66 - Who's Your Mama
"Ooh how about merciful sweet kumquat muffins under a broiler turned up to high for an eon?"
If she does these to lighten the mood, it fucking works.
"Merciful sweet kumquat muffins under a broiler turned up to high for an eon, not the chosen one thing again! Mama...I don't think I want to know!"
I bite my lip and try to be pathetically cute, show my remorse at asking so urgently and then not wanting the answer.
Mama pats my thigh, making me shift happily and holy fuck that is comforting--my hands have been awkwardly idle while Lyra feeds me? Self! They have things to do, that's why the game has this rule! I immediately put one on Lyra's thigh. I want Mama too but I still don't quite get it about touching her and now isn't the time to figure it out.
HHaaah thigh squeeze Mommy it's scary I see you I'm here though I'll help!
"I think you should take it, cumswallow. It'll make you feel better to know and stop wondering. You're just a sweet kid from Stamford, that's what your life is. Nothing strange or top secret. Are you sure you don't want me to tell you?"
"Lucy I promise it's not something bad like you're thinking. I think you should listen. You won't regret it, I promise!"
"You know I almost didn't let you guys tell me the prophecy?"
"Boobsqueeze, why would you not want to hear it?"
Why indeed. I stare a my plate, and Lyra's hands poised by it, for a while. I don't have an answer, just pain and hate.
"I really don't know--no, I do know. All that stuff about my parents not seeing me and stuff, while we were falling? That was my life. I just can't take one more...one more wrong this from them."
I gesture to my beautifully, stupidly painted face.
"It's worse that they meant well. I can't even hate them, because they tried, but even if they had known I'm a girl I don't think they could have even got in the same room as this, let alone seen it in their kid and actively helped that kid find it in a world like Earth. I just don't think they have it in them and maybe they got better and maybe they saw me in the new timeline none of that's the point the point is even though they weren't bad about the whole thing where like every parent is supposed to do cosmically some version of this for their kid the stuff they had to give me just isn't who I am and even if they so happen to get it right this time or understand me now and get it perfectly right forever more it doesn't matter. I just saw their life before we sat down here and it was so good to see and know they're happy and being themselves but...my dad was sailing with his brother in his khakis and captain hat and my other mom was planting tomatoes and they were having this big clambake for a family reunion and OH MY GOD do I violently not belong in that life. Heritage and tradition and where we all came from were so important to us all and to me too like there's a reason this house is practically built out of my favorite memories but...I want so much more of this from you guys--"
I gesture again.
"--but it has to be from you guys and it has to be, I don't know you made me wet okay that was hot and like I felt so much fun because I could kind of see how you were having a good time seeing what I could wear and who I might be able to be in our family and if this past life whatever can fit that then fine make me wear it or don't like you were just doing all this makeup to me but it has to be like the makeup you have to put it on because you think it would be fun and maybe suit me or maybe make me look stupid in a way we'll all have fun with like I SO AM right now and not because it's my past or it belongs to me or it has something to do with my other mom that I capital Need To Know to Understand My Family or any of that stuff. I love them I do but this is the family I need to define me now and I'm totally wet for that as I'm sure you can tell but it has to be you guys--no I can explain it even better."
"In the visions from changing history I saw us going to two housewarming parties. I guess for this place and my parents' place in Isla Virgo or wherever and like my parents came so we were all wearing clothes because...obviously probably. I had this black satin slip-dress with stars and--"
Stars with stars--my brain hard-freezes, but the game isn't doing anything it tells me with a quick tiny Knowledge:. Nothing will happen, my heart skips a beat, my hands are all tingly, and I'd feel like my stomach was doing somersaults if I still had one. Mama puts a hand over my hand, and leans her head against me, then says:
"Klapta, vash arnnt micta boobsqueeze. I know you speak Infernal, Lyra, I'm not hiding anything. That's an order I have saved up from a very long time ago for a special occasion."
