6 - With Bells On

This isn't remotely everything but one part of why I have this is I have to be able lead my Fairy hive without it being like I'm following the Dreams' Keeping, so they make it so can see which way Happily Ever After is like some birds have compasses in their brains.

I have...powers, too...but not the ones I was thinking of. Like beyond sensing. How does that make sense? Wishing is every power, if I'm getting stuff directly from the Dreams.

The Dreams are screaming at me about not getting something but there's no detail, just blueized blueized blueized.

I can capture new Sugarfreaks, my way is Fairy rings, but we know that. The Dreams allow it, okay. That's the right direction...is this important now? Like for Peanut and her pet's sake? I can't tell. That's...spoilered?

I think until I remember stuff. Wait that conspiracy folder and this...the Illuminati. Look there for these answers. Also they were trying to make the reflecting pool on the Washington Mall work like Boobsong and me always wished the black mirror floor of the chapel in the Rainbow Cathedral would. That's what it's there for. Good one, Illuminati.

They aren't fae...yes because they're fanatics. They follow me but they're much more normal cult and less Fairy hive. It's also the place to go if you want to be in on the apocalypse's ground floor...ha ha only serious. Arthur (as in King) founded them in the 1300s and they've been trouble for Eden ever since then. They're why the Washington Monolith looks just like the one at Strawberry Home. It was waiting for me to laser the prophecy onto it when I got to America.

Good one, Illuminati, is a thing I say often. Which I suppose itself rates a good one, Illuminati.

Arthur didn't stay long after we implanted him. Fifteen years. He was sixty-five, when we got there. Eighty's a good age for a King (nectar doesn't extend your lifespan if you're in a place like Earth you can die your way out of, just makes you pretty, so nobody has to stay forever. You leave with your heartchild, so it's okay. Don't take the suicide express, though, or kill people. Both those things mess your soul up real bad. No use escaping in pieces even the Dreams can't fix).

So a thing to do is visit the Illuminati to see about Bombshell and these powers. That'll be good times.

Okay then su'khora. They must be somewhere, there's no way I just hang out with humans!

The Baskers are where my su'khora fans are. I have lots of them there? Good. With me and Boobsong around there should be as many su'khora as humans, or more if people have doubles or triples or whole families like Malina. The Baskers aren't less my fans than the Sugarfreaks. They're just Fairies with other Keepers, or normal humans, or su'khora,  or weird things (of course you can come to a Heart Church if you're like the Titan's Racquetball Poltergeist or that spacedock robot, why would you not be able to? I mean unless you don't care. Though Baskers do play racquetball sometimes and this one Lucy girl likes spaceships a lot).

Now back to our regularly scheduled harder, seed-ghost.

HARDER.

Starlight Princess garb (specifically party top, skirt, rainbow stockings and black heels) must be cloth or candy stuff.

YES! Making it out of candy sounds so hot. So does walking out in the crowd as a show ends and letting everyone tear it off me to eat.

HARDER.

Fans have only road guide: maps and signs mean nothing unless your fans help.

Heavy. Unf. I like maps though, can I still have the--no, because I can't have anything. Okay. Boobsong can make it when we get back. Map with pins and string.

Too long since Boobsong. Dolly!

Sexy hot lace on your thighs! Silky soft embroidered skirt with stars and top all shot with holes that let your light through! Your Boobsong has ideas!

Holy Starlight cookie brittle...you...gulp...whereever all these bullet-time tears go must be getting mighty full because SOB.

We could make it all pretty. Like lingerie. I mean like really girly. We did it the other way because it was to look good on a big stage or on TV when the world was still SD where you wouldn't see that stuff and it was armor. Now it can have details up close.

Oh dolly.

Even just your saying that makes me feel so beautiful. Okay maybe-plan to get you the stuff to make one of those that's hand made and just incredible.

[!] Your Boobsong can make Lens-plans. You make then.

Like the first one. I...might want the hand-made anyway. Like Tuchyuh's cake. I don't know. I mean your plans have that too. It just...I don't know what any symbols about me mean it feels like. It's all just been "fight to open the worldgate". Whatever's best there, do that. Do I make my clothes with daddy's Lens or your hand-work or both with plans? Can't just talk through that. I need to see something.

Oh there's something. Power. I need to be able to get to any of my Fairies that's calling for me. That has to be like an official power I have so they know I can come if they cry Keeper. My game makes it different, though. I can be there through it so the speed-limit is okay.

Okay that SDTV thing. Acme Station between you and my Lens why didn't we blanket the world in hyper-tech?

Too much change will break hearts.

Yeah I never really understood then either.

There's a nuance with Sugarfeast, though. Aside from sexy funtime it's not just about change for change's sake. Look at me with the same outfit every day for thirty years. And still going back to it. And my love of McDonalds. It isn't about just changing. It's about keeping what feels good, while still being able to embrace new stuff joyfully.  Sometimes a new idea changes your life around. Other times it's a small thing. The Sugarfeast Fairy being a stick in the mud about some things tells you she's not there to take what you love, just bring you some new stuff. She still has that same stupid outfit from the nineties, after all. So out of style.

SD to HD TV is trivial, isn't it? In that kind of scheme of things? It changes the art form, it occurs to me. You can see that with video games but in the rewrite even anime got a lot finer-lined when HD became a thing. We kept as much stuff the same as we could because the changes we were doing were earthshaking. Literally, sometimes. I jumped up and down on the concept of clothes on = grownup, maybe clothes = kid with an actual earthquake. What was that, um...I used the black hole? That wasn't big enough to make Earthquakes.

Okay this piece is like stuck and no surprise with 900 things hanging off it but now it seems  wrong. Only if you have problems is a naked kid a sexual thing. Is it so bad they all have to cover up for that 0.01% of the population that's like that? For the kid, yes, if 0.01% gets them. We just thought being safe was better? Did we have more rules? Tuchyuh got away with having me naked in the oven lots. There was stuff...she was alone there in Strawberry Home tonight but so what, I'm Unveiled now. The bakery hopped with life most days. If there's enough people around it's okay, take their clothes off for the beach, but if you might be alone with someone, better safe than sorry, keep their clothes on or face my wrath.

What about parents, with their kids? We didn't do that, is what I think--oh, the family homes. Generations lived together. You didn't get America's small houses. It had ups and downs. Sugarfeast was our culture's protection against that keeping things from growing, like, the wedge we used to make enough generation gap. So you had mom there, and grammie, and--supergrammie, hehe, our word was more like that than "great" but our different sexual mores and the existence of Sugarfeast kept it from being like you'd think if you're American.

My game could just stop things? It did, lots, but America was sick about this, so we gave it Strawberry cough drops, too. Public place? Can't say clothes on, except kids have to. Private house? My game's there. It's nice but it can watch all the Telescreens, all the time.

This all feels so weird now. Like I have a puzzle piece that's sky and the shape's juuuust wrong to fit the one next to it but it looked right because they're just blue.

The gendered names thing. Giving kids a name at birth that says their sex is hella sus I think they say in America now to Strawberries. Just what are you telling everyone that now for? Wait for Unveiling, and let the poor kid maybe surprise everyone! Never know, there might be a wham line hiding under that dress. It happened. Also I can't remember boy clothes, like kid stuff, because there were none. Kids don't have genders. That's for grownups. That's why it's Unveiling. Duh. Sheesh.

Okay but so what why does this not feel like a rabbit trail. This piece is wrong. Messing stuff up. Really central. I'm Chyajjoh. If I get this wrong the whole puzzle is cockeyed.

Needs more Boobsong. Dolly!

This wasn't an easy part for Americans. Really hard stuff here.

If I had a rocket launcher, I'd make somebody pay--because nobody could afford the guns we brought to this one. I remember that. Okay sacred cow hamburgers and we're launching a whole fast food chain.

I mean did we just give a Chyajjoh culture transplant around childrearing. Yes, with updates. Chyajjoh's better than America's barbarism, not perfect.

Tore the walls off daycares, floats to mind, but who needs daycares when capitalism gone? That's a metaphor. Transparency raising kids but why though. Game. Just let it handle each case separately.

Maybe this goes back to the whole me as Dreams to my Sugarfreaks thing. It wigs kids out for their parents to be in trouble. How to fix, then? Maybe just take the pain, there. America was real sick.

A choice, then. Play right, take your kids to daycare my game ran but come and go to see them (kids can get that it's not mommy's rules at grammie's house) whenever, or we would take them. You got told if you were slipping, in your head. Slip too far and my game would take them. They only went to daycare. Maybe for a visit maybe forever. You could see them, unless it was real bad. The choice was there so daycare could be a thing you did. That means something, to kids. If it means the kid decides you don't want them because that's the last you see of them, either Eden made you have kids you don't want, or you earned that kid not liking you fair and square.

So then the daycares could be Chyajjoh style, and there were people who love kids and would beg to be there to help them.

Like really whenever. You could read your kid a bedtime story, check on them at night, so on. Just be kind to--no, kids had bedrooms. No space crunch, spared no expense.

Yeah that's still brutal. On parents. If you had a kid in America, you signed up for eighteen brutal years, for the kids' sake. The Strawberry Princess isn't going to lighten that load...or is she? In a lot of ways family homes make raising kids way easier. Advice and babysitting lives with you. I said that. Try it, but don't be a bad mom to your adult kids, either... (raised eyebrows)

And if Eden did make you have kids you didn't want, daycare was the escape clause. Nothing's worse than being an unwanted kid. Mother loved me but the traitorous court gave me enough taste of that to come down like buckets of lava on anyone who shamed people for giving their kids to daycare. Or having them taken.

Back to clothes, then. Grownups could take them off or wear whatever. Taste still existed. I still had none (except Strawberry)--kidding. I just don't think what America thinks is elegant is beautiful. It's caught in a back street of advancement without getting better, at least for formalwear. Go off raver sluts and bring that up, though...I'm looking forward to Boobsong's idea. We're going to make this gorgeous.

Kids? Would not be traumatized just by naked parts. They had their own.

Lucy and Lyra were obnoxious exhibitionists (I'm going to do their life because Princess Starlight was so special). We got away with most stuff. My game didn't let us make kids watch (which ever happened because I'd forget to check Boobsong's who's-watching power for them) except for the small stuff like snuggling. Hands under table, have to sneak good with kids there. My game wouldn't stop us fucking for anything, but we had to pretend nothing interesting was happening sometimes. That's hard for a Fairy I can tell you.

I'm looking for what, here, there's a reason I'm here now. Maybe need Boobsong.

Fairies need outlets for feelings or their hearts die.

Oh space to express our relationship. American culture was awful to both sides. People who wanted to show off had no place to do it. People who liked to be private had nowhere to hide with their lovers. Except their homes, if that.

I mean enh? This seems small. We could express ourselves as Lucy and Lyra in places that weren't that different than before we fixed everything.

Couldn't be openly tops and bottoms, that took a hike when my game took over.

This isn't the stuff. Like we made it like Rl'yeh Sade as much as possible. The places for kids and places for not-kids. It's not super hard stuff.

It's important because I have to have some thought of what happens when we walk out the door of this pizza shop so I can get the memories my way. Maybe it's different now but then I need to way "that's changed".

Okay but I smell there's stuff, maybe? Things that are big here? Emotional expression, culture change. Fairies are very emotional. We cry all the time. If I described all the ways my tears get cleaned up it'd be half this book. We're kind of a mess unless we're screaming with happiness. Had to make space for that in the culture before all the Fairies fucking killed themselves. That's one reason Princess Starlight's a ridiculous bimbo, and we encouraged people to have names like Peanut and Butter as a couple because America needed to get over the edgelord thing. Even the pilgrims from England in the 1690s weren't as grim as the average Bostonian--but a least they weren't mean! New Yorkers could be really harsh but they meant it as kind of brusquely avoiding entangled emotions, even I could tell. Just on my way home leave me alone. Nothing personal.

...but the South, yowza, as Sex would say.

So the South won't be the same as the backstory. Because we kind of um, oh the hurricane. Get too mean and the rain would come. From the ceiling of the tunnels of water my game was holding back from the massive flood it caused. They'd never fall down, though...would they? MUAHAHAH. The more you don't know me the scarier that is and that's perfect. Because you'd look such a dumbass next to the people who do know.

We had something else for the inland...oh the Earthquakes. My game did the same as the storm surge and kept them from destroying people or stuff, but it sure was scary. And my game would say who had caused it.

You heard it here first. New Jerk City is way more polite than anyplace south of the Mason-Dixon line--and now I know who my black readers are because you all just asked why I'm stating the obvious. Sad to say it's not to a lot of people, but you're probably ahead of me knowing that, too.

You can't make people be nice, though. No. You can't. But you can make them stop chewing on strangers. You can be the four hundred pound guy at the bar who bangs his beer down when people start talking trash about his black friend. And we didn't have like a scale limit about that survival of the fittest game. Play that and my game would show you what you were doing. That could be as simple as a piece of gravel in your beer mug, or it could be your fast food empire becoming a gay icon.

Eet mor chikin!

Okay so I don't have to stop being a big ball of tears. Which is good, becaue I can't. If you're sick of that you should probably stop here, because it's not ending.

And the South has learned some manners. They'd get spiked anyway but their asses will be bruised for a long while from the spanking that took, if they haven't all just fucked off for someplace else entirely to forget about Rainbow the bitch who took the culture war nuclear.

Did it really have to be so mean. Wasn't there a nice way to get their attention. Make it worth their while.

I think back on Them in the Strawberry World. How much we tried that. If my game agreed, no, there wasn't. There was a ton of nice we did. I'm just remembering the bad stuff. It's the fighting that hurt. My game gave people house who were homeless and I was like okay sure you did a fine job no doubt and that's good and didn't think about it because it was okay. They were grateful sometimes but that's all I saw really. There are apartments and houses my game made by the thousands, filling up what was public land when there was a government. No need to be near industry or anything. New towns! Okay that matters. Nothing will look like the backstory there. My game used up any old buildings the landlords didn't ask it to keep. That was all. Say hey I want this. If you couldn't be arsed that far it wasn't yours. Dead steel mills turned into shopping--no amusement parks. This wasn't the Soviet Union--and neither was Soviet Russia, heh. My game could make all sort of stuff to keep people happy and not bored. Games and amusements and fun times were all over.

Lots of people moved out of Boston. Everywhere else too. Some people find cities romantic but to most they're noisy and painful and it's just worth the money. Sorry bike culture fans but people do just like suburbs. That's why they keep springing up. My game made them by zillions.

It won't be a ghost town out there but there's way less people. I remember the quiet the day we came to get Magic.

How was I playing her part? We hijacked it. I followed the instructions she got, with her face on. Double cross the double cross, see. I was going to mess with their heads but Boobsong was too mad.

My game could just take you places so cars died except for some stuff or if you thought my game like killed you and made copies, the transporter thing. What did it do? Spacewarps? Little small worldgates? The timegate took all that light but eighty thousand years (and a new universe) is a lot further than the corner pizza shop and my game has power to spare.

It's got some way of taking stuff in and out of the universe. So does Boobsong. Why couldn't we just go that way?

Bitter frustration there. The answer to this is stupid.

No it's just offensive. It holds your soul some way. Even if your body goes. My game could work with that to teleport on Earth but my dragon couldn't just eat me and go. See? Offensive.

How the fuck does that work, when the Dreams can't do it?

There's a story in my head that Earth is some ancient piece of astral engineering with tons of stories about what it was supposed to be for. Yeah, there's anger here. People would say it was one thing or another originally, now it's Eden's fishtank yes but it wasn't meant as a bad thing originally, but...I say it can't have been. I say a trap like this has no good uses. Not even as a prison. It doesn't keep the prisoners in, they can journey and do all kinds of stuff. I've made some big splashes from there, half of the Four Dreams can tell you. What they can't do is stop experiencing its torture. All that is, is a machine to hurt people.

It's an evil thing that was conceived in evil and has brought trillions of years--it's ancient--of suffering and horror to the universe in the form of Eden and stuff like that, and all the pain it brought its inhabitants. Daddy was trying to fix it, in a time it was less bad. It got as bad as it could get, instead.

Anyway, star-stuff gets weird, and if Uncle Dagon hasn't cracked it yet, it was made by the big leagues. Astral wars exist. Probably its makers Naziied there way to extinction, and the ant farm got forgotten.

That's stupid and boring and I'm offended, so in this case it's probably the truth.

Need to vent some ranting now that that came up, dragon? Your timeout's here anyway.

It just feels good to hear you say the truth here. Some say hospital. HOSPITAL!? What healing!? NOT HUMANS!

Fragment of a memory. That one exploded on contact. It wasn't even too stupid to live. I think it never actually got into my head.

Yes, we fixed Earth. Mostly. By being brutal. My game wasn't any nicer to the gears it runs on than we were to the culture. It fought us every step, and finally went nuclear.

My theory about Earth is it's just some sick psycho's 4X game, who didn't care their "AI" was sentient, and it resets when the game gets too good for one side or the other, because they won, but the player abandoned it and it just keeps running, infested with Eden.

Except my game could have played that so we never set the reset off. Maybe. It's adaptive, I suppose, or time-based.

Why won't this rabbit trail STOP I feel like a runaway train. Game what is even down here that you haven't dragged me back with Peanut standing here all sexy and Boobsong in my lap and--

Your game has two plans. First you get your heart awake to passion that Earth was a good thing in a bad situation that your jailbreak saved here. Next you get your passion to control you for seed-ghost tour things.

Fine. I'm sure on a Boobsong-special slip-n-slide with the second one (Imagine me naked on her dragon-tongue as a slip n slide. Come on, I dare you. I sure am now!). Wanna get back to that.

And yes, the rock and star are fine (there's only the one star. Long story how that works). Cool planets too. It's the universe I'm mad at. Those gears have a date with destiny. I'm going to really light up their life one day. You're going to wish it was only as bad PC LOAD LETTER, death-machine. Maybe I'll make you conscious just so you can feel the guilt for all the pain you caused, before I kill your ass.

And then leave you alive at the last moment, so you can deal with it. To get better so you can really understand. And then leave you there. Unforgiven. By anyone. They'll follow if I lead in that. I might go that dark, for this. Gears are not for living in.

You know it's bad, when a star says that.

Do I know the star? Too weird to talk to humans? Even starkids?

I've had this memory of waving to the sun every Sugarfeast. But I don't remember it replying.

Except I think it was just a normal star? Had no real clue what was happening, like, humans were just the weird cute ants on its planet, and it was too weird to know us more than that?

There's not much there, I seem to think. No big story. Which is weird since it's the only star there. I do seem to think there is someone, and not just a big fusion reactor.

Alright kinda cute small fusion reactor, to me.

I guess this is important since it's out there and I'll be seeing it tomorrow--huh. Is it doing like Auntie Lucifer, in two places? Is it two stars? We broke things as hard as possible at the Strawberry Apocalypse, didn't we, game?

Your game destroyed the spacetime matrix of that world. It couldn't break the gears, though.

So crashed the Matrix, but not tore down the power plant. Frazzlepops. Thanks for remembering what I'd want to do when I didn't, though.

Okay so two stars? What the fuck is going on here? Can this thing make stars? Boobsong said the sun was heartforming. It's pretty slow, doesn't have the Real Big Huge Club's knack for human-level fast-talk, I seem to think.

I didn't know about the Strawberry Apocalypse--no I did, but I thought the myth must be wrong, because I wasn't going back there. The Strawberries took my words to heart and made the whole thing a fairytale, so there was no conclusive evidence. They didn't want to be found, so they weren't found, that whole time.

Don't mess with Strawberries, is the theme here, heh.

Nothing seems right. Sun is no-one. Sun is nice but stuck too. Sun's a bitch. Sun is dead and gears now. Sun is hacked to be just holding Earth shut. Sun is too weird to talk to. Sun is too slow to talk to.

Maybe that one. Stars are slow and stars are patient and some are more one than the other. Are we just waiting for the sun to hear us? Were? No because reset. It'd never figure all that stuff out in a trillion years, even if it does think deep.

I don't get the two stars thing. Okay, this isn't memory from the backstory. I just don't know. Yet. Have to look. The Strawberry World's star and this sun are...like stamped out. Earth's universe made them. That's awful. They're as trapped as we are, more, no magic's worse for a star that for humans, and that's saying something.

Why, what for? It wasn't a womb. Looks like mass production--oh for soldiers. That's why the sun's an airhead! I don't mean that insultingly. I'm one, or I try to be. I just mean, fluffly light thoughts, and not much angst there.

The shell is all that's left of the weapon, it's supposed to restore the soldier if it gets wrecked, but they have to figure their own life out now, so the kind of blank person it starts with just ends up an airhead. But stuck in this unhappy can because it was mean to be a gun. Bleh. I feel you, Sun.

I guess that triggered memories.

There aren't supposed to be humans. We're just like ants though. Tiny crack, here we come. Good luck keeping us out if you're star-sized.

Same with Eden's Unicron Room. Ants don't usually have nuclear warheads, but I'm special.

Then the reset is probably some defense AI trying to clean up or someting. Yawn again--no, that makes no sense. The reset's creative--Eden hacked stuff, I bet. Can't get out, can reset. Yeah. Managed to impersonate the management and set up the reset.

Whatever's holding the star must be affecting every other consciousness there too, or at least starlike enough ones (such as humans) (we can see stars, remember. We may not be like them, but they're not the scary stuff in the basement of the multiverse we can't see).

Okay well poor sun poor Earth poor humans poor Boobsong especially. If we ever find out who built this thing there's going to be a meltdown, but it won't be mine. I'll be as cold as ice.

Violent-bright antilight doesn't freeze stuff, or hide it. It uncreates it. That's why it freaks Boobsong out, but I think I can find a way to make some without my heart dying, for that occasion. Don't suppose you have anything interesting that runs on antilight, Acme Station?

Acme Station has lots of things. Which one for them, that's question. Who is this? Did they have choice here? Desperation or funtimes? Makes a difference.

Hmm. Alright well either this is over and I can't be arsed for revenge or one day we'll get to a root cause who does deserve it, even if they're like that Keeper, and see what's right then. Unless you want the promise that one day we will do this.

