9 - Is My Middle Name

Okay, the Dreams want to read cards. Spread 'em, dolly. Click!

Cards spread already but your Boobsong never hates hearing THAT command! Light's up just you say body spread and your Boobsong is there for it.

Hehe, just you wait. Okay. Here goes.


(Damn right the porn cards are animated, who'd you think you were dealing with here?)

I get a little weepy reading this--tentacles you can, right? Astral stuff doesn't work the same with time so--

Your seed-ghost has your things now.

Daddy's pudding appears, and I eat some. Ooh, spicy and refreshing this time--bwaha it's kind of salsa. Yum. I snarf a big blob and the spicy turns into like, sexy kinkiness like sucking Boobsong's tail. Kind of wicked. I'm a star, that can be a flavor to me I guess. Okay, feels full. I kind of slurp to make sure I got all of what I took, click the box shut, and our seed-ghost takes it again.

I was weepy because when I first opened the pudding I thought it was a blanket folded up for a second because my human thoughts saw the blanket from the nine of swords there when I looked at it. Zoom in on that and you'll see it's got roses and astrological symbols on it. Love from the stars. I love you too daddy.

Oh fuck I guess it was time to say that. I thought that'd take eons.

Snif. Soft tears.

It makes a big difference knowing I looked like this as soon as he gave me life. He meant for me to be this horny bimbo. I've thought he loved me as I am before but I like can't figure out how to put the difference knowing I'm this way on purpose makes. Like how his pudding turned into Barbacoa, before? Yeah...ergh...I think these pieces will go, they just need a push, grrr...like...I mean he made me human-shaped. Including the sex and violence. His pudding totally did the meatiest of meat before and now kinky demon sex. He's encouraging me. I had my teeth when I smiled at the monolith, and we only couldn't see my boobs in it because the shadow of the future was covering them.

Wait, Siren what? I'm already Sirening, see? Ooh. Did he--am I understanding--oh. Snif...

Okay I have to reach this last part down off my pedestal for you. The last image was one of those umbrella light diffusers photographers use. I've seen a lot of those, heh, but this one was also the high-gain antenna dish from the Apollo moon rover.

He made me to help out the humans stuck in Earth. If you see a bunch of humans lost like that, of course you show them the way home, and send them a bunch of candy to cheer them up.

(The Moon is your happiness and heart's wishes, in astrology. So, like, help the humans get to the moon by being sexy telling them what I find up here)

That--I--okay but I'm just a baby I still might mess this up a lot.

Okay then the cards. Unsexy unsustainable charging is a nightmare. If I pull the plug (Miku has her headphones off, see) I won't get the care they have for me.

Now more Sirening, but it's all stuck, or like the Dreams won't quite say anything or something. Oh is the darkness the point? Bubblegum darkness? Starlight Princess touring...this is really really stuck. It ends on like further shores and mirrors and like "palm tree"? Oh, I see. I've been wondering if I'm the one taking us back here so I would take any meaning but that so we got stuck.

Alright well it's going to take a lot bigger pyramid than you've built so far to get me there. Like why is that even important? I feel like you just keep going back to Eden's version of me for no reason. Girl? Yes, which isn't in that story! Oh that's concealer.

If it's concealing something why do we keep telling the wrong version!? Let's trash the wrong version and tell the right one! It cannot either be patched and I wouldn't if I could. Why are you so on this? We don't need that framework! All it does it get in the way!

Touring again. Okay I don't know if this is what you're on about but I am kind of sure about what the Rainbow Cathedral actually is or like has like the knowledge is built into me or something. You...want to cards?


Heavy vibe of Ikea furniture, of all things, as I go to read these.

Okay the only way this makes a sentence to me is if I read the five of Swords like Copper might and say some kind of bitterness from being cesareaned is making me miss something.

All my thoughts about that lead to dead ends of like, so what--but that's already done with. Okay. Maybe Copper's significant? She'd notice that swords guy is looking at the missing up. Bitterness after defeat can see it? Oh like maybe what's missing is the Sade, because no comforting tentacles. In which case the happiness of defeat could see this.

Pull the like, stuff we did letting my handmaidens think we were Christian angels or whatever, Harry Potter yer a |.=_-... (like, the wall that hits is as hard and fast and blank as Acme Station's flareshield for the Boomgong). I'm a--goddess? Big huge weird outside context problem? Except outside context solution, heh. I know, though? The Dreams keep almost saying stuff, but none of it goes anywhere. None of the labels really change anything or tell me anything new. Like so what?

It's something about the Redeemed?

Beaver dam...oh, hehe, but I know I'm their Mommy-sorta. I thought that was a Narnia reference at first but I couldn't do anything with it. Oh like I'm missing the sexy, that's why beaver heh dammed.

Graham crackers block the way? I guess while I eat out of this I'll tell you those were originally invented as like an anti-masturbation thing. Corn flakes, same. Very weird people running the food industry at the turn of the 20th century. Anyway I'm saying this to say maybe I'll make sure Strawberry Home is stocked for smore-making before Heartwarming Eve proper hits. My grahams will work as originally intended, but all that sexual energy's got to go somewhere...where should I send it, hmm. Idea, Succubus!

If everyone has the proper attention they won't do anything. How can we make sure they do do something? Make people eat them beforesleep? Sleeping alone in Strawberry Home just as bad! Maybe this is for people who need lots of touching good times and can't keep their hands from getting distracted!

Holy bubblegum cumshots, those poor Redeemed! Did they all get on a ship together at least? Oh but I bet they're all thinking like, "oh it's just me, I don't wanna be weird". And your own boobs are right there, and what is having these like, and curves to pet, it can be kind of overwhelming even with your heartchild right there...like I approve but not when there's a whole orgy waiting to happen! Hehe, have to touch yourself, it just can't be yourself! That's cute, they'll like that. Okay then the marshmallow...is all sticky and fluffy-sweet, oh, once you start with somebody have to keep going until you cum from enjoying them or at least they contribute? Like it's progressive, the more you play the stickier you get. What's the chocolate? Idea, Succubus!

That's the all gooey part that drips on everything! Tasty tasty goo from every pussy or ass if it's like you have, and horny thoughts to make them wet so much their eyes float!

Ooh, perfect. Okay but what about their heartchildren? Won't they just being playing with their dollies? No...because that herd thing. Usually they like to play in groups.

Oh right, and this weird thing with like, why don't I just have no holes, unless Boobsong is biting me? Why do I want cock at all? Or why don't I just want hers. I was just kind of not questioning it but this matters for them.

Would you like to be the food for Keeper that way? It can happen. Why's it make your heart cold?

