56 - Scent of a Woman
In my head, there's a fork in the road. The sign for one is a talks about the numbers being made up, the engineering that could build this Arwing to say nothing of just shapeshifting a Galaxy-class starship into being (to say nothing of whatever that madness was with 'Andross'), how at this point in history or atemporal whatever time even is here it's like the price of aluminum in denarii, on and on into tinier and tinier letters.
The other just reads, 'I AM SUCH A WHORE' and has a stupid slippery when wet joke I'm too embarrassed to acknowledge.
Game push me for the fun one I'm going to miss the exit!
Knowledge: I'm already super wet from this, and I know about the context. Remember that when Rada gives me fancy toys and sexy jewelry, her giving me this jacket made me wet despite the context, that's how I know how big a whore I am.
Yeah, that works. Fuck. Why am I like this?
I snuggle into the jacket's sexy lining, and pull Lyra up against me. Out the canopy, we're following--fuck it fine Mommy's ship faithfully.
Cocksleeve is it weird for you to have me call her Mommy, when I'm your Mommy?
No Mommy, why, should it be?
I don't know you silly, that's why I'm asking!
I don't think it should be, because I can't be your Mommy, and I already have your keeper role because your game does, and have you raped to fuck me, and I think you can only live with Rada as your girlfriend because she feels about Isht Visht the same way you feel about me which is that she has to be with Isht Visht first and foremost always and she needs you to believe that she loves you but also know her heart belongs to Isht Visht like yours belongs to me, Mommy.
I still think your superintelligence didn't actually go away. I can't believe it, but it's true, I like all these leashes, but they are going to get tangled if this keeps up!
Oh Mommy, they're all completely different! I'm your cocksleeve. My leash is super simple you just always have to fuck me to have an orgasm. In everything else I serve you and you hold my leash! Literally, most of the time!
Then the game I made's your keeper. I say that's your real leash, because it keeps you nonconsensually and takes care of all your needs and keeps held in super bondage whenever you aren't doing stuff like we are now.
Then Rada's your Mommy! Mommy's not the same with me and you as Mommy and her seedling. You're not Rada's seedling that I know of! She just likes to shower you with presents and confident power and see how wet she can make you with her strong and sexy performance and have you beg for fucking with your eyes and body language.
If you're trying to help her make me horny it's working...good cocksleeve though.
And sweet devoted loyal little...snuggly sweet pussy-brain, you know if I tried to do what we just did--
I don't want you to think of it like that Mommy I'm you're cocksleeve! How can you be my whore? Anyway the value of your cum for all eternity should definitely charge me lots of interest before I can possibly work hard enough to give you enough whoring so I guess we must be even. See, it doesn't feel right, does it? I'm your cocksleeve made to serve you and that's the only thing I'll be and you can't make me be anything else no matter how you try I just can't even do it.
It...really doesn't! Okay, cocksleeve you are forever.
Cocksleeve how much do you think you and me have in common as subs? Like...I do want to beg her for fucking so she'll enjoy me good, but...I think I feel like you do because I don't like I wouldn't mind fucking her like her pussy was nice and I want to see what she can do with it when she is being a nice girlfriend, but if it's not that, like, how do I be seductive and say 'rape me', but like, it kind of doesn't count once you say that, and I think I'm so picky I'd even feel like being seductive would do it! Do you relate to any of that?
So Mommy you know what being wet feels like? It's just so completely helpless, isn't it? Rada makes you feel just like I do to you I can watch and see you feel it. If you want to make her rape you, you kind of can't do anything! That's why cocksleeves are passive and can't have free will. You kind of can't do anything but let your Owner use you! Even my seduction is from you giving orders, and I definitely really do mean to be seductive, but I can't be the reason I'm seducing, or I don't get the feeling you get when Rada takes you! That's why you feel so passive. You have to let her take you to get the feeling Rada giving you this jacket makes you want to feel with her. You have to let her make you sexy, the way she wants to see you sexy, which I bet this jacket makes you, because she changed it to be slutty and not just made it fit you. It can close across your breasts but your nipples will peep out because there's panels without padding, did you notice? I think she wants to see you looking slutty always. I know that's very helpless Mommy but Rada's smart and knows what she wants out of her trophy. I'm sure that you'll be fucked by her so often you forget to even think about trying to seduce her.
Fuck. It's just like this ride. I can theoretically move, but...does the helpless feeling make you more wet too?