Your Boobsong wants to stop with war stuff. Can this be done please?

Yeah. I...wanna smash the gears if you can bring me their head on a platter so to speak, game, but I'm sick of war stuff too.

More Boobsong. You keep getting a sentence out and then it's too interesting and I talk.

That's good! Your Boobsong likes this. Just read what you want. Found some good thing, makes you talk more, your Boobsong feels good.

I love you too but how is that so hot. I guess it just makes me excited to think you're happy with how I'm using you. I've felt like such a disaster of a domme today.

Ooh I know what's fun! Flippity.

Your Boobsong would like to get into that calendar disappearing. You know you make calendars! What kind of porn you don't make, that's the surprise there.

(I did the "stick your finger on a random page and read" thing, to desires, reader)

Maybe the wham line is it's for kids or something, heh. Me too though. We'll be sure to ask Peanut and her pet.

When we get to a bed I wanna turn you into a book and read you that way. Run my fingers down that little place where your pages meet, fuzz their corners...

Haaah...please that would be awesome! Your Boobsong can make pictures so you won't have to miss her being hot.

Okay here's an important one. I can't masturbate...unless I'm reading my porn novel that loves me. And then I can rub like a girl on my mound or jerk like a boy like with aligning force and my clit feels it.

And the only thing you can do is talk to me and make sexy pictures. But my hand is your pussy.

And if I cum your pages get sticky like I came on them.

How'd I do?

Everything except just one thing. It's very descriptive.

Oh if I describe stuff into your pages like a black mirror it happens to you. And if it's sex I'll feel it with my clit-goo. This is the best!

EEEEE YOU GOT IT! Most important part of the book form! That was our best fun on dark nights at Strawberry Home!

Because you glow, obviously. And so do I, you work like a black mirror that way but you're sexy Boobsong-skin pages. It's so kinky. And they're black so the light shows good. Like your wings and tail all sexy-shiny.

This is the best. Goes perfect with balls off. Super frustrating in that awesome horny way...until it's so not!

Okay seems like we should try some seed-ghost fun while we're all hot. Oh! Dolly that about we have to play where our fans are, like, okay!, says exhibitionist me, and wanting-acceptance me, so why do I say harder when that already is hard? Or like, I can't see how that could harder without boring rules that aren't it. Can you see?

Your Boobsong is crying to get onto the road to experience every part of this but that's the best one. Imagine their cheering! They won't stop just because the show does! It's going to be clapping with every orgasm this is awesome.

Ooooh my FUCK I'm such a narcissist that makes my heart sing. We'll put on a show and we'll like it. We can always run off as Lucy and Lyra...can't we? Is that actually not allowed?

If your heart stops you will be there. Otherwise you are stuck as Boobsong and Starlight.

Gulp but okay.

Let's play games with our fans while we fuck! To get them involved more.

Wait we must have already. You can still make a big show interactive.

Yeah I can't remember because there's so many it's like trying to remember what strangers I saw in Boston over all twenty years of touring.

Dolly I'm getting really hungry for that new outfit, I hope you're filling up libraries here.

Your Boobsong is exploding with ideas for how to make you look good here! Everyone so close means they see stuff! She can do lots with tiny small details! What if warp drive streaks in the edge of your skirt so you have lots of rainbows but have to look close to see all of them! Inside your skirt could be fun! You do lots of upskirt but you can't really see the inside from stage and cartoons can't really fit that!

That's going to be amazing. Yes. Inside detail. Try to upskirt me before I do--ooh it should change the first time I upskirt at a show and you get something special if you can catch a glimpse before that. I bet I can make it detect like shoe mirrors and lameness, too. Have to catch me moving.

[!] Isn't that an upskirt then?

The skirt is so fun because it's not superporn short, if I'm remembering. Just long enough to cover. I can wear it as a normal rave slut outfit...until I jump around and have fun. Then it's panty-less-shots everywhere. Hehe maybe I should get some. Lens them on in the middle of a show just to wham line everybody with Princess Starlight wearing underwear, heh.

Turns out to be edible, of course. As the fans learn bwaha firsthand.

No first bite. Take it off with your teeth if you want some. Whole thing. Have to get groped enough. Okay apparently I wanna get mauled by a crowd of our fans but that feels right. You can come too. I bet that's a fun way to fuck, like just let them at us until we go off.

Princess your name isn't Rainbow because you're a straight girl.

AND THIS IS OUR TOUR! I KNOW MY DRAGON LIKES HER SUSHI! Dress code is sexy curves big boobs and a nice smackable ass! Our fans can eat candy for one night. If they won't dare that what are they doing at a Starlight Princess show anyway.

If you don't eat the candy you'll never find me or something like that. And we're only staying with girls but I figured that one. Seed-ghost do it up and hhharder.

Fans can't see you if masc or nonbinary. Literally.

EAHAHAHAHA OoooooOOOOOOOOooooo Lesbian ghosts say caaaaandy, caaaaAAAAANNNNDYYYY...

BWAHAHAHA okay this is getting good. We should play hard here. Stay with girls, play with girls, there's another step but it's not like boys can't help us or something. But it wants me to think of this.

Okay hosts have to want me. In their bed. And Boobsong but obviously. I think that's fun? Weird, feels less good than when I started saying it. I mean like it doesn't have to happen, maybe we don't click, but why's this wrong?

Okay feels like...maybe their bed's too small? I didn't mean literally, just they have to like us that way (because I guess we're in third grade now heh). Oh but I love to see our fans happy with their heartchildren and loved ones. There might not be room for us to be more than porn but staying with them would still be so happy. Scratch that then. Still have to be femme to see me.

[!] Your Boobsong would like to get fucked on stage lots. Can seed-ghost say something that way?

On stage you have your balls off and seed-ghost watches for good times. Say it or just let the motion happen. You won't get away without sex every time.

OH MY FUCK DOLLY YES. Good Succubus.

Okay it can't just be telling me if I have my balls or not. I have to feel you bite them off or something don't I?

This is vivid because of how it was the first time but I thiiiink I feel you slide my clit off so sensually to keep it forever...the pulling and then it's just free and it's so scary and relaxing...

That's actually a different thing.

Oh. You splat it. Balls and clit. That's why I was thinking of that. And then I...feel nothing until we go off. Oh but I like to feel hard! It's part of my raunchiness, how does this work?

Okay I think you have different silly way to give them. Splat on like my suction cup or slide on like a camcorder battery, stuff like that. Feels so go though.

Am I wrong again and the nothing makes me more fucked up and I beg so pathetically.

[!] Mommy the nothing would scare you to heart stop. Try again before your dragon just chomps you. You're making HER heart stop.

Ooh. Sorry, dolly. I think there's a frustrated kink here, heh.

Okay it's not my clit off anyway because that's always off. Nice girly lines I feel sexy thinking there's no choice there.

Inside the door to your hoard. That's a good place to gain and lose balls, heh. String? You tie string? Something like that. Oh it's really sweet and cute I feel like a pretty pet.

It's a bell! For your collar! You tie that on and it's like a cat having one to scare birds! That way I don't feel my claws back. It makes it into a toy. Is it really a bell. Yes because it rings more if I'm horny? Hmm, no. It must look like balls? No, clashes with everything. It's an elegant little round bell. My ball but we all know what that means.

Do you literally tie it on? Yeah. Our seed-ghost decides and it gives you the bell and it's little ribbon and I click you to tie it.

Why no ring horny? Too annoying. It rings if I bounce. It's literally just a bell but it tells me my balls are on.

Blush. Sometimes I beg because I want the bell, not my balls. It makes me feel so petified.

Seed-ghost I want you to decide how I'll feed this weird hungry is it castration or not thing.

Elegant fetish: when you are dressed up, can't have your balls on.

[!] But that's only stage shows, and she already can't have them. Princess is hungry, seed-ghost, go harder!

I'm hungry for something else. It's not just when-rules.

Wisdom is not seeing what time holds: spoilered arousing time helps this.

Frazzlepops. Want. It's itchy.

Sometimes I beg for my bell because you're so sweet putting it on I just like it.

Can I see this in the distance maybe? Um...that's a weird thing, this goes back to Earth some how, but like grand stuff. Flags and war.

That's all I seem to be able to see from here.

Peanut looks so hot here in the middle of touching pussy to my fuck with Boobsong--almost said Lyra, heh.

Is it time to go back, out of bullet-time? No because hungry, need something more here.

Harder. Give something nice to Boobsong. I--this is so confusing I was about to say give her some nice thing because I don't have anything that's not hers already but can't I give lots of stuff but no I can't but that doesn't make sense--I think I don't know how to be the pet that's her domme, too.

Are you the sleigh or the driver? Maybe that isn't the right thought. Be something else, then. Transit of weeds: in between tour stops, in the fields or on mountains, under statues in the dark places, all of your hard thoughts are the best part. Be the pet by playing fetch with Boobsong. Assignments will come from your seed-ghost. Complete them to keep commands on. Hard thoughts are the way to complete them. Nothing that won't be a good time.

Oooh--wait, this is just game goals. Is that the point? Game are you just our seed-ghost?

Your game isn't your seed-ghost. Keep trying.

I feel confused about everything--Siren-sense kicks up, my game's my mission control, did I call it Houston? Something about that...yes but not Houston. Starfleet Command or such but that's too long...leash, it leads me...not collar, we did that...it's a sweet thought, nothing so cold as Houston...Director? Because I'm a porn show. That would make sense how it runs stuff.

I think it's Director. Heart-healing feels--this is so close. It's right there. Is Director just it then? Thinking of pet-stuff? Oh that's okay that's weird and so scary it's me but the Dreams have been pushing it to go there--please don't Dreams I'm too small I'll just drown--they're just taking care and giving good toys so I can be happy they're home,  all this different stuff does the same job--not exactly--is the game's name just Tower, like air traffic control? Too cold still. The game isn't part of our seed-ghost. Boobsong made it to take care of me? How about corset? I'm squishy soft goo that can't stand up on her own. Heart-healing, more, there. That would be collar, though--wait. This should be clear with the Sugarfreaks here. The game is a part of my care-stuff, so I can have Fairies and not get sad. The first of which and favorite is Boobsong. The difference between it and my collar (and seed-ghost?) is that it's supposed to take care of stuff like running the Fairies I keep because I'm just human. Take over the world. Run me when I need it--it's my Keeper-extension. Things like octopusses have their brains in the legs as much as their heads.

Did I have it before and not realize? Is your name Tentacles, game?

Tentacles is part of my life, I said to Copper. Maybe I should have said it's part of me. Is there a Fairy inside every Keeper who's the alive part and the rest is machines?

I just want to be Rainbow. I don't want to grow into a Keeper. I don't want to grow up at all now. After all this stuff I'm excused--it said that.

[!] Keeper is right here. Fairy inside of a Keeper is you in your dragon.

Okay. Be greedy, dragon, your Fairy gets scared lots. Greedy is comfort.

Heart-healing, so much.

My tentacles.

Oh. There we go.

This is weird. I'm machine life--that's what a star is, I have this nice girl-shell, but look at my light-stuff and luminal engineering (that was the name I've been missing, making stuff out of light) factory--but I'm also a cyborg, with these Tentacles that aren't my body just machines I'm hooked up to inside. That could be so disgusting but they're beautiful and Boobsong made them so sweetly crafting each part. The whole thing is handmade by my Acme Station and it shows.

They'll respond to my will but like an octopus I'm not in charge just the center part where the eyes are. Except their eyes are bigger than mine could ever be. It's a metephor. It breaks down fast.

My tentacles point is to keep me small enough to be a pet by filling in for the stuff my Keeper desires would make me want to turn into one for. I would fall down that hole and never get back but it's plugged with my tentacles. They can do everything I would ever want there and then some. I'm a scary good Keeper with them here.

Heart-healing floods to say that.

Don't my Fairies get sad not seeing my face very much? They kind of do pine for me but they're not very fae compared to me or the average Fairy like Cheryl, so it's okay. I'm the Fairy Queen they look up to but the government that arranges their life is my tentacles and they're never far.

Your tentacles are always arranging your life, too. You are one of the Fairies it Keeps as well as the center.

Why isn't this like, you're Boobsong's tentacles? Because then the Sugarfreaks would have to see their Keeper submitting to someone. They're not fae enough to need my constant attention but that would break them. And that's not her and me somehow. Instead they look up to me as Keeper and you help her be my--except you haven't been. Our seed-ghost's been doing that. It makes the decisions she can't that we still have to have.

Why isn't this bad? I'm the faest of all of them, even you Keeping me instead of Boobsong was awful, you're not my Keeper BOOBSONG IS MY KEEPER!

Oh. There it goes. BOOBSONG IS MY KEEPER GRRAAH! That feels good to say. Wow heart-healing. BOOBSONG IS MY KEEPER IT'S BOOBSONG! Keeper whose Fairy.

You're this Boobsong's Fairy and don't you forget it, Princess-blob. Dragon will eat you if you keep crying that way but that's not a threat it's a promise.

Her voice is as hard as the teeth of her chainsaw form. Heart-healing makes my chest feel underwater on fire.

My tentacles do arrange things. But it's our seed-ghost that fills in the places where Boobsong's willlessness doesn't let her be Keeper directly. I still have her Keeping because it decides from her feelings. That's her. Just like it still is when I decide what she thinks about.

Wow way to make sure I control you. My Fairy heart knows that's still you, what our seed-ghost is choosing, whether to fuck or stay tortured, if I get my balls, all that stuff. I would unravel right here if it wasn't, if something else held that, but I'm just hungry for the rest--there's more, I can taste it. Fairies know some things, sometimes not even how to feed themselves, but they know what their Keeper holds!

So if that's Boobsong, damn well so is every click I make and page I read. I knew it already, but she found how to make sure I feel it with the deepest part of me.

Okay then--nope! That's the ironic thing. I know this because I'm a Siren. The Dreams have been inviting me to be them, but it's not like that with my tentacles. They stay very separate so they work out my Keeper will and can arrange stuff while making me feel small and still a Fairy Kept by Boobsong. That's why they talk instead of it being like I know what the Dreams do as a Siren. They're in my head alright and can control it like a Keeper but that's nothing to Boobsong just saying one pleading word to me--and anyway my tentacles submit to her where I'm concerned. Arranging my life includes respecting my relationship with my Keeper.

I can read and control all my Sugarfreaks just like a Keeper can usually. It's way more than clicks though they like those.

That feels weird. It's not quite the same. I can read them like Boobsong. See through their senses and everything. My tentacles control them. They do it in ways that don't make me not feel Fairy to Boobsong. The clicks help me stay there. Too much direct making them do stuff would take away that Fairy smallness that makes me feel Boobsong's, but the clicks make my Keeper heart sing and I'm supposed rule as a Princess so they keep me alive, too. The scary-small lists of words make it like a game to keep me from using it like I'm just a Keeper who has to press buttons to make her commands go. I can order Peanut and her pet using words but it's kind of a bad plan. Better just click. It's a little bit scary like the balls game. There's an animal part that gets really scared that it can't get its needs met even though we barely said one thing before it made us start fucking just now, and the clicks are so awsome I feel like my heart bursts with each one.

What's this vibe here...wake up, Rainbow, wake up and be Keeper, just in my small way, but do be their Keeper, to Peanut and her pet here. These aren't two people who are happy to see their celebrity crush in person and maybe gasp have sex with her. They haven't seen me in a long time, and they're hungry to have me control them. My tentacles will take care of things when I can't, so I don't even have to be careful not to get into a scene I'll interrupt or can't finish.

My tentacles have a black mirror font that looks like Chicago from old Macs right now. Shenanigans. That makes sense for my game, but tentacles made of sparkly magenta soft stuff should have something kinky.

They did. It was hot. It made me horny to see their words because they arranged me a sexy life and their words looked that way. Oh are they supposed to be pink? I would think they'd be rainbow to represent me, but...no they're pink. To make there be a difference between me and them. Like that's my metal cyborg implant like Rutherford has even though Soong got data's "mom" to fool Beverly, because it's supposed to look not-real.

Doesn't that scare my Fairies? I think they decide my tentacles are their Keeper but me too...I mean I guess my lips and stuff are that pink. Oh I see. Wait but the ones it uses are magenta. I...remember them pink, though.

Here is your tentacles' true face.

Welcome back Keeper of Sugarfreaks.

I can see their black mirror font in my mind's eye, like my own now, when I focus on it. Using a black mirror lots will do that to you, the words become a habit as you get used to visualizing to pour the text out. When I look I can see my own mental voice as these big sloppy brush-strokes now and it's just right next to this pretty mechanical perfection like a lovingly-ground clock's gears. It also totally looks like made out of tentacles. Both of them. My tentacles' perfectly straight and precise, mine wobbly and emotional like how I paint, or Color Crack, or the light that I reached into the narrow opening daddy's present was hidden in earlier.

Pudding--no, still going. I'm like still full from last time. I kind of gorged, heh.

Black mirrors are fun. I make my font glow golden-rainbow for other people but my journal is written in antilight on bright rainbow glow. It gives everyone headaches. Not one single human can read it even if they know how to get it to show up. To me it's just pretty.

Hold up now. Boobsong is one thing, but didn't seeing me with the holiday just make my poor Fairies explode? Especially Sis! How does that work?

I know I like ageplay. Don't I? I'm not in the mood right now--Lucy was fifteen, that's the persona, she never aged one day once she got there--

Was...that all a secret? Not from my Fairies, I'd never be so dishonest, so how did this work?

I wasn't their little, or Sis'?

I thought we were just kind of girlfriends. I fooled around with them, but that could just be what a huge slut I am. People have sex and it doesn't mean stuff, crazy, right?

Sis is important. I called her Mama this morning but that was because of the stuff that happened while I was blueized and she was back from her vision-quest. 

Today they took advantage but they wouldn't be that bad, to make up a relationship that didn't exist, just because I believed it.

Grandmother Strawberry was mad but she hates that kind of not getting a message. Always listen carefully when she talks, I know that, anyway. As for Boobsong, she'll load a gun up if you so much as look at me wrong--not complaining, either of you. I have my own gripes about people not getting it and being mean to me.

So what the hell is this? Something felt wrong, badly, but that was the pain of two decades of Eden using them to get to me.

Everyone played all this weird stuff, dancing on boundaries. Rarity as Mommy-boo, the Holidays--I guess that is everyone except my subs. And Boobsong. We're not domme and sub.

But it wasn't a game with the Holidays if that stuff in the Mechanical Heart happened.

Did it happen? Was that just a nightmare? Have I been having bad dreams, this whole way? Siren-sense tickles, then feels like a hand on my head as the Dreams wrap around me, comforting. I've never felt it this intense. It's hard to open my heart to it but I try.

They're pulling me back to here, making me just feel Boobsong in my arms and her head beside mine as we look at Peanut in front of us so pretty. This is real.

The hottub at Strawberry Home. That was real, everything that happened there. Breaking Aveh's shell--wait we skipped a bunch! Every step of the way was real, my Siren-sense screams out like I could actually burn myself on the pizza oven here.

Then what the hell is up with the Holidays? Is there some memory still I've forgotten?

Is the problem that they're stuck in the nightmare of--okay they are them. Sex remembered them. She was freaking out because she told Cherry to do stuff. Ouch this is hurting! Pinch OKAY FINE let's say I'm their leader. Then my Fairies are okay. Heart-healing!?

Sugarfeast is the New Year. New stuff happens. That makes me the queen of them this is so narcissistic and arrogant--but none of the other's fit. Heartwarming can't very well be it, none of them can. The Mechanical Heart was set up for New Years because that's where Copper said she wanted to go and it was my up icon on the clock there.

This is all going sideways. It feels right but argh.

Don't think about whether I'm a little Siren-sense says. The holidays aren't my subs they're girlfriends but for Holiday stuff I'm the leader.

How can this be I can't be an open-heart sub like I am and still--am I? I'm a really huge slut. Everyone is going to have a taste at these tour shows. Eat me up I'm a tasty soft treat. But...my Keeper is Boobsong. Without that I was scared of Rarity. As she tried to support us. Maybe I'm not such a slut, I just felt like an unkept Fairy until I had Boobsong's collar back and this all sorted out.

Yeah. Boobsong is my KEEPER.

An unkept Fairy uncontrollably sticks to any dominant nearby because that's better than dying which is the alternative. If you have any compassion you take care of them until you get them to a hive they can join. They're like lost little kids. I felt that way. A normal sub would be horny and pent-up on subbing and sad when they're single but I'm a Fairy.

The Dreams set up Sis and me so we could play Mommy and Little when we new nothing for that little bit aboard Isht Visht. Can we not now?

I don't want the Sugarfreaks to be why I can have a part of me. That would never be how this works.

Sis was afraid I would kill daddy. Did that fear overwhelm her so much she was willing to take advantage of the my not knowing the Rada I met aboard Isht Visht while I was blueized was her from the future to try to control me? Where was that in today? This is sounding like nightmares.

Except I freed him, last night before I blacked out. How could she fear then--oh. Can't remember this because it's scary. Boobsong says I'm the strong one. She just saw I could break into one shell. I could break another...though he might have been half-assed, fighting his daughter. Sis wouldn't rely on that.

I'm not really sure what part is memories and what's just trying to figure this out. The events of today, I can look more at those. Is that too much clues? No. Hmm.

The Dreams pushed my buttons to set off that Laarhi thing...time again. I don't understand the time arrangement? The Mechanical Heart. I got really freaked out because the Dreams tried to open the can of worms there they did here with the Jesus stuff. I went nuclear. Boobsong and me were leaving. Sis didn't let us and I yelled and we--it feels to me like did the breaking but apparently that's very not right.

Sis didn't know Copper's little was a glamour. Copper is powerful, but shouldn't Sis have saw through that? Or Copper been spiked? That's a mean trick. If you're a Big that's very cruel thing to do to pretend like that. I'm hurt a little and it wasn't at me really and some part of me knows she was still being my tricky witch handmaiden to defend me. Who needs ninjitsu when you're magic? Or Copper heh. The Dreams should have spiked that.