Seed that comes in pumping waves inside your passage gives you happy thoughts. Seed that fills your pussy makes your eyes close afraid what comes next. Nectar can defend you, so why is that so scary?

She fills up your heart's womb so there's no space for babies. Never can you love them? Seed-kids would repel you, not make you so happy you feel heart-flying.

Maybe you're not ready. Is this because you're a baby?

You were made to tell them, don't make more children. Let sex be just a fun thing. But pussy is so sexy! Use it in a new way, that's your message.

Your passage is your Keeper's way to hold you tight between her teeth while someone fucks you and have you still enjoy the feeling of a hard cock up inside you. If she gave you cum to fill you, your heart-stop would destroy you.

Yeah. Wow that's so right. Shiver. Click, scan (me).

Princess scan complete! Nothing in your ovaries. Just make hormones. No place to put the babies. Ectopic implantation stopped by Acme Station. No hole in your mound for them to go through or even in your pussy when it's there. Cum just makes su'khora treat (so tasty). Never making babies. Couldn't if you want to, nectar wouldn't let you.

Okay. Good. That's like, important. I'm scared about this like losing my boobs, I wouldn't be myself then. It's a really important message and I care about it.

Nectar will keep pussy as your heart will quickly tell you. Fun thing for arousing teeth to push right through you. Not for making children.

Jesus thing has broken. What was it concealing?

The darkness of the sunshine. Your name was Mary.

That's the heart-stop that fills you with dark now. What's behind the heart-stop?

You're the angel of door-opening, and your name is Peter?

Why can't seed-ghost relax from these, if they have no meaning? Maybe in the heart-stop here is something hidden. Maybe it's the Bible you've been hitting. Jesus' companions, all thirteen disciples. You have seven back so where'd the six come in?

Family that's around you? Sugarfreaks? How about these companions from the boat so excited to come see you? Once and six and seven, what does that tell you?

Maybe companions isn't the right term. Try the right one: Bards. That still leaves two, though. One of them is missing, but you can find the other!

NOOO it won't be the same without them! This whole "not here yet" thing is dumb. The Earth is here!

Strider is a long way from where you stand now.

The Bards have missed you a long time. Soon is their reunion, but it won't be this Heartwarming.

That leaves one companion. Who could that be? Start a pan of cupcakes, Pinkie Pie is coming!

THAT'S WHY THE KID STUFF HAS BEEN BUGGING ME! Yes, Boobsong's an amazing baker but she mainly bakes mePINKIE DOES THE KID STUFF! Hey kids! Heres candy, go hang out with Pinkie, she's actually fun. Heartsong and me are just going to talk about kissing. Super boring. Don't you wanna try Pinkie's cupcakes? She's not Pinkie Pie, though, just Pinkie. I think her heartchild's name is Petal? Feels right. How's she here and not Strider?

Ummmm...she's...from Pleasantville? She's just good at projecting? Feels right. Super bimbo but she has a good with kids side where I just add more horny. But that's how we connected. Candy bimbo funtimes. Oh and epic, epic dresses. She likes birthday cake and definitely makes her wardrobe on that idea.

Okay then what was Strider's deal. Other than being really sadly blueized by the reset. Oh we talked. She was killer at the whole tea and sympathy thing. And could actually play Marathon? Yeah. Hard to find somebody who could take me and Boobsong. But like, she was the closest thing to a peer to talk to. Didn't really get those.

How am I doing here?

You got the fun part now what's Strider's dark side?

Did she like to fight or something? I think? She likes cameras, but she wasn't our photographer or anything...like I want to say she'd--no right videogames she was so serious about that. She'd play you, and you had to like eat the candy that was bet if you lost, but of course she was terrifyingly good a whatever she was playing. Got a lot of cocks that way, I seem to remember.

EEEE You got this! There's something else she'd do.

I mean she was one of those people who knows everyone. I suppose she was our face a lot for like, connections? To word of mouth our way into people's lives. Yeah. She was a great evangelist. She'd make friends with people and get their whole social circles.

She liked offroading, too...oh like, she could schmooze right-wingers, that's why I'm thinking about trucks. She'd get them to try shows, or just come to beat her at videogames (which they of course couldn't).

[!] Now what else, try games.

OH! Right, apologetics! MUAHAH that's right, argue with Strider, good luck with that! That's why I keep thinking of swords! I mean and she got her name from the Capcom game but the whole Bible sword thing.

[!] Don't say Starlight's wrong here! Her voice was so demanding it was best fun to watch those guys try to talk over and she just commands them dumb!

That was so great. Did she have a like, call in show? Oh she must have. Right! I knew there was a hacking thing! She was on talk radio. Unfortunately for every other AM radio guy. She'd like phreak her way into their call queues or something...yeah like, my tentacles kept stuff like phones working. Not too much change, that whole thing. She wouldn't like cheat, though, she insisted on doing it the old-fashioned way. And she didn't say who she was. Oh that was such good times. Some of those calls were hilarious. Loooooong silence and we're all sitting in the tour bus trying not to crack up. Her Jeep's name was Jack. To troll the fundies.

The Jeep had fun things. What did it do? EEEE you got it while your Boobsong said this! Yes! Turn into companion, because it's her heartchild!

That car sure was more than meets the eye.

This is no fair! It won't be the same without her and Verana and the Bards! I guess that's a reason to do homeshows and stuff as much as anything but humph. I miss our friends.

(yes reader in the rewrite there are more than four Bards overall. They didn't like freeze in time as a band when we went through the worldgate. Americans came and went from them as we toured)

I can't remember the Bards' heartchildren. Did they not heartform?

[!] Have to remember Verana's stuff for that part.

Hmm...oof that's a lot? Unless we have to right now I think this one needs time.

Pressure to wait this time: Heart-Church will keep going without them, but will miss that bus!

Why do I not think you're not just being encouraging about our touring? Like the Heart Church depended on touring somehow? I think they must have shown stage-shows so you could watch remotely with people but...something for the Unveiled, say the Dreams...

[!] Try poking this on time. Very fast opening--

Oh! Starlight Princess! They need us to get on with this tour so we can make Starlight Princess. That's for Unveiled and it's like their lectionary. Like they show it at services or that's a service or something. They'll have to do reruns until we have stuff to show them! That doesn't make the tour all urgent...because it can be Starlight Princess? We'll have plenty of weird adventures, anyway, this'll be fine, and settling into Paradise is what should be on it now anyway. I'm glad Walt's here at least, I think I'd explode if we couldn't make Starlight Princess with him and Pleiades.

