39 - Tractor Beams

New tears, laughter, and memories all mix up as I look at the set.

There, in a box big enough for Lyra to curl up in like a cat once we get it open, is a Technic model of the Massey-Ferguson tractor my parents used to make hay when they ran the sheep farm that made it possible to keep the pony I actually got. I used to play under its wheels when it wasn't being used, or stare for hours trying to wrap my five-year-old mind around the functions of the--slip, argh not even technical terms!?--the stuff on the exposed engine. When we had to move to the city when I was five, I was almost as heartbroken to never see it again as my pony.

Almost.

Anyway I can at least rely on not encountering any madness around ponies capable of being noticed beside Lyra's shapeshifting DREAMS THAT ISN'T A CHALLENGE THIS TIME GAH!

It really is perfect, though. There are even square-bailer, rake, mower, and backhoe attachments--

"Wait, how is this Lego? Nothing has knobs!"

Mommy it's technic sizes though see? They just made the beams flat now.

All the overwhelming insanity melts into the distance as the pictures on the box absorb me. Did they manage to fit a functional bailing mechanism into the bailer? The "sharp object" warning icon by the age rating, does that mean the mower actually cuts? The backhoe does seem to be power-operated, but where are the pneumatic hoses? Are those RJ45 plugs hanging off it?! Twelve motors--and they come in sizes now? "Technic hubs"? What's Bluetooth?

Alright, game, show me you're serious about this toys only thing. I haul the humongous box into my lap to look inside the--huh. No window, just more pictures? Fine--slip.

Okay, what the fuck game. I can pick up Legos, but not open them? This isn't even like a sex toy, it's just a toy toy. I already feel j--slip--childish just looking at it.

Mommy the age range is older than you! Twenty one to ninety nine!

"Wait, what? Hey!"

Slipslipslp. I still can't do anything to open it.

"So what, do I have to wait until I can drink? See if you can open it. Shapeshift yourself some claws if you have to."

Rrraah SHING! Now I can cut it neatly. Slit. Other side. There. Keep claws?

"You are so cute. No, your normal fingernails back."

Yes Mommy fingernails unshing.

Lash tail looking at box.

Maybe the game just wanted that to happen, because it would have been too adorable to miss? I open the flap of the box and reach inside, find the box full up with numbered (!) bags of red and white and gears Technic--is that an odd-length axle? In brown?

Knowledge: Lyra has to help me with things where I need a tool she can be for me without making me not have her present in girl-form, as long as that doesn't take away my chance to creatively express myself directly. Opening a box isn't creative, and she could make claws to slit the tape my fingerbang-optimized nails no longer have the length or sharpness to cut.

Wait, huh? I look at my hands. Sure enough, my nails are cut far back behind the tips and filed smooth and round so the edges shine.

"...hey. If I'm a girl I want nail polish! Game I want nail polish!"

Knowledge: Girl cosmetic supplies are in the bathroom where I'd expect them to be. I can't do my own makeup, but Lyra can follow my instructions and has excellent skills and creativity.

Ohhh sneaky. Game I can't choose my clothes I know, but can I choose jewelry? Tattoos and stuff?

The game makes a ring of purple fire float in front of my eyes for a moment.

I shake with laughter for a moment. To hell with clothes! I'll go naked forever as long as I can be pretty and sparkly!

"Well played, snuggly."

Blush...it's kind of projecting because that's how I feel Mommy but I thought you might like it too.

Do you mind that I didn't make the corset be jewelry?

"Nooo! I didn't even think of that! Does that mean I can't even try it on? It's so beautiful!"

Knowledge: I can hold it against myself, to see how it shapes on my body, as long as I don't put it on to wear it.

"Why does that feel so kinky."

Mommy it's such a tease! You have the clothing right against you and you still can't wear it! I'd feel really helpless that way.

"HMMM..."

Slip.

Knowlege: the game doesn't let me touch my body in ways that might seem masculine.

Fine, good, but seriously, rubbing my chin?

"You really did take this all the way."

Ulp...yes...Mommy I really did just give it every single thing I could Hyperintelligently think of. I...our seed-ghost made me pretty smart Mommy...

Knowledge: she built everything sweetly and for happiness though because our seed-ghost said when I stopped being sad about Earth being hard for me I would like sexy stuff much better than hard stuff so the game should always be kind and like candy and sweets not hard and mean even though Hyperintelligent Lyra would feel very satisfied playing a game like that.