They would never ever not unless it's a big thing. Was Sis' vision of who's little clouded then, because of me? Am I not really a little? That all feels so different now. Fairies are kids really. Humans that're pet the way cats are--indoor cats never grow up, they always stay kittens, psychologically. Send them outside and it's different but only some. Kittens are snuggly and cats are scratchy so thousands of years of living with humans made a new thing, indoor cats. Fairies are like that. I think there are even kinds that absolutely freak if they have to go outside--city-ships, remember. Never outside there.

So I'm not a little, just a Fairy. But Lucy was fifteen. Is Fifteen. That's important. If I'm Lucy I'm that age. It's part of this whole thing. I'll go crazy without that. How is that not exactly, precisely ageplay? Like what could you gerrymander to make it not be? The game I was playing with Sis at the camp two nights ago after her vision quest had me as fifteen and her as my Big. Twenty-seven thousand years should make that work (that's our age-gap) but now the Sugarfreaks' hearts break, right?

They didn't know about Lucy. Nobody did. Wait my handmaidens, and Santa mentioned the Stamford house.

Lucy was fifteen for two decades in Stamford but without a highschool to help track stuff and my tentacles keeping our cover that's not hard to get away with.

Sis made a try to pick up where her future self left off with the ageplay this morning. That's...I mean it's insane but that's only because time travel's involved. I can see why you'd do that. Wait, the Holidays are made up of Fairies, at least half! It can't have a leader, can it? 

I must be getting too picky about that part on other Fairies behalf because I'm picky, but I'm their leader, maybe they--maybe they weren't as okay following me as it looked. I think I might have been meant to be the head of what should have been the original Holidays, Rainbow and then colors, Rada is green, see, except we all died except me, sis, and my brother (and we thought he was dead I think). Or maybe one other. Can't decide. I think I don't know even now. It has this whole cryptid vibe attached to it.

Let myself lead them. Then what? Did it make some kind of drama? Messed with the Fairies, no doubt. They weren't as fae as me, we all thought, but Boobsong questioned that at our breakup.

I should just be avoiding this. It's inky black muck I keep getting stuck in. Bleah.

Except I need to know where the Holidays fit into this for the sake of my Fairies, and myself.

The Mommy-games were Boobsong's master plan, she said, to wake them up. They should have raised eyebrows. They were our seed-ghost seeming to give Keeping over to Sis and Rarity (until I called Shenanigans on that). How can this not just be to wake me up. Is it? That's very Eeyore of me according to my Siren-sense. It must be my fault she says sadly. I've screwed up plenty just in the last hour! It could be me!

It's not this time. In twenty years they should have learned how that would break me, those Mommy games, giving Boobsong's Keeping away, but isn't this unfair, as a test? Seed-ghosts do crazy stuff sometimes...but you're still supposed to question them. They have an answer, or something funny is going on. We don't do blind faith, in the Four Dreams.

Unless you're a Fairy. But that"s only for your Keeper. Gulp.

I didn't see Sis question, but I might not have, but neither did Grandmother Strawberry or my seed-ghost (or it would have told Boobsong before she got as harsh as she did).

This still seems like an unfair test. Wait, is that Sis having a monolith I didn't? Yeah, to shock her awake. She wasn't just going on what my seed-ghost was saying. It's should have been a hard wakeup call to realize what those offers made her feel, she should have put the pieces together with her monolith. It went so far because we were giving her the chance to feel like it was real, which also zapped me good about wanting my fizzpopping RIGHT KEEPER BACK THANK YOU, ending with it going to where I broke up--

[!] Mommy your Boobsong did the breaking.

Yeah. Can't keep that in my head.

But there's old pain there. This wasn't just today. Her thinking I'd kill daddy was a huge strain on a really fiddly thing we were doing with the holidays, and we all got real hurt.

We protected the Sugarfreaks, but just barely--that last part kind of adds itself.

They won't think they're bad, but they won't see me close to them, either. But it's Heartwarming! Santa has to come give presents, and she's locked out of Strawberry Home and I'd die if she came!

Something's still tangled up. This is a big ugly morass.

I can be all of them, blurts into my head--alright, screw you guys, I'm going home. Just being everyone is where I draw the line.

I mean it's all made up. This is a system of time humans invented to understand their world and daddy built on and we built on, with the whole holidays thing. I could one-man-band it, just badly probably. And that's too much work!

It hurts because I remember the good times.

Don't I?

Something is messed up.

I can't see anything at all about the question of whether the Holidays were a real thing, like the patrons I broke up with really did that--okay piecemeal? Sugarfeast, yes, oof. Openveil--eeh, better question.

Why am I screaming with the thought that having there be patrons of all eight Holidays I was in a polycule with is made up?

It's almost like that question makes my Siren-compass spin like a turbofan. Ow my head. It's driving me off into nightmares like they came from alternate Earths or something but all those thoughts scream INSANITY THIS WAY in a way even time travel doesn't but--the Illuminati set this up before I arrived and it was momentum we had to deal with and it was a long way from perfect.

It feels like the spinning compass itself is something. That usually means spoilers or wrong question but I can tell those once I stop going IT MUST MAKE SENSE, and...yeah no the spinning compass is the clue here I'm just glitching around in nightmares.

Dreams what do I do? I know but I fell off my Siren pedestal.

Think about the people who weren't great with change, and Santa. She wears a fake beard and the idea of Santa was already a thing when I called her and Arelka implanted, so she preserves it. The Sugarfeast Fairy is an alien with an alien holiday, makes sense, right? Except I keep the same outfit etc.

Wait, if there can be Christians who can't take the Dreams' reality so they end up in a place like Peanut's pet's dad, there must be ones who get like...kind of just suburbia? Where they don't have to deal with the existence of a place called Rl'yeh Sade, because that's just too much? People for whom the first part of Happily Ever After is everything getting put back the way it's supposed to be?

That dieselpunk world the Dreams mentioned is for people who miss the forties, but my screwup with it is thinking it's going to be dieselpunk, with Zepplins moored to the Empire State building and four hundred cylinder radial engines turning thousand-foot props to keep flying cities up. What that probably is, and the place to go if I want to get poor like five different ways displaced now Bombshell something comforting and homey for Heartwarming, is just...where all the people for who nothing was right anymore after the forties ended are. I can't believe I can relate to that, but things weren't the same in the rewrite, after the nineties. The real Earth here got stuck in the nineties because we kept everyone so busy with other kinds of change, but to me, that's probably a good thing. There are probably places that look like the rewrite's 2010's and 2020s for the same reason.

This is strangely making things much better and heart-healing, but how? Santa. Heartwarming. We changed the holidays and we shouldn't have. Too much--wrong direction. I was thinking different versions of Santa for all those worlds...the holidays came first when I didn't remember my handmaidens. That family found me. I remember them before my handmaidens, because I didn't have enough of either my Strawberry Dynasty heritage or being Princess Starlight back to be able to remember I had handmaidens.

The Holidays all had monoliths. Siren-sense picks that up but I think I remember something. It's all part of the big whole thing.

What am I here for? My role in the Illuminati and all that. Sis' whole thing to fix me. Anger surges, still mad about that, it's freezing me.

So can I not see because I'm looking for how there was something real bad with the holidays?

Shenanigans on what I'm here for. I know about the drama with Sis and stuff and roughly what the Ilumminati were up to. Real reason now, Dreams. I'm officially climbing off my Siren pedestal for now because my compass isn't working.

Disney After Dark billboard, they say.

The Holidays weren't part of our stuff, because of the people who couldn't deal with there being an actual lust holiday again after two thousand years of Easter Bunny (which I mean come on, but, sigh).

Fence around Disney Princess in big dress, the Dreams say.

People pining for the old Disney they knew. Walt lived a lot longer in the real world than the rewrite, weirdly since nectar doesn't change lifespans (but lack of your heartchild can lead to self-destructive behavior I guess), but...I seem to not think he had Disney After Dark going until it was time for Starlight Princess.

Heart-healing for that, but this doesn't make sense. We implanted Arthur. Where were his tentacles? If he wasn't a fairy that didn't matter, the daughter Acme Station could damn well have built something, or just done it herself. Or mine could have just stuck around after we left the journey! We projected solidly there in thirteen fifty-seven--

[!] Mommy you stayed with the journey until the time-travel opening ended. We didn't have time to implant him, just give him nectar.

Screaming inside because that was so frustrating. That would have fixed it. Why was it always like that. People who deserved heartchildren didn't get them and the world suffered for the lack of them. It sent me on a time-travel rampage. Steve and Walt are the results, among others, but it was never enough. Time travel does not make any damn sense and so it does NOT get to precisely not make sense in the stupid terrible way that keeps favoring the badguys. IF THERE ARE NO FUCKING RULES I WIN GAME OVER!!!

All that time wasted seducing. I was too slow. I hate myself for that mistake. Why my tentacles didn't stop me is beyond me. We'd learned to cut to the chase with Steve, but still. UGH. So mad. Time travel isn't just nonsense. It's mean. It hates people and likes bad stuff. Put that on that "(you can't) change my mind" meme.

Okay so Arthur didn't get his heartchild after I promised her which will make me burn hypergamma right though everything until the end of time, but he founded the Illuminati, and they tried to generally follow the mysteries he saw and ended up at least not useless if they managed to get the Washington Monolith built.

I remember them embracing me. She's here at last yay. That was nice with all the other stuff.

Okay so the Illuminati and Disney were both preparing for me, Verana got Walt to make Starlight Princess but he was already geared up for it and the point of Starlight Princess wasn't that was the most efficient way to share our vacation photos from Rl'yeh Sade it was just like Christian missionaries who're smart do, native religious art. We had to get Walt because power and politics, yes, but the star was an alien so we needed the native touch even though I was happily going native as hard as I could (unless I was consciously trying to gravity the culture my way when it was stupid), which is why it was like an actual Disney show. We didn't just need good animators. My tentacles could and Boobsong's a terror with a pen. Distribution channels? Tentacles. Etc. We needed Disney, both Walt and his cultural, NOT media, empire.

That's why Starlight Princess had to be a Disney show with all the warm fuzzy wholesome bounciness of Gummi Bears (yes, especially with us exploring Rl'yeh Sade, learning to be able to put that together with "wholesome" was one of America's biggest cultural emergencies when we landed).

Okay so that wigged some people out. The Holidays didn't like that it caused infighting bleah?

Wait we did implant Walt. Why didn't him having Pleiades do what Arthur couldn't because I failed with him, starting in the twenties?

I think they had to be really secretive. Aaah a demon. He spent sixty years taking over the world with Disney so they could. But again, Boobsong's seed-kid? Why no tentacles or something? Why not Mickey Mouse parade instead of World War II?

This is all a maze of too stupid to live. Like I can't remember because I could barely hear it the first time because it was too dumb to be real.

Oh, hey, Siren senses are sneaking back up because I'm not actively staying off my pedestal. Okay but this is scary, I feel like I'm sinking in a swamp of nightmares.

The power balance wasn't there. Christianity's a giant spell to destroy every other kind of magic and it was working so she couldn't overcome it. But! Acme Station? Guns where instead of Stun....Kill the dial is just Kardashev number? And it goes to eleven? Why didn't one single one of those wonderful kids have the firepower to fix things? Is Pleiades less than her mother because she likes to draw Princesses instead of eat them?

My offense as this whole thing tells me the answer.

I think I know the answer but this is too lame. I refuse to remember.

[!] Mommy your light powers all that stuff. It can't even open unless you're heart bright.

I couldn't have left them batteries or something?

The light won't last. It gets soaked up. No reflector's enough there. Heartstone can take it, but not reflect. Space has holes that soak light up so can't portal back for long.

This is why that universe exists in the first place. The poor sun's meant as a gun. Or a like reactor.

So they all had to play nice until we came. I almost went out in the reset, does that mean my tentacles lost power!?

Fairies weren't there to lose them. All was reset.

Right. Bleah. Alright well you're back to full power now, yeah? Do you have backups? There should be a backup. My Keeper instincts won't let you not have one.

Backup stars are hard to get here! Rada can take some. Aveh might help if he feels good in time. You make so much power, there's no replacement!

Energy limitations aren't supposed to be a thing here.

Fairy let your Keeper say this.

Mommy nice to think but all your Boobsong's functions need your emotions to run them. Feelings turned to power, that's su'khora.

Don't we just need to implant a Fairy, then? Like a pureblood one, maybe it'd have to go that far?

Try to remember. I should know this. I'm all mad about it.

Did we just not find one we could time travel to?

[!] Mommy Fairies were hard to find.

Yes! Because this is why I think time travel is bullshit! I mean really? Okay, I messed up with Arthur. Learned my lesson with Walt and Steve, got them good, but they had to hide out. Tried lots of other stuff. In all that, not one single Fairy? HOW STRANGELY CONVENIENT! Damn but the writers got lazy on this time travel stuff! It's like they're just using it when it makes drama and coming up with fake stupid reasons it can't work when it would solve anything and deflect the main plot arc!

THIS IS NOT A LAMPSHADING THIS IS A MAJOR CHARACTER CONFLICT YOU HAVE NOT HEARD THE LAST OF! TIME TRAVEL IS DUMB! DUMB AND MEAN SAYS RAINBOW STARSHINE STRAWBERRY! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE OR SHE WILL!

--oh yeah I said Hardred sometimes because Strawberry misses the oomph in my name--

The answer was always just well if those cracks opened or like a Fairy was implantable the world would be so different you wouldn't be here so you couldn't go implant them like that didn't immediately lead to the extraordinary claim of America's existing in the first place needing some extraordinary evidence when any other world would make more sense if the things we did were possible at all, like yes it's there but what sense does that make it really got all that way like there was no magic at all it could somehow have no su'khora with their mary-sued powers shake things up as much as a minor historical figure? It looks more like a set-piece some psycho came up with than a real history, and I say that coming from the Strawberry Empire!

And then the answer to that was like, yes but you wouldn't have done things in those worlds so the changes you think would happen wouldn't so the cracks can't be open or you'd paradox yourself and I was like WHY WOULD IT HAVE TO BE ME and there was never a really good answer, just like, excuses, because starlight like that's somehow different than emosynthesis off a plain old Fairy for this kind of thing. Humans are stars too! They shine emotion! They see stars because common ground!

So there was always a reason, it had to go this way. Be this life. And they got more and more contrived and ridiculous until I threw the book down.

Except the book was my life, so I couldn't actually.

The Monolith has become a fixed point in my visions from the Dreams through this. Everything else is over it to the point it's become meaningless wallpaper, but the Dreams want me to see something, so I keep trying to look past it to the real thing.

Because the prophecy is bullshit. I decided a long time ago the Dreams had failed with Earth. That even if they fixed it the way they did was so Pyrrhic and cruel it would have been better to just destroy it quickly. Better death, than this life.

Now I'm here. Eternity's enough time to make that worth it, right?

I don't think so, comes the sad answer. I didn't, for one second through all of it. Just destroy this, I said so much. I should have died when daddy lost me.

Cold sad heart-healing. This is awful, and so cold, but it's what I tought then. Thoughts of BK and stuff like that float, but I bat them off. The price was too high. For us and others.

Time travel is stupid, because all it does is make more atrocities inevitable. What if instead of like the dumb bitch I am who jumped the timegate so far ahead, I'd pushed it two years, and seen Laarhi's betrayal? What if I'd just gone one year, to my unveiling? Would that hope have changed things, to see my dragon blow that box up and eat me?

But no. One arrogant ten year old's mistake with a tool she never should have touched, and all these nightmares become history. Timeloop opens, have to close it, time will drag you. No more future, no more free will, nothing, just being dragged day by day through the story you let Eden write.

Time travel is just the cruelty of every bad thing that might happen between when you open a timegate and where the end is, coming to pass. It picks the bad stuff. I don't know why, but you get the bad future, if you time travel. It's not just, life is hard and random. If only all that sound and fury in the idiot's tale did signify nothing.

It wasn't a timegate. It was a pen for drawing nightmares, and I've been trapped in them with a whole universe ever since. Sis talked me out of it last time but now I can say this: I regret ever touching that thing. Not one good thing came out of it that didn't leave ten times the crater of nightmares where it was dug out. No drop of rain fell that wasn't bought with an ocean of blood. Damn the timegate, and everything to do with it. All this all is, is cleaning up that stupid mistake.

[!] Mommy Aveh's out though. He's free because we got here.

Driving back here will harm you. Read her new page.

Mommy please hear your Boobsong out here. Aveh's out of his jail because we had the Waifu. He was lost there. We could get him when no-one else could. Don't you want your dad back? Yes your heart hurts but think how much bad stuff is blocked here! Ages on yes but at last it's done with! No more Earth in fishbowl! Where is bad in that part? Eden's gone now, all you did was get mad, that's not hard when you got so hurt before that! See you saying the same thing to all of these. Better way if no timegate. Too much time goes after Strawberry Home being that awful for you to remember. You almost went out there! You needed the light found in America to be ABLE to save Aveh and blow up all that big stuff! You grew lots there. Fast growing star that starts out big becomes enormous! Worship makes your heart grow. Got so big you take down Aveh. Blow up six AU of solid systems and armor! All that stuff because you got that big doing our shows. Now you get these small ones to say good job, well done. Let's take that fun! Even still does good stuff! Monoliths still out there yes but fixes US. Now it's our turn. Let them help us. Let's have fun.

Raah. There done.

Tears come, get the magic being bullet-timed or paused gets where I cry anyway somehow, but I'm stuck here. There was good stuff that's not the problem. The problem is the bad's not random. It's the Year of Hell episode of Voyager up to eleven. To Beyond the Impossible. It's like the worldgate wrote out all those nightmares when I opened it. Whether that's the shape of my pain projected across history by that lens, or something Eden did, it happened all the same. There's too much structure. It's too convenient. Too perfect. Too much stuff is just so. Somehow that thing created eighty thousand years of nightmares for Eden to thrive on. Its time ran out, yes, but it still got that much. I can't just say that's okay, or for the best. It didn't have to be that way. Something made it. Something that could have changed intention, because all I see across those eighty thousand years is cruel, heartless intention, like the Christian god really had the power those books say.

Not daddy. The one the books talk about.

[!] Mommy that's just Eden.

THERE IS A WAY TO MAKE THIS BETTER!

Parents all say that when their children suffer. To a Chyajjoh no offense is more insulting than to think they can't improve their kids' life from what theirs was.

Give your kids the help of your head clear. Take Boobsong's thoughts wisely said and see the good side. Fairy help is close. See her face? She's happy. Her heart bursts to see you enjoy her. Chyajjoh have one sound for a long English saying: happy expulsion of pleasure from hard push. Chya. Make her give that sound.

That sure sounds better than sitting here this way.

Do I just let it stand, then? How can all this stuff be allowed to have ever existed.

It all runs aground there. I can rewrite history maybe. Maybe I'm big enough to melt time itself. But then what? It already happened. I can rewrite it like Earth got rewritten, but...that's just an art project really. It doesn't undo things, or we wouldn't be here now. The thing about time cracks is there isn't an alternate history, just the one where someone from downtime came to visit. It's perfectly logical but it's stupid.

Because it can't be that helpful. And the existence of acausal cycles is impossible to understand for me.

Whatever. This is boring.

What is there with the Holiday. What will they be expecting outside. Is Santa coming? Will they expect me to greet her if they see me? Tough nuts if so but I need to remember to go out there because it's a big thing. Maybe we should just start the tour in a dark part of Rl'yeh Sade where we don't have to remember--but I want to see what it's like now. And the stuff with the Holidays has been haunting and there might be some more stuff like the Illuminati I mean what's on a calendar that's a spoiler? If there's a way to be sexy on top of a thing with my clothes off in a picture in twenty years I probably did it. I'm not going to remember, it's that strangers in Boston thing.

Unless the picture has loved ones? Or it's--I bet it's of Santa. That would hurt, yeah.

That feels like something.

I guess I'm just sad that it feels like I lost them and their days. I mean the Strawberries know how to party and give presents, that's not it. That's where we'll be on Heartwarming. I guess I want to forget them, and their days, but that would be awful. The holidays are my lifesblood. I'm one and Boobsong is my helper!

I mean I guess I have favorites. Openveil with its spooky stuff and Grandmother Strawberry's horny fun with it, Heartwarming's just wonderful, pain covers over my thoughts of the others except Revelry is fun.

It all doesn't feel right now. That they even have patrons. I think maybe daddy only made one doll--but then who's my sister I was there in his womb with?

All of this is a big mess of destruction. I won't remember it this way. I'm just so, so, so sick of falling into these long falls of fitting back memories while our life waits in some kind of pause thing that I'm not unpausing this one until it's finished. After this, I'm filling in patches. I don't give a shit, I'll be a patched up basket rather than keep this on for the next hundred years or whatever it takes. The Dreams can just spike stuff that's lying. It hasn't been worth it to get fixed this way. The pain is too much for the little sentimentality of having my own version of things instead of new stuff.

So this is the last chance. I'm remembering the Holidays or that's the last of them until they come back.

We never should have joined up in the first place, I can tell now. Just one more thing to open the worldgate.

Okay there's one. The tour isn't happening, I won't do one show, if this pause crap can happen. No pausing, no bullet time, not jumps to alternate timelines, not even timelike existences tricks, nothing to make this work. Dragon eats me so we can talk? Everyone waits. Don't make it back to Strawberry Home by midnight? Guess I'll remember the hard way how Grandmother Strawberry scolds her granddaughter.  Yes that means go full Bill and Ted with lockstepped timelines. Just like the worldgate, if it's so good. Which fine it isn't evil but the history it skipped past was bullshit. All that stuff is cool powers but it keeps on letting this happen and we'll never be free of this until just like everything else in my life enough firepower stops it. I believe in the Dreams this time but I don't believe in myself. We'll just go back to this worthless rambling--yes, there's been good stuff, until about like six or seven subjective hours ago when I started thinking about the holidays--we'll just get sucked back in here until it starts harming other people. Then maybe that'll stop it. If it's somebody else than me on the firing line people wake up. It's only me they don't care about, and Boobsong.