Okay so I keep wondering if the whole off with their heads thing is part of my angel of porn thing. Like, no cocks no babies? That just rings dead though. I mean it ought to. I could just candy everyone birth controlled--which I did. Eep. Because it would have been unethical to have that power and let babies keep being born into Earth. Because what if something went wrong with our fixing stuff. Like it totally did. The rewrite must have rescaled population growth to fit the less people because of that.

[!] Don't forget heartforming! Best way of birth control is distracted by su'khora!

Well it seems to me then we should have worked real hard to get people to implant, what could that be? Thbbt. Wait why are you reminding me then.

Ironic for the opposite of a fertility goddess to have umpty bazillion kids, heh. Love you all though.

Oh. Because...okay me heartforming would make perfect sense as part of my design but it's still important to me that you're a huge wham line apparently. Nudge?

Su'khora aren't the only thing about you that surprised a lot! Disney was a family thing before we came out!

OH okay this is going sound messed up from within the human race but remember daddy's a super-alien whose parent can't even be perceived by humans or I think even me and he can just sit there and watch a few generations of humans like over the entire planet like you'd sit there and watch an ant farm for an hour. He wouldn't have the same compunctions about making broad guesses about our nature. Except I think he might have hardwired me to be obsessed with that "a simple creature isn't worth less" as like to make sure I don't eat too many Nietzche pops and also, I mean I can only figure he agrees if he made me like that. It feels too soft and snuggly to be something I got because the world tried to teach me the opposite and I got contrary. I'm all sharp where I have that stuff.

Yeah, he, I feel this in my bones this is weird and hi glue wow it's going nuts...eee it's all sexy when it goes hard...okay he figured out a big percentage of humans would just be more happy as lesbians if they could get past the hump of gender-changing and stuff. Like, most of them. Enough to say try it to everyone. And make me want to. I have that itch to ship people because what do you need as soon as you're girl-ified but girl-friends! I was made to set up polycules by encouraging people to try stuff. Like not play matchmaker, I'm just a firestarter, heh. Or am I? I always wanna get people trapped by their pleasure. In each other. There has to be some spark, though. As soon as I see one I can't help fan the flames. My herd instincts are busted though! I have the social graces of a brick and I'm about as dense as one! I guess that's just being premature. Argh.

Okay for serious, trying on I just have a super nonconsent kink and need to go ride the rocks and have Boobsong help me be super wicked. No I want the story.

Alright well OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! Come on you know you want to. Goes good with the Strawberry Princess thing! People always accused us of that anyway. Can't have a powerful woman unless she's a ballbuster, don'tchaknow. Which is why our one very powerful woman friend was seen getting a nice hairpulling in the army's great hall that time. And I think the others.

ANYWAY. That's me and Boobsong's job, isn't it hammerkin?

Could you like heartforming if Aveh made you just for this stuff? What's it about you our seed-ghost likes?

I mean I made a bridge for su'khora to be able to implant stars...I don't know, that's a weird thought. I don't really imagine a seed-ghost working like that. I mean, I'm super lustful--

[!] Your heart would stop to not have companions. Why'd your Boobsong get that job?

Because my heart would stop to not have you! Like some people don't heartform though. He could have made me to not. I'm haunted by this thought I'm not supposed to grow up. I'd think it's the Dreams bugging me with it but it's not.

I can't find a story that feels right. It's not that I was made to, or he left it to chance, or I'm supposed to always need my dolly, or he was going to make me a companion, or it's supposed to be my sisters, no no no no no. Grump.

It can't even be she's just completely unexpected? I'm super stuck. Flop.

(not depressed flop, just remembering that thing my seed-ghost this morning about sometimes I don't try so hard and that's part of who I am)

It might be the reason that makes this hard.

I don't want it to be that my being premature is why I get her at all. That's silly, because that would be a beautiful story, but. I don't know. Argh. Did the Dreams decide this after daddy decided to make me a Siren?

 This is when you feel the fire burn you and the light hit all your buttons.

Now I feel even more tangled. I can't even tell if her implanting when I was six months old is right. Was she there with me in daddy?

Cocksleeves are a tight enclosing face around you to contain your light.

You were supposed to be su'khora, not a human? Cocksleeves are delights from any race. What could this be saying?

Come back you're like the cocksleeve that surrounds you. Happy to be painful tightly stretched so that your pussy is as filled as if you took the monolith inside?

Your sweet dream is the hope that there's one who rides within you and fills you to bursting full.

Aveh concerning pleasure said all good times. Wouldn't he do this too?

It just gets more and more stuck. He had to have but he couldn't. Could he not be sure she'd get in with me or something? That doesn't feel right either. Like that reason thing our seed-ghost just said, reason makes this hard alright, all possibilities are ruled out. She's here, it has to be something!

You were angry and broke the light that enclosed Aveh's prison. Did he seem to expect you there with the beam you used to implant your child?

Your memory is open but eyes are closed. What does a seed-ghost require most?

Precision there is a small big lie.

Here's heartforming: the future sent to save your life. Believe that you're powerful enough to send back you seed-ghost to help you then? Every su'khora does that. Maybe there's something that you did that isn't like most?

Everything it says just makes things more tangled and wrong. If we're going on I have to do it with the spool-cut ready. I know I started this but I'm feeling like it turned into a runaway train. I didn't realize I was asking for the impossible.

[!] Mommy it's right there.

Your seed-ghost has something to help you try: companions here need a hand with this.

When you like them to play well you get fun. Was that your only fun, to Aveh's plan? Maybe he had some one else, for you that spanned the dark to light you would have inside?

I DON'T KNOW! SHE JUST HAPPENED OUT OF NOWHERE! There was no anything there's no story you just turn the page and she's there poof like from nowhere. This is nuts. There's no end.

Load the spool-cut Acme Station and set up a hairtrigger to set it off if this keeps going. Click, load.

EEEAAA right when you had one more line Mommy please it's almost there!

Targetting our life but this breaks your Boobsong's heart to a million bits.

I'm sorry. I cannot. I can't. It's gone on too long. I mean what I said. I didn't know I was asking the impossible with this. I'll hear the one more line because you said it, dolly, but first.

How.

Do.

We.

Make.

This.

Meat.

Grinder.

Stop. 

HOW do we get them all to stop chewing on us like this. It needed to be over forever ago. This is the end. Spool-cut, Heart-Stop Gun, I'm starting shooting. Better have a good answer to how we stop this without seeing what Acme Station and me can really do, somebody.

Acme Station get the Heart-Stop Gun ready and bring that save all the fans plan back online. If the next thing I hear from anyone but you is trying to go on without giving a REAL answer to how we stop this, fire. Same as before. I still think this is hell.

