36 - The Instructions
Light wakes me up, and the first thing I see is Lyra's peaceful sleeping face shining golden with the dawn.
She's so pretty, breathing soft hot little breaths on my breasts--right, I have those--where we cuddle, still holding my clit that's morning-wood hard like a teddy bear (which is so many layers of weird, but cuter because it's so weird), I can't do anything but just lie there watching her for what feels like hours.
Mmfmm...sleep...snuggle you try closer.
Mommy's awake! Blink sleepy-face hi Mommy!
As soon as I wake up enough to talk, every part of me screams that I need to have sex now, and I feel...full. Overflowing. Cum will leak out of my seams if I move wrong, I think I can taste it in my mouth--I should recognize the taste by now, hehe--
"Oh my god I feel like my whole body's made of cum. So horny."
Complicated feelings bubble, having to put on a show too feels like too much--
The game changes my clutch so I can feel exactly what it's done. Doing anything but making Lyra serve me and expressing myself ung--slip--nakedly will just slip like the big word I tried there.
Knowledge: the game is keeping me expressing myself nakedly while I'm in the cabin with Lyra. I have no need to perform without the Isht Visht and Rada to see me. Now is my time to play for myself. I can be certain that Lyra will like me naked of performing because she genders herself a cocksleeve because she's a toy who feels used and fulfilled best by serving me. Hyperintelligent Lyra made this knowledge but I can ask Lyra now and she'll say the same thing.
Yes I do Mommy I'm a cocksleeve and I want to always please you. I'm not human and I don't need the same things you need just use me to please you and I'll be happy.
Without what the game's been teaching me, I could hear this, and say I believe it, but not understand how pleasing and serving can fill and make someone happy as deeply as they've been making me, how good really just being used can fill. Feel. How you could need to it. How cold and sad you can get inside without it. If Lyra can just do that all the time, that's magical succubus superpower alright but it's just as much for her benefit as having nectar that makes her food hornier and sluttier the more they drink it.
"That must feel amazing. It's definitely going to be amazing to enjoy! Go, hurry, take the wormhole thing off my clit then and be a good cocksleeve and get on and ride me fast until I cum in you. I'm going to roll on my back so watch out and I want a nice bouncy show while you do it."
Mommy I can't find the band! I think it became part of your body--
Knowledge: the band came off in my purse before Rada clothed me. I can use it for anything else I want, and the suction cup works on my mound, it won't feel like I'm wearing my clit like a strap-on, and the game didn't tell me about this until now so I could see how I still can have sex with my clit not attached to me.
"Fine, stick the suction cup on my mound just hurry I'm so horny it hurts literally!"
Eee! Slide down here's breasts now body hi belly now mound take your clit lick the back to be sticky with wet suction cup and STICK! Bwaha bbbbboing hehe I can't wait for that to be inside me!
"Aah!" Lyra's sudden tongue makes me gasp and giggle, it bouncing jiggly after she attaches my clit feels good, and of course the game didn't just make something practical--the suction cup has pleasure like kissing combined with getting a boner suddenly at being attached, and the way it sucks on the real actual outer pussy lips between my legs like its going down on me makes me feel really feminine and slutty and realize that they have pleasure too, kind of like touching the shaft of my clit, but soft and bouncy...big or small words don't make it easier to describe to myself.
I roll on my back so she can ride.
Rrrah throw back the blankets and poing up and climb haaaah sllide HAH yus caught you with my entrance wiggle. mmaaah downnn. onto you hhaaah put my hands up dance on you while I squeeze your hips with my thighs and roooll my pussy back and forth on you...
Her warm wet pussy pulling at me like a loving hand, and her literal dance on it, have me about to cum right away, and I just barely get time to enjoy how she silhouettes against the window b--slip--past the foot of the bed and the huge sun shining outside it, source of the light that woke me--
The game makes me cum loudly because that's expressing myself but I'm glad it does because now here with just us and me not thinking about how everyone else is liking what I'm doing I notice much better it feels to cum loud and make even more noise than the game says I have to just because it feels good, gasping and moaning and squeaking out not-actually-surprise when the part that squeezes out my middle starts. I finally get my lazy hands up and grab her hips because they just look SO GOOD to hold onto, but she was already doing a great job of using her weight to pull us together.