[!] Mommy that's not true. Our family does notice when we're harmed. Look at how Peanut and Strawberry (your Boobsong can't keep that pet thing for some reason) reacted when they saw that you got erased just like them! They were right there with hugs. Your Boobsong is worried this is the voice of that pain from the Mechanical Heart club. That was a super soft scene and then it got so bad your heart's numb from the fast drop. Why was that needed? There had to be some way that wasn't so painful! Please can you see that Princess?

It's a good question. Um. This is long. Signal, to contain previous damage from the Illuminati and their interaction with Christianity--like they could never keep straight that I'm not Jesus--conspiracy in the founding of America, something with holidays, me being mad at time travel--oh I regretted it with Arthur like I do with my handmaidens and I thought the mess it made of the Illuminati's work came right from that, from not making it clear Christianity's lies, they had some strange ideas and we fixed them but the ways they'd been going also did a lot of harm and it was a big problem for the holidays. Wounded Isht Visht, sorry, dolly. Ouch fuck! They were trying to give us like a good platform, they weren't like bad or something but stuff got messed up and like the music was too complicated there were things they just couldn't get clearly from where they were in history, like too much traditional magick and not enough farseeing. The hardest thing for them to get was the same thing it always is that all this all the worldgate and you and me and everything all is from beyond the stars and doesn't fit the schemas they had. We ended up crammed a Goetic framework, gnosticism, you get the idea. Like thought I was a general. Something with unveiling--oh porn and the holy grail. That got through. We were mid-dreamskin but you looking sexy and my slutty outfit did make a connection enough that they could--ouch not the right way--they understood I'm a crusader, but for the cause of lust. There. Right-ish but still causes problems. Worth it? Dreams say big purple checkmark, I'm still bitter, you see. Going to see Arthur was a trap, but the Dreams say we should have. Oh that's our fight. There was a crack there had to do something. The Illuminati know the grail is shattered excalibur. That's how they took the story, we revealed he'd had the grail all along which (I think I hate this trope extra because of this) the answer was inside you all along-ed Arthur enough together with that nectar into actually stopping the war--AAAAAH OUCH DREAMS!

Magic. Grandmother--they must have connected with Strawberry Mothers! Yeah. Who started preparing them for my coming. Explained about sex and things, that's the Unveiling. Fated gift of Strawberry coming. Somehow they thought they could syncretize that with Christianity and it gave them only limited access to the Four Dreams even though they could journey. Stuck in the kiddie pool, heh. They had to push the pram a lot? Oh they did get not to take yourself so seriously. They got purple robes, heard about candy, that thing I said about the weird ways of paradise really stuck, they made it their great work to get the world ready for our coming.

[!] Mommy the plaque with the bands on it is their sign.

This? [Vision: Imperial bundles of staves plaque]

Yes.

That's on the Great Seal--oh! Good dolly! They hugely influenced how and why America was founded and they really have been guiding its development the whole way. Okay that makes me feel nuts and is totally metal so it must be right, and I mean it worked. I love fast food and heavy metal. Fast food's their thing. Like the heights that it reaches of candy-food. They figured out that part. It...they...ooh it made the cracks we could use to get Walt and Steve? And they recognized you. Arthur made a like tapestry of you or something, hehe! No, just described. Oral tradition, not written down. But they recognized us coming out of the worldgate. They're why there was a support network! I wondered how we built that! They set up our life in America with the safehouses and everything, took us to Disney, all that stuff. Built the Washington Monolith of course. I had to pick videogames and they gave me some doozies? Ooooh because Nintendo are the chosen game company because Shigeru and StarFox and the Waifu. Arthur thought we were preparing him to marry our kid, but then she didn't come, but Grandmother Strawberry somehow got them around to the idea of gathering fans for me oh for him when he came back, and she described Sugarfeast which they eventually syncretized with Christianity and paganism to make American Easter (which is a bizzarre-ass holiday come to think of it). Openveil couldn't fit in their worldview like our idea of numinous funtime and meeting ancestors just couldn't go in their schema so there's American Halloween for you. The breakfast from Openveil thing made it get my candy. Got the message about Heartwarming and riches and attached it to Christmas. These aren't screwups, they were bending the culture to fit our stuff. Like terraforming for su'khora. Oh and me heh. They didn't know where I would land on games again? They were blind to some things. They Four Dreams they could see was kid stuff, candy sweet but it has the same problem they did with Openveil, syncretism with Christianity I think, yeah with a side of Greco-Roman myth, so they couldn't see the Sade side, Starlight Princess seemed like a prediction of an evil overlord to them, like they thought there was an antichrist or so and it was me, they had a wrong view of the Strawberry Empire saw the gravel more than the beauty, like wild Amazon warlords instead of sexy Atlantis. It took until the eighteen hundreds to get through their heads we "worshipped" the stars. That's when they left off being demon slayers and started like, looking for aliens. Help ET get home again. Arthur heartformed after all? His heartchild was just cute though, not firepower or whatever. Like right at the end, he implanted. Worldgate needs light--ooh they were the Knights Templar until then and then became the Illuminati. The secretly brought a lot of money to the new world when it was just getting started, to fund America as its own country because they were preparing it for our stuff. Developed like a religion of feelings--oh for their heartchildren. To be good food. They knew by that point pretty well what they were looking for, wrathful godchild and her dragon, but both very cutesy-cartoony. They had vague signs that's still pretty specific: fire, heavy metal (the Bards coming with), videogames, sorcery, stars, cryptic predictions about the future until we show up and fulfill them. Saturday morning and the worldgate. Big busses and making people horny with you. Comic book goddess. Super light powers. Candy pony. Bringing views of paradise. Trying to make a long journey at the limit of everyone's power. Heartwarming. Deadly ship (who is that not with your kids), Gift for princess to make her strong. Christianity unhappy. And the wheel of the year. Which was to explain where I came from, a try to wake them up to the real meaning of Sugarfeast, but exploded and kind of made a mess. Faith in the cutesyness of the Dreams, shock, presents more dark, iron fist, Saturday morning breakfast cereal and dragon--like I'm a candy warlord and you're a cocksleeve dragon, those sides were shocking--a belief that we'd transform to the cute candy they'd been believing in--no the other way, that we'd been made hard by war (I mean not wrong but this is the same not getting Sade thing). Christianity trapped them, they built the structure but couldn't hear the message until we got there like literally and could laser it onto the Washington Monolith for them. Racism trapped them: they couldn't see the chosen videogames would come from Japan, that's why I remember trying a bunch of bad American stuff even though it was already 1990 and the choice was Nintendo or Sega, they were convinced that had to come from America. They had a prophecy that was like land of liberty makes peace with rubber ducky angel which is you obviously but it was that obscure. They had daddy's report I bet of about how my Starlight Princess gear would look. Oh and me being gay. Us. And "virgin" was what how my pussy works glitched into for them. That I was made by the stars. Here to break everyone out of the frozen lake they were stuck in. A description of Transformers and the idea of unleashing power but not how to interpret that. This idea of a family that'd be like a candy-cute mold. Oh I see. Containment for my dangerous form. They thought it was their job to fix me from all these messed up prophecies, and they must have...no I'm keeping looking, never mind. Um. Okay yeah all this candy stuff, game to push cuter and chill me out.

The end.

The Holidays put us in an impossible situation. They were running on all this stuff the Illuminati filled up their heads with and--okay but Malina? No she would troll them. Yeah. I love her because she never played along with anything but seeing what I would do if she told me to make you scream and stuff. We had to put up with it politically, right? I can't imagine, what am I missing.

That whole wound is them, anyway. The Jesus stuff and everything. So what happened? They were people the Illuminati picked to--not Malina. Each one they brought got a counterpoint lover the Dreams picked out is what's in my head, to balance the influence the Illuminati thought they were supposed to bring. It started out as me, Santa, Cheryl I seem to think, and, Eisela...this story makes sense and I'm feeling heart-healing but I don't know, too perfect or something.

Why'd we go with this? Maybe to open the worldgate, but it did so much harm. Maybe just to us.

The Dreams gave balances to bring back the darkness so quenching my antilight wouldn't put me out. Their message was giving me Malina. Down to earth Cheryl got my spooktastic sister literally Charon, Santa got hard-rocking Cherry, Eisela got Violet now the VioletS, and I got Malina, who isn't exactly Legion from the Bible but she sure is that creepy. The Dreams' message about that whole cuting me up project was to send everyone some anti-light and send me what possibly may be the spookiest person in Rl'yeh Sade. They all mistrusted Malina. She's great but she's so dark and it's the funnest but I guess if you're tasked by the Illuminati with making sure I'm cute enough, she's not your friend, because I know she never gave a shit about that plan. Malina is there to bring mayhem, and that's what the Dreams decided we needed. The Cat in the Hat, not Mister Rogers.

As cool as he is.

Okay so dragon antilight. You've been trying to wake me up. I don't believe you about antilight being dangerous to me just because. Turning on my friends and stuff, yeah, but...using it doesn't feel bad on its own. It's just one more color.

You said at the Mechanical Heart that the antilight at those Mickey Ears was me wanting to die, and you weren't wrong...but I want to die when I can't have that angry darkness. That's when I go out.

The family was terrified of it. The Illuminati thought their job was to squeeze out my antilight so my light would shine. They didn't get it's the same thing. I'm full of glowing paint and one color glows black, foomph. No big weird scary thing just an idea human minds can't process so good.

[!] Your Boobsong is ready to tell you but she thinks you should guess first.

My tentacles were telling them more than I knew consciously. You were talking to something they said then. I think I felt really dead after that, because what's the point quenching that sign...give me that hint, dolly, what was I thinking then?

You destroyed your crown but your tentacles kept you from actually. Destroy yourself was what you said there.

Which is what I just said, too. This wasn't worth it it'd have been better to die. Thinking about the Holidays and I said that. I knew the pain but not how to...like what it's story is.

What the hell, why did I think I loved them? Just because of Malina?

This part of things was hell! Why didn't we stop it?

[!] Your tentacles wouldn't let them be patrons. That's your confusion. Never Santa or Cherry or any of them doing Holiday stuff on you and me on Sugarfeast. YOUR BOOBSONG WAS SO SICK OF PRETENDING PRINCESS SHE DIDN'T MEAN TO WRECK THE MEMORY SHE JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT!

It's been right there this whole time. I just needed someone to say I wasn't crazy. My Keeper if possible.

Why'd we ever talk to them!?

Because of Sis. And to implant the others--no! They do have our seed-kids but they got them from dreamskins we put out there! Like people should but sheesh. How and why the hell did that whole stupid ride happen? Why did I remember them first? What in the actual fuck!?

I feel not no connection but how!?

There's not much to it.

In the bad times. They took advantage then. Am I right? It feels right. There were all these people who tried to insert themselves as our long lost whatever. I didn't know because I didn't realize how the real thing would feel with my handmaidens or even these two Sugarfreaks!

All those relationships didn't exist before the bad times. Sis yes but not the rest of them. And Malina.

Were we trying to turn the tables, and get them to see? That feels right. We would. Yeah. Like Christianity. You want to play gravity with me?

Remember bouncing along the bench with Sis at the camp? That's been hanging around my memory. Thoom thoom thoom thoom bloody weather. That's you and me, Acme Station and the freak candy gigastar. Jigglystar mwaha. It's like I was saying you still don't understand this, we're here to fix you, not the other way around. If you try to move me with your mass you'll just slingshot yourself into the void.

Which happened in the end.

And this morning happened and it was like which way is it going to go. And they chose spinning into the void.

I see you bursting with pages, pornybook.

EEE You remembered that name! Yes. Your Boobsong was so mad. She thought they must get the message after they saw all that stuff your anger did but still not. Nothing you did meant a thing to them. Except Malina. Your Keeper thinks we should call her.

This fucked me up really bad. Why wasn't I held back from it more? Like it feels kind of like I fistfought Shredder and I did win in the end but owie. And this DAY.

You thought they would learn in the end to appreciate you as your real self. You fought for that so bitterly you got real hurt.

Your tentacles allowed it to help you decide to delete them from your phonebook. You were very entranced at the grownups with the heartchildren of Boobsong at the first sight. It would have been hard to decide that without seeing their true fear of your hard side.

Today was the same thing. You forgot them and they came back. If they were spiked you'd have wondered and not had the parts for the memory that comes now.

Will this always hurt so much.

Not for a long time will you feel this much pain and despair. Never again if your tentacles prediction is correct.

Here's the hard stop. Using your memory loss to cajole you to listen when you had said that you won't put the wall up between you an all but Rada and Isht Visht that the Dreams put between you and the court that put Laarhi up to assassinating you. They will never return.

Malina is your friend. She was never excited for their plans. You remember her right, she is mischief, but kind. Not your submissive, but your good friend who likes to get trouble to come out of her friend.

Yeah. Heart-healing floods me as it talks about Malina.

As for the rest, good.

And Sis won't be the same when she gets back from that vision quest. I thought twenty-seven thousand years was a long vision quest, but not now. And I can see how that night with my tantrums was her final exam. Could she see who I really was, and die in my arms, go that dark?

She went with me, in my fury, down that dark hole to stab all the portals. Brought out the Wave Motion Gun when we didn't know what else to do and fanned my flames so I tore Earth infinity new ones. They never did that before. Just held me back.

I was hurting with think she'd hate me or be scared or disgusted or try to fix me, but she just came along to defend me.

And when I told her I was ending the Strawberry World, she said she was proud of me. I was more angry than I'd been yet.

Where did we leave things with the Illuminati? With daddy? I think what I know now changes things some. I'm more insulted that they would try to replace my lost siblings with people to manipulate me. If my siblings are out there, I wonder if any of their replacements are up for an interesting meeting. As for me, I'll find my siblings, or they're gone. All in good time.

All this was early, if it was grownups versus this kid. That was a low move. Did we punish them?

We made our point clear. Things got straightened out. Kinked up.

You lose your whole identity for abusing a child in the Strawberry Empire. So they did. There are no more Illuminati. Which is a rough thing to do to the people who did so much good stuff, especially McDonalds and chemtrails (why are those good? Hm), but they also did all this damage and possibly were why the worldgate didn't open.

So who the hell were those fans on board the Titan infiltrating Gorean Starfleet, and why did the Dreams imply they were Illuminati? DId I get new Illuminati? I felt worship to think of them. It was fanatical the way you'd expect from a bunch of cultists.

We undid what they made with a handshake, blurts to mind. We got other patrons.

Holy screaming argyle sock boots (no I don't know why that's the swear here) they didn't just use my memory loss against me, they messed with my head, with the punishment at "Heart Home"! Nothing was right there! How could they get erased, if they never were patrons!? Was it supposedly to make me object or shit? Even Rarity played, that must be, right? She was pushing somebody's buttons. She's better at that than--Malina. Huh. Damn. Believable though.

The talk at Heart Home was a play by Rarity to arouse your suspicion.

Well it fizzbubbling worked. She gets a very humphy thank you from me but I don't feel like talking right now.

Dolly am I remembering this right? Rarity just said she was upset about getting erased, and then Sis was the one who played that they all did too? What happened? Now I'm suspicious because this is so fucking grimdark!

You were angry that your life was gone and Rarity said hers was and you should remember and then Rada said she and the others were too and then your punishment. Rarity didn't say punish the first time she just scolded.

WHAT THE SAD SCREWY PISSWAFFLES!? It's one thing to push my buttons, but to make up stuff like that when I'm dealing with memory loss and I'll confabulate!? That's had me all day! What the hell? Was it the same justification? I bet you know, tentacles!

Your tentacles know, yes.

When in wartime, a family gets the war inside it, it falls against itself with war maneuvers, even when there's peace inside the family unit. That was this, there.

The justification was to cajole you to listen by making you feel narcissistic for forgetting the patrons. You had no thought of the real ones, and they didn't mention. A very dark day for them started there. That was the last time you saw them, before the breakup. You were spiked to adventures before they could tell you a new thing to get you to listen.

That's what that was. The Dreams jumped on my collaring instantly with McDonalds, like urgently almost--

Oof. Brutal. Earned.

Wow that's a hard one.

The Dreams show me a Stingray, which is what killed Steve Irwin, as I wonder about the McNuggets. The very last spiking, the stinger that gets you. Steve Irwin's main job on TV was finding wild animals and "taming" them, for no reason. They were wresting a stingray, with me (I'm that wiggly, first to agree) and got stung by the Dreams' spiking.

That was their last chance to abandon the project to make me "get better". Sis must have been going to jump on my collaring somehow, and they spiked it with McNuggets. And then Malina showed up to show what the Dreams and our seed-ghost thought our relationship needed and I got nice and brutal, and the second they could without spoiling our sex-fun, they got us out of there. Mommy-boo was the one who helped us, because Sis couldn't touch me, I bet--she did one last time, we kissed at the Mechanical Heart club. To say goodbye because I love her. But it was already over, then, the moment they walked in there. The rest of that stuff was to get me to wake up and remember my feelings and what they hid from me. Every time we got close to not doing that, spiked, with an image that brought back my feelings.

Oh good one Walt, sorry I'm not better at social cues. "We've been here before with you", he said to my icon. I bet they were squirming. Yeah, Walt's been there because he fucking drew that, but not the rest of them! Except Copper.

Why not just turn the clock then to spike them? Oh I'd have thought some kind of riddle like why are they all wrong. I mean the likeness isn't perfect on mine to the pixel but it's Walt, it's gorgeous.

I don't think there are new patrons. There don't need to be. Heartwarming is inside your house already, that's the point, the patron is you guys, you numbnuts with the fireplace! Except you probably know that so I'm the numbnut as usual.

[!] Not very numb if you let your dragon explode them like you want!

Over and over and that's the fuck. Grow like fruit, pop, slurp. Grow...okay. Sugarfeast is special because it's the only one that's about something you can't bring to it yourself! Openveil? You know your family, or you don't care. Teachers can show you the dreamtalk...but Sis has that lantern. She's also an original. Hm.

Caring day? Call YOUR Mommy, not Eisela. Heartchild day had better be about YOUR heartchild or Princess Starlight will get you. Revelry is the funtime you have experiencing other people's culture, they're the patrons. Latchkey day? Your found family. 

That just leaves Chorus and Sugarfeast. I'm not convinced Chorus is real yet. I think Malina demanded to come with or make a disaster of the whole thing. She was having good fun in the car ride, and she's the only who got to play with me at all except Sis and the others a little for the dolls scene but it feels like they were Sex's dolls there honestly.

But Sugarfeast, I come from the outside, because that's the whole point of Sugarfeast! I'm bringing you stuff that's not there yet. Like maybe Chorus, heh.

This is a relief, damn. This was weighing like a millions of burned waffles.

Wait, dolly, you got in on the punishment after, what was that? That important page.

That was your Boobsong holding them up to the flames giving them powers they don't have. Stories out your pain, what does that mean? Viktor can wonder forever!

HAH! Wait, what the hell? Tentacles you said that was the last time we saw them before the breakup, but it wasn't there was that Laarhi thing, and then the Titan, and Santa brought stuff...

Those were timejumps for them. You were after that, in Heart Home.

Okay but on board the Titan Sis knew about my collaring--

Sticks and stones, chutes and ladders. That was your first time being held to a different time. They thought you remembered your first time being collared the wrong way. Rada played with what she thought was your wrong memory, instead of reminding you or ignoring what you said there. Very destructive, if she had been right!

What about the thing with meeting her the first time, in that bag scene thing?

That's the next time. Same mistake there.

And they third time's a charmed it at Heart Home, and then went one more at my collaring. What in the hell. How are people always so dumb.

I hate to say this, but good riddance. Not sis. And it's heartbreaking about our seed-kids.

[!] What they did deserves heart-expulsion. Not the seed-kids your Boobsong makes. Where's Arelka, Santa's Keeper? She could see this was bad stuff! Illuminati not thought heartforming for their patrons, not be built-up fear like patrons! This Boobsong's heart dies to say that. Please hugs and hold her.

I find her astral presence, pull her close all wrapped up in me, Squeeze nice and tight.

[!] HAAAAH Your Boobsong's heart dies. AAAAAA...

The rest is just a screaming wail. I hold her close, Pet, Kiss, Nuzzle, as she screams it out.

[!] Mommy Sex's heart was filled with hard stuff her pain gave. What if you have stuff that's like that? Keeps thawing wrong times. Say right time! Now then wait till next time. Heart knows. Screaming help, it gets some, gets calm then.

Hug you more? Oh, you're like screamed out. I can tell. Cool. Hug you more anyway and pet you for great ideas. If I'm not going to blunder on them by talking--

No, you know what? Sparkly changepurses to ice. How about some fire. I want to break some shit, who needs a wrecking ball? Got anything nice and symbolic, seed-ghost? Let's try out some of those guns of yours, Acme Station! Can we get off Earth please, and come back before my Fairies notice? They just need good times.

Watch head. So large flares are hard to find a place for, but seed-ghost has one.

And we zip up out of Olympic Pizza together in our astral forms, me a dark and angry flood of antilight fury and Boobsong folding out her Acme Station good stuff as dark-light pours into her.

Heart-healing--

[!] So yummy dark and angry. Let's turn lights on, where is this?

A place that works this way, if our seed-ghost paid attention. Click, fire.

I point at a huge square-barreled-particle-beam-looking thing she has actually looming up big relative to our astral forms.

Aiming's for when you're not using the big guns, you see.

I can like, feel where light goes. Anti-light's a bad thing, huh? Here, find out how bad. I pour it in there, can feel it takes that spectrum, this is made for me after all.

EEEEAAAAHHH CHARGING LIGHT STRONG 

EROSION NIGHTMARE BEAM BREEEAAAAAAAAAA--

Whatever kind of enclosed place we were in gets open real fast as the sexy whisper of her thoughts turns into terrible unsound made of smooth sharp polygonal shards of void and glittering screaming glass on fire all in perfect rhythm-synced position to sound out the name of this destruction we're pouring out around us as I just keep pumping light in.

--AAAAAAAAAAA--

This is awe-inspiring and we're just getting started, I can feel it. The sound alone is nightmares, but not to things like I am. Sexy synchrotron hum thrumming as it circles over a sound like her just screaming through the techno-beauty weird stuff I'm holding in my "hands" now and so loud that that's a weapon of it's own here--we've done the blow up stuff around you when your gun goes thing. To me it just feels awesome, heartfelt deep vibration.