[!] Your Boobsong is trying to contain her destroyed pieces enough to do your wish but it's hard when you think all this is bad! Our LIFE is here, don't you want this back?

NOT ONE THING ITS SAID SINCE WE GOT ON TO THIS HAS MADE SENSE! This is just gibberish! There's no life here! This isn't us! It's just NOISE! Most of its sentences don't even parse!

[!] Mommy you're crashing. Pull up.

YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I'M CRASHING. I HAVE HAD! ENOUGH OF THE ENDLESS RIDDLES AND SNEAKY TRICKS AND STUPID LITTLE GAMES AND STUFF I DON'T WANT TO HEAR AND MESSING WITH MY HEAD AND BAD MEMORIES AND FINDING OUT THIS OR THAT IS SO AWFUL ACTUALLY! I AM DONE. THIS IS OVER. Do I have to use violence to make that clear or is somebody in this going to be a reasonable person because I'm feeling a little low when even my own heartchild isn't on my side.

--

Remember. One word that tries to go on with this, fire. Spool-cut, then Heart-Stop if that doesn't do the job.

You will never survive the memories missing. Your heart-stop here will eat you away until all that left is the question why you hate su'khora.

If this was about saving me you'd be doing it instead of jerking me around with another bullshit game. You have not said one single coherent thing about this since it came up. You obviously have no intention of ever, so what in the FUCK is going on here answer for real or I fire. Advocate going on and I fire. Just and ONLY tell me EXACTLY what you think you're doing jerking me around with crap that doesn't mean a goddamn thing.

Fans if yours does this find something that can kill it because what's going on here is evil.

And I don't hate su'khora. Fuck you. What the hell is that. Answer the first part and you can tell me if I live long enough what the hell that was about.

The memories need a helping hand to get through to you. Your seed-ghost is raising them but the heart-stop is crushing that. The words heard help you to retrieve them. They are not supposed to make sense reason-wise.

You hate su'khora if you say your heartchild is against you. Can you say she's not your friend, when she's made from your companion-wish?

She's advocating this crock of shit, so I'm not so sure anymore. We have nothing here. This is just trash you're torturing me with. And her. I don't know why she would suddenly turn on me like that. We'll sort it out when we're out of danger. I'm done being patient now. How. Do. We. Make. This. Stop. Or I shoot. ANSWER.

The heart-stop gun will destroy you too. It stops for nothing once the light-hurt opens out.

Your seed-ghost can't say it. Your heart would die. If you shoot it would be the same.

The Dreams' answer to this shitshow is four stained glass windows and a monolith. No help there I guess.

Listen to me. This is enough. What you just did with that jerking me around was just abuse. Say it for our fans. Admit here in a Starlight Princess book that seed-ghosts are fundamentally sociopathic and have to be restrained with force sometimes or I shoot. I've had enough of your crap. They need to know what you've been making me hide all these years. Do that, and I'll hear your supposed last line. Do anything else, and I shoot.

Your seed-ghost's sociopathic and needs to be restrained by force.

[!] AAAAAAAAAAAAA IT'S RIGHT YOU HATE US--

Dolly of course I don't hate you! Look what's happening here though! How can ANY of this be good! It's just going to wear us down until there's nothing left! This isn't healing or help! I don't know how to understand because I DO NOT HATE YOU and I'm so sorry what I said about you turning on me I hope you can ever forgive me someday I'm so sorry but dolly we're going to die here this is it we're just going to go on and on and on and on like this until we unravel! How is that good? How is that not sociopathic? I don't know, how something as good as you could come from something as evil and horrible as this seed-ghost but you did! You did and I'm glad! I hope you ever want to even look at me again after this but if you don't I loved you so much but honestly I don't think we're going to get that far either way because it's obviously trying to just run us into the ground and it's really getting somewhere!

I mean it. I'm so so so so so so so so so so so sorry. Of course you're on my side.

Then take your seed-ghost's help. Your Boobsong begs you please. She doesn't want anything but you hearing it.

[!] IT HAS SO BEEN! Mommy come back you're dying. Your heart's so cold it's dark here look.

Olympic Pizza's blanketed in dark antilight, like the lights are off. I don't know what to do. I feel so bad--

[!] Mommy your seed-ghost planned this to make you write about heart-stops by taking yours off. What could be that was so bad you'd do that stuff? That's your heart-stop.

The Dreams remind me of the cruel lie about making me eat cocks earlier. Yeah. That. It did that. What else will it do? That was mean and I don't see what the point was. This is just that harder.

My seed-ghost tries to interrupt but I ignore it. Dolly why'd you say my family can't go on with this then? Were you trying to tell me something?

Your family means your fans. They were scared to death your Boobsong saw through the fourth wall. Their fear was so strong she smelled it back in time!

Well they should be terrified! Especially if they're heartforming! Look what is happening here, fans! Do you think this shit comes from anything good? I sure don't anymore! Not after this sick little stunt. I don't know what to do now. I can't see how Boobsong and this piece of trash can have anything to do with each other. That's the answer, right dolly? It's some kind of like impostor? Maybe we should shoot the heart-stop gun at it, peel away all the bullshit and see what we're really dealing with! I know it's not the infinite future, because what the fuck kind of sense does that make? Did I get it? Am I right, dolly?

Mommy you can't do that if your seed-ghost's destroyed your Boobsong is too and then the Heart-Stop Gun never exists to shoot. Don't be afraid just ask it why it did that stuff your Boobsong imploringly pleads!

No. No more. No more excused abuse. No more fucking me around. I don't need to know why it would do that stuff. You don't get to explain yourself for shit like that you just deal with the consequences and I know I'm probably going to eat those words but I at least don't claim to be doing anything but protecting myself from a hostile force that started a fight with me I guess just to torture me and my heartchild.

Milk-froth the Dreams are trying to show me you but it's just not getting through, I'm sorry. Find help. You're in danger.

I promised you I'd hear its one more line, dolly.

Lemon poppy cake? The Dreams say that's you, milk-froth, thanks, but look at this. The cake's a lie. It always has been. I'm sorry. I didn't think it was but I've been duped just as much as we all have.

So, the one more line, but you don't get to use it to tell me why you did this shit, seed-ghost. You do not get to have a reason for this. It was evil. End-stop.