Mommy that means give you the bag from the drug room. I think that means a drugstore Mommy Infernal idiom says room for a place where you buy things. I don't understand, Mommy, why do they have a bag from a drugstore?
Isht Visht opens a door out of nothing, reaches inside, and pulls out--yes it's a drugstore bag but how the hell did Mama get a bag from LaVerdiere's in Presque Isle half a mile from Plowstar, let alone find it thousands of years ago the way the Infernal seems to imply, and why would she save the order for a special occasion? What the fuck can possibly be in this bag?
She walks around the table leans down to hand it to me, and I enjoy the touch of her fingers as--the game lets me take this!? Maybe because I was touching my family?
I put a hand down to Lyra's thigh--lean into me, Cocksleeve, yes I am terrified I need my cuddlybutt--and set the bag on the table in front of me to look in it. The game keeps on letting me touch this, and it's strange to be able to do this mundane task without needing Lyra's aid. Inside the bag--oh my god, what is this!?
Gasp Mommy that's beautiful!
I squeeze Lyra's thigh and let go, the better to get it free of the bag, and her inescapable leash is a solid comfort between us even as she keeps trying to burrow into my side.
For a long time I just stare, turning it this way and that, watching it catch the light.
It's an actual Fairy tiara. There's nothing else it possibly can be, not even just crown jewelry from a very rich kingdom. It sparkles like the paint on my face, light catching every part of it. Pink and white diamonds cover everything that isn't leaves made of silvery-gold like the corset, and in the front at the center a gem-covered brilliant-red strawberry with pretty green emerald leaves shines like a beacon, as loud and bombastic as I am.
How the hell, what the fuck, how's this possible?
Ambivalence boils. I want this. I'm angry because strawberry cum is my thing not some family heritage even if putting it on my cum turns out to be my innovation. I weepingly want to put it on and be an actual real live princess whatever that could possibly mean. I hate the idea of feudalism. It's so beautiful, and so me.
"I don't understand," I breathe.
"That floated up to my dock while I was polishing Isht Visht. I had to find out about it, you can imagine! That was before even my playworld teaching-time, let alone hunting virgins and TRAIN. Boobsqueeze when I learned who your mother was I had my first heart attack, almost literally. Her country passed power from mother to daughter, and when she died, that was the end of their country. The line of succession is broken, but here you are anyway--boobsqueeze don't panic let me finish first!"
Dizzy, I try to steel myself but don't know what to feel. I manage to nod a little.
"That means that this is yours, not that you have to go rule it! The strawberry hair your whole family has is why the country made strawberries their national symbol. Your hair is light now but you still have some pink in it--nectar made it literally strawberry! Strawberry sugar cum, that's just obvious. I can't say why, but your cocksleeve's nectar found some kind of identification in this for you. I think you could be trying hard to believe that we're playing a prank on you, but I promise you boobsqueeze from the depth of my heart cocksleeve I'm being true with you. This bag came to me--yes the bag was what floated it--ten minutes after I came back from implanting Klapta here. Ten minutes. Another ten minutes, and I would have taken her up the shore to fuck her! Boobsqueeze how did LaVerdiere's get back in time and pick up the crown that your mother had when she ruled the strawberry-haired dynasty and land in my playworld and float up to me? There must be something connecting it to the game Lyra made, but the only thing I've known all this time is it came to me purposefully, and LaVerdiere's must be important. That kind of plastic bag doesn't exist outside places like Earth, and only two more worlds have them as thin as that. The words blew me out of my cockpit especially, because Romanic characters wouldn't exist for a long time, so I couldn't decode what they meant until Earth came under the Roman empire, and I still couldn't read the word that was just the name of a family! That bag drove the interest in Earth I share with my Klapta here just by being mysterious! I'm very, very glad it did Klapta with strawberry fun all over you, because I would never have found you without it, but what in the world is LaVerdiere's, Cumsquish? Can you tell me? I didn't ask your Earth mother, because the Dreams warned me against it."