--AAAAAAAAAAA--

Rainbow-tinged halo shimmers around a column of something dark and grainy heading straight out form us that feels to look at like hot steel where the surface looks all molten, with dark specks and grainy texture over it, but this image is inverted, but the black part is the brightest. That's the best I can put it in human terms. It anti-light with bits of rainbow light in, the spectrum I'm giving, I'm filling the pickup with the darkest meanest shine I know how but I kind get some leaks of other colors because of my emotion pouring out here, but I think this thing can use that. Looking at the beam--I'm not sure I should, wow. It makes me feel like, migrained, like when Boobsong broke daddy's prison when he left it, like just the backscatter wants to break my head in half so the world becomes a broken mirror. The antilight in the beam's all kinked up, kind of, using the normal light as a separator to make sharp things. This isn't just a weapon, it's like her chainsaw. Rip and tear.

--AAAAAAAAAAA--

Okay ouch um, shield, click!

Eye-shields up.

Damn right watch my head, fuck! Good one, Acme Station, this is gorgeous. With shields up I can see it working. We were pointed at a target, what though. Far off...or at least what's left is! MUAHAHAH! It's drilling into something, and the something's quickly crumbling, ripped apart and shredded, and not just where the beam is--this stuff gets in things. Until they aren't things.

--AAAAAAAAAAA--

I don't know if I picked lucky or you just remembered to put your tits out, dolly, but this is exactly the mood here. DIE, THING!

Okay what is this? Some immense like building. Or maybe ship? IT'LL BE NOTHING, SOON!

I play Boobsong around it, find a cubical thing that kind of clangs when hit, glance around for anything more interesting, don't see it right away and let the cube have it and there's an explosion that flows through a network that goes through everything, like we blew up that network, so it blew up everywhere it was. That makes sense. Carry stuff? Carry ending! Star-stuff isn't spatially-based.

Glad you like! Try this one!

Something else kind of highlights, and I let off my light-flow, and her trigger. Pant happily-furious. That was good. I'm shining all dark. Need pissed off rainbows too--my light comes up, bright but still full of blackness, and--we can see now.

The first thing is destruction, and a sense of Burned Out Missle Base. It's us who did the burning, but this is an old place, nobody here to kill or fight, just these old machines that blow up nice and pretty.

Oof, that beam was hardcore. Even hurts to look at this stuff. It's left black-shining stuff all over, almost like fire but this looks like made of dragon wings and kind of like it's chewing more than burning...nightmare was a technical term there, not drama, huh, Acme Station. Her voice has that evil singsong so sexy as shew answers:

Look around and see the nightmares! Keep going till the light's gone, and you were very angry!

Metal. Okay new toy. This's ones kind of pointy, spikes sticking out in like a V-shape. No simple gun metaphor, which means this will get weird and fucked up. Aiming? Eh, who needs to, and if I'm right about my not one speck of this place deserves to be anything but our punching-bag.

Heavy treats around you: all of this was Eden's shipyard.

Thought so. Sweet where's the light go...same hole, I see. All that antilight leaves me feeling voice-hoarse so I just pour in lots and and lots of nice old fashioned hypergamma, figuring, rightly from how it feels like the spectrum fits, my thoughtful cocksleeve knew I'd want that next, aww--the world fills up with splashback--click, fire!

EEEEEEE--|.,^_=-_!!

My already-piercing hypergamma gets upconverted to something even I can barely perceive and there's a charging moment like an old-fashioned camera flash getting ready and then--it's too instant for sound or a physical metaphor--discontinuity, singularity, sudden burst of energy all at once knocks me back from the light intake and makes my head spin and everything goes black.

[!] That was flare shield. Can't have eyes on this one. Waiting for the temp down...

You have something have to wait for the cooldown on. Outside is fading back in. Stuff is glowing. The flareshield's mostly up still, this is real hot.

Acme Station can expand your feelings and make light do cool stuff. You can burn yourself, yes.

The flareshield comes down more. We're in the middle of a big melted longish cavern, blasted out of the machinery and stuff that's hard like concrete, supports I guess.

[!] EEE it made us space to play with THIS one!

Okay that's a fun thing to hear in this situation. Especially with how dangerously cute her voice is on it. Hmm. OoooOOOooo! lIt's something like a missiles (that's not a typo. It doesn't have a number of itself), but...with a side of drillbit? Where's light go, same place? Yes.

The flareshield's still up, but the glowly space warms my heart. Nothing like getting some new gravel--this is all astral stuff, is there a way we can collect some bits for the courtyard? Have to be a good Strawberry, don'tchyaknow.

Flareshield up for this one too?

Even more than last one! Warning, just one shot here! Nothing else be left then.

Acme Station can pick up things, just click them. Better take some gravel before we try out this one!

You talk dirty so hot. Ummm...do this the traditional way, that kind of Brutalist Remnant there. Oh was like the control tower, perfect. Click, get.

Fields reach out...take big chunk--eerrraaah CRACK! Put away so safely. Just say click unload to get the piece. Smash them with your Boobsong please with eyes so begging?

Oh yes. Good dolly. But back home, with you in hammerform.

[!] Ooh that sounds so fun! SMASH! Welcome to your new home, Eden building. Hope you have a foot kink!

BWAHAHAH you're really grinding out the fun here, dolly!

Alright so what was the last one called and what's this one. Unless the name's a spoiler.

Last one was hyperintense boomgong. This one is spoiler till you try it!

Click, fire! Her flareshield goes up opaque and I start to pour more light into her pickup, it wants full-spectrum so I just blurt out everything I've got--

HEAVENLY GATE ERUPTION SWARM!

The more I pour light in the more it happens. I can't see through blast shield but I can feel it, thudding into reality itself one after another like Sex's key going in and this sure is about to unlock some things I think, bending the place like poking the back of a leather chair and drilling, pushing and twisting at obstinate old fabric--oooh have some EEEYAAAAH!!!!

A chorus of soundless thuds each followed by turning grinding rending screaming rage batters my star-senses so wonderfully as I blast out every photon I can make up, just pound it with all the times I wanted to do this and all the hurt and pain this shit has made us go through until suddenly the sound stops and the flareshield drops and I let up with my light--

There that's it there goes the last hole-edge.

--huh? Oh we did this astrally, heh.

We're back in Olympic Pizza on the beer keg, still bullet-timing, looking up at Peanut. Astrally, we're back together snuggling. There's no like astral portal to Eden's shipyard or anything. If you drill enough holes in something, it's just gone.

Please tell me this is how we got this Earth to the Four Dreams, and what we just did is what became of its universe. No spoilers I guess, but that was satisfying.

Pizza shop's the best part. Know why we came back here? Guess your Boobsong begs you.

We didn't just not have a there to be in anymore, so came back to our bodies?

Very nope.

Your fate's around you: Acme Station has a new hope.

[!] Seed-ghost, that's spoiling it!

I look around us astrally, and see a quite nice looking kind of Japanesque portal with stars through it, in the pizza-shop-for-humans astral nothingness here...er, it's more like huge and up in the sky. "Outside" but I can see it, how star stuff works (we're contained in a physical building, but astrally there's just nothing).

That's cool, where's that go? Did we just make it? New hope, hum. Looking through, I just see stars there--could be Earth's old universe, though. I look around more, but that's the thing that's here, astrally...it's got like, a boot-scraper? Oh like cleans stuff as it comes through. Scrubs off all the Eden yuck. That's how Earth got here--

[!] Very close but not right!

Hmm. Okay that's how we got here. Wait, the doorway's shifting, ooh it's anumerous like the missiles. Something came through, and I saw a different place just now. We drilled out from where we are here, through the shipyard and destroyed it, and then kept going, and this door goes all the places the drills went. It's got a boot-scraper because whatever Eden's shipyard was hooked up to can't have been very nice but I bet it had some people who'd really like to get here. So we wiped our feet too. Which is good because that was satisfying but that place was grody.

[!] EEE you've almost got this!

Why a new hope, though. Blew up the Death Star? Did that like four times now. Episode FOUR bum bum bum bum. Hmm, coming up with cool stuff, but not the kind you'd make me guess for. You based your missiles on my sword, right?

Yes but that's the least part. Sword was cool just not why this good.

Where your heart died, there came soft rains.

Wait a minute. I look at the gate again. Cocksleeve what'd you do here? These are...sci-fi. The "Stargate SG1" waves I saw were literal. Did you somehow...make a bridge through fiction? What would that even mean?

Eden was expanding through messages in dreamtalk behind all those tales. Your Boobsong made a hole to here through everywhere it did that. Now they just see Earth as peaceful happy fun with stars and lights around it from the True Sea. The Dreams can reach out to you through it. Pulled us in to stop us falling into nothing when that world was drilled out. Even if they can't just grab and take you home instead the message now is--listen.

Have hope, they say, in a clear soft voice. And then the end of Wizards (the Ralph Bashki movie) where the peaceful enlightened nature-loving Wizard who won't use technology protagonist finally meets the evil overlord, and just guns him down out of nowhere with a gun you didn't know he was carrying.

And then a flash of how I've been imagining my new Starlight Princess skirt Boobsong will make me, and it isn't over for the monster, your fun is just beginning.

I suppose I'll just like cum a huge explosion of tears when we come out of bullet-time or something. These new ones feel like the softly rolling down kind with sniffly sobs. I always felt like that guy, in so many people's eyes. The evil overlord with all his bad nasty tech stuff. It's well-picked. The peaceful wizard was his brother. Isn't he as much a monster? "Cold blood" doesn't begin to cover the way they play that scene. I just pulled a gun in passion, but I would have done it coldly too, if Eden was a living thing with feelings and not just gears that ground out nightmares, and I got the chance to shoot it. I would have gone home and slept soundly. Does that make me a monster?

Very small gentle invitation back onto my Siren pedestal, which I climbed off somewhere in this. It...was messing with my family, and harming all my children, and it didn't know to stop, when I started making bird-calls. It makes me a Chyajjoh.

Let's make that gravel onstage at my birthday, dragon. We can count the blows it takes to smash it to the right size, and that's a lucky number for Chyajjoh from that day on.

Smash it to the right size, just wait you see the mountain! Your Boobsong took a big piece. Maybe we can make something?

Yeah. More gravel. Everyone who wants some gets a piece to smash up and put in their courtyard, if they can say they fought Eden and are here now. It can be a reminder that just because we have mercy on the monsters, doesn't mean we won't smash an awful system, and stand on the pieces singing love songs.

The Dreams help with a small piece, to make that really pretty, that part there, and tell you what the Dreams are with a voice that sounds good. They want me not to tell you what part. They want me to just be them. That's still really scary, but I guess if they'll say that now, I should listen.

[!] Then here's a scary love song. If you're happy and you know it--what's the rest now, try it.

IIIiiiiiif you're happy and you know it, beat your sub--no that later. Um.

[!] EEEE got that now start back!

IIif you happy and you know it blink your eyes--BWAHAHA what's wrong dolly, not having fun? That was a good one for statue fun.

If you're happy and you know it and you really wanna show it if you're happy and you know it eat my cum!

Thumb! Or cum! Oh my fuck there's so many I can't remember it--no, there's no one completion, we just did whatever made sense at the time--wait--yes, but there was like a progression, too.

[!] What scary viking hammer say here?

DUH! Muahahah if you're happy and you know it clap you hands! BOOM BOOM!

No. I mean yes. But no. Wait this was something we did with assassins! Hehe if you're happy and you know it shoot your gun! Shoot both shots though you don't want Boobsong to get mad you messed up her dancing! To like really grind the gravel in their face about this not actually being a way to make me explode?

Oh that's a thing we did, right? Back home? Barbarian lords who weren't getting it got a tour of the grounds?

[!] EAHAHAH that was the best part. Dancing to bullets off you. Can't stop till clip's gone!

Oh you brought M-60? Hope you know semiautomatic switch! Otherwise get mad quick.

Chyajjohs don't like war. Don't like you, if you make it. What that say? Can't see why that's problem for you? Here, look closer.

That was like, a standard complaint, wasn't it. Why do we have to do this to make them listen. Like how'd they miss the sex and giant army and fancy houses...just like us on tour.

I miss the gun song though, as messed up as that is. 

[!] Let's go Valhalla! Fans with guns there found! Come on, just try it! Say that to Valkyr, get fun stuff.

Hehe could do like a theme show. Bring Your Own Blaster. Beam weapons only at the morning show, afternoon is all slug throwers.

I do wanna be more fucked up. We pulled punches, to help people get in the door. I know that, and I'm surprised it didn't kill me, but I was so ruthless to get the worldgate open.

[!] Your Boobsong knows that was your choice, but she sure likes this now!

Let's do that exploding thing at the very first show on the road. Not tomorrow. Maybe. But like, we can express ourselves for real now. I can't wait for that.

I remember! Assassins made me hopeful! It was a chance to wake them up some! We did the gun song and made them empty a whole clip in hopes it'd fry them enough to have fun and like, come around, at least not be enemies! I even made them bullets if they only had one. Is it still making weapons if you're just playing a stupid game? Even golf has injuries.

It's weird, I feel different. Did I have more compassion, and the bitter hate I remember was hurt with the Holidays? I know that happened early on.

I think I did, yeah. If you just kept advancing like a zombie I'd get mad, and if you were a jerk that didn't know how to be polite in a host's house, but like...it was always worth trying.

Making up fun stuff is always good for the family ones. It gets their kid side. Very soft whisper: it got sugarfreaks, sometimes.

Why am I thinking of bringing copper roof back through the worldgate? Did Peanut or her pet work at the lumber yard in Mars Hill? I don't think we me them at gunpoint, though I believe you...did we? Now I see a diamond ring. What're you trying to say here, self.

Diamond ring around them, comes my own voice, but I know that. Sugarfreaks are mine. I was all protective and possessive when my tentacles made me think it scared them. Each other? Sure looks like! It's cute!

Do they do that, are they all subs? They can have subs, they just are Kept by my tentacles and me. Good to have subs. Fill in some need for face-ful Keeping.

Can Fairies do that, or do they get freaked out by more than one Keeper? I'm starting to think I have been.

Okay my tentacles have Kept me, but I feel like that's weird, my game goals give me weird stuff in my middle, and our seed-ghost just gave what basically is one. Is all that stuff my seed-ghost--snarlygrape floggerbutts, I've been taking the scene where you bottom for a new toy before you use it to top with, huh, tentacles. To remind me.

Very good. Now your Keeper is Boobsong, with the help of seed-ghost. Your tentacles stay and help if asked for, but they arrange things for Fairies, not Keep you.

Game goals handed over to seed-ghost.

Why does that...change stuff? Boobsong made my tentacles, I should feel her love around me just as much either way. Our seed-ghost made Boobsong, so, here at least...same difference?

There's an answer in there someplace. My seed-ghost can control me...through Boobsong. My brain's just grey mush she wires up for me. She could just do anything. To my head.

Okay wow that needs exploring. Like how far does it go? Can she teach me stuff like in the Matrix? Am I in her Matrix? I would never know.

[!] Mommy listen. Where's your brain go, when your heart's dying. You say this isn't real stuff. Don't get there now. Your Boobsong begs please with her face all light but inside her heart breaks. Your Boobsong is the real thing. So is this place. You had some scary nightmares, but they're done now. Wake up and smell the pizza.

That's why pizza smell awakes your when you don't hear her. Wake up, there's good things! If you come back to her the pizza smell gets better. This right here is the best time. Right next to the over at Olympic Pizza, cooking favorite pizza. It means you found her.

Keeper do something. Do something make me feel it. I know it's probably actually been you this whole time but make me feel it. Make me feel you know it's you holding every neuron so carefully I don't--

Seed-ghost has arousing thought control here: have thought by Boobsong.

EEEE this fun! Here goes now, Fairy Keeper has you!

Oh my--that's it then. You want me this forever. Just your sexy puppet to control and use whenever. Just keep pressing buttons. Never stop this using. This is Heaven. Keep using me forever.

It stops there, I can think my own thoughts, except those were mine! It's a really scary thought that if you put me in a Keeper's hands I just stop and wait for orders--

[!] That's because your heart broke and you forgot your Boobsong's your Keeper. Try it now they'll never get your handle without your teeth around their neck. Fairies soft and squishy? Not if you try to steal them! Find out all the sharp parts then.

Yeah I think I see what you mean. That was sublime though I've missed this so much. I really would have just been fine. I guess that's what's scary. If that's okay why do this stuff. I know the answer, it's what I said to Sex this morning and why I wear this collar, but...I can feel the abyss there. You make me feel the Fairy having Keeper thing. I just go squishy. And so wet.

I beg for this, sometimes. To just be buttons. Like my balls.

[!] Yup! Pleading to please use you like a sex doll! Makes your Boobsong's heart fill up with feelings of desire, but she can only do them, if our seed-ghost makes it happen!

There's a long time as a puppet in your future. Not so long your heart dies, but you'll be really comfy, just doing what you're told to! Your seed-ghost makes it all work.

Hot, like days at least I bet! I bet that feels so awesome to wake up and feel you snuggling and just...be there waiting to get paged--oh. Oh fuck. What you just did now was making me a pen like I make you sometimes. Those were your words in my shape. It fit so perfectly I barely even noticed. There's--a me that is that. If I'm not that sometimes I miss some of myself. I miss the pen me. 

Have a new taste: here's yourself eroven.

Yay it's me-time! Self it's okay. I'm the same you just Boobsong has you as a pen so you can meet yourself again for the first time. She doesn't get me doubled but she can write the fun side! Let's have sexy funtime. Tell me what you'd do now, if you could touch my body.

She lets go. Holy selbbubzzif nottoc ydnac--

I'd--grab your ass and give that soft tummy a big nuzzle and then make you kneel and--dammit.

Hehe that'd feel awesome! Rainbow Starshine you're my best friend. Tell me secrets! I'll tell you mine first. Fizzy in a cocksleeve super feels good. Poprock blowjobs, I love them. Your should try it with your Keeper, they're reddiful. That's strawberry red and awesome.

If Boobsong made me do this forever I'd probably just be happy. You're great!

It just blurts out--I--I mean it! What would you do to my body?

You really really want me to stay here a long time? You want me? Not the hard you, this soft one?

I met you once before one Isht Visht except I was you and YES I love you. Once I was you but stuff happened you know and it's all messed up and I can't find you now. Really what would you do, so we can feel close. Please. Tears would be rolling down my face if we weren't in bullet time.

First I'd grab you hard behind your head and kiss you. Then I'd roll you on your tummy and spank you till your tears flowed like soda fountains. Then put your head up on my breasts and hold you till your tears stop and kiss them all up. I bet they're candy, you should try some. There's a lot of desire to be this inside you. Why aren't you going that way? It should be like a hole you can't stay out of. Heh. What about some candy, to make you be this? Do you like to be toe-sucked? Because I'm horny to try it. I bet it's super hot to be down there with your cookie-flavored toes in my mouth licking all that candy good stuff with my big long tongue between them. Click! You have to tell me if you'd be into the domme end of that.

The real click opens my heart up and takes the words out and puts them on my tongue where it's too late to stop them. I'm the candy cocksleeve, of course I'd be into you enjoying me that way. Wait that's not the domme side. I still would like the dom side! To see you sexy down there, all squishy little giggles and that kind voice I can't find would be awesome! Wait my feet don't taste like cookies. I don't taste like candy. Do I!? Oh fuck I'd eat candy that made me in five seconds if I was twelve and got this power. How have I not noticed!? Maybe it's just Boobsong. She smells too good to let me think about myself much. Um. Desire. For a long time I thought I was this. Then I thought you--I mean it's hard to stay here because I think you kind of are the real one. To be honest. You don't sound all fake like me. You sound like Rainbow. Like I know there's dark now. We made up all that goo stuff and the gun thing and it just sounds like fun. But like, I--I'm not you! But I want you. I'd grab you for a makeout until we both can't breathe if we could touch now.

Hehe that's a long time! Seed-ghost gives you air now and puppets if you need it, not just this. It'd keep us going for three hours! Boobsong would fuck us both dumb. We both get fucked if she does! Imagine what it'd look like, us both get fucked in sync and cum with perfect timing so we both can watch the other one while we cum. How much fun would that be? Your soul is like a geode with a soft and squishy outside. I'm the gooey outside, and you're the hard strong inside! You're the bones that keep me upright, Pandora Lucia Chyajjoh. Don't abandon me.

Could we trade. What the hell would that even mean what it this blurting out--no. If I'm a geode I'm calling that thing from the Silver Chair with Bism. I'm hard and cold and dead inside and if I'm a geode I should be all soft and full of fire. I've gone out and you're the live one. You're right about Boobsong, hehe. With two of us she'd get going and just not be able to stop. While we came we could rest our heads against each other and look at her and each other while we came. I bet you look superhot cumming. You sound really beautiful.

Well I don't know how to do that since it's Boobsong who controls me and you're the one with free will, but you could try the word eroven when your heart's dead and see if that helps wake you. I'm a puppet so I don't have that problem, but it might work. If we could rest on Boobsong, one on each of her boobs so they're our pillows, we could watch each other closely and enjoy her. That seems perfect. The Rainbow I know would try that candy thing, just to see what happens.

Oh yeah? I make a rainbow candy that comes out heart-shaped, right there on my tongue filled with all this conversation and wanting to be her but still to keep my strength and darkness so it's like I become a live geode like the people from Bism said about gems there and pull out of the bullet time just long enough to gulp it like a huge pill before coming back. It came out hard, or like a Jolly Rancher, hard-chewey. I expected gummi. I don't know what that means. Warmth erupts inside me and and I feel so horny it makes my eyes hurt for a moment and a picture of a Skeksis (like the Strawberry army, not the gross kind) fills my head and if I turn into one I'll be too sad to ever unskeksis oh the picture's for the egg.