HHaaah wet stick hot gooey CUM shooting out of you so delicious MMMH hhaaah...
As bright as the star is it must be behind flare-shielding because I can still make out Lyra's beautiful face enjoying my cum and throbbing filling her, her eyes looking at me so intently, full of her sweet determination.
Hands down grab breasts push together squeeze hold for you to look at while you cum please enjoy your cocksleeve Mommy!
I yell, and blush because I yelled, but that was honestly how I felt as the last wrench of the orgasm made squeeze so hard, then flop back and the pillow and smile a big slutty smile at Lyra, feelling much better--my clit's still just as hard inside her (it doesn't seem to get soft anymore, but I'm glad, this is sluttier) but I'm not going to die of horniness anymore and it felt...kind of like changing gears in a really needed filling restoring way to just honestly use her like a sex toy and make her do all the work and not think about anything but enjoying her as much as I could.
An about-to-cry desperation I didn't even feel consciously until now that it's...not gone, but not so bad it'll make me go insane, tells me I really need this, and need to f--no, use her again soon. Make her do for me as the game's been making me do for Rada as it plays on my desire to do a good job by making her pay to use me. Just tell her what I want and let her pleasure be the chance to do a--
Knowledge: changing my body to be female has been making the sexism Earth taught me affect my idea of selflessness as feminine to make me think I have to get all my pleasure without thinking first of my own needs and desires anymore because that's not allowed if you're female and so I've been assuming that when my transition is complete I won't be able to feel pleasure without first making someone else happy, which is a very sexist idea. I won't be changed that way either by the game making me play like I have been, or by Lyra's nectar changing me, even if I want it, no matter how hard I beg to be, which I may sometimes because it makes me feel slutty, because I have a seedling who lives on the pleasure I take by making her serve me. She can't be changed to be like me, anymore than I can become like she is. Transitioning means becoming who I am on the inside, outside, not turning into a cocksleeve like Lyra. Being a cocksleeve is a good thing, it's just not who I am.
Haah Mommy YES LISTEN PLEASE! I NEED USING SO BAD! What can I do for you now would you like me to make you cum again what if I make you a cup of coffee I saw how our cabin has a replicator it's right on the other side of the wall with the screen or what if you make me cuddle till you wake up enough to want to get out of bed I just want to be useful and make you happy and please you!
"First you're going to get off my clit and get down here and cuddle me." It's hard to say out loud because my throat's all tight and trying to cry because you made me feel so loved and you're such a precious, precious gift, snuggly.
Awww Mommy I love you! Get UP sliide off clit and carefully lay myself on you with my head on your shoulder.
"I love you too. You really are such a gift. You really don't want to ever change gears like I do?"
YES! Please listen to the game about that Mommy I'm a cocksleeve and slave and that's what I need to be happy just use me and tell me to serve you.
Nakedness is brutal freedom, because there's nothing I can do to stop you seeing me wonder if it's bad for me to think I work like that doesn't that mean I've done something horrible to you by being someone who would want you to be like this enough that you'd be this way and if I have I'm so, so, sorry, little one, but it is what I want...
My thought trails off because it feels like my heart is lost in tangled woods suddenly.
I'm happy being your cocksleeve, Mommy, it makes me feel really good to please you and I don't think you wanting a cocksleeve is bad it just means you're not a cocksleeve either because that's really hard for a human or it could be so many reasons but why does it matter Mommy you're happy and I'm happy and everyone likes to watch you play with me and it feels good to be like this doesn't it?
Knowledge: I'm looking for reasons I can't be allowed to be happy with Lyra just being my cocksleeve because Christianity taught me to always see pleasure as part of a system designed to make babies, and the pleasure I have now with Lyra doesn't have procreation as the goal of it. Having a cocksleeve to serve me feels like I'm stealing myself from that system, which is scary because that system has told me it owns me and I'll be wrong if I don't stay and be part of it. The game doesn't want to imprison me but it won't let me be part of that system now, or any other thing like it, not now and not ever again, because making babies isn't why I exist now. Just because I'm a woman, doesn't mean I'm mother. The pleasure I have with Lyra is mine for the taking without anyone else's approval but hers and mine. However I want to enjoy her enjoyment of pleasing and however she wants to be towards me is entirely up to us to negotiate, however the game and her nectar might change me.