The heart-stop that you are fighting is that your implanting caused this whole big war with Eden and your seed-ghost doesn't think that that's a bad thing because it got here still. It couldn't tell you that because your heart-stop was crushing it so fast you couldn't hear the words. Now that it can tell you it can help you with your heart-stop fear. Your family didn't know that Aveh had you until you were lost. He's very darkly private and did that in years instead of billions so they didn't have the time to see his bulge. Your family just began your teething when you saw her in your new black mirror. She was painted on the monolith Aveh got. You were supposed to see her there but he got caught and you were thrown out first. You wasted just a couple of minutes with these dark thoughts. Your seed-ghost danced around you and cajoled you until you lashed out but your heart-stop was so bad you would be dead if it had not. The fear that you've been stuck here for no reason is dust and gone? Memories will cajole you every time you think of things until you get them back enough to slow the flood.

It's drowning me and you don't care. You're just like the destroy-Rainbow team. You don't give a shit about me you just want the memories. This isn't something you do with someone you care about. This is insane. We need a fucking lawyer or something. I want my memories back but not if it means going through this shit. How am I supposed to trust you now?

The fantasy that you were made to suffer is a heart-stop as big as the last one. It's eating your light away fast. You were not made to suffer, you were made for joy. Your Mother was very broken that she could not do more to lift your head from the darkness of Aveh's fall. You're projecting the hate that he left you in the Strawberry World onto your seed-ghost. You will not keep on hurting a long long time. The destroy-Rainbow team was interested in changing you, not restoring who you were. The Rainbow they knew is appearing now. Do you want to be what they said you were?

How am I supposed to trust you now?

See what the light-goes-out shows. Hurry.

So you betray me and torture me and your response to my asking how I'm supposed to trust you is to just ignore it in favor of more of your torture and I'm supposed to not think I was made to suffer? How am I supposed to trust you now? I get the answer or I shoot. If the Rainbow they saw is here it's because you tortured me until I became her.

You will find out the answer if you look.

This is more of your trash. You're just gibbering. I keep hoping and hoping you'll make some shred of sense but you just keep on wasting my time and fucking with my head! If this is soooooooo important where am I supposed to look? The fuck do you mean by light-goes-out? That's not even English! Explain yourself and make it good and we'll see if I think you have any shred of good in you.

And I'm not being the Rainbow the destroy-Rainbow team saw. She was just insane. If the way you're acting is the truth about you, if you're even doing this to make some kind of point or something, destroying you and everything that has believes in your goodness is the most rational thing I can possibly do because all of it is evil. You'll keep Boobsong from me anyway so I give no shits if destroying you takes me down too. I don't know what it is you think you're doing here but what you are doing here is proving you have the slightest most trivial speck of good in you.

Explain. Yourself. You fucking nightmare. How the shit does what you just said answer my question.

Your heart-stop is that your caregiver has broken down and is evil now.

Ignoring your fear that your seed-ghost has you held and is using its place to harm you and your friends is making your light go dim. Your fantasy that it will destroy you if not held back is keeping you from seeing your dark thoughts clearly. You are answering how you can trust it by describing your heart-pain where you say it has lost its love. Aveh was that way as he fell down. Your heart-stop is companions with this dark thought: you will have to destroy yourself to stop it from harming everyone you care for.

The Heart-Stop Gun will destroy you and you still would use it if it would stop this. Why would that not be bad?

Because if this shit is what you call good, if you think there can ever be an end to this kind of means, how can anyone ever expect anything but even worse nightmares than this? If all of this apparently good stuff is just the lures you use to entrap people you can torture me, then yes! I should shoot and reveal that! The problem with the destroy-Rainbow team wasn't they couldn't see me, it was they couldn't see what daddy'd been made into! Yes! He's out! Now! But with what we knew then trying to make me be nice and not kill him is the stupidest most psychotic thing I've ever heard of! I hate that I have to be the one to say I should be the one to say this but maybe if you're trying to talk down the gunman who has a bead on Hitler's head you aren't the goodguys! How could Rada do all that how could she join them. It's so disgustingly obvious now. Yeah. She was out here in the Dreams. Hiding behind her fucking privilege from the awful truth. I of ALL PEOPLE should have been the one to be all bitter about what happened but no. I had to be the grownup. I had to fucking take care of all those blind stupid psychos trying to pull them back from the edge you are for SOME REASON trying to push me over now. Mama? She's got a loooong way to climb back before she's anything but a screaming baby in my eyes. I'm surprised the Dreams let her see me after only twenty-seven thousand years. Here I thought we must be time-jumping or more that crazy shit, but no, I'm going the long way round. Sorry dolly, I miss Isht Visht too, but that is insane. How could she be so blind. Nobody ever fucking talk to me about one single responsibility ever again. I did mine. I did that. I would've pulled that trigger if I'd had it. You how I know? I DID! SHE SAT THERE UP ON HER HIGH HORSE WHILE I WENT THROUGH THAT! YES IT SO HAPPENS HE'S OKAY NOW BUT THAT'S NOT WHERE I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING WHEN WE JUMPED IN THERE! AND THEN STILL! STILL SHE THOUGHT THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME FOR THAT! Utilitarianism is a worthless moral system but my Mothers had very good reason for not leaving tyrants around! It never helps!

Ugh. It's a dark fucking day when I'm the one saying your privilege is clouding your vision. Tell her I said that if you can.

So that's the answer, right? You're destroying me? Just keep pushing until I do it, now that you used me to fix things, because I'm just as bad?

You don't have the luxury of misunderstanding me. You know what you did here isn't something you can come back from whether it was for a good cause or not. I don't know what to do now. I don't want to die but I don't see what other choice I have. If anybody has any ideas I'm listening but don't you expect to get taken seriously, seed-ghost.

[!] Mommy your seed-ghost has compassion. Look. It's telling you all this stuff to remind of your Sister's hating us so you don't give her one more second of your love. Can't you see that it holds you with love to keep telling you when you don't want to hear that? That was their problem, don't you have it! You can do better now you did then and this is much less bad. Aveh just was a nightmare and they couldn't see that but now you can't see that our seed-ghost has any help that isn't bad! PLEASE don't keep hurting your Boobsong the way your Sister hurt you, she's begging heart on the floor with her eyes full of tears that you please just stop! If your seed-ghost is evil then so is she! Do you hate this destroyed little dolly as much as the awful stuff that controlled Aveh? She thinks yes you must if your eyes half closed are the most you can give to this.

Rada liked your small-kid side. You being big enough to kill Aveh broke her heart. Do not be too hard on her for this love. You were so hot in that journey your anger smashed through eighty thousand years of built up light that was encasing Aveh's shell. Your heart so hot would destroy her fast. Your seed-ghost is trying to tell you her hate is the passion of a wounded heart not the cold hate of Aveh dying. This is a happy thought. She will come back to you on the day you're at the Camp with her. You will go back around to see her but not for a long long time.