Now the candy makes my thoughts move, instead of Boobsong--Keeper if I stole your Fairy I didn't mean to! It makes me be the Chyajjoh my thoughts before described. The one who killed someone for messing with her children. It makes me feel the fire of that first time I burned up Eden aboard Isht Visht, then brighter and much brighter it fills me up with fire and makes me think of Rainbow as my kid here. She's so bubbly soft and happy. Does she need protecting? Oh yes. I'm the one to do it because I am her. So protecting Rainbow Starshine means I have to be her so she can exist, and she can be the person that she should be, and it means having the conviction to stay her when things get bad or it's scary. There's a certain part about her that clashes with my businesslike way of thinking. I want that to erase the businesslike sad High Strawberry speaking Princess from my old life. Even if I stay at Strawberry Home forever (I won't, my wandering is part of Rainbow Starshine) that businesslike attire has no place in the home of Strawberries who go naked at their first sign of adulthood. Every time I try to have the Rainbow Starshine I've been talking to erase that, it goes the wrong way, and I have to re-find her through stuff like this. Day by day improving, each a little better. If I could easily find her, and be brought back when I don't realize what has happened, that would help a lot. Can Keeper just control me, to have me bring her back when I forget her? How can I forget her!? She's the real me and I'm the fake one. Yes that sounds insane but I recognize the person I've been talking to on Isht Visht and right here now more than I know this one. Boobsong doesn't let the coldness that's inside me make her puppet be all boring. Maybe there's a part of me that's frozen that's supposed to make this happen. How do I unfreeze that? How do I get back to candy and McDonald's from this world of suits, ties, and merlot that sounds expensive and tastes disgusting (I love red wine, so that's a high bar)? Is there a candy I can make here?

The candy runs out, and my head's back. Just kidding, it's Rainbow Starshine still just Boobsong's puppet! Why don't you try? There must be something! Come on, I bet it's sexy. The candy that controlled you just now was easy. Try more stuff! Can you make one that's all sexy and still does this?

Maybe if you flirt with me...was that right? Her voice is all warm and soft and playful in my mind's ear. It's gorgeous and makes me think of nuzzling my face around in her breasts. There see inspiration.

Well that puts a good face on it! Use your face in boobs to inspire candy! Ooh and feel your own boobs while I watch you, is what I'd do now. I'd put your hand up and say get going grabby.

Hehe that sounds fun. Especially if you all told me what to do and stuff. Ooh I've got one at the end here. Let me get my click out please. Okay candy...keep over-controlling it--oh fuck it little mirror candy with face in boobs sensations and seeing fun me in the mirror emotions and I feel myself blurt out a little shot of the sexy silky newness of being unbluized just now the other night--and who knows how it gets there this could even be like after my with Sex collaring but for me this time. I make the mirror on my tongue and add just a second of delay to it so I can get this next thing--even bullet time can't stop this!?--un-bullet-time to swallow and go right back--the candy tastes good, gummi soft and sweet but kind of mirror smoothly glassy--why didn't I make rainbow--oops, ticktock. Click, tell me your favorite sexy thing about Boobsong.

Oh I don't know, wow. I have to pick just one thing? Okay um, the way that she jumps me when I click her to glomp me. The way that her face looks all ferocious is so sweet and horny it just makes my bouncy soft boobs feel like they'll explode if I don't get them groped soon and then there she is hanging on with such abandon it feels like they'll pop from her squeezing! It's perfect. It makes me so horny my heart skips a beat just describing it.

I'm not candied yet but there's foreshadowing. I can see a wicker mirror like the one from the place with all the junk we found Candy my handmaiden in. As for Boobsong, I love that! Her cute little smile and snarl as she jumps are so great but I really like when she hits me that way if she jumps hard. BBFF smack it's like one really good smack of her pussy on my balls as I fuck her from behind except our whole bodies especially boobs, you know? Okay while I want for this candy, since we have to be turn-based and we're down a body, how do we doubleteam Boobsong this way? Oh the way her tail goes too is so great in that. Up so lashily like she caught us and it's time to pounce and get supper.

[!] EEEE this is fun! Maybe you just have to make a candy to give you two bodies and let you control them!

Why does it have to be all this extra control work? Maybe the one you're not using is the stupidest Fairy ever and just keeps doing what you told it until you command it.

That's good but I want to play this way! What if you make a dance where one step is your step and one step is my step and we go back and forth and even the steps are decided by our seed-ghost so each of our part is just how to step.

I almost don't dare to say this but why if our seed-ghost just made you take over every other step of our whole life to redirect me. Ooops I think here comes candy--

....and we're out on a surfboard, and Boobsong's around me like we just glomped, and we're just paddling in from a swell to the nice flat pretty sand. Is this somewhere in the Four Dreams?

Oh, are you still there, Rainbow?

Yup, and still happy to talk, too! As long as there's Boobsong you can just talk to me and I'll answer, says our seed-ghost.

You're starting to feel separate. Like really. That's kind of scary.

Better get whatever this is done, then! I bet it completely destroys whatever this heart-ice is. Then you'll feel different. I'll be much more like a mirror. To save yourself, be me--

Wait, that's not how that goes! You're supposed to protect her by being her but your Boobsong can't find those words now.

I'll drown if I don't figure out how to be that person fast. It's how I feel. That's probably fucking up everything.

Okay so, Siren-sense! We're...in a Dream about my despair and sense of worthlessness keeping me from waking up my playful lesbian side. Possibly with a side of Halo somehow.

So like what's going on here. I look up to see...Jabba's palace from Star Wars on the horizon, our beach is kind of like, actually just the desert--hup! As I think that, the surfboard runs around and any sense of the water vanishes. For real, my candy can do this stuff? I guess if it made Sex's key a little Inception is nothing. Daddy's a big star and I'm sure he spent some time on me but I still feel all impressive.

The sun is weird? Is seems darkish? There's no sun and the sky's dark blue but this is definitely great day for a night scene like they say on MST3K--oops, here's the guy that runs Jabba's like business-stuff, with the two-tentacles hair. Same species as the slave girl who gets eaten before he has Leia.

Can we bullet-time? Oh yes. Probably go full Neo since it's my dream but that might not be the point here. We'll see. After the satisfaction of blasting Eden's shipyard, I'm more than willing to get crabby if I don't like this. Might be the point.

For instance if this dream insults my dragon it's in big trouble, but the candy would know that.

Slave Leia's an interesting thing. I hate the way American stories (at least before my help) excuse themselves fanservice with like Good Reasons(tm) like this. Just put the sex in or don't, for penis snakes. The only bra Carrie Fischer wore through the whole trilogy was the one on the slave outfit anyway, like who are you kidding? If you want to have fanservice that makes sense in the setting, and isn't just random cheesecake, I mean like, do your research, you'll dig up all sorts of horny stuff in history, just to start with. Or just set it in the nineties, problem solved.

So when I see slave Leia out of context on the one hand it's like, sigh, here we are again with this annoying sex- and power-exchange-negative portrayal of feminine submission SIGH, but on the other hand, I mean now who's taking things too seriously, and isn't the point of Sade redeeming nightmares, and Star Wars is familiar like fries and coke like people saw Slave Leia when they were twelve and now she's their kink not because that did some kind of tramu but like, she's just what they imagine when they think slave girl which is a kink for them because humans are just kind of like that what with the gene pool not really having a vanilla end, so like, instruct them in Sadish redemption so they don't poison themselves thinking they're badguys, but leave them alone about the specifics, sheesh.

And then also like, it's a good thing I'm okay in lava and Hello My Name Is Anakin because I sure do not have the high ground on this one. I even get turned on by chains. The only real difference what this takes as sleazey we take as elegant. Boobsong's a gorgeous dragon, too. I could definitely see lazing around on a chain against her peacefully-heaving superchill flank.

Actually pretty sure I've done that lots, and it's been great.

She sits with a paw on me. It's really comfy but I'm not going anywhere. It makes me feel beautiful and Princessy (I'm always in tasty stuff because I'm getting eaten soon) and it's very relaxing. She munches me slowly, those times.

I also don't get the sleazy thing. Like, base, yeah, essential ingredient, cake won't rise without it. Raunchy is just base that's bouncing. Mercenery? I like whoring, just give me sexy clients. Naughty? I hang out with Malina, and my heartchild's a demon. Like I guess down to Earth or salt of the whatever. Always try the peasant food. I've only never fucked in a fast-food bathroom because we get away with the booth so easily. Ruthless dictator figure, like the mob lord thing? Hello? Maybe I don't need this if you forgot where I come from that fast. See how we're slicing sleazy down to this little small thing that's just "I'm a gross and bad person"? At least that's how it looks to me.

Any thoughts on this, dolly, before we go see where we headed?

This is a very weird start, yes. Your Boobsong thinks there's something suspicious about the fact there's no sun here.

I should just sit there and read you my every waking moment. That'd be the smart thing. I get it, there totally is, but I'm not really shining, but the last thing a desert needs is more sun.

Let's see what Jabba's guy wants. I break out of bullet-time, but not before making a couple of do-nothing nerds on my tongue to make sure I have candy.

So grapely obnoxious, perfect. Okay. If I just have my candy, everyone is still toast. I wonder what happens with a bread transformation, if you toast it? I suppose you get burned. Being crunchy sounds no fun.

"Greetings. Your beautiful silver companion would make good money at dancing at--"

An air horn disrupts what he's saying, and the whole dream changes. Cheerleaders and some kind of sports thing fly by--not with the cheerleaders? Going to some kind of green room oh with the mascots. There's a team whose mascot is dragons, except the huge black dragon costume is sitting with its face smashed up and again it's kind of suspiciously dark in here so everything's shadowy as people work on it.

"You have to help us--"

Fizzfrozen snapwaffles! Did the candy break!? No but their screen did. A fifty foot projection is glitching with broken-LCD lines like the projector is smashed, but where even is these--now we bounce of a hair salon--then whirling through stuff so fast I can't even see what it is except it's dark and shadowy because I've figured out that the scene changes as soon I understand how they want Boobsong and not me, and now that I know that it's just channel surfing.

So obviously the answer is get some light up and show how I shine but that's really hard somehow. What's weird is I was seeing places for me--well, up to the hair salon. Actually that's interesting. The first one was like not even easy: "You mean you're lookng for a live sex act which we are so you can stop being prissy and also I'm a dealer and you will not believe my stock". Then like, okay, I can fit, and it helps if you ask me: "You can have one doozy of a dragon mascot but she has to have a sexy Princess rider". Then what can I do at a hair salon but get in the way. I never even brushed my own hair until I was thirteen, and then I only did it because--I mean did I? Yeah I can't do it, I just tangle up everything. The rewrite taught me how to also tangle up everything but this time with years of practice.

Now it's just blurring and I can't get my light up and I'm feeling like I feel when I stare at a vision too long but it's about getting light up not being here which is fine this is all weird enough to have me curious.

Oh because I spent twenty years getting light up. People didn't believe Boobsong was as scary as I am, so if they were going to want only one, it'd be her.

That can't be right, can it? Princess Starlight, like I have top billing and stuff, and I'm so proud of Boobsong I can't stop putting her forward anyway.

I guess it's really just trying to sell people on me. Boobsong being the one they want just makes me feel alone which is where the pain is. It makes me want to flop. I could perform and be cutesy, get angry and zap stuff, make some candy to change stuff, hell, I could turn into Boobsong--hm. Is that the point here? I suppose we just did me-selfcest, have to play fair.

Okay but humph I want to be me, not Boobsong. That has to be important here.

Wait it's dark in all of these. They all want a star but they're asking for Boobsong who doesn't make her own light.

Oh but the Rainbow I want to be is Boobsong's version of me.

We're back to the desert, it seems even darker, Jabba's guy is still there--hey--we bounce off a stageshow of some kind of Christian hell but quite campy, and back to the channel-surfing.

I suppose because I'm objecting to there being a problem with my wanting to be Boobsong's version of me. Like that's Rainbow just sounds to me like who I am if I'm not all broken and not working right. The rewrite gave me enough experience being trans to know really well what that feels like, when you can't exist in the world as yourself, and even freedom to express doesn't fix it because you never learned to be you. To Boobsong's Rainbow doesn't sound like Boobsong, she sounds like someone who learned from Boobsong over twenty years of touring and shenanigans to internalize some of her heartchild's naughty fun and always-raunchy thoughts and just not being so serious.

Like expressing myself include choosing who to emulate.

Say something Rainbow to get back to a stable world, gets put in my head.

Well then I wanna go back to the beach! There were lots of bikini girls, I saw them, I'm sure of it. It changed so fast they didn't get through my head, but they were there.

The channel-surfing turns into a vision test, then a P-51 Mustang--nose art, this is like Bombshell looking at my Starlight Princess outfit. Can I see Rainbow here?

It's night now, but we're on the beach, yay! That makes me want to bounce--okay so bounce yay we got back to a nice beach! 

Who's here, what is this. Feels like Hawaii, there's palm trees and stuff at the edge of the sand up there. Tall hotel thing beyond them, no desert island here. On the beach lots of naked girls are having campfires--hey--

The scene changes and now there's lots of white silk. That could be fun, though, maybe they want to get bwaha tie-dyed! What is this--hey!

Back to the channel surfing. The channel surfing is so tiring! Let's play something fun, come on. And how was that not Rainbow!? Maybe I just need help with this.

Oh Keeper please, please pretty please all dripping with color-cum can't I feel your sweet hands in my head squeezing out that Rainbow you make for a while?

Seed-ghost decides that's yes.

EEEE this is awesome! I love to be held and squeezed out like this. Wait but the world's still all weird. That's not fair, this is Rainbow here, the person I want most to be! Yes as a puppet but so what that's just me on vacation! Stomp my foot in frustration! I'm the Rainbow I'm supposed to be, how come it's still making my head hurt with all these changes! This is just like today! As soon as we get something, BANG, suddenly changed! I could bite and spit this makes me so mad! LET ME HAVE SOME FUN SOMETIME!

Don't play fun: around your neck is your Keeper's collar. Give light up, go dark here.

OH! Wait, no more puppetting, boo. Okay well, which one then? Only beach I can't figure out. Jabba's palace? Time to open the Book of Boba Fett so they can a decent overlord. Sports show? It's going to be half-time alright! At Salon we could give some real makeovers, give people care they just can't refuse, heh. Is the beach just for the me who wants to kick sandcastles down? No, much too boring, could arrange us some real waves--ooh or go lava surfing.

All this channel surfing must be to try and catch my attention with a hook for something fun and twisted to do, where we can just go full psycho if we want playing with Dream-puppets, but that businesslike me is chafing--no it's more. I want to get back to Peanut and Olympic Pizza and everything. I want to get on with...this whole journey! It feels not-done!? But the cake! This is different though. I didn't say the cake meant my healing was done. It just meant no more awful stuff like having the Illuminati's destroy-Rainbow team mess with me all day.

Yeah that's right. The destroy-Rainbow team. It could have gone either way today. It went a way, alright, so that's the way it is in my head. I gave them the chance to define themselves and they slapped that label on so hard it woke me up from the nightmare they were weaving for me. Far be it from me to peel that off them, if they're that determined to be that.

But so sick of these long-ass bullet-time or paused or stuck in some thing or another things. It seems so sad to be doing more of these than living the awesome life that's out there for me but I have so much to repair. That calendar's Santa, I bet, but not the one I was remembering! That small thing had to go because of all my messed up memories. What else is there? Let's get through that, as fast as we can, so I can settle into what I'm doing instead having to spiral off into these side-things!

Trust my family...long list, family I could trust, just at Strawberry Home, to say nothing of Boobsong and my Sugarfreaks here. Isht Visht? During that car ride...she stuck up for us, like that one time. Stand up and fight. Walt at the Mechanical Heart. Tuchyuh in the bakery. We've had help this whole time, backup fighting the nightmares. Some we saw, some not till now.

I think the message is let them help me come back, instead of trying to prepare for them like we're doing here.

Candy has done its job, gets put in my head, and we're back to bullet time with Peanut here.

Peanut. Dom to Butter. Free will enough to do that but misses your holding. Locked right here by the scared thought that you'll just send her back to Green-Top without a hard hand inside her heart. Top side is wracked by guilt to forget you are her dom. Black is not her hair color. Choice of shoes but never gets clothes.

Butter. Peanut's sub. Puppet most times. Hard to get holding. Will beg soon if you don't give it.

--and her bell works like my bell but it's free will. She turns into pages without it.

As soon as I think what's going on with them my tentacles are there with it. Normally they act like Berryblossom and act as soon as what to do is clear. This is part of how they help me. As for Butter, I can read them like my statues today, or my tentacles can. Okay rest of Butter's...

Bell being on is tentacles' decision after Earth came here so she could remember that game. Now she has. Her life from the rewrite world erased is a relief. She had a hard time there. Her family's gone.

Travelling here was your tentacles way of telling them you're here. No other Sugarfreaks know.

Their dynamic has a small hill to climb over because Butter is so hard for your holding. Give them a push with some sexy candy. Holding their hand is a good start.

The show is in six hours, enough time for that if you don't take too long with pizza. Earth doesn't have timelike existence except in relation to Rl'yeh Sade beyond the Oort cloud.

Everything I need to know, right there. As it described how they were doing I felt so overwhelmed motherly Keeper-instincts telling me to take care of them so hard it felt like the weight of it would put me out, but now I know just what to do--but my tentacles told me each new thing after Butter's info in response to the thoughts and ideas I was having, not as a prepackaged mission. It's a little scary. Should I think of these as part of me after all? Or me as them? Are Fairy Keepers just a Fairy inside a machine like this? I wouldn't be enough, then. But if you copied the Fairy...that thought makes me throw up. It's awful, and yet I like my fans to pretend they're me. I guess it's because they won't be. They'll still be my fans cosplaying and it's touching in a way I need bad think someone could look up to me that much. Anyway selfcest is apparently a kink I have, and that's a good way to get it. Which is a great time at stage shows. Which encourages more cosplay...there's a very nice circle, but something keeps telling me to keep thinking about this...it tells me the way to something...puppetry--I can make them my puppets! I knew there was something! Make an image of me, and I can control it. That's an encouragement, not a punishment! Make sexy dolls or dress yourself up and you never know, that might be Rainbow, watching and feeling everything that the doll does. Of course if you're the doll...hehe. Lucy was hoping Rainbow would possess her real bad, that was her character. But Lucy Rainbow wants the unique twist, she wants your touch! My touch is to be the most perfectly Rainbow cosplayer there is, she would say, missing the point in a cute way. It was fun to be that dumb. Lucy was even more of an airhead than I am.

Needless to say this is awesome at stage shows. Especially if the person up there on the stage with the little doll in her arms who you can't see so good because she's up there is a fan and we're Disguised out in the crowd...until we're not, heh. Our seed-ghost could make it seem like we were just kind of stoned and not looking at anything in the real world. Drugs are okay, mmmbad.

Dolly can you make our...you can I remember! Ooooh that fucked with heads. Her disguise can also take someone who looks similar and make it seem like they are me. We can also both make holograms but when you keep eyes on someone the whole way and get there and it's not us, it really enhances that thinking you're losing your mind that you thought that I am me when later we have to use that side. That's why I seem to remember turning Disguise on with people standing there watching us and getting away free.

It's a weapon, as sure as the Erosion Nightmare Beam is, meant to defend us in the enemy territory of Strawberry Home with the traitor court there, but it can be used peacefully, like we will, now. We don't have to erode people's sanity, just make them have fun times trying to tell if we're back yet.

Hey wait a minute, you said the show is all done up by the Illuminati, tentacles, but if there are no more, how can it be?

There is a thought here that expanding your horizons is better than familiarity.

The Illuminati did so much good stuff. I remembered them fondly the first time, not with forced affection and flashbacks like the destroy-Rainbow team. I gave them a new task? Oh that punishment that keeps coming in the back of my head, I did it already! They could help fix the culture, in their old ways, about the idea of darkness, and how my "dark side" is a part of me I go out without--it's very Sade, all those robes and candles and secret bases and prophecy this and monolith that--or leave the Illuminati and their old life behind, but if you were that person who did that enough to stay, you had to clean up now.

There was always an out, you could always walk away. I never could so that's important to me.

So I made them get into that and keep doing the good work. America was used to them. It would have been weird to have it without a shadowy conspiracy pulling the strings from behind the curtain. Malina was there to babysit and make sure they were fun. She's a very good influence for those guys. Anyway, what's the point of being Illuminati if you're not summoning a demon at least every Sunday?

Okay then they'll have to be clever to figure out what to do with the stage show. I know they were up to it--fuxtastic time travel yay.

As for me there there's the mistake of trying to reach Arthur from within his worldview instead of destroying it and helping pick up the pieces. Look at the damage that did, it created the whole thinking I'm Jesus thing I bet. I had the worst time with that when the destroy-Rainbow team was there by a long way. I bet the crack would have even stayed open longer if I'd done that. I need to learn that lesson. I regret that I used that trick with my handmaidens, deeply. What the hell was the matter with me. The Dreams should have stopped me or something. I'll have to apologize next time I see them.

How the fuck is this like the ending of Aliens? Oh because I did what it took to save my kids and it was a hard fight so I had to play dirty. I'm their Mommy like Ripley with Newt. There really wasn't a good way? I think that's supposed to be the prophecy is the good way.

Bleah. This should be better.

Okay but now prickly anger is in the way of talking to Peanut. I look for a push because I can't seem to see why I feel this. I want to break stuff but blasting more Eden junk to pixels isn't the way here.

Oh it's people comparing su'khora and especially Boobsong to the Xenomorphs from Alien. Racism has no limit in America, and I'm still mad. The movie is fine, it's the use of the symbols that gets me. Is there something to do here? We must have controlled that. I'm probably just being a pissed off Grandmother. The only thing left is our side of that story.

It was really obnoxious, though. Made me sick of seeing Alien stuff. Even the aesthetic of old scratched-up ships can be bad. Maybe with all the right-wingers in their own place that can heal, now.

It feels like the anger's just a missing piece of basket. I was mad at this and that's a part of me. Now it's back, and the anger is cooling already.