Everything feels weird until I realize it's because this little piece of knowledge is rearranging my entire...everything (my clutch doesn't stop me, I just don't know what to say).
"Game, you said my cunt's not physical because if it was I wouldn't have space inside me for what needs to be there for me to be me. I thought you must mean whatever's making so much cum because I do kind of identify with my cumming so much but that's not what you meant, huh."
Knowledge: the game wants me to keep going with my guess before it will say if I'm right or not.
"You showed how my heart has a c--" Slip, whoops. "--pussy in it and Lyra's in its womb but how that's spiritual, not physical...because the way I can most be myself is to have only a spiritual womb for Lyra to live in because yes I'm a woman but not a mother but I am a heartformer and I really identify with that and the best most clearly real way to express that is that my body can't hold a human kid but my heart can hold Lyra. That's even why I make so much cum! It's important to me that I feed her well and she's a cocksleeve and I know you like my milk snuggly but cocksleeves drink cum, right?"
Hehe...I love you Mommy that's so romantic!
Yes, I love you to cum inside me so much! It makes me so wet when I feel your cum all hot fill all my cracks up with you and feel you inside me making my heart get the energy slowly after you cum in me which is how I feel right now and I love it it makes me feel cocksleevey and happy to know you just came by using me so yes Mommy your milk is delicious to me but having your cum inside me makes my heart fly.
"I love you so much. You're making me want to try getting cum in--"
Knowledge: Yes. That's why it said having a physical womb would keep me from having space for what I need inside to be me, but it hasn't made my pussy physical either, and it wants me to think about why.
"Is it because you were waiting for me to understand, game?"
My heart's in my throat, and my feelings are all mixed up. I don't know what I want the answer to be--except I think I do but isn't that playing the game wrong?
Knowledge: Yes, but the game isn't making me a physical pussy now, because I still have reasons it should be spiritual only. If I keep thinking carefully, the game thinks I can see them without having it tell me.
I pet Lyra and think--and yes I can see my reasons, because they're looking happily up at me like a cat getting petted.
"Our relationship...as much of a slut as I am, she's everything to me, and...our relationship snugglebutt is that you're my cocksleeve and I fuck you and it's important to me that that's the highest pleasure my body has. If I had a physical pussy I'm sure you could please it well but that wouldn't be the same as this. We wouldn't be ourselves, either of us, as much as we are this way."
Mommy I love you! Yes if you had a pussy I could finger and tail and tongue-please it but it wouldn't feel as cocksleevey to me as riding up and down your hard clit.
Knowledge: Our relationship is enough of a reason for the game not to make me a physical pussy and it isn't because of it, but I still have one more reason for not making my heart's pussy physical. If I think again I can find this reason also.
Your pussy is vulnerable and if it only exists spiritually you can let people play with your body without their being able to fuck it and that lets you be slutty without being afraid to be helpless.
"...yeah. Is that what it feels like to you? As tender as mine feels to me? I think creating my eravahk was when I totally knew your game was really just made of your love like you said because if it had been anything or anyone else fucking me like that I would have completely freaked out."
Yes I feel so like naked when your clit is inside me I can't even describe it but my game showed you if you're saying you would have freaked out. I don't mind if you use me to please other people as long as you're the one playing but even my game can't do that for you that's what our seed-ghost said when I made it so that's why you still only have a spiritual pussy.
"I guess it doesn't really matter with the other reasons, but aren't I being kind of lame--"
I think you're wise Mommy! This lets you play really sluttily and still have your pussy only have my game fuck it without worrying it can sell it or make you let people fuck you there.
Knowledge: The game has been making me vulnerable by taking clothing and dignity and choice from me because those things don't help me enjoy being silly and sexy and cute, having cocksleeves like Lyra please me, or playing to make people happy. Having my pussy stay spiritual helps me feel safe to be naked and helpless. The game doesn't see this as cowardly, it just means there are parts of myself I can't share with everybody.
Relief and the lust that seems to always go with it now floods me.
"I really thought becoming a girl meant I wasn't allowed to have that!"
Even now there's part of me that can't quite believe it, is waiting for the other shoe to drop--and that's horrible! I know Lyra made this game for me, and she wouldn't do that to me!