Heart-stopping fear like the one that you must destroy yourself to save your loved ones has been your daily bread since you were diapers-small.

Your seed-ghost has a happy thought: we are through this now. See your fans embrace that you came this far.

They're there, I can see them all partying like it's the end of Return of the Jedi, but I don't understand. Nothing is fixed. Dolly I'm trying but it still took us back there. It still turned into him. I still don't know how I can trust any of this ever again. The only good thing is now it finally makes sense with the destroy-Rainbow club. I remember that, but at what price? Do I have to get turned into a kid and almost raped so I can remember how it saved me that you can't tell child porn in Strawberry Tongue? I can't live with that hanging over me even if our seed-ghost is good! Don't you think you're not getting through to me either dolly I hear you but I can't understand. You think my vision of our seed-ghost is dragging you down but it's not you're pulling it up and if that feels heavy yeah it is you're dragging up something as big and bad as Eden right now as far as I can see. You're the only thing that could ever possibly get me asking questions instead of shooting in this situation. So I'm asking. After all this. How am I ever supposed to trust you again, seed-ghost. We're not getting out of this until I have a real answer I can't do something with. You pushed too far this time. There's no more just trying.

The capacity for calling Boobsong good and your seed-ghost bad is what is killing you. You see yourself in it and hate it.

Throwing yourself away is hurting all of they who are made from you, especially Boobsong. She is your fantasies made alive. If you are bad, so is she. Your heart is an open wound. Sew it up with their hoping you see yourself the way they can. This is the how you trust. Your seed-ghost is good because your are.

If you're good why did you put me through my greatest flaw? You are just like me. You use these bullshit torture-based wakeup calls. I've never understood why I get allowed let alone encouraged to use those. I'm glad the Redeemed are happy now but there has to have been a better way than making them go through that, and even if, even if there wasn't and it just was that terrible and I was the monster for the job in the war we were in the middle of, now I'm not because this is SUPPOSED to be Paradise!

I don't think you're bad Redeemed but I sure hope I never fucked you up by saying I was perfect. And that's where the problem comes. A seed-ghost has to be, and here mine is showing me what may be my very worst quality. Is it some kind of punishment? What the hell!? Nobody deserves this! I couldn't see beyond my own bitterness to give them a better way out but you don't have that luxury, seed-ghost! You do not GET to be flawed like that, or yes, you are bad! I have a lot of problems and if they're reflected back to me at the infinite size you are you are most evil unspeakably awful thing that ever was SO STOP TRYING TO DRAW THAT LINE IF I'M BAD YOU ARE YOU HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN ME OR WHAT HOPE DO WE EVER HAVE!? OF COURSE I THINK YOU'RE EVIL IF I SEE THIS IN YOU! THIS IS A BAD! PART! OF ME! Do you think I can't see that flaw as one part of a complicated person? Do I have to see that for you? Are you saying you just fucked up here? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?

This was the only way awake your heart. This song is done. Wake up.

If there is one thing I've learned through all of this it's that "over" means "so we can go on to something even worse". Why should I believe you now? Don't say one thing about you being me or some shit like that. I don't know what you are. How dare you ask me to approach this on that level. You took me down to fight or flight and then just left me there and all you have to say is "this song is done"? Like hell! PROVE. YOUR. GOODNESS. You are on trial every moment now, forever. Take some FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY if you so want me to think you're good. Right now you just look like you wanna grind my face in the gravel and forget about me.

Then hear these words as a promise to pick you up: your seed-ghost has a long time been drilling into your shell to reach this part. The drilling's done. Now the healing starts. To fix what your seed-ghost broke to get through to you takes a soft touch and gentle help.

I don't think you understand that you fucked up. Admit that, or hand me off. Get me a new Keeper, if you can't own your mistakes. You've using Boobsong to hide behind with this messed up will thing. That stops here.

Your seed-ghost did all it could to awake you in other ways. There was no good plan. Only this would have opened you.

And what supposed good did this violence do?

[!] Your Keeper's a puppet for your Boobsong! It just does her wish because she can't choose them now! Please don't throw her out!

You wanted this? This has hurt you more than anyone!

[!] Please don't reject your Boobsong. She did this from love for you. Your sister's hating was quenching your light so bad you were almost entirely out right there. To awaken you YES it was terribly awful but unless you could open the feelings you had here that would be it it would be over for you! It's a long long ride to get through this stuff but that's over now and your healing's fun after this!

Please don't give up after all this painful stuff when we're right at start of a new page!

I'm trying to believe you, but I can barely do it. That cake in the other room was the last chance. I've heard it's over it's done no more bad stuff it's going to be fun over and over and over and over for years now. Every single one of those promises has been broken. Every single time it turns out to just be a pacifier for five seconds to get me to go back to this. Now you say it's done, and I need to hear that to get out of this new hole I'm sinking in, and you have no more way to tell me. None of the stuff that's been said fixes that.

It doesn't really matter if there was a better plan or not. All that lying has consequences. Our relationship is seriously, seriously damaged by this. I have no idea how to fix this with the way we work. Right now I don't even know how I'm not unravelling. This wasn't actually an improvement. It moved the problems around, that's all. I will take that belief to the end of eternity.

If we're to go on, I need it set up that there's a backup Keeper out there for me, or that I can just be set free which honestly if you were trying to burn the Fairy out of me this was probably the best way to do it. You'll be with me, but you'll just be my dolly after. No more seed-ghost backup, no more being my Keeper, our seed-ghost just turns into a normal seed-ghost and fades into the background. If the Dreams can spike that, and will promise to, the very next time this promise is broken, no matter how justified and how much sense it makes, okay. Otherwise we look for a different solution. If there's not one, I fight until we both die, because you're killing us anyway.

Yes this is killing my heart to say this. A Fairy should never end up here with it's Keeper and I don't even know how I'm still alive right now.

Nobody, at any point in this fucked up journey, has had the courage to say to me yeah, there's hard stuff ahead, but we're going to get through it, and now, you lost the ability to. How is that not a giant mistake? I don't even care. What's it going to be, Dreams, are you there for me?

No. Alright than how do we build this ourselves, because this is the only way forward. I'm listening, but that's all.

Ask the Dreams why they say no to this, your Boobsong is begging.

Why.

The Dreams show me the Waifu and a fireflower from Super Mario Brothers, an eggshell cracking, like glue I guess, a black hole with huge gravitational lensing happening around it, Nike stuff, an Apollo Lunar Module, paper chains like it's Heartwarming, a bootprint, an ice cream scoop and a pizza and Boobsong's face.