Tangled emotions paralyze me. I set the crown aside, and pick up the bag, smooth it out, look at the LaVerdiere's logo, remembering driving up there with my mom at odd times for milk and orange juice.
"This is Zelda, right cocksleeve? You modeled your game especially on Zelda 3?"
"That's what I remember Mommy but remember I perfectly confused myself so I could play with you."
"Hey Isht Visht, it was a dark and stormy night in Hyrule."
"Lucy what are you--oh my god Captain it's the message from Zelda telling you where to come rescue her from because actually you're the Hero of Time! Wake up, Link! Good one, sis!"
Complicated emotions I can't understand paralyze me like on the stairs, but I can't feel any grain of cold.
"Mama this bag and crown are your map to me. Princess this way, you know you want one. LaVerdiere's is the convenience store near where my family lived when I was little. I'm sure it came up if you talked to my parents, our farm called Plowstar, I bet they're still sad about selling it. It told you right where I lived, but it did it so the route you would take to get to me would make it so I could fall in love with you and Isht Visht in like five minutes as soon as the prophecy got me to see you were into me...but if you want trophies Mama hell yes I still wanna hang up for you to appreciate but you frame this and put it up and look at it with pride because you spent twenty thousand years earning it and it says you're Rada, heroine of Earth, just as sure as Link having the Master Sword makes him the hero of Hyrule--it's just you understand what no story about saving the world ever seems to, which is that the important thing about any world is the people in it. You spent forever saying you did understand that with your actions, Mama. Be proud, and take this, because it's for you and always has been, and even if we were on Earth it'd be a million times more precious than this crown."
I slide my hands under the flattened-out bag, and present it to her.
"Thank you for saving Earth for me--no, listen, yes I just nuked it if that's what actually happened which you'll forgive me having a hard time with--yes I just nuked it, but without seeing it through Isht Visht and your eyes, I know what I would have done was march Lyra down to some part of Rl'yeh Sade where it's never even been heard of and muddled through until I'd learned Infernal and forgotten English and just stuffed the whole entire life Lyra and I lived there away and tried to pretend it never happened. You guys showed me there could be anything good about the place I came from, that even somebody who came from a place as beautiful as that place with the lanterns in the intro sequence--that's your childhood home, right Mama?--could appreciate Star Trek and junk food, and I had to look at it with your eyes and see there was good in with all the horror and evil. I stabbed a million billion holes and cut it to ribbons, but if that did anything at all how unlikely is it that without your showing me what you I have I wouldn't have just done a repeat of my performance with Eden's Unicron room? You heard me, I said it needed to burn, and yet that's not what I did. Maybe the Dreams would have stopped me, but then what? It stays standing? That's not better! Lyra's the one who got me into Limbo and made the game that saved our asses while we were there, and brought me safe to the raft you picked us off, but she's a book I can read how I want and I would have never cracked the chapters on Earth if it wasn't for you. Thank you for saving me from that. Thank you for saving me from missing out on my seedling, and this amazing world of pleasure. Isn't that like the main thing you were trying to do the whole time? This bag is your trophy of that now, of me saying on behalf of all the virgins you helped, thank you for opening this door for us."
Mama looks at me with an expression I think is just trying not to cry as I talk, and slowly, carefully takes the bag and hugs it to herself.
Yes Mommy that's why my game made you her Little and her your Big I know that was so selfish of me Mommy but I just couldn't help it I had so many things I knew you could take them but not if she didn't come help you to see what you would miss otherwise and you're my heartformer Mommy if those chapters are in me it must be because you would like them if only you could become able to see how much you would enough to read from those pages of me and enjoy them.
If that's what you did move whatever you have to and get up on the table in front of us and kneel there and forget about my waffles for a minute. I'd ask if you just made sure we would be happy like this but I know who you are enough to know the answer is yes already.