Come inside the jacket with your arms before you answer this stuff rules.
Sssslide my arms all slow and gropey up under jacket...hhaah I see what you mean Mommy!
Yes Mommy that's the wettest. Sitting here and knowing you might take me or you might just hold me and keep on asking questions or make me listen to your heart while you just lie here it's just so sexy knowing you can just control me!
I just look at her a minute, feeling the hole where a joke about "if you're trying to get played with it's working" would be, but I don't make it, because she's not. She's singing with with the same wet soft wanting I feel for Rada, but she's exactly not trying to get played with.
It feels like this stuff should change everything about how I relate to her. I'm definitely going to try to show her what Rada showed me. I sure don't lack that desire...but...
...you should listen to my heart anyway, that's romantic and your head is very snuggly. Get in here.
Shift down nuzzle into cleavage hot it's hard to breath now find heart ear there. Thudthudthud hehe Mommy likes this.
Aww forehead petting!
My breasts are hard with milk by now--Isht Visht had better dive for me the moment I'm aboard or in our house or whatever--but her face still feels amazing soft and warm with kissy little nubs of nose and lips and eyelashes nuzzling me.
All this stuff...aren't relationships like this so toxic? Aren't people supposed to like, talk and stuff?
The prophecy is making everything all crazy because we all think our family will exist like this for long enough to do something time travel or something but yes usually people talk more but you can still negotiate being a trophy and having to just be passive and wait for Mommy to make you wet and then take you. There doesn't have to be negotiation every moment!
Yeah, that. I keep forgetting it. It has to be real just because it made Rada and me feel like we've been married for--I don't know, like this is a honeymoon and forever and it's all messed up. I believe the prophecy because nobody but us or maybe seed-ghosts could push our buttons like this. I mean right? I fell in love with her in like literally an hour and no I don't count the time I was out of my mind with existential crises about the game and she was taking care of me--fuck, if she's been stalking me, could she have like, done stuff to make me feel that way?
AAH I can't tell if that ruins it or makes it a million times more sexy!
I believe she probably tried to help you. I don't think the Dreams would usually let someone bring a kid up even slightly to be in love with them but this prophecy just seems to mess everything like that up so I really can't guess, Mommy. I bet we know more about it when we find the other monoliths, though.
It'd freak me out more but I get the impression it's doing just as much a number on her.
I take a deep breath and look at the wonder out the cockpit for a while.
Cocksleeve are there things I do like what Rada did to me with the Attack Carrier and this Arwing that...I wouldn't even bring this up but you'll see anyway so you may as well be useful if you can be. I don't even know what I'm asking exactly, just, after the Arwing, and I can feel it'll be the same after I'm with her next, every part of me was like YES YOU GOT THIS FUCK FAIR AND SQUARE TAKE IT OR EVERYTHING WILL BE WRONG and like...I get the impression you feel that way always, and I kind of feel like--
Mommy I see what you mean please may I tell you?
Okay so Mommy yes I am your cocksleeve and you can always have me and yes I feel like that just always. You can make me wet by things you do to tell how you love me like by calling me your stupid bouncy cocksucking pussy-brained little boobsquish. Do you see now why I like it, now that Rada made you realize you're a bimbo?
I don't know! It feels amazing, but...like she said that about my low expectations, and I think Beverly did but you were there she was distracting, and...is that really it? Cocksleeve I almost get it...help?
So do you remember when Rada told you what she said about the Arwing, she said she wanted to show you how she loves you? She wanted you to sit back and be helpless looking pretty on her deck for her while she fought to get that cool toy for you. That was her way of saying what your place was in the relationship. She told you, remember? You're role in our family was to be sweet and helpless pretty and let her catch a fancy car to claim you as her trophy. I see you Mommy two questions one is how can you make me feel like you when Rada calls you things like trophy spouse and the other one is how can you feel with me what she felt when she fucked you on the Arwing all entitled like she won you with the Arwing.
The first one's really easy just tell me what my role is by how you talk to me and use me. If you call me stupid funbags I'll just believe I have value even stupid unless you also show you don't want to be with me which you can't fool me I see you you'll always love me eternally.