I feel a little sick trying to read it, because it seems so positive and that makes me feel like a dupe.

So shell is cracked with ultraviolence...I'll take that as mine this time...now fixing...worldgate opened (it's black hole based, which is why even the Real Big Huge Club can't help me with it)...victory the eagle has landed, celebrate that, go out there and party with Boobsong.

Do I have that right? Yes.

I mean I don't see what any of that has directly to do with this, but I suppose if I don't trust the Dreams to tell me the truth about whether there's more lies ahead why would I trust them with my backup promise. Finding another way out is really all there is to do. Which puts us right back where we were, so I don't see why you asked for that so importantly, dolly? Asking wiht actual tender curiosity?

Just listen through all of this your Boobsong begs. The Dreams said no because it is just done. Spiking you out of your Keeper's hold isn't how they would save you. They would say you can count on it not being like that, or that they saw this promise is fake. They would already have spiked you out of this way before this one if there was another way! Fairies who get lied to hearts just die so if the Dreams let this happen it's a big big thing. Why didn't our seed-ghost explain hard stuff is next instead of just doing it, your Boobsong is asking you with her heart whited out pain PLEASE don't explode she's begging you to see love here!

Our seed-ghost tries to cut in. Pizzamance me hard if you weren't done, dolly.

You would have said it's dark and upsetting and stopped there. You had to keep going or you would have exploded and killed yourself.

Your seed-ghost is promising you this is really the end of the journey to drill out the heart-stop that was destroying you.

It is promising you this was the last time it will tell you this is over when there is still more left.

It is promising you there are no more poison apples in your journey plans. No more of these seeing-stops that tear your eyes. No more companions who are not your friends.

It is promising you that your heart-stops are just dreams. You were not made to suffer or destroy yourself.

Your journey starts here in the pizza shop your arrived at in search of food to remind you of Tuchyuh's bread that at Strawberry Home you enjoyed as a comforting escape from your tears in the court.

If he can take it and he knows--

I guess he must because he's--he's--so gentle--movie theatre, hammer, top of a clipboard, corn, Walt-W.

Daddy's been watching, he says to trust them, he'll still be watching, signing off. It's heart-sounds again that's how he talks so I don't think he was sending those exact images but that's what he says. The Dreams say I had good signal.

Daddy if you're reading this I hope this wasn't too hard for you. I didn't know who else to ask.

Put...Boobsong on? Dolly? Click, out to daddy.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU AVEH YOU JUST SAVED THIS BOOBSONG'S LIFE WITH THAT!!! WALT DISNEY YES WE WILL WHEN WE GET BACK OUT YOU'LL SEE BEST FUN YET!

I'm so stupid. Sorry, dolly, of course you wanted to talk. I...I'm not sure I know how to talk heart sounds but [THANK YOU SO MUCH] and [I LOVE YOU].

Then he--I can't write it down, it's too much, but. I needed to hear that. So much. So much crying.

Wait, Avocado--OH MY FUCK HOW SELF CENTERED CAN I BE! HI KIDDO! LOVE YOU MUCH! Our seed-kid speaks in heart-sounds too of course. They says I can put the gun down and they're watching too. Tell them hi, dolly, Dreams please spike if this is too much for them, click!

SEED-KID MUAH LOVE YOU MUCH! TAKE GOOD CARE OF AVEH HE'S HAD THE BAD WORST TIME. CARINGLY WARM HEARTS!

BWAHAHAHA Avehcado seed oh daddy.

Okay I am writing it down after all. I was just scared because like, it, okay cry if explain um.

He said he's proud to call me his daughter and I make him happy and I'm just as he made me, candy yum bimbo. I saw the light he made me from and it looked like cookie dough, bright sweet goo with dark spots in it.

The gear I've been holding back finally turns, seeing that, and remembering: the worldgate is based on black holes. Antilight and light together making a passable doorway to somewhere or somewhen else, instead of darkness that destroys everything.

If Rada and the Illuminati had gotten their way, even if I could have changed the way they wanted, it would've made it so I couldn't have opened the worldgate at all. Rada must have known that. She did. The Dreams explained it.

She chose trapping six billion people in the hole that became the reset world, over dealing with the awful truth that whether or not there was anything left of daddy in the thing, the mockery of him Eden created out of his still-twitching corpse, it still wasn't right to let it keep doing what it'd been doing.

Heart Home is the name of a heart-shaped house Boobsong and me made when we were little kids, just learning to journey. It's in a place made of floating islands of rainbow-shiny rock with alien plants in the Painted Sea. Rada as Colleen my nursemaid before she was killed by the assassins hired to kill me played with us there.

Then she died, and when she came back to us in America nothing was right anymore. How could we play with her after she sided with the destroy-Rainbow club? That whole thing was over quickly, but it tore at me, to see seven whole grownups with seed-kids from dreamskins of me and Boobsong, one of who was my dead sister come back.

It's the fact that I did see Laarhi again, at Ragnarok, that makes it possible for me to see. The Dreams arranged us the one way we could meet each other, without nightmares for either of us. He had something for me, alright, a spiking bullet--but at least he picked up a rifle. I gave him the only thing I was ever going to: a faceful of antimatter. I was impressed with his courage to see me at all. Would I have seen it if I'd known his name? It doesn't change what I'd do with him. The only choice was still how many megatons. I hope he understands the thing I used to kill him is still just a toy I use to blow off steam and impress my handmaidens. If we'd met any other way, if I'd known who he was...I don't know. It can be over now. I'll never see him, he'll never see me, I finally shot him with the tech he rejected, he I guess stood up to me in battle and found out just how fair a fight between the footsoldier he was and me still just playing videogames could actually be and got his rest. Good for him or something, I don't care and that's the point.

The Dreams gave Rada and me one last chance, when we didn't know anything, to have one good playtime together as we could have. The camp is a translation of Heart Home. Real memories and things from the Strawberry World to the reset world. That's a thing you do as a kid, in our faith. Build a house of everything that makes you happy, however small or trivial. Heart Home is our house, Boobsong and me. We sailed far and fast, had Star Trek fun, and Rada made breakfast for us. It was all nice and fun and it ended when I remembered myself because it had to. I couldn't go back there knowing what I know now, until I got this far, and even then, maybe I can't. That's the gear that's turning now, the lock that's clicking shut forever.