Eee you're pleased with it I can see you Mommy that makes me so happy! I thought my being selfish might ruin things because I'm a cocksleeve and I like to just please you so it felt very weird to be selfish and I wondered if it was not myself and how could--Mommy I'm a really stupid dumb cocksleeve aren't I.
Get up on the table move juice and toast and mugs with hot drinks to make space and kneel in front of Mommy and Rada. Face surrender eyes down your cocksleeve is presented.
I see you wondering Mommy I think I'm stupid because I was afraid that being selfish wasn't being myself because I'm your cocksleeve and I was making a game for you that to be right had to be made by your cocksleeve which meant not being myself while I was making it would ruin it but if I was selfishly making a game the way I wanted it for me and I'm your cocksleeve then of course I should be selfish I know I like to please you more than anything so how else could I make sure my game was right than by being the wettestly horny cocksleeve that ever dripped on her cushion?
Mommy please may I very respectfully thank Rada for helping me have my heartformer enjoying me totally? That's why you put me up here, right?
Yes, do it.
Ulp here I go eep. Deep breath.
"Rada you gave me my Mommy back when Earth took her away from me by making her sad so she couldn't appreciate good things about it like pizza and chocolate cream cupcakes. Thank you for making me have her entirely enjoy every part of me instead only the pages I don't have any Earth on."
"You two would fry lightning! Holy blueberry pancakes in a pepper mill I was already crying, Lucy! I would say that you're welcome and you certainly are welcome but that just makes this seem like it's just me accepting your thanks for waffles and toast and hot milk drinks! Lucy this bag has been haunting me for a lifetime, knowing it must be significant, but I never thought it would be this! I'm taking this up to my bedchamber--Klapta, store it until we get done eating."
Rada holds it away from her chest just a bit like she doesn't want to let go of it, and Isht Visht puts it back into the hyperspace cupboard.
"Boobsqueeze if that was a convenience store, what kind of things did your family buy there? Was it cookies and cake, or silly toys and amusement, or practical things like food and fresh water? I think it's significant why it's a bag from LaVerdiere's because everything else in this game seems to be like that."
The spread all around us. "Oh my--" It's hard to keep a straight face so I don't. "Holy spiking clitwaffles, it was milk and...eggs, mostly."
I pick up the crown again, look at it against the much better backdrop of Lyra's spread-to-make-room-for-my-waffles thighs.
"Why would Lyra's nectar make me a strawberry? Could it have known who my Earth mom was?"
My heart still boils like an angry sea, but I think I can see the shape starting to surface--
"Did you guys just see that? The Dreams just showed me a green checkmark and red X at once, what could that--oh. They're checkmarking Lyra's nectar turning me into a Strawberry, and saying no it didn't know who my Earth mom was.
"I saw it Mommy and not just through your eyes the Dreams showed it to me too."
Top, Don wedding gown and get makeup and hair style with crown and sceptre, Happier ending than last
Knowledge: these are the makeup and hair style, my strawberry hair and face paint. The sceptre isn't my eravahk, and I haven't found the wedding gown either.
Game are you telling me privately for a reason?
Knowledge: yes, to give me the chance to share it dramatically. This isn't a secret and it can't be held back if I choose not to share it.
Because then I'll be playing noncompliantly because I can't see how this does anything but totally destroy all the stupid fun bimbo work we've done to say nothing of stealing away lots of freedom even you don't take from me that I use to be close with Lyra and you'll call my Mama to help me, right game?
Knowledge: Isht Visht is who it would call in this case, but Rada would know right away because of their nakedness.
Why Isht Visht? Does it help me to know that? Game I'm trying but this just looks like a shinier one of my dad's clerical collars to me.
Knowledge: her understanding of who she is would remind me of myself. Isht Visht views herself as Rada's protector like a watch-dog, and one of the things she watches for is falling into the trap of making everything life-and-death serious. That's why her bad jokes and breakfast swears matter so much in her eyes.