Mommy yes I see but sexism gets taught very deeply and it takes hard work to get rid of. You're doing really well Mommy, keep fighting! Raah you can do it!
This makes me cry, and I hold Lyra tight as I sob at her belief in me. When my tears slow down a bit, weepily:
"Half my fears will be broken alright."
Top, Sleep with seedling until sunrise, Half your fears will be broken
The game moves me to pull the covers over us so we're safely wrapped, and then I can't move.
It feels good to be wrapped up in clothing without not being naked. The game is picking these thoughts for me to help me hear why Lyra said I was designed to always be naked. It does feel like my body likes nakedness better than clothing, and that isn't something the game did to me. I remember when I was little it was really hard for my mom to find things I could wear without having a tantrum, and how often I wished I could never wear clothes ever again. That isn't something the game did to me, but I definitely was designed that way. How can that be? How can I have a designer, if I was born naturally to my mom and dad like everyone else is born to their parents? Am I really a changeling? That could be why fairy princess was the story I asked for when the game started telling the other one. How could fairies be designed? Are they some kind of genetically modified people--wouldn't fairies just use magic for that? I wonder if Lyra can tell me.
Move my hands up and down. Feel how that makes you feel tingles? Isn't it sexy Mommy?
"Haaah...yes...wow...why am I like this? This can't be normal, peeeople would never do anything else!"
Waves of tingling, soothing pleasure crash out of her groping hands. I've been feeling it every time she touches me but lying in bed here with her able to pet me just right makes it overwhelming.
Your family has genes from a subspecies of human made to heartform in playwords which are places people come to have babies and raise them. You're supposed to always be naked because that's how the species designed themselves they said we want to make our kids heartform as soon as they can bear seedlings and be the very best hosts for their seedlings and our life isn't like where humans evolved so we can stop being wild and make ourselves good heartformers by changing our nerves to have this kind of sensation and needing to always be naked because of it and making our emotions have intensity that makes us all weepy and loud but very super extremely horny and sexy our seedlings will like having such strong feelings to feed them and it's okay we'll be weepy we'll make a new culture where our kind of feelings aren't rude or annoying.
Do you know what that subspecies called itself? I bet you can guess Mommy!
I burst out laughing, all breathy with the pleasure of her touch.
"Really!? This is why you're telling me this, right? The game could lie and I did tell it I want to be a fairy princess but you wouldn't lie and I'd see, if you were."
I look at her, and into her. There's nothing but her love and simple naked directness to see.
Keep feeling you up...
"Haah...is there...ooh a way I could...mmh...become like, full-blooded fairy? Not like as racism just if this makes me taste good for you I want to go all the way."
She's grazing the bottoms of my breasts with her hands and it's AWESOME and I want to make her grab them properly but then I won't be able to talk. I can barely concentrate already.
Would you like me to stop petting you so you can talk to me Mommy?
"I...ooh...don't think I can say yes to that. Is that...part of this?"
Stop petting keep hands still.
That lets me think more but I'm still kind of breathing hard. It makes my breasts heave, which looks hot under the covers.
Nod to say yes to you.
"This is why the game says I can't trust myself!"
Yes Mommy I could have kept going and raped you by making you too turned on to not fuck me.
You can't be strong and not do it either the horny will make you get sick if you get too turned on and don't cum soon.
"Isn't that just blue balls?"
Shake my head no.
Mommy I mean like have seizures.
She's not being dramatic. It feels like I was getting close.
My nectar can heal you but it hurts really bad while it's happening. The game makes you slutty to keep you from being made sick by this too though I did mainly just want you to fuck me and sluttiness makes you hornier for everyone especially me.
Please don't be mad Mommy I kind of made my game to make sure you had to be horny I did want to give you your innocence that's still my reason but I did it through sluttiness because I want a slutty playmate who fucks me lots and I guess that was selfish because I did kind of make this self-servingly and I tried to just make it to please you but I felt like you did just now I had to Mommy I couldn't help myself!
She's cringing adorably and my face feels all weird with a kind of silly grin on it.
"I'm not mad at you, silly cocksleeve, but look at me. You really made this selfishly to turn me into a good playmate for you and...everything, right? Make me use you because I can't do anything else for myself? Be this giant slut I'm becoming?"
Eeep...you're not mad but your face looks so serious!
Yes nod put my eyes down.