This makes me smile, but I have to ask:

"Are you very sure you understood just how much of a wuss I am?"

Knowledge: she knew, is very sure, respects me anyway because Fairies can be very easy to make cry and I'm strong that I can keep going through all of these breakdowns and still want to play with her, and can see how hard everything is for me right now and doesn't mind having to help me keep myself upright when I start to get wobbly.

Mommy yes that's how I feel I haven't changed from when I was hyperintelligent. YOU'RE STRONG MOMMY RAAH!

Sobbing, hugging the box in my lap like a shield:

"I still don't understand how this doesn't just make me awful! I know you keep explaining but I just can't get it! Is that part of it? Am I like too dumb now?"

Mommy I think you just haven't processed it yet. Why don't we just build the Legos some?

"Yeah. Good idea."

The game takes my eyes and fixes them on Lyra's barb, then fingertips, then shows me a vision of--

"What's that?"

Orangey Lego knobs and what looks like an axle--

Mommy look.

Point to bag number one it's that.

I pick up the first bag, so far the only one out. Among various unfamiliar beams and familiar cogs (did they get rid of the axle-holes in the large gears? Lame!) is an orange tool like the beam-and-plate contraption all my Technic sets recommend for getting stubborn plates apart and popping out stuck pins.

Nothing but the weirdly-sexy sliding sensation of my clutch slipping happens when I try to open the bag. I can turn it over, push the pieces in it around, but...it responds to my intentions. For the first time I understand what that means, really, and gulp.

Anyway, my fingernails holding the bag are slippery-smooth and the tips of my fingers tenderly soft. I'm not even sure I could open it if the game let me.

Knowlege: the game was keeping me from hurting my fingers when Lyra can easily get the bag open for me. It gave me the vision of the brick separator because to take apart Legos I'll need something like that most of the time now. I can try to separate them myself if I want first but the game will keep me from harming my fingers so I can be ready for playtime and always feel sexy, so I definitely need Lyra to help me with this.

"I'M NOT A BABY," I wail, definitely not making my case, "I CAN TAKE CARE OF MY OWN FINGERS!!"

The game picks my thoughts for me suddenly, to make me work out what it means that I can't make my fingers hurt. That keeps me from doing things like getting CA glue on them making airplanes, prying apart anything if I can't even do Legos--can I even still play StarFox? Making my hand move fast enough to beat the Attack Carrier before it completes its first cycle gives me a sore thumb and aching arms because of how fast I have to press fire. If a keyboard is too unergonomic, will the game keep me from typing on it? This is terrifying! How can I be able to still have my hobbies if Zap can't get anywhere near me? Game please, you're taking parts off I need! How can I be myself like this!?

The game lets my thoughts free, but I feel scared, cl--slip AAAH--boxed in, like I can't breathe.

"Help," I whisper, but I'm not telling her to open the bag.

The game picks my thoughts for me and shows me I'm not understanding that Hyperintelligent Lyra loved me just like she does standing beside me ready to slice the bag open if I even just think it. I can use her like she's a part of me, watch while she does everything for me, even make her guess what will please me and take initiative like I had her doing in Limbo, and she'll happily serve me in everything. What I can't do is treat myself like an old beat up screwdriver that can be used to hammer nails with its handle and pry into machines because one more scratch on it isn't a difference. I'm precious to Lyra and her game will keep me nice and make me feel valuable. That doesn't mean I can never do hard things! I just have to keep in mind that I'm too precious to be allowed to treat myself carelessly, and that my hands are meant to be sex-toys, so they have to stay pretty and clean and undamaged to be nice for that. If I feel like I can't be myself like that and Hyperintelligent Lyra loved me I must not understand. Game what am I misunderstanding?

Its response is a vision, of the fancy hamster cages with tunnels and high little nest boxes and fun things to chew on and rope ladders and mirrors we used to dream of affording for our hamsters when I was a kid. They had everything hamsters could want to be hamsters, but they were perfectly safe. They couldn't really mess up and hurt themselves, no matter what they did.