The second one with Rada you get because she buys you like the jacket and this Arwing, so you feel that from whoring. Earth would say that's awful but I think it's romantic. You and me are different because of how we said that whoring doesn't feel right. How can I be your cocksleeve if I have anything I own enough to sell you? My services are yours already--you know that I see you. To feel the thing with Rada, you have to make us feel that. That can be harder to imagine, but just remember you can tell me what my role is in how you use me and talk to me, and that will change you feel about me because you believe in what you're saying at least a little if you say it! Call me just your cocksleeve, or tell me that I'm mostly good for fucking, but you have to know I'm yours to have the feeling catching you this Arwing gave to Rada which feels like she just bought the sex that she's taking, like you said you owe her. We can't balance it like whoring with negotiated prices, but Mommy don't I owe you? I claimed your cum for eternity! You just haven't realized what that means yet. Once you have you'll start to feel entitled to make me serve and please you.
It does kind of keep slipping out of my mind even though I was so horny to know you thought of everything before.
How strict is this? Will I ever know what Rada's face tasting my cum as I cum in her mouth looks like? I can take people's cum, right? I want hers!
Wait, fuck! But!
Stupid Fairy. This is what comes of being too slutty to pick a sex.
Hehe if anybody can be female and still have cum for you Mommy it will be Rada don't worry. Of course you can take cum, you just can't cum without me! If you want to see how she likes your cum just use me as a cocksleeve to get off with then give the cum to Rada! See it's simple! I only stole your orgasms, not your cum too--remember that I'm powered more by feelings that physical substances. I can actually have only feelings to keep pleasing you forever, but cum is super tasty and it definitely feeds me! Giving somebody your cum is so much more powerful emotionally than their just making you cum, don't you think? That's why you want Rada's cum, isn't it? It's not like you can have a baby, not right now at least!
You're so right about the feelings but I was actually just imagining it all hot inside me but now I--wondering if it tastes as good as mine does--oh my god I totally just thought that argh.
Cocksleeve, tell me honestly. Did your game actually rewire me, or do I just like cum?
Knowledge: the game changed me deeply, but it didn't mess with my taste buds. Either nectar made me like it, or I just really do enjoy cum, or the cum I tried was transformed by Lyra's nectar. Maybe I should try some that hasn't been inside her?
My eyes widen. Nectar changing my body to be more me-like would both make me love the taste of cum, and make my cum taste like girly-flavored ice cream! Cocksleeve you've tasted plenty since then can you tell? Is my cum ice-cream flavored!?
Mommy you didn't notice!? I thought everyone could smell it, you especially! I see you smell the Johnny Jump-Ups after I told you so maybe that's how your nose works maybe you need to know what to look for sometimes. Yes your cum is strawberry ice cream sugar swirl is what I would name the flavor.
Okay hold up. 1. How'd I like it hot that has to be rewiring, and 2. Aren't I naked? How are you wrong about this?
Two parts how you played me.
1. What good would ice cream cum be if it's gross because it's hot? You're delicious silly candy, so the nectar makes your cum tasty yummy the minute it comes out of you.
2. Mommy I heard what you were thinking but you were not ready to think it really so you skipped a lot of thinking and I thought you meant your balls changed not your tastebuds.
Is this why Rada was just like 'hell yes' when we offered her...our bowl, do you think?
Mommy she kept looking at your clit the whole entire time you didn't have it in me. She definitely smelled you. It's really strong even from your purse here inside your jacket. Smell, Mommy, say your nose should smell it!
Holy fuck we've been in an ice cream shop this whole time GAH. How could I ignore this? Especially with the Johnny Jump-up scent? Wait, more questions! I hope you feel useful cocksleeve because you're being. Why would nectar give me this insane ice cream shop AAH FUCK ITS MAKING ME HUNGRY NOW ARGH smell and subtle soft Johnny Jump-ups? I mean they're both me, but wouldn't it like, coordinate?
I think your brain just had so many things to process it decided that could wait until had that space to understand it like strawberry ice cream cum is a serious change if you're a boy like fifteen minutes before you taste it the very first time! I think you had to be able to accept that you're a bimbo to be able to let your body tell you what it smelled as soon as you were girly. The Johnny Jump-up scent is easier that's just flowers not your cum. My nectar didn't give you the flowers Mommy I made those through my game. I thought you would like something to remind you of Maine and me as Freddie! I see it makes you feel sad because you left me but everybody leaves their friends behind when move somewhere it wasn't your fault! Eden's stupid dumb control to make Earth be magicless made it so I had to tell you very slowly but I did it and you're here now so can't the memory of Johnny Jump-ups in the springtime be a happy thing now we're together like we should be? The game can take the smell away if you ask it so it's up to you I just think you deserve the happy memories we made while I was Freddie.