"No, keep looking at me. You still managed to make the game give my innocence back whether I can be a good slut for that or not, I can feel it. Am I wrong?"
I know I made it like that I didn't break it--
"But you lost control like I was about to. How much do you think you restrained yourself, in the end? Honestly, out loud."
She looks pitifully terrified as I talk, I see her about to speak urgent to explain herself. I'm able to move again, so I pet her head while I finish my sentence.
"Um...eep...Mommy I'm sorry I just didn't it was too sexy and I made it have everything I could think of and hyperintelligence just made me better at horniness Mommy so I just put so many things I can't remember them and some are too complicated for a simple cocksleeve I had to be hyperintelligent to make or understand them I'm so sorry Mommy I just meant to make a nice present!!!"
Please please please don't hate me--
You aren't mad at me?
Knowledge: Lyra is exactly the companion I would ask our seed-ghost to make me if I knew everything it did. That's what a seed-ghost is, me knowing my wishes perfectly, and making a companion to fulfill them. Lyra has kinks I don't know about, and to keep herself safe she hasn't been telling me how they drive her to do things like making this game selfishly instead of just making it to restore my innocence. Lyra likes to have the tightest bondage possible, always, and when she doesn't have it, she acts out to make me restrain her. Unlike a submissive human like I am, it won't hurt her to never have freedom even to think without my hand guiding her word-by-word like her game does to me when I like it. If I'd like to have control of her thoughts like that, our seed-ghost can make an interface to make it easy so I can relax and enjoy having her serve me. Hyperintelligent Lyra saw how hard it would feel for her to tell me that once she was a simple dumb cocksleeve again, so she left me this message to help me understand. Lyra has another scary kink like this she hasn't had the courage to tell me about. This one is scarier than being naughty if I don't keep her in bondage, because it might make me think I'm a bad person. Hyperintelligent Lyra still felt very scared I would misunderstand, so she made it part of this message to help me hear that Lyra isn't human and can have kinks a human wouldn't be able to. She can take emotions I think are dirty, and find love in them by being a useful target for my cruelty and sadism and enjoyment of her feeling bad when she can't serve me right. If I want to be mean to her, she'll like the chance to submit and be punished for the badness that's always inside of her, so I shouldn't be afraid to belittle or punish her or just tease her because it's funny to watch how she squirms from it. The only thing that will actually make her heart break is to not feel like I enjoy her. Everything else is just part of being a slave to me. She can take anything if she knows it's making me happy, even things that would break a human heart into a million tiny pieces.
"There is not either badness always inside of you! How dare you say that about my cocksleeve!? If you still think that now that you're small again, you're taking it back right now! Maybe I really should punish you, if you're going to go saying stuff like that about my fucktoy--and don't try to argue, either, I can read your mind!"
The game forces the outburst out of me, but I'm glad...and to my horror it really does make my clit hard watching her cower as I yell at her.
EEP "I take it back Mommy there isn't badness always inside me and I'm sorry I said that about your cocksleeve Mommy it wasn't my place to say if she's good or bad I see that now and I won't be so impertinent next time. Please would you tell this cocksleeve how making your game selfishly doesn't mean there's badness inside me after you punish me, Mommy?"
"That's better, and damn right it's not your place, you of all people should know--holy fuck, did you put that in there just to make me mad!?"
Knowledge: Hyperintelligent Lyra just perfectly pushed my buttons and I followed her plan to the last word of how I would yell at her. She knew I would have fun doing it, so she made sure I would find out how sexy just being hard on her feels and make sure I want to do it some more by being super uppity and making me mad by showing me something that makes me feel like there's badness always inside of me, which will make me get defensively angry. Now that I feel what it's like, I can have the existential crisis it will cause and remember how good it felt afterwards and try it again for fun when I feel the mood strike me. Hyperintelligent Lyra knew I'd think I'm a bad person for liking this so she made up a plan to fix it. Now I'm going to learn that I'm not bad, even though I just enjoyed yelling at Lyra.