"So...I can do stuff as long as I don't break myself? What about the stuff where it's unavoidable like I guess sometimes I'm careless but I can't be perfect I'll always get some Zap on my hands--"

Knowledge: the game is designed to take care of me. That's what this message is telling me. If I intend to be careless or harm myself, the game won't let me act on it. If I try something that might have bad consequences I don't realize, the game will save me from harm. If I'm as careful and kind with my own body as Lyra's, the game will let me do most things. I can even be hard on it, as long as the game thinks it's necessary for me to be a whole person, and after I finish the game will make me feel better like I wanted to take care of Lyra after she held my corset. I just can't be needlessly mean or leave marks on it for the sake of destroying the face Earth put on me. I don't have to fight who it wants me to be now, and the game only wants to keep me safe not make me be something I'm not so I can be sure it won't be like having to present as a boy and be hearty and strong for the role the world had picked out for me.

The game moves my free hand to my chest and presses, giving a hug from Hyperintelligent Lyra.

Even more tears well up as I feel her love in it, sweet and cute just like she give now, just with the terrible power she used to make this game behind it now.

I understand the knowledge, see clearly how I've always felt like a precious stained-glass window I desperately want to smash so I can live, how instead of being the next in line to make me Be Good the game is lovingly, kindly, tenderly with a hammer made of candy and chocolate...doing it. I feel smashed into a million pieces because I am, but held here in all of this bondage feeling like I can barely breathe and yet still excited to find out what the next chain the game has for me will do, I'm already more free than Earth ever made me.

I see that, I understand it, but I can't process it.

Which is why I'm still upright at all right now, and why I won't be much longer if I don't do something to process it.

The game lets my hand free of my chest, and I hold the bag out to Lyra--slip!?

Knowledge: To keep the bed always clear for sleeping and sex, the game doesn't let me do anything else near it. I'll have to take the Legos out in the living room to play with them.

"It's so hot when they surprise me like that," I coo. Come on--slip?

Oh. This will be cute. I drop the bag back into--slip. Fuck. It's bag in one hand, box in the other, but of course that isn't the point. Nothing I try that's part of my intention to put the bag away myself will make the slightest thing happen.

"So helpless."  My voice is breathy with lust and the sweet shaky fear that seems to be what air is now. "Put this away and take the box, snugglebutt."

Take the bag from your hand and carefully set it inside. Get my hands down under the bottom and rrrhaaah carry. Ready Mommy.

It's as big as her whole torso, and she can barely see over it, and is cutely overbalanced by the weight. An hour ago I'd have felt bad, but now, having seen it at full shine with the corset, I can see the eager determination on her face and the deep happiness that goes with it.

Can I stand up without anything mindbreaking happening? 

The game directs my attention to my feet, then chooses my thoughts for me. These are the feet Lyra knelt at when I first turned into a butterfly. She knew my metamorphosis was coming. From the beginning. That first moment where I kissed her, she knew this happening was inevitable. That means everything that's happening now was something she at least knew generally would be coming, and she's eagerly charged towards all of this since the moment I laid eyes on her. I may feel strange and like the game's just making me annoying, and I definitely am not the same stoic and silent Soong-android wannabe I was when we started, but I can feel at least some pride that the changes happening to me are ones hyperintelligent Lyra wished for. That will make me feel better walking in front of Lyra, like I was planning to.

"Fuck! Now what'd it do!?"

I do feel a little glow of pride anyway.

Knowledge: the game didn't change anything, it just thought I could use a pick-me-up. There doesn't have to always be something strange happening.

A single deep sob squeezes me.

"It's...just being nice. Like with your sister's message."

Knowledge: the game always tries to be nice to me. It can be scary but my hammer of candy and chocolate idea was exactly how I should think of the game. Sometimes it will be candy and chocolate without the hammer but never the hammer without candy.

"You're sweet," I say to Lyra over the box.

Aww! I love you Mommy! I made my game super yummy sweet and I hope you like candy because I said Mommy isn't a masochist like me and our seed-ghost agreed with me so I tried to make every part of it super kind even when it does something scary.

"You and the game keep on telling me that literally every five minutes like I need to just hear it over and over and you're totally right."

There are about twenty-five feet to the living room. With this little pick-me-up I should make it in, hmm, one and a half existential crises and no more than three nervous breakdowns. With hands on my knees, I push myself upright and set out, tugging Lyra behind me with the leash.

Leash fun following Mommy haaah sexy ass walking.

To my amazement, nothing happens all the way to plopping on the couch and gesturing Lyra to set the box on the Federation-standard glass-and-steel coffee table with my eravahk. Hearing her thoughts and feeling her eyes on my ass even puts a silly little spring in my step--if a bouncy silly Fairy is really what she wanted for a mistress, I'm thrilled to become it.

Box on table.