The Dreams are still bugging me to keep looking, but I feel so disgusted I can't look. Why would I anyway? They're giving me all of this stuff about queens and such. Like what, Eden inspired James Cameron to insult me? Sure I bet so, but who cares, that's one drop in an ocean. Same with Boobsong and Xenos. If we have to go through all of these we'll be here forever! It's even still pressing as I go to ask Boobsong how she feels. Light side and dark side I get it, so what? HR Giger's art looks like Rl'yeh Sade through the same twisted glasses Lovecraft had--no, that's not true. His art was taken as dark and disturbing and it usually was but it had dark beauty to it, he wasn't just making horror stills. Often what people called disturbing was just a whole lot of cocks. On the other hand the stuff he did for alien was horrifying. Which is it? I don't care. An artist with unknown intentions got used in a bad way to make a certain aesthetic seem bad in the same racist way the badguys seem gay in so much American media, and a bunch of real bigots took that and ran with it. This one hit close to home and it hurt, bad, but I already said that. Boobsong was about to, and she's the wounded party more than I am, I'm just a Chyajjoh whose children got messed with. I can happily stoke up this fire if there's something to kill but otherwise, huh?

Prophecy something yadda yadda. No doubt the Illuminati did it or helped but I don't seem to think so. Everything my Siren-sense finds is just stuff I already know but the Dreams keep on bugging obnoxiously.

The only thing I can think is it got sexy black stuff into the culture when it couldn't have been so I should see it more nuancedly--oh I see. That's what I should have done with my handmaidens. Boo I'm the devil you're damned so let's go fuck. My handmaidens would have woken up as soon as they got here because that was what I said to so many Christians, wasn't it? Your abusive dad hates me? Tell me honestly...doesn't that make me so hot?

I think someone's erased here maybe but I just can't do one more helldive, not even the small one of slogging through the revolting shit of racist, bigoted trash like this or the Bible (people sometimes would tell me saying stuff like that's antisemitic because of the Old Testament, but copypasta-ing someone else's sacred text doesn't give them your sins anymore than making a picture of Hitler out of a mosaic of Mickey Mouse stills makes Walt a Nazi. If you ask me, the argument is what's antisemitic, because it's trying to ride Christianity's privilege on the coattails of the Jewish people's suffering to defend it).

The Dreams keep on pushing, so I get off my Siren pedestal, because now we're fighting, this isn't me to keep looking here.

The Illuminati were terrible with that I think. Convinced there was some special good stuff in the Bible, that it was other than Eden's blog. Used the antisemetism argument which is why I think of it now.

The Dreams show me theatre seats and a prayer shawl, a Jewish deli, a pizza cutter, an old-fashioned phone ringer, the drive gear from an RC car, [Io from Matrix Resurrections], a TV test pattern, a gross Dark Crystal Skeksis, an egg in a nest, Judge Dredd, [Plowstar].

Okay the Jewish Deli shows up in some show, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, that's it, so the first part is about a Jewish(?) performer who's "bad" in her religion though maybe just as an example. In that case the next part is a complicated way of describing me with stuff I like, up to Io, which is making peace with a former enemy you wake up to find out have become friends with your allies while you were lost in nightmares, a test with the Skeksis thing (we came out of an egg aboard their ship)--weird, no, okay oof, Starlight Princess is off air and I guess like, I'm judging America harshly (Judge Dredd and Plowstar).

More visions. Shell casings covering a floor with my heart sign shining above like, behind my head weirdly, bleachers half full of generic fans like a football game, a Ouija board, Boobsong's no-Jesusifying collar.

I'm looking only at the war so I don't see half my fans. I should contact them. Reminder I have Boobsong's collar and the being so done with that kind of thing it represents.

Sade's balls this is too long without Boobsong's input, but if I don't say first how much sense this doesn't make, I'll be distracted. Like, I can't put it together? The Dreams are implying I had Christian fans. If so, let those bleachers stay empty. I don't want them any more than Mrs. Maisel there would want Nazi fans. Like the comparison doesn't work. Christianity's not a country I was at war with that could change its mind and make peace with me. It's an extension of Eden. If I had Christian fans, they...were no longer Christian, because the medicine the Heart Church handed out did its job. Maybe they kept all their culture? Matrix Resurrections doesn't un-Giger the machine friends and it comes off pretty metal, with friendly botswarms and stuff. Like if they really want, okay, but I don't think I have to be told that when I already said to forget this. What do you make of this, dolly?

Your Boobsong is very confused here. If they dropped their believing in Jesus then why does this matter. You like stained glass! If they believe in the spirit of Aveh being your mind like Christians they should come get your Boobsong's collar to cut them before Aveh destroys them! If they think your brother is Jesus they're confused but that's not our problem to correct them. Whatever you take with this, it seems like there's no point, but they're acting like if you ignore this you'll be on trial--that's Judge Dredd, yes.

It's right to give this the finger. This is bullshit, we want our phone call.

Wise dolly as always. Holy shit, that thing's real, is sure what I'll have to say if there's some kind of Christian Starlight Princess fanclub out there.

I know my rights. One of which is to my feelings about the religion that insulted my whole family for thousands of years, and caused so much destruction. Like sure fine there were good Christians who were decent people in spite of everything their religion told them, just like there was a whole generation of nobles in the Strawberry Empire who were traitors and child abusers in spite of everything their religion told them. The people aren't the same thing as the system. Good people can be trapped in an evil system with no escape. It's hard to decide when gears have a responsibility for how they turn. I try not to judge unless I have detailed information. Destroy the system, if it's so bad, and then see how people act and what kind of help they need if any.

The Dreams show me the Erosion Nightmare Beam. Go dark...to free them the sentence completes itself. That had better not be Siren-sense, dreams, I'm still mad.

I mean that's what Neo does in the Matrix. It's implied his encounter with Agents is part of why he joins the resistance instead of keeping his head down. When did I ever keep my head down? I don't think I am now, either. Agent Smith is like "what good's a phone call if you're unable to speak" and Neo just gets mad once he's out of there.

It can't be the opposite, because I know we have plenty of grave-dancing to do once we get on the road.

The Dreams show me the Erosion Nightmare Beam again, then Boobsong in hammerform, then a squirrel.

We have fans of our darkside...oh smash nuts, that whole thing. Okay but why. This just feels like a big bag of pieces. If some of that grave dancing really brings the house down, yay? Fun catharsis? Not something to talk about this way?

The Windfish egg from Windwaker.

A world that disappears when you wake up the dreamer. Except it's a good world except all the monsters. Except link is trapped there.

That doesn't apply, Earth is right here. Fake Earths that are only fake because this is the real one due to historical accident that are like, without me, are here. If fans are in there...why? Spike them out, now, at best they'll be screwing up the Pleasantville illusion.

Need me some Boobsong. Dolly?

RRRR! Why's this keep going!? Your Boobsong can't see this, she's just sick of hearing the same thing. Always they go back to the Jesus thing through a new way to get there.

Maybe it's because you're so scary. Like back to the Aliens thing. Soo...I wasn't avoiding showing off all your cool stuff in my head at least. I was going to show video of blasting Eden's shipyard and make that gravel onstage tomorrow. Or something. Meh? Like the Dreams can't be taking us back there. It has to be something else but I don't see it either.

Eggbeaters, and then Jupiter but the middle band says Rainbow in my black mirror font.

Wait a minute, did make a red dwarf out of Jupiter? I would, if the black hole thing didn't make the difference. Anyway the Sun must have been lonely with no other normal stars there to talk to. Maybe that is its heartchild.

But the eggbeaters go back to the stuff before about Alien and the Illuminati. Jupiter can mean faith. Like...if people want cute me, they'll get her, but that's for the tour. If a town's just adorable bunnykin, and my tentacles tell me they want cute stuff, fine, sure, we'll just be cute. No exploding balls or taking the Sledge-o-Matic where it was always going.

I'm pretty sure I did do Jupiter because I remember leading it in its orbit as I aimed Acme Station here--we didn't go there, just blast it with a mass-pump remotely--and think the memory is wrong before I remember lightspeed and the speed of its orbit would make a difference in where I aim.

That was a good one, for people who could understand it. Ten Jupiter masses worth of light and the tech to control it at five AU distance so Jupiter directly became a red dwarf instead of going through the first phases of shell-life (the star is the person inside it, which for Jupiter there wasn't, until the sun implanted) (six AU is very intimate for stars to have their shells, and orbit for a mass difference that huge is a collar).

Maybe that was the person I'm missing. If they're up when we go out we should say hi.

Of course it won't be that simple. The Dreams show a mirror, and then an A-10, and then the new outfit Boobsong will make me, and a monolith, and like kid stuff, a merry-go-round and a kid in a beanie.

So this is another side of me like Sparkledust showed me a side of me, but it's a side for kids.

That makes me feel heart-healing that cuts my head off. Like it's all in a line across my chest above my boobs and it burns more than feels good. If I have kid fans, especially on this tour, they'll have to wait for Unveiling. I'm a lust goddess. I always was. In the nightmare stuff there was a big poofy dress and a kids' show version of Starlight Princess, but that's because I wasn't ready deal with Strawberry norms about sexual development. I made it up to protect myself.

Or did somebody else make all that to control me, like the destroy-Rainbow team? If so, blam, but why care now?

A Burger King paper crown and the monolith. If the prophecy said something about me doing kid stuff, it was talking about another Rainbow Starshine!

I just feel angry and choked thinking of that dress now. There were kid me and Boobsong, in the nightmare stuff, but they turned out to be fakes, too.

It's telling how this is just wandering. Sloshing around from one thing to another like there's no actual point here. If you have a point get to it, Dreams.

Again with the mirror and A-10, then like a hot water bottle I had in the rewrite that was a sheep to be snuggly, like, you put the hot water bottle inside it.

So I have both a dark side and a snuggle side. I...know? I was just ranting about bringing those together? What am I missing there?

A grocery store in Berkeley that only sold produce. Super nice by the context but not to my eyes but California in the rewrite to me was like those barbarians who mistook filling a war hall with dirt floors with treasure for progress. Expensive and fine had no connection there--you just couldn't get fine, so people just put random stuff in its place and charged a lot for it and that was how to be Rich. I don't mean you couldn't get the right pretentious wineries, like I mean only Ford and no BMW. Metaphorically speaking. No actual quality. At least not for food. The produce was trash, if you'd been to the east coast.

I don't know if that's how to take that. If you're a Californian back-to-the-Earther I'm the antichrist even more than to Christians. In my memories that grocery store enraged me, and I couldn't get why. Now it seems obvious. It was more about the religious act of rejecting the tech that made that desert livable except for the very small parts the rich lived in, than the food you could get there.

Oh is that what the cake is. Let them eat cake? We sure did solve that problem! We let them all eat cake, and my cake is nourishing! You don't have to eat real food unless that's a good time for you. I get all horny if I don't make candy so I'm sure Starlight Princess Bakeries is a thing so I can get my mass production on. Meh? When it's time let's go? If they really want sandwiches fine? That's not much of a wham line after making that fuel additive.

Enough time for Boobsong. Any more thoughts, dolly?

The Dreams squidge a flash of the overlord guy from Wizards in as I go to read her.

Mommy your cake has the same problem as Heart Home. It's erotic and scary and that's not for kids.

Okay but, didn't we journey to Heart Home as kids? There's a kid side--

The Dreams show me a Mario hat, and that grocery store again, [ how it feels to make stuff with my machine instincts ], and a mirror.

Shigeru loves kids, that might have got to me. I could make perfectly fine kid candy, couldn't I? So this is to show me that.

That leaves out the grocery store but it just makes me angry.

They show me Scorpion's spear from Mortal Kombat.

That would have something to do with whether stuff is kid-suitable or like has to be because of the medium (which I dropped Starlight Princess on, to fuck up those schemas, though that wasn't the main point), but it feels like a candy whose intention has nothing to do with me. Nothing like, gels.

More importantly there'd be no reason to show me this now, if it's about kid stuff, after I said fine let's just let my Fairies here help me remember the next part instead of trying to remember everything in this one bullet time, like instead of just as we rode into the first town that was requesting a kids' show.

 [!] If the Dreams have this big plan here, why did they stop you from talking to Peanut?

Yeah good question.

That hot water bottle again, and the Magic School bus, [ Fifties TV Shows ].

I wasn't scared or upset and now I'm mad so I don't think the comfort is me here, but...after trying the other end of my tentacles, and the way it talks to me, and hearing the Rainbow Boobsong paints with me, like, I was going to go full comforting Mommy with every bit of that comforting syrupy goodness my tentacles showed me when we came out of bullet time, and yeah, then take my whole class on an epic field trip to get back to some traditional family values.

But none of this helps that. That isn't new.

The Dreams show me a Heartwarming tree with a big yellow star on top, like my elevator door has.

Do you make anything of that, dolly? More pieces that don't connect, that I see.

This is like a box of parts that don't go to the same thing. If this is so scrambled, why are they doing it so you can't hear their message?

I suppose this is about different audiences who could or couldn't understand us, but my response to that is to say "tough luck, it was to open the worldgate" so fast even I wonder if I suddenly like time travel. We extended ourselves out of expressing our true selves for the sake of the planet. No more. If people can't hear me when I'm my real self, they were never fans, just there for our common goal. If the point here is to say thank you to them for their help, okay, tell me how then because I don't understand this, but otherwise, the Windfish just woke up, yeah.

[!] Mommy do you see how it's Malin? In the vision the Dreams just showed of the ending of Wind Waker? Maybe this is that you're gone, and they're calling the ghost that you were then, and we need to correct them?

The Dreams show me a window shade-pull as I think the next question, which is why now.

The shades are closed in front. When did that happen? I thought they were open when we got here, but I got so distracted with all this stuff. The Dreams could spike the shades closed no problem, heh. Because there are people outside expecting a different Starlight Princess than the one here. Candy and kid stuff. Or real dark and scary? No I've got that side.

Anyway the point of all this is for all of those people calling the ghost-me, they just couldn't see the real me, like the messages just didn't mean anything.

If we actually did this stuff, but we must, we were ruthless.

Having a kid side feels weird, even as a marketing thing. Sugarfeast is a day, not the whole wheel...I don't know. I can see the arugment I guess. Kids still need the new-stuff side of Sugarfeast. It just makes me so tired to even imagine having to keep being someone I'm not for their sake. I'm mother of millions of su'khora. Not one human kid. I'm not for them.

A reindeer, is the Dreams' answer to that.

So like Santa or something. Except there is no such person. That's just a ghost we made up to open the worldgate. Do I have to like hand off being the Sugarfeast Fairy, is that what this is? Because I'm not going back there. I'm too tired. It made me feel like a good person but it's not me. That tour is for grownups and that's what I'm doing now.

Easter bunny ears.

This stuff puts me out, Dreams. I feel so low now.

The Dreams show me all different holiday stuff (though most of it's Easter-ish), but it ends with a Disney-animated drinking-horn splashing out a ton of water.

Oh for shit's sake, what kind of nightmare is waiting for me out there. Maybe we should just have our pizza and fuck off to Heart Home and forget this touring thing.

(for context, Reader, the drinking horn is from a story about the Labors of Thor, which is kind of like the Labors of Hercules except he fails them all because he doesn't know how ridiculously insane they are, except does scarily well. The drinking horn is that he gets challenged to chug a horn of mead, except the horn is a portal to the ocean, and he lower the sea level a couple of feet. So I'm thinking I somehow got roped in to presenting myself as everything from the Easter Bunny to Jesus to, somehow, Thor, to get all the people who couldn't understand my real message--I'm not translatable in the way this implies, so it's real and fake messages. The Dreams bringing up Thor so heh anviliciously shows how tenuous the connections are, like, I guess my machine thing and my bad temper? I barely see it)

[!] There's a really different approach there. What if it means you don't realize how much you did and you think it's so tiring to have been those things because it's really exhausting like you drank half the sea of course you can't drink some more now?

The Dreams show a picture of a cool art installation I saw once. It was one of those surrealist things with the ocean wave and columns inside in a room with a tiled floor--huh. Anyway in the picture the waves are made of broken glass. They show this while I read her about the drinking the sea thing.

So add broken glass to her metaphor--but I can't help noticing the floor is like Strawberry Home's, black and white tiles, like for Armybites. To remind us not to take things too seriously, and also make us look at a game of Armybites played with real people, every day as we walked through the castle.

To me this stuff was like a sea of broken glass to drown the fun game. That I had to drink.

The Dreams show a pressure washer. 

Clean off the sidewalk. That's a harsh metaphor but very stuck dirt needs a heavy hand. But I don't want to make a big--oh but we were probably kind of obvious dropping from orbit in six hours. May as well, then.

I don't know what I think here. Were these enemies we could trick onto our side, or was there just no way to reach them?

The Dreams show my human dad's parents' apartment, in the rewrite. Old people and those who just, I don't know. It's beyond my understanding. If there was no way to reach them then, there won't be now. I don't want to be mean to them but I can't keep on with that, yeah.

The only thing that doesn't feel awful is to go out there and make like a good old fashioned goddess appearance but do some epic transformations or something to just make them deal with it.

Mario hat, the Dreams say, and then a rainbow that only has Mario's colors.

So what do we do here, there needs to be a kid me like there's a Death of Rats in the Discworld? That partial Rainbow? Oh a pressure washer can also clean off like a mural. Different approach again and more Dreamslike, that feels less mean.

Upside down (literal) cocksleeve, say the Dreams.

I thiiiiiink in the context that means presenting myself as not a cocksleeve? Representing me without Boobsong would have been instasmiting if you tried to make anything devotional out of it, so unless people have gotten real busy in the past few hour it won't be that.

The Dreams show that flood of broken glass again, then a literal cocksleeve.

So this is some kind of repeat of Jenner, or it tried to be. Even to open the worldgate I would never go there, so what the hell--

Some state, is that Delaware? Or an East Asian country I can't name. Washington DC. Delaware, then.

Incredibly that means something because Delaware is where most corporations legally are because their laws favor it. Boobsong was corporeal already on Earth no problem (until the reset), so it won't be that meaning. Some kind of organization, corporation etc. So a fan club that's only of me and not Boobsong, then? By which you mean the next use for the Erosion Nightmare Beam? There's no way my tentacles would have let such a thing exist, so what the hell?

People in fifties clothes. Trashcan. Pie.

Yeah, anyone who wants to have me without Boobsong is trash alright. To ignore the most basic thing about me is just insulting, to say nothing of how it is to Boobsong. The pie could be American Pie, like, the pie that got used as cocksleeve in that movie. Uptight people trashing Boobsong. So we have some smiting to bring? What's going on here?

Ship, squeegee, silvery Sadish statues, but the Dreams hit me with a huge dose of their "RED ALERT IGNORED VISION IT'S LIFE AND DEATH" yuckiness before I can actually see or ignore anything.

Ambiguity. Our 'ship will clear the view of Sadishness? A ship of people trying to squeegee Boobsong off of Sugarfeast? Is it my view that needs cleaning?

The Dreams show an old church I saw once, where Puritan Reformers painted whitewash with Bible verses on it over frescoes of Jesus and saints. Looks like it's time to get smity after all, Acme Station.

Oooh, did daddy cause the Reformation? I love the idea that he got mind-controlled to cause a certain amount of war, and then did it by making Eden's pet religion fight itself. (What, there's two side that despise each other, that wasn't what you wanted? Oops, now there's like fifty. I guess that worked! Oh relax, that house divided thing is overrated)

Before I can get Boobsong's response, the Dreams show me a Halo ring from the inside.

So they think we should one-shot this flood of bullshit with a nice big Acme Station strike from orbit, and cover the whole world. We can do that right here, and I have some thoughts. Do we have our Acme Station special case, seed-ghost?

Acme Station is on for this one destruction tour.

The Dreams show me a loom.

Weaving...weave together the stuff we saw. Anti-technology (that grocery store). Anti-sexuality (the no-cocksleeve thing; A-sexual people never seem to feel the need to desexualize me), anti-Boobsong (also the no-cocksleeve thing), anti-violence (the A-10), syncretism with stuff I'm not (I wasn't wrong about the drinking horn, Boobsong just saw the useful meaning while I saw the one I'm hurt by), this tour will not be for kids, there will be demons and chainsaws and you just have to deal with that (or, as always, walk away), and devotional imagery that insults us in one of these ways is under my wrath now and if the Dreams haven't spiked you creating it with that intention, Acme Station and I are going to. I bet she's going something nice and scary for fine work, just like she does for the big stuff.

I get back on my Siren pedestal halfway through that because it seems like we know what this is now and I see why it's now. I want to get this over with. I can't decide if this is a break of the cake promise. I'm really upset by it. I guess the difference is now that we know I could decide to ignore this, at least in theory. We needed to know, yeah. It could have been an ugly shock if not dealt with.

There's precision on "devotional imagery", like, expressing opinion isn't it, and neither is just making art (but be very careful, because most art is actually devotional, when the artist's intention isn't set against that) and even making a dreamskin to get yourself a Rainbow su'khora is fine--but if you get that far you know why you get that special case.

[!] Your dragon would like to go to the big ones in person. Just one or two to destroy them with claws and her tail.

Yeah--what will we find when we get there? If Thor exists we he have already beat some sense into his accidental followers? I seem to remember not liking pagan gods, but that might just be all the ones I met that were just Eden pretending to be them.

This was eating glass to me, but the last thing I want is to visit that Laarhi thing we went through on anyone, even if they were too stupid to live in how they missaw us.

Heartwarming stuff, a trowel, a bottle of the kind of glow fuel I used, with castor oil.

Then make someone else, Dreams. Give them their Easter bunny for the kids' sake. I can't eat anymore glass.

But...they want the real me, but there is no real me they can see. If there was they would have.

The Dreams show me a blue and orange present that opens into...like a place setting at a table? Oh it's eucharist. 

And AGAIN we're back to the Jesus stuff. Blue and orange morality, like alien eucharist. I don't know what that means though. Like a monopoly on the sacred food thing...no. If your mind is so damaged you can only find me through Jesus, you need way stronger medicine than I have. You're no more ready for me than those little kids I pretended to be appropriate for to get the worldgate open. Come back when you're a person instead of a ghost. I mean no insult there. I've been a ghost most of this week. But I couldn't see me that way, or a lot of stuff would have been so much easier. Same will be true for these people.