There are limits though--fuck this lets talk to my family. My heart's not really in it, but I try to give it some of a me spin:
"Alright, hang onto your tits everyone, because now this has a green checkmark and is part of one of my Goals System goals...and you guys, I'm really not doing good with this."
"Why, boobsqueeze, what's the matter?"
"You gave me the strawberry makeup, and this crown, because you think I should pick up this whole strawberry dynasty thing, right?"
"Boobsqueeze we gave you that makeup because we thought it looks funny-hot on you. No other reason, I'm serious!"
"You knew, though, didn't you? About the strawberry dynasty thing? Maybe you can separate that, you're twenty-seven thousand years old. I might, but now this crown is here and...why send this in particular? How can this say anything but for me to not think of my strawberry thing as just a coincidence? Is it just what it took to hook you, Mama? I don't believe there isn't something else that wouldn't have made you just as curious without making me feel like I just lost all the freedom I've gained through all of this."
"Boobsqueeze why would this take your freedom away? The country is gone even before Lyra's game gave that to me--it took your Earth mom a very long time to be born after her last life!"
This time at least the hate crumples into pathetic sadness before anything dramatic happens, and I burst into tears.
"I'm trying you guys but I can't see this I just don't understand!"
Cocksleeve I need you hug me somehow figure it out.
Coming Mommy! Jump down beside you snuggly pour into your lap with shapeshifting to get around the table.
Lyra flows into my lap and solidifies hugging me tight, fitting somehow even though I'm pulled up to the table, and my tears become giggles.
"What are you doing?"
"You said hug by figuring out my way so I shapedshifted between the table and you. I squish around it, see?"
"Oh my god. Good cocksleeve. I needed that."
Stroking head pleased with me yay!
Her being there jams the leash into my cleavage, a happy reminder of--
"Isht Visht, we need the prophecy. The--cocksleeve what part was that even from that we just did?"
"Mommy that was panel four with the warning to Eden."
"What's going on, pussywet?"
The monolith appears on the table in front of us, panel 4 facing us.
"There. Lyra and I just did this part right before we came into the kitchen, Mama."
Out of the fire she will strike with lighting and thunder into the reachest expanse to one last release of her ender.
"Out of the fire she will strike with lighting and thunder--that's me, notice it says lighTing not lightNing and thunder. My fire was out, I struck at Earth, I used my light to do it, my heat made thunder because of the exploding rocks. into the reachest expanse--the reachest expanse is the distance between me and Lyra when I'm reaching for her and I haven't touched her yet except we're not the only ones who feel that way and that was the feeling I targeted to know where to stab Earth. to one last release of her ender--Like Ender's game, I thought Lyra was just my imaginary friend but she's totally real, and we were going to do this scene coming into the house where she had to be in the other room for a second--"
"Captain hold me please."
"Yeah, that was about our response the second I took her leash off. Like, the reachest expanse was there between my hand and her neck. It made me realize some stuff. I'm not sure how much to tell because I don't know what's important, but I ended up making the leash almost-permanent instead of doing the scene. ANYWAY what I'm thinking is maybe the prophecy will make some sense of this? See game I'm trying!"
Then next line is equally doomful:
Her fury will rise up and strike the very last hope of Earth's not exploding out of the sky, and her heart will attack the final release valve with every last stake you laid on her shoulders, to be made into the pyre on which she will burn up your ransom and demand a full refund of your passion fruit taking from out of the depths of your files.
New tears fill my eyes.
"I am such a bitch."
"Why, boobsqueeze, what do you see in that?"
"My game won't let me and it's so right. Please you guys, I can't see this. I just know it's next after making my leash--wait! ARGH I didn't finish telling you! Okay I have a goals system goal to don a wedding gown and get make up and hair style with crown and sceptre. I have the hair style and make up and crown now but not the wedding gown and the sceptre isn't my eravahk. Out of the depths of your files Mama have you got anything in your stuff that might be a Strawberry Dynasty wedding gown? And sceptre, maybe? Like, that might be the full refund, it sounds hell of doomful, but maybe it's just saying I have more inheritance you don't know is mine? Maybe something happens if we at least let me see them all?"