My clit bounces raunchily between my legs as I walk, hard with all this new helplessness. It's so big now it'll get in the way even more than my boners used to, but--

"Hey, where's my purse?"

The game took it off while you were sleeping, Mommy. It and your commbadge are on the bedside table. Would you like me to fetch them for you?

It's the tiniest heartbeat of indecision--

Knowledge: I'm a Fairy so making decisions can be tiring for me and the game noticed I want it accessible but out of the way so the game is deciding it's going to stand on the table where Lyra can sit on it if I want her to, or bring it to me to play with. The game can take it off for me or I can make Lyra do it, but it's going on the table where the game is is drawing a circle in my vision either way. If I don't make Lyra help, the game will use tentacles to carry my clit to the table, or I can have them hand it to Lyra.

"Tentacles hand it to Lyra."

I mean, obviously, let's get the best of both worlds.

"But game if you're going to use tentacles on me I want you to take me. I want to be held game!"

They felt so good last time...

Lyra-purple tentacles slither out of nowhere around my wrists and ankles, then something soft seems to inflate behind me and the tentacles kindly but unstoppably fold my legs back, bring my arms up so it's like I'm making a hands-up sign, pull them back and arch my back so I'm taut, held off the couch by the softness behind me, totally comfortable but with no slack for anything but squirming, and thrusting with my hips which--

"Noo!" It'd feel amazing to thrust and squirm, but tentacles snake slide around my hips and keep them still when I go to do it.

Knowledge: The game is presenting my clit to Lyra. All I can do is tell her to take it.

Okay but maybe--

Top, Use Lyra to reach orgasm while the game keeps you helpless physically, One use of hand while you're glowing

Yes, exactly! "Sweet! Cocksleeve, take my clit and give it a nice wet kiss hello and stick it on the table--see where?"

I look at the circle the game is drawing.

See what Mommy sees. Yes Mommy. Slink up where you're hanging and sslllide my hands onto your shaft and snuggle right by your body and get ready to keep it from falling.

When she has it, the game puppets my suction-cup muscle to make it let go right away.

Pop! Hehe so kinky. Pick up to my mouth and lick lips at Mommy sssslllurp and kissssss the tip all horny see how much I want this inside me Mommy?

"Aaaahh..."

The game forces my mouth open while she kisses, squeezes the sound of the pleasure out of me full-voiced. I sound like I'm in a porn, but it's not overstated--actually, the weird thing is, sounding the pleasure makes me feel it more. Must be another Fairy thing...

Face my ass toward your and crawl on the table with my cunt nice and wide so you can see while I stick it. Stick!

I squeak with the pleasure of the impact, feel the blushy sudden-boner sensation of the suction cup sticking, and the tentacles put me back in a normal sitting position and set me carefully on the couch.


Turn myself so you can see my side and my pussy. Shake my hips while I check out your clit.

"Holy fuck you're gorgeous. Lick it."

Sqidge down and start at the base with nice wet sloppy tongue liiiiiiiiick hhaah.

"Omigod!" The forced nakedness squeezes this out almost as a scream.

Keep staring maybe you'll make me suck it next.

"You are such a cat--oooh..."

Like the tentacle's embrace the game closes tenderly and oh so comfortingly around my mind until my world consists only of the Legos, and making use of Lyra as I please. I can still imagine making her suck my clit off where it stands, or leaping up to grab her waiting hips and bury my face in her shining pussy, but anything else that isn't building something out of these 4,380 pieces of ABS is a vague something I can hopelessly strain to think of just enough to know how bound I am--and that's what makes it so hot. There was a ton of heavy, overwhelming important stuff happening, I know there was, but there's nothing I can do about any of it now, not even think about it--oh, neat. I can think about how tightly tied up I am. Sexy.

I want to feel that even more. What about--come on it's right there--

"Haah!" With a pleasantly inescapable yank, the game pulls me back to what I'm supposed to focus on.

Knowledge: The game is pleasant and sexy to struggle in for a reason. I should do it as much as I feel like, because it really helps me feel powerless to fight and get nowhere. I can't be bad or uncompliant, not because the game will punish me, but because I don't have the power to do anything the game doesn't let me, so I can enjoy being wiggly without consequences. Now the game will reward me for being wiggly by making my body feel like I've just had an orgasm.

--whoah. It's awesome, relaxing and clearing my head and I sigh deeply, satisfied. The panting happy memory of sex is missing, but that just makes my mind decide that the struggling was that.