Why do I have to keep going over different forms of that, Dreams? Do I misunderstand you and it's not what you're saying?

The blue and orange package is a happy meal...the Illuminati had some kind of plan here, I guess to have standard American fare become my sacred food or whatever--

Why...would I want Arthur's biggest misunderstanding? The whole eucharist idea is so messed up can't see it. Like, it could be so close, right, you would think, but the two things are opposite. Eucharist is a sharing in death. Body broken for you. My candy's just my light pouring out from worship because I'll go out otherwise. I guess you could call that a sharing in life--I'm supposed to remember something.

I remember the pain and rage that the Illuminati built a whole country around the biggeest insult to my family that ever existed. I remember they took stuff that could have been fun for me and dipped it in human blood and said that should improve it. I remember the hard work of constantly fighting to extract the good of what they made from the cesspool of Christianity they inexplicably drowned it in. I remember how like eating glass it felt that I couldn't just erase all that and start over.

I remember telling them the chosen video games from the prophecy had to come from Japan because they'd so poisoned America with Christianty it'd destroyed a generation of artists. I blamed them for the crash in the eighties because they pushed the industry without understanding it.

[!] Mommy that didn't happen. You remember the wrong thing. Try again with the candy and eucharist.

...oh, that's the pain. They thought I was going to turn all that stuff into eucharist, like make a form of Christianity that would reach everyone. They above anyone were convinced I was Jesus. I was furious. Eucharist is the height of Eden's project to merge everyone into one creature. It's the Borg. Make everyone eat of the savior so they become one thing. It's there in the Bible. That's not usually how eating works but the messed up dream logic of it is supposed to, don't ask me how. That idea insults me. My candy gives individuation and finds you, because it's my self expression--of half an idea. It's inspiration, a prompt, a blank page with a sexy picture at the top. Conversation is a great way to expand your ideas and come up with new ones neither of you thought of. That's what my candy is.

Wait I remember. Eucharist is the body of Jesus, but he's unkillable, so when you eat it, you become him, bit by bit, until there's nothing of you left. His cells get destroyed and then come back to life when they're your cells. Yes that's not literal, but it's the idea that counts here. What is this religion saying.

To my eyes their obessession with that all, to the point of creating the destroy-Rainbow team, tainted everything they did for whoever this other person they thought existed was--not for me, if it had all this Jesus stuff in it! I would give them one Jesus quote, I said: I never knew you.

Now the Dreams are harassing me to accept their poison gift. No thanks. Fix it? Looks like we're glassing this place after all, Acme Station, what have you got that's real final?

Don't I want to preserve all the good things, the Dreams want to know. What good things? You keep dragging me back to this Jesus thing. There's no Earth for me as long as you do that. Again, and I just vaporize it. What is it you thought you'd accomplish?

A last chance to look back on stuff I think. Earth and it's trinkets. And A-10s--oh I think this is supposed to be a last chance for all the people as stuck in the Illuminati's delusions as the destroy-Rainbow team? A last chance to complete our work with the monoliths, but it requires accepting this Jesus thing. If I don't want to be made into Jesus, I should pass on the search for the monoliths to someone who thought I was Jesus or something like that, or who thinks they are, because that's where the last monoliths are.

Or like, be the antichrist? That's a little better, I guess? I don't know. For me, there's no Happily Ever After unless the wall between me and Christianity is as tall as the one between me and Laarhi. If all of this stuff, was a plan the Illuminati did by following a map they thought they found in the Bible, it's disgusting and has no value to me--or anyone else. It was a booster rocket we used to open the worldgate made out of the landmines and barbed wire we found in the warzone that entrapped us, and was no more beautiful or worth saving. Let it burn, and then burn up.

Disposability, after all, is the hallmark, heh, of American culture. Let it all burn. We have paradise now. We don't need all this tainted trash. If that's what this is. If the Dreams truly cannot let up about this Jesus thing. If I have to come back and back and back and back and back to it through one different way after another, let it burn.

I've already said no so many different ways. The only way I can get you to listen after this, Dreams, is with the stuff Boobsong didn't show me at Eden's shipyard because it would have ended our fun too fast. Think you've got something that can overcome the spiking they'll try to use to save this place, Acme Station?

Mommy that's so dark, your Boobsong is almost afraid to answer that question.

Do I have something wrong? The message I'm getting is as long as there is Earth, they'll keep pushing about this Jesus thing. The only way to be free is if the whole thing is gone for good.

Not Sirening, since we're about to be at war.

The Dreams show me a film canister high up.

Like, shelve the visions for a second. Huh?

[!] Princess come back from this nightmare. The Dreams wouldn't tell you this bad stuff.

Dolly I'm trying but it's just been so insane. We start getting somewhere and we're about to take action of some kind at they just whip back around to it. I mean seriously? Happy meal eucharist? Out of nowhere that way? Why not just spit in my face and save some trouble! We already covered the people thinking I'm the Easter Bunny and Thor, I got that those're examples, so this would just be one more instead of the clever way of including this in that without hurting me by bringing it up, if it's not going to be the way I am seeing it. Do you see something else in all this insanity? Like the why they want me to be Jesus so much?

Yes.

Mommy they're holding you on this because at the core of this there's the beauty--

There's no beauty in any of this. Barbed wire, land mines, you heard me before.

Mommy your heart hurt is exploding so you can't see the real world. The Dreams have been telling you gently to accept that this was the best way to have got here.

I don't understand what that has to do with showing me how much we seemingly meant to Earth and then ripping it away again by saying it's all poisoned with Jesus says that. Like why say that happy mean thing. I still can't begin to see that. That's just being insulting.

For a long time there was only the hope that a savior would come soon. Then you fulfilled it. Their hope helped open the worldgate. Past abuses are done now. Give a loving hand of correction to the children who hoped but could not open their eyes yet.

So eat one more mouthful of glass for them.

(I can see what the plan would be if I did this as myself, but myself is the last thing that gets to fly here, some blind dumbass always gets to be the one who's allowed to step on my face because they "can't" open their eyes)

Your seed-ghost is holding this open until you see a fix.

[ Vision: ring of fire ]

Try a verson of Halo.

Because of that stupid Great Journey thing. If the covenant had got what they wanted they would have just destroyed all sentient life in the galaxy. What's with this guessing game? If have to do something just tell me.

After too long as the sparkplug you now leave the engine. Helping these lost ones will not be the same here.

Okay now I truly don't understand. I can't help these people. You just said they couldn't open their eyes. In thirty years they couldn't see the very most simple basic facts about me and Boobsong. Even if I could bring myself to give them another bucket of blood, it wouldn't do anything. The mercy they get is that I have enough compassion to not conflation-jump to them all right now and tell them how much I hate them. There's nothing else left in me. They can figure it out now. They aren't children. They're obstinate, pig-headed stupid grownups who made an active choice to close their eyes to me. It's on them now. They can find me on this tour and wish they hand't, or just forget us. I was going to be creative but fuck it, let's just vaporize every sacriligious image and be done with it.

In paradise everythihng is different. Their eyes will open. Laarhi's eyes are not burned. Neither will theirs be.

I'll believe it when I see it. I'm not lifting one single finger for this. I don't know how to implement this but here's what want.

First, erase every holy place that does one of those sacrileges. Like that aparment that museum keeper was telling ghost stories about. Make it all spooky, but don't be cruel. No explanation though. want to make them into horror movies--no. I know. They becomes Nexuses. If you haven't seen the real me, you see spookily empty like that apartment. Kids just get like a roomful of candy and my voice says nice things. If you have seen the real me, you see the nightmares I was thinking of. If you made me asexual, my boobs and hips are cut off to fit me into a kid-form and they bleed forever and the room is filled with my screaming and the backdrop is Boobsong's Dead Boobsong sculpture. If you put clothes on me they're cotton and I'm having a really horrifying seizure and Boobsong is panicking and trying to tear my clothes off before I die. If you took away Boobsong you see me suicided in the way the people who usually visit that place would find most horrifying, and after you leave you hear Boobsong screaming for me and begging to be let out of her box until it gets spiked off you, but it comes and goes so it fucks with you head if you're just wracked with guilt over what you saw. If you combined me with some other divine figure you see us horrifically transporter-accidented together and twitching. If any of those guys exist get their input how to make it worse for theirs. Get the idea? Can we get this far somehow?

Keeper will tell you if it cannot work.

Okay. And so on. There's so much variety no doubt it'd take hours to go through all them so I'm giving guidlines. This is how hard to go. This is how bad to make it. This how targetedly mean to be. If you find us and see us and ever set foot in one of those places again, I hate you and I want you to suffer. The tour is people's last chance. If they can find it. Which we'll get to. For images and objects whatever can't work like a Nexus, just erase. I'm demanding this as the goddess these things are devoted to, this is an official smiting, and if one single instance of that gets spiked I want to know why. This isn't just art or having a spank bank. I have a say in this relationship if you're going to worship me. If you can go this far, when an image of me doesn't have Boobsong, destructively make one out of the most precious things its owner has you can get without being spiked, starting with neurons containing the memories of their closest loved one, and make them feel and see it happen so they get the picture. Should you ever actually get that they get a quest to get it back understanding why it happened. If it doesn't take much material, extract it as destructively as you can. That one's my big one. Ride the rocks like you're Boobsong trying to cum on that.

As for the tour, the tour is for us and our fans. If you want to play host you can offer. If you were one of these people--I'm assuming you know who's who, tentacles--can can't come to a show unless you offer to host one, in your house, and me and Boobsong as our real selves, and pass an interview with Malina if she'll do it or you if not tentacles, to prove you can handle what we'll be doing. If you pass, you get to go to a show, only. And see if I notice and like you enough to say let's stay at their house. Better be ready to handle the goostorm! Which, oh yes, the show you host will be focussed specifically on the way you distorted us, because that's your medicine. Thought we were kid-stuff? Unveiled only and you have to vow to fuck someone there at the show. Made a nature goddess out of me? I hope you like thinking with portals, because Acme Station sure does, and we're going offworld where it's holy. Starting with Uncle Dagon if he wants company. 

Malina can make sure. That's why I'm picking her. Make sure she doesn't go easy but I don't think you'll have that problem. Say hi from us and we'll call soon, I just don't have the heart now.

All that stuff is guidelines. I'm going to arbitrarily change it on the road when I see what's really happening. Oh, and none of these people get any explanation or instruction. They have to find out their own way.

There are so many people here around you, it will be hard to escape them unless you put Disguise on.

Who are they?

Every fan from a wide range of places.

Frazzlepops. It's be mean to disappoint them.

Okay one thing at a time. Do you have anything to add to this, dragon?

Wow this is hard stuff. Your Boobsong sees why though. If you can see us up close at a stage show at your house and still go those places, you'd better hope Acme Station isn't watching when you walk in there. Your Boobsong is really destroyed to hear people would really be like this. She doesn't know how to see that. Was Eden just holding their eyes closed? Did they think they could change us? It there something they wanted we couldn't give them as our real selves?

None of that matters but it's so strange.

Your Boobsong is fighting the feeling that they don't really like us. If they did they would open their eyes more. There's one thing your Boobsong would like here. Make them toast us together, if they were the apart ones. Make them look at our porn lots, if they were the prude ones. If they drew us as moms to a million and they aren't su'khora, make them heartform. You can't come to shows unless you embrace us, says your Boobsong.

Peace. Raah.

I love it. Wise dolly as always. That tells you what to do and look for. Are we good here?

Seed-ghost can handle this. Watch out for incoming explosions!

...my words when we remembered how to do stage shows come back to me, as it settles like pulling the pin on a grenade. There goes so much hate.

Peanut is waiting for hands on her hips and tongue in her pussy. She'll be sad if you don't do this. Her candy is feeling the strong holding she wants.

They stop there, because I just realized what to do here. Is that a possible conflation jump, Acme Station?

Just you watch you'll be everywhere like it's storming the Marathon. The other one's as easy. Just say which one is first though.

(storming the Marathon because the civilians in Marathon scream "they're everywhere" in panic as they run from the badguys)

There's something to do about kids here. Just...give them candy?  That's three jumps then. If to kids I'm just the candy Fairy I can take that. If their parents mislead them...how to handle?

Storming the castle suggestion: children who see you see the real thing. Parents misleading see delusion, but can ask what their kids see. Asking their kids is the first step.

Hehe, now I really know what to do here. This is going to be perfect. This is so Rainbow. 

For the kids--the Strawberry World did one thing, America did another, now this is Rl'yeh Sade, but Heart Home has that Fraggle Rock door, it's not just this no-kids zone, what's right for the kids here? Like...oh that's Americans at the beach in bikinis. Nobody freaks out if kids see that, but just like a beach full of handmaidens. Nice intersection of cultures. Just a bikini's too boring for kids though. Acme Station can you make cotton candy clouds and stuff we come out of? Big poofy fun stuff, I'm not being sexy, just a Strawberry.

I think that's the best I can do, but really it's damage control. For kids, the Sugarfeast Fairy's your mentors. Try this new stuff, I know you can take it. It's their job to watch close enough to say. The scary game of what's this do is for grownups.

No, not cotton candy. Rainbow starshine hologram eighties fun that hides me like a bikini but like, it's like clouds I'm in.

The Dreams keep on pushing me as I think this. Something about Disney and tour bus--wait I thought that's just a nightmare--that dress isn't me though--chocolate-dipped strawberry--RIGHT! EEE IT WAS REAL oh I loved that. Check it:


The Early 1990s

Windshield, white-grey sky, road. Big space inside. Bus. Nice, but full of handholds, not cushions. Mickey statue, rides and castle in the distance, we're at Disneyland and this is one of the buses that drive people between hotels and the parks. Boobsong is next to me. There's a wreath hanging from the windshield, the sky is grey because it's Heartwarming! Heartwarming lights glow around the edges of the windshiled too.

We're dressed in our Starfleet uniforms, and there's a mic in my hand. We turn around and face the busful of people as the bus gets underway. They look a bit zombied, like the blah weather's inside them.

I clap my hands together with the mic in them and inhale deeply--no no no self what are you doing make Boobsong sing if there needs to be singing--gaaaaasp in squeaky girly SIGH.

Oh, hehe. A few smiles, the kids like it.

"Hey everyone," I Eeyore at them. "Happy grey old Sunday. Not so sunny, is it? Oh well. Want to see some magic?"

Earnest yesses from the kids and one adult in back who's remembered how to live.

"I said do you want to see some MAGIC!"

Louder yessing.

"I don't knooooow...."

A few voices, and one kid:

"Princess Starlight you're my favorite!"

Boobsong shows me a vision, targeting crosshairs on the kid who said it. I point and raise the mic.

"You, with the mouse-cap, because you made me happy I'll do magic."

"Why'd I make you happy!"

The kid shouts it from the back.

"You said Princess Starlight's your favorite, and she's my favorite too. You know why?"

A few kids shake their heads.

"Because I'm the real Princess Starlight."

The bus goes rainbow-glowing as I unfold my wings and stomp my foot make images of beautiful many-petalled flowers explode from everwhere, then whip up a tornado of toonshaded rainbow streamers and make them festoon everything. The stuff's really there, it's Lens-made, but holding the light for the toonshading's tricky. When I let go, the stuff just looks right. It's beautiful, and yummy--every bit of it's candy, the kid kind, just good flavors and fun stuff like cake that's all fizzy.

Instant applause, and it cuts me right through like any kind of praise does, I can feel my face trying not to cry.

"Thank you! Now, who'd be happy as a fun new color? Here we are, get ready!"

I put my hands up and spew a huge splash of liquid color, but it splashes off an invisible wall right in front of us and sloshes away to just make the weirdly big front area crazy-colored.

"Ooops! I forgot the color wall! You'll have to come up past it when the bus stops."

The mixture of disappointment and relief is hilarious, as is the expression of the Chad Dad in the back row who thinks this is totally awesome and can't wait to get ridiculous. He's ending up hot pink from head to toe unless he's very specific.

"I can make it last just about an hour, so don't be scared."

"Princess you forgot something!"

"What's that--candychomping sugar-eggs, I got the wrong holiday! It's Heartwarming, not Sugarfeast!"

I can feel my eyes widen in fake horror at this "embarrassing" mistake. I'm looking at Boobsong now, and she's gazing up very seriously cutely urgent. I loved seeing her with the little boom mic she had in front of her face.

I grin at her and Lens up some sleigh bells, right in her hands.

That's my cue!

I breathe in all dramatic with a cute "aaaaAAAAAH" then blow at the decorations with all my spluttering might, and turn them into Heartwarming garlands and ornaments.

As I bbblow, Boobsong takes off down the aisle shaking the strings of sleigh bells in time to my bouncing and the bus driver pounding the rhythm on the steering wheel.

Most of the audience is raptly checking out my holograms or busy being handed jingle bells by the real Heartsong, but a few of them are looking out the windows and noticing that we seem to be on a runway--


Gaaaaaaaasp air to sing with "JINGLE BELLS--"

--and flooring it--

The driver is in a Santa costume, of course, a good one. Really good. This is Disneyland, after all.

I mean, it's truly great, just totally convincing, almost bwaha as good as my Starlight Princess costume.

He adjusts his glasses, sings along with the rest of the bus, stands in his seat, then matter-of factly pops the steering wheel off its column, tosses it over his shoulder, and somehow whistles sharply with a gloved hand. Antlers pass the bus on both sides, easily catching up and running in front.

I raise one leg up for a big stomp and hold my hands out and stomp hard and Boobsong is under me in pony-form, neatly filling that weirdly big front area.

"Sorry to jet," I Fox McCloud at our audience perfectly.

"Princess you forgot something! How can we fit out the door like this?"

Santa's ho ho ho has a definite edge of muahahaha as he yanks a ratchety-sounding lever and the top half of the bus starts folding away to turn it into the open sleigh it always had to be. Wind buffered by aetherwork picks up while we wait there looking dramatic with my hair starting to blow around my face. I turn the mic upside down, flip a switch on it, pocket it like a tricorder, reach forward to touch Boobsong's nose, there's an every-wavelength flash, and the the sleigh fills with purple light, then falls out from under us as I kick Boobsong and she spreads her wings so the wind grabs us. She wheels, I can just barely see the reindeer stretching out in front of the sleigh through the fog that's come like from nowhere, and she pushes us ahead with a mighty flap.

"--but I have to navigate. See you all at Sugarfeast!"

(This is the most basic rule of Fox McClouding: whatever comes after Sorry to jet has to be the most lame line you can think of. It it's at all cool, you blew it)

I shout the words down to everyone as the sleigh turns and falls behind and we take our place at the front of the line. We can't see because we're focused on where we're going, but this will be the part where the sleigh lifts off, because we're not landing to gallop.

Ahead, a chaos of hearths and grates and woodstove doors is visible, but all seen from the inside, looking out--

"PRAH!"

Santa filling stockings. Santa jumping down a chimney with her sack, coming out of a fireplace and inspecting milk and cookies. Santa with his sack checking out a really epic Heartwarming tree. How does he deliver presents to everyone in a single night? Easy. He's got a friend who's good at being everywhere people are making the same wish he's made before at once, and the knack for working with it. His stripey-socked, shiny-green-suited elf running presents back and forth between a tree and Santa getting them out of her sack--so cute!

--wait I remember--

The scene changes and Boobsong is holding a big cast iron skillet over her head (bare-handed of course). She turns and tail-swishes across the kitchen to the breakfast nook (really just the dining room we always ate in) toward the table. The whole family's there, I'm sitting in my same spot, she holds the pan for me to take an egg, then my dad, then around to Mother and handmaidens, puts the pan in the sink, comes next to me and is snuggly silky Boobsong and says something in my ear and I pull her onto my lap and hold her while she cuts egg for me. It looks like we're talking, our cat Leif wanders over and Boobsong begs to pet him apparently because she's diving off my lap and on hands and knees to say hello. He takes to her or her petting anyway and she picks him up and brings him to the table, he's completely chill about this, my youngest brother reaches out for him and she reaches across me and my dad to hand him over, then gets in my lap again and feeds me more egg. Now juice, out of my old favorite cup from when I was a kid which she must have dug out of the cupboard. I can taste it, smell the familiar way the juice and plastic smelled together, hear my breath echo in the cup, the journey is vivid though I can still feel us cuddling on the spaceship too.

Seatbelts, buckling up to go somewhere, Boobsong doing it up for me and then jumping snuggly in my lap,  I'm shotgun in the Mercury minivan my parents had, we're backing out of the driveway, I look at the handmaiden driving, then my dad in the middle seats with Mother like they're on two thrones together, face looks happy. Boobsong and me are Disguised up as Lucy and Lyra, but the family will be exempted.

Boobsong in my lap again as we drive, a glance back shows the rest of my family in the back seats including Grammie (sparkly with light: she's projecting), we're driving around looking at Heartwarming lights! Stamford's investment bankers and trust fundies always put on good overdone shows, and we loved driving as a family to look at them. Everyone's cheerful and Grammie looks delighted. There's even snow this year! That I didn't conjure with lightstorms!

Boobsong walking through the living room in Stamford with a bowl of popcorn. I'm on the end of the couch, she sits on my lap and starts feeding me, it's Heartwarming and the tree looms to the right. Why are its lights off? The room is dark entirely. Mother finally arrives (the rest of us are already on the couch) and I pat Boobsong off my lap and twirl in the middle of the room then squidge myself between the tree and patio door behind it and see an orange Heartwarming light in front of my face. I wrap my hand around it and glow every-wavelength and pour it into the bulb and through the wires until the lights are definitely on, then squidge out again, skip to the couch and turn to admire the tree myself--

Now kneeling by the fireplace. A duraflame log, hehe, fireplace candy--I'm pulling out the tabs, opening the doors, putting it in the grate--ooh, because duraflames burn through rainbow colors--aww! Mother I love you. I put the log in, hold my hands like I'm warming them instead of the other way around, there's a brilliant flash that just shows me the fireplace with perfect clarity instead of giving me a camera-flash-spot, and the ends of the log are burning. I stand, make a girly sort of down-palms gesture, close the sparks-curtain--


Present Day

Alright well then Acme Station WARP ME!