Playing with prophecy and my family warms my heart some and I've been itching to know what Mama makes of it all, though it still looks to me like I'm going to end up frying the crown.
"Boobsqueeze I'd give any Strawberry Dynasty artifacts I had to you, but I can't give you something that never existed! The Strawberry Dynasty didn't wear gowns to their weddings, because they got married naked! I guess you could say you're already wearing it!"
She elbows me, amused, and I heh--oh my god--
"Klapta, might something you remember be a Strawberry Dynasty eravahk?"
"I'm looking Captain...guys wait I found something it's not a care-stick though! Okay so files, right? Lucy the SCP Foundation wasn't invented when you came here but it was a collaborative fiction wiki where people would tell ghost stories about dangerous magic stuff. The format was files! Guess what I found in the fi-iles! Every skip which is how they say SCP in the fandom has a number. If you guys are us, Lucy, what number am I thinking of right now?"
Her voice takes on a husky Valley-boy sound. Cocksleeve I need a stereo partner.
"Ex-actly. THERE ARE TWO FILES WITH THAT NUMBER IN THE WIKI! One of them is the real SCP-069 which even for ghost stories about magic artifacts is pretty heavy it's this ghost that takes over dead people and gets their life in order and then kills itself. Right? AAH! I was like wait, Lucy's whole thing is supposed to be not taking herself seriously what if there's a joke SCP and sure enough there is and like it's so. applicable you guys seriously listen. SCP-069-J appears to be a commercially produced software disc...it's a DATING SIM of the whole mythology of the SCP foundation! Like seriously the X-FIles is a comedy show compared to the SCP wiki. The SCP wiki s SO SERIOUS AND DEPRESSING but the dating sim in SCP-069-J is adorable! Lucy I don't want to beat you with chainsaws here but isn't that the exact problem your having? Like is this crown the joke SCP or the real SCP? Do you have to kill yourself getting the Strawberry Dynasty's life in order, or is the point to make a horny dating sim out of the whole idea? I think we know the answer!"
Top, Don wedding gown and get makeup and hair style with crown and sceptre, Happier ending than last
Out of the table between Lyra's black wings a point of light sparkles. It floats up to eye-level and turns pink like the gems on my crown, zooms out through the windowpane, flies off into the rainstorm...and returns carrying a book. Somehow this phases through the window-glass like Ensign Ro and Geordi in that one episode, and the book settles to the table in front of me. Porn is a perfectly fine thing to give me, but why--ooh:
Strawberry Tales: Myth and Legends of the Strawberry Dynasty
The cover is pink sparkly leather with silvery-gold filigree and embossed golden lettering, with a highlight around the art that made me think porn initially made of ribbon sewn into the leather--white with gold trim, just like my leash ribbon. Inside the ribbon, the Strawberry Queen relaxes on a bed made of silvery-gold embroidered white silk wearing only a smile and...my strawberry makeup.
A gold-and-white ribbon sticks out of the pages at the bottom, enticing me to open the book to that place, and it can't possibly be placed randomly.
This is one of those moments...I want to ask all different things, but I mustn't. The point of the two SCPs (oooh because SCePtre) is to get me to make a decision: that by donning the crown that's come to me by this insane route, the legacy I'm taking up is the pornified version in this book, probably inspired by the real family being famously horny enough to somehow (it has to be) inspire Betazed's wedding traditions, not the real history, regardless of who I may or may not know who was there for the "proper" history.
I have that goal where I have to design a wedding gown that has to meet sluttiness standards, and that, I decide, will be what tells me if this crown is a keepsake or part of my outfit. Are you up to the task, pornified Strawberry Dynasty? Manage to be horny enough and I might just wear this crown proudly.
Cocksleeve, beside me again, it's storytime--the Strawberry Dynasty is going to have a happier ending than its last one.