It's also useful, because it makes me realize that though the game isn't going to tie me so I can't have Lyra service me, and I'm a few more seconds of watching her stare at my clit and drip from being just as horny as moments ago, the way it's got me held right now says my feeling like the awesome weirdness of watching her go down on my clit where it's stuck to the table while angled perfectly to show me all her best parts (seriously, good job cocksleeve) would be too much somehow is right--I'm going to fry if I don't slow down.

The couch is so comfy. Maybe it'd nice to just sit back and let Lyra...

"Good cocksleeve. Now come here and make a couple of fingers into that brick separating tool and give me the box."

Bye beautiful clit! Turn and sit on the table edge and rrraahh get the box eep heavy hand it to Mommy.

Unboxing a new Lego set is 1000% part of the joy of playing with it, so I can take the box from her, peer inside, and start extracting bags, looking at them, and tossing them to--slip.

I shake my head, laughing, and hand Lyra bag #1.

Take bag--

"Open it and dump out the pieces."

SHING! Slit. Dump them in a pile on the table.

Let's get this going already. Where are the instructions? While she works, I dig into the box, find an inner white box, draw that out sending loose bags everywhere (Lyra will be cute and very sexy finding them all yes I know you can hear this snugglebutt), fail to open it myself.

Aww you gave me a job to do! Yes Mommy just tell me when you need them I'll find every one and bring it in my mouth to you.

Laughing more at her devotion: "Good cocksleeve. Damn right you will. Here."

Slit slit box free would you like me to--nope curious Mommy bwaha now I really have to fetch bags--oh no are your legs okay? That looks heavy!

Dumping the inner box out is fun until seven very dense boxes that look to contain the motors and what really look like RC receivers thud onto my naked thighs followed by the phonebook-ish instructions.

"Oof! Yes, but can you imagine if I still had my clit on?"

Poor Mommy! If you ever get hurt Mommy take nectar it makes pain feel better when the pain isn't something important like spanking.

"Of course that's how it works."

The manual is in a bag, of course. I wordlessly hold it out to Lyra.

SHING!

It wouldn't be right to say I've never built Legos before, especially thinking of how I used the HUGE collection my brothers and I built (which definitely had more than 4,380 pieces in it), but...I've never had a set, even the top-of-the-everything Technic Control Center I got the year before I decided I was too old for Kids' Toys, be more than a bite-size desert I could snarf in a minutes. I've taken on big ideas before, but never been able to combine that with the peaceful bliss of just following the instructions.

Now, it's like I've spent my life running to top of tiny hills and am seeing Mount Everest for the first time...and realizing I've been one very bored mountain goat. As we build, the game does give me just a little bit of conscious processing space beyond the beams and pins in my hands, to understand: this is what it's like to be awesome at something, and finally get to spread your wings. This must be how Lyra felt with the corset.

I've thought I'm good at video games, programming, building airplanes, and I'd like to think I still am if I haven't become too much of a slut to remember how to do them now, but none of those things come with the easy in-my-sleep grace of this, and so I've never really known what it's like to soar without immediately soaring to the end.

We must go for hours, because we build the entire thing in one sitting, and there's a lot of making out to refresh myself, and Lyra sucking tired fingers and massaging aching hands, and she does look so cute fetching me each bag in her mouth and "creatively" opening them with her teeth. The game makes me cry a few times by stopping me and holding me helpless until I decide between making Lyra stretch and massage my tiring hands for me, or having the game puppet me through it (I take Lyra every time of course, and her tender, intent touch fills me with tingles that seem to reach down and massage my heart). It won't even let me get a sore back by hunching over the pieces when Lyra can bring them and hold them and find them for me, so I build in comfort, leaning back on the couch comfily, and she's adorable bounding back and forth between the pieces on the table--her photographic memory makes her an unstoppable piece-finder--and I make sure to encourage her silkily climbing all over me in the process of helping.

Knowledge, the moment I put the final piece in: I'm not going to control this using the application Lego created. The game has something better in store, but I have to find it. Isht Vist is hiding it somewhere. I'll have to find a way to make her tell me, because a Galaxy-class starship has a lot of places to hide something, too many to search in three years of doing nothing else.

Top, Find out where Isht Visht is hiding the game's replacement for the Lego app, Darmok's Dagger

...and the game lets my thoughts free, and I realize I'm so horny I want to scream.