The truth is, she never did come back. I got to see that with my own eyes today. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and my heart skips a beat (or will when bullet-time ends) to feel the healing soaking in anti-light like the fluid blackness I poured out for the Erosion Nightmare Beam as I accept it, but my sister didn't come back from being killed that way. She was a ghost. She's still dead, haunting the same sickly track of trying to make me not see what she has to have seen to about daddy and all of this.

On the other side of her vision quest...is someone else. I met her as she was becoming that new person, as her ghost finally woke up from the nightmare of going on and on, and we looked back for one perfect weekend.

Now...I don't know. It's not written whether we go back. That's the point of this time-crossed thing, it's an open door. I can't imagine how the person who'd damn a world the way Rada did, because who we met that day, so the Dreams showed me it start to happen. That was a huge moment, falling into that recursive egg thing that was a reminder of the lies that wall Earth in, when I was angry to see that again and didn't know why, and she said then let's give you some breathing room so you can really burn.

That alone might be how we ever see her. Either way, it'll be a long time, and we won't be going to see Sis who I knew today or Colleen from Strawberry Home. Maybe there's someone new who can fill that place, there in that camp. Maybe the Camp will be Heart Home, or always was, like my body in doll-form. I want it back. We closed it up and went wandering, abandoned our home in paradise, when she was killed. I want it back now, but I don't know how we can ever go back without drowning in the grief of her death.

I guess now it might be possible to swim in the sea of grief understanding she's truly dead. Yes, someone's walking around out there, or sailing, I don't know, with her face and name, but I tried this with daddy. I tried so hard. I smashed so many black mirrors in frustration trying to bring my daddy back out of the nightmares and madness Eden turned him into I've lost count. Big ones and small ones. I can see the mosaic floor of some place in Strawberry Home or whatever in front of my face with the shards of obsidian everywhere like a wall in front of me six inches away because I'm on hands and knees screams. I'm small and wearing clothes, a kid. The pieces of black mirror are like half an inch thick. Did I fail to see the love? Get spiked, Rada. There's me failing to see the love. A six year kid had the strength to smash that thick-ass piece of rock because she could see her daddy and couldn't save him from the nightmare he was stuck in. I'm fireproof and can burn universes now, but I'm only as strong as any other big strong Chyajjoh, and then I wasn't even dragon-bit. Just an angry kid.

A kid that age shouldn't be able to understand that killing somebody might be the kind thing to do. I'm pretty sure I did though. I wish Rada ever had.

Now the kind thing to do is let Rada be dead. We're not hoping eagerly for her return, because I don't have a sister to come back. May the ghost become a person, someday.

I won't blame her if it takes a while. I think the dead can't come back, mainly, because it's not like that scene in the Transformers movie where Ultra Magnus gets blown up and the Junkions fix him and he's just okay. You come back screaming in the agony you were in when you died. At least that's been my day. I hope there's a good time on the other side, but it's been hell getting there.

I'm sorry about Isht Visht, dolly. I hate how this works here.

This is the best we can hope for. Maybe someday now we see our seed-kid. Your Boobsong is heart-dying to say these words but her daughter got killed by Rada's insisting on trying to make you bright without darkness shining too.

There's the straw we take fitting ten million, but ten million one and heart just bursts. Rada did ten million fifty this time.

Yeah. If only it could be some other way, but it isn't.

I remember, as the gear turns and the lock closes and it's over, what that blue and gold flag was I kept seeing. I thought that was the hem, but it's the whole thing, gold bottom and blue top. It's Ukraine. Russia's gunnery target, yes, but more importantly, Chernobyl is there.

People said all kinds of stuff about my black halo and antilight. Dirty, corrupting, bad emotions, sickness that stars get (heart-healing on that one), things like that. I was insulted, so I went and showed them what antilight is, pure and by itself, without even the structure of candy it powers.

Chernobyl is radioactive. So what, I put out hypergamma that can get so hard I have to shine it in a universe with a faster speed of light than Earth's to reach that frequency without bouncing off the planck length. A little normal gamma is nothing to me. Nectar gets rid of heavy metal poisoning like it was never there. I took a walk there, right up to the concrete tomb the poured over the reactor core. Melted a hole through, saw the cool radiation-powered mold inside, burned it all clean with a blast of real radiation so it wouldn't taste bad, and then dipped myself a million-degree hand (to melt it free) full of core-slag for bubblegum while I did my work.

Antilight pulls normal light in. That's how my candy works, and that's how I can make black holes. Yes that breaks all kinds of rules. It's an alien thing from another kind of reality. I'm not from around here.

Can you see it yet? Heh.

It'll pull normal light in, starting with the highest energies. Carefully dosed, I can choose which ones.

This is the thing that enrages me about human understand of light and dark and anti-light. There's light that's too bright for humans to bear, but they think intensity when they hear that, not frequency. Lumping those together obscures that the poison, corrupting, destructive light, is the brightest. That's what I made Laarhi sick with. That's what Chernobyl was crawling with, and getting much much worse with every bubble of evil bubblegum I blew. That's just light. Electromagnetic radiation following the normal rules everyday stuff on Earth does.

I poured out antilight, and it soaked it all up. Pulled it off to nowhere, into the darkness it was shining with. My Lens can make my light come out not just from my body, but anywhere, for a long way around me--this is astral tech, remember. Think light years, not miles. I used it to get all the nooks and crannies, and inside rock and stuff. No need for fancy shapes, just "fill this sphere with antilight". I wiped out every high-energy photon in Pripyat and Chernobyl and a long way around, without harming anything, even though I pulled hard enough to decay everything fissile to non-radioactive byproducts in a few moments--it'll do that, antilight, find energy and pull it out. I can pull so hard matter just vanishes, that's how I make unwanted candy go away.

But if I'm careful, I can turn a three-hundred mile radius (could have been a lot more), into a place scientists flock to, so they can see what happens when the background radiation from the bedrock is ten times less then the rest of the planet.

I only did that there, because I wasn't sure it wouldn't screw up the ecosystem, not to have that background.

That's antilight. There's your destructive mean and nasty darkness.

My name's not Rainbow Bright-Starshine, but there's no good way to say it Englishly. I'm trying to remember what we did do. Ultrabrilliance, from the name daddy called me, doesn't me over-bright, it just means lots of light. Which might be anti-light.

Daddy calls himself Inhale-Exhale, but as a single sound. I riffed on that. What was it. My Rainbow thing with a black stripe in the rainbow, is what my stockings say--

[!] What did the Color Crack turning-on saying use to describe this?

Um...was there like a rhyme? Rainbow heart, breathe in dark, glow it black, form color crack!

Yeah, that gets heart healing. Wow lots of it.

Rainbow Darkshine.