be beautiful and make me feel beautiful, according to Lyra's understanding of my aesthetic. She hopes I will like it.

Goddess I didn't know you were trans but your seed-ghost kept telling me to make sure it could be shiny and sparkly not just BDSM leather and I listened and I was SO CONFUSED but now that you're a girl I can see why so it still will match you I just didn't think you would ever use the girly stuff and yes I hope you like it!

It's soft and helpless to have the game choose words for my response to Lyra, but it says the thing I would say: I bet I'm going to love it, pet pussy. Maybe I'll ask it to show itself when we get out of this predicament...if we ever do, that is.

The next system is the goal system we talked about already. It works with the major plans system to create toy quests for me to chase after. The quests don't necessarily mean anything. I never can know if they do, except the reward will be given exactly as described to me, and the system tries to have fun with me no matter what its actual task is. Because the quests don't always mean anything, I'm forced be childlike and accept that I might be just doing what I'm doing for fun. Even the Top Priority Goals only have ulterior motives sometimes. Because the goals should be treated as fun activities and not part of a big fancy plan for me, the game can keep me from trying to see what's behind them by any means it needs to use, and I can be told lies to keep me from guessing by making goals it won't let me accomplish before the goal system takes them away.

Next is the Lesson System. It trains me to be the happiest, freest self I can be in this game. The way it trains me is always through desire, not making me afraid. It made me desire to be the person I found while Rada was spanking me by guiding me in being her, and challenging me to try it myself, and rewarding me when I did well. I can use the Lesson view to see lessons it's teaching that I'm allowed to know its teaching me, how to be better at learning them, and why it won't let me be good at some things--to keep from making it seem like I'll ever grow out of being childlike and needing to be held, I can't be allowed to be good at some things, and the game will keep me from learning them, or teach lessons that make me get worse to keep me the size I should be. I can rely on the game to be kind to me, but when it needs me to stop being good at things I'm going to stop having to be good at them too so if it's taking a skill away I know the game will take care of me where not being good at that skill makes me need it. The skill that's being taken away from me right now is knowing how to take care of appointments so the game isn't letting me use the parts of me that are good at that. When that skill is gone it will let me try to keep some appointments to show me I need to be held in that now.