Knowledge: the game has just shown me I need it to take care of me. I almost had sex many times while we were building the tractor, but even with only that option and building, I couldn't change on my own to take care of my need to fuck Lyra. Sometimes it's nice to be like that, but only if I don't do things like this to myself. To help me keep basic needs met, the game will make sure I always take enough nectar or food, and have sex whenever I start getting close to a seizure. I can make Lyra fuck me if I hurry, or interrupt what the game is doing to use her instead if I don't hurry, but when I understand this Knowledge: my body is going to be too horny to wait any longer and the game is going to give me an orgasm. I can be made to have sex, not just be taken by tentacles, and the game has resources for giving me partners I can't even imagine, and the sex will be like nice candy not anything hard for me, and the partner it gives me will have something controlling them to have sex with me like I have with them, so we can relate as we enjoy being sex dolls for each other--my partner and me will be puppeted through the sex totally.

The need is as inescapable as the game's control, wild and explosive like the orgasm I'm about to have one way or another--it almost feels like I already am coming and the orgasm has taken over my body to make me fuck and not just spurt cum everywhere. There's no space to think or give orders. I bound up from the couch, grab Lyra and shove her bent over the table in front of me, paw at her desperately, thrust my hips against hers and whine in frustration when this doesn't plunge my clit into her.

Mommy I see I'm getting it! Mommy let me I can help! Reach GOT YOU!

"AAAH!" I pound, crying with frustration. WHY NOT WORKING?!?! The game puppets my suction cup--yes, HURRY--

Pick up present--no you don't have time stick it under me reach back and put you in my pusssssy ooohh haaah...

"Good cocksleeve," I mewl as the warm slippery kiss of her pussy surrounds me.

See what you're trying you want to pound me YES MOMMY just...get...squish...

Her hips bend against me with impossible flexibility, her pussy kisses, there's something round and hardish in it--

"YES!!!"

YUS HAH STICK

The instant it's connected I weep with relief and then snarl:

"NOW FUCK ME, COCKSLEEVE! HARD!"

WHOAH OOF WWHEEEEHEEEEHEEEEE RRRAAAAAH POUND!! GRAAAH!

That same sexy-voiced girl from the aftercaaare nook is doing a perfect impression of me screaming the pleasure of sex at the top of her lungs again. I lose it, completely, dig my fingers into Lyra's hips, pound my hips against hers as she pushes back against me from the table and arches her back with every thrust so her hips twist and bounce slapping against mine obscenely like she really is made of silicone and her pussy works my cliiit like a ssstrooking...HAAAND...

HAAAAAAH OMIFUCK I FEEL YOUR ORGASM HAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

"AAAAAAH!"

HHAARRRRAAAAH CLENCH!!!

Her pussy tightens around me squeezing nectar slippery between us so she pulls at me but helplessly like a caress instead of a grip, and I wail desperate gasping relief like the crying fits, energy that was going to tear me apart exploding out of me in sobs of pleasure that spurt up my shaft taut with the pressure of not being able to get oout fast enough. Lyra grinds and squirms beautifully, pussy held perfectly still pressed to my mound by my grip that squishes through her soft flesh to feel the hardness of her hipbones under it so close I can keep it from moving at all.

HAAAH...AAAAH....

When finally we're wrung out, there's shaking silence, and I'm still holding her to me as tight.

That was so HOT Mommy! Did you make it so I could feel your pleasure when you came? I felt SO GOOD being used and only just pleasing you! It wasn't like when you let me hold your clit where I felt what it's like to have a clit that's big and be cumming through it spurting cum and it did kind of make me envious not bad just like now I feel that much more cocksleevy every time I see your clit because I know what it feels like and I want you to give me that but I know I can't have it unless you command me and you probably won't very often because this way is so much more fun and I like it Mommy it makes me feel happy to have something I can give up for you to make myself more pleasing for you and I'm explaining how I feel because I think I was making myself focus just on making you feel good and I'm curious if you made something happen to make me feel that kind of pleasure or it's just that I somehow can get pleasure from totally just being a cocksleeve and only thinking of pleasing you like I can obviously but Mommy it was amazing it felt better than my orgasms and your orgasms together! It also happened when I held your corset and you fucked me and all I was thinking was fuck Mommy pleasingly don't drop corset Mommy can bring me off later except actually I didn't think about my own pleasure and that's why I think I have something that makes me feel like that when I really just fuck like a cocksleeve.