OOF SQUISH OH MOMMY! I didn't mean to make you cry with that!
Shh, it's okay.
I crush her to me with all my strength and sob into her hair for what seems like hours.
Can...do plants grow in Rl'yeh Sade? If that's even where we're going?
Yes Mommy plants are everywhere remember Rada's asscreep tea she gave you? The game is made to make us live there because our seed-ghost told me that's where we'd need to so I think it must somewhere I just don't know what part or what the house that Rada caught for you is like.
The I'm keeping the smell until we get there and--I--no, it'll work, the game can make me. It will make me not kill them. I'm keeping the smell until we get there and then I want to grow Johnny Jump-ups I know that's so silly and such a dumb thing to cry about but cut me slack I'm a weepy stupid Fairy.
HEY! MOMMY'S FEELINGS ARE IMPORTANT!
I love you! Alright, okay, it's not stupid and I'm definitely crying about it. I guess that tells you how much I care about this memory.
I care too Mommy that's why I made the smell. It was selfish I wanted you to smell that way so I could remember whenever I was with you. I love you too Mommy that's why I care such much about our memories of me as Freddie!
I'm so sorry, l--cocksleeve. Of course you'd care about that!
Is there a way of making nectar change you consciously? Can I wish for it to make them work together?
Mommy you can wish but it doesn't do just what you wish or want it makes you be yourself. Maybe now the smell can be a part of who you are again?
YES! PLEASE NECTAR! I really like the ice cream though it's so...blush...me...but I can see it in my imagination, surprising myself with how clear and specific the image is, of a stone bench with grass all around, Lyra standing behind it beside a tall pot that grows them high where we can smell them, and more of the tiny flowers scattered through the grass wild like they should be. You see, cocksleeve? That's what I want. I want to sit on the bench or the ground and smell them new with you. I'M SAD BECAUSE ITS IN THE PAST! That's all! Let's make new memories and I will try to have the old ones be happy but...there's some way to have that in Rl'yeh Sade right--no fuck this if anything you told me cocksleeve means anything this will work Dreams I wish for that I want a spot like that where I live with Lyra we can go smell them every day and I want them to grow wild like they should and have what need from the world--
Their response is a searingly vivid image of the bench I was just thinking of, without plant life. A stereotypical Gnarled Gardener melts out of the rocks, waves a trowl and plants grass and tiny flowers, and melts back into the landscape. The vision lingers until I break the connection as if to say I can mentally sit there now as long as I want but--
Mommy sit with me there please just imagine it a minute the Dreams will help you hold it.
For a few moments, in our minds, we're together in a sunlit little glade with the flowers all around us, and Lyra on my lap. It seems to be inside somehow, or with darkness in the distance, but it feels bright and sunny, open like a garden.
Does this mean it's real?
The Dreams beat Lyra to the punch with their green checkmark, and in so doing confuse me out of my weeping. Is the green checkmark just 'yes', or does it mean something interesting will happen?
They show me the one single solitary memory I have of the drive away from Maine as the family moved to Boston...but the scenery is moving the other way this time!
There Mommy see the Dreams understand what you were wishing! We're going back to Plowstar!
The checkmark wasn't ever anything but "we won't grant your wish half-assed or wrong don't worry". I can't cry any harder but do anyway.
You can't go home again. If they just make a replica it won't be right, but I know they won't. Still...I'd imagined some kind of gothy kink palace, especially with Rada added. Now, I don't know what to expect.
And that's fine somehow.
Knowledge: the game is turning off my Johnny Jump-ups perfume so everyone can enjoy my sexy ice cream shop smell. I can be sure that bench will be there, and we'll make new memories just like I wanted.
If that's guaranteed, okay, but only if, game.
The scent of Johnny Jump-ups fades out from my nostrils, leaving just my ice cream and Lyra's nectar. They coordinate. Candy goes with ice cream.
And we will go and sit and smell those flowers and remember every day, cocksleeve, you hear me?
Hold me near the flowers when we get there so I can smell them while you fuck me on the bench if that would please you Mommy?
The yes you get is a kiss on your cute romantic forehead. Kiss.