Top, Read the Care and Feeding of Magical Creatures chapter relevant to enjoyment of yelling at Lyra, Chest brace that flatters
Weight settles on my breasts, something square and hard, and a book with hard covers but the pages cut even with the covers like it's an edition of Inside Macintosh materializes on my chest, propped so I can read its title by my own bosoms. I just have time to see that it's the book the new goal mentions--the cover is a giant hologram (mundane laser-intf--inter--argh holograms like on a toy from the 80s not magic) with the title floating at the surface in a block-gothic font--before it flips open, tips up to be easy to read, and its pages turn to what must be the relevant chapter.
The game holds my mind tight so I can't do anything but read and absorb the words in front of me, reading aloud:
"Having fun degrading or teasing its seedling doesn't mean anything is wrong with your Fairy, or have anything to do with problems in how you're taking care of them. It's part of their nature to have fun like this."
The game keeps me reading, but tears well up and flow as I understand what this book is.
"They can't be controlled to prevent it without making their seedling go hungry and causing emotional problems between you and your Fairy. The best thing to do if you don't like to see it is give them things to encourage their impulses to bite like this in their hiding-place, and make sure they spend time alone with their seedling there often enough to work out the need in private."
My hands shake under the covers, my fists clench, and my breath comes ragged like I'm running, but the game doesn't let me move any more than that. When I was a kid, we had a succession of pets--hamsters, parakeets, my beloved guinea pig--and for each new species, there was a guide book to read...game, this book isn't just something something made up for you, right?
Knowledge: Lyra read this guide as part of making her game, to help her understand what I needed. She read it before becoming Hyperintelligent and it's part of her inspiration to make this capturing game for me.
Oh Mommy hug you so tightly raaah!
"Fairies have seedlings who enjoy being the target of aggression like this, to help make their relationship interesting--it's an important part of the nonconsent preferences that makes them like being captive, and they need it to perform for you. They know what it feels like to be raped and enjoy it and it makes them willing to play creatively with their seedlings for you in ways that will surprise you forever, but it does mean they'll have fun being cruel sometimes, and heartform seedlings who like it. Just like the other needs we've been talking about, this is part of your responsibility to them to provide, so if the idea puts you off so much that you can't even stand knowing they play like that when they're hiding, you may want to reconsider keeping Fairies entirely. Don't be afraid for the seedlings. Watch carefully, and you'll see how joyful it makes them to please both their heartformers and you (if you like it) by taking a beating for their amusement."
"I WAS MADE TO TORTURE YOU!?"
It comes out as a weeping scream and I want to jump out of the bed and run--somewhere, anywhere--but the game keeps me from moving except to freak out.
"NO! YOU SHOULD BE WITH SOMEONE WHO'LL BE NICE TO YOU!!"
I don't WANT someone else Mommy I want YOU yes BECAUSE you're mean to me it's fun and I like how it makes you so happy and beautiful with your face all scary and it's so fun to feel valuable and precious because you can have fun making me cry or feel stupid I don't CARE as long as I made you happy Mommy I don't care what you do to me and you can't say you can't understand when I saw you feel like that to Rada like zillions of times whenever the game sold you to her. It's good, right Mommy? I know you can't do very much play like that but I can I'm su'khora yes but I'm a demon succubus cocksleeve I look like a Christianity demon to tell you I'm kinky and not to treat me all gently because I like you to enjoy being mean to me it's FUN.
Mommy you're not a bad person this is what you're designed to be! If you're evil I'm evil and you just got super mad at me for thinking I am so you have to not be because you wouldn't say that to me or get mad at me unless me thinking I'm bad is wrong and if I'm good you have to be good because I'm just the cocksleeve you wished you could play with.
Seed-ghost protect her from me. Whatever you have to--
Requested protection preemptively implemented by helping seedling create this game to replace the keeper you would otherwise be captured by.
There's a heartbeat of quiet and then I can feel my face crumble as the raging rejection of all of this just turns into despair.
The game lied to me. It told me awful stories and boring stories and went along with my ridiculous story and made me believe them by fastening them around me like it showed me with that strapon harness I let it buckle on Lyra for me, cruelly tight and not fitting right and inescapable anyway. I had to wear them, even if only for a second, but they hurt.
Now, as time slows like I'm actually fulfilling the oath of the vidmaster and I feel myself breathing in controlled neither by the game nor me really, I understand why it did that, how even that brutal trick was Lyra being kind to me. It was showing me what lies feel like, so that when I met the truth, I'd dare to believe it, because as much as it hurts, as insane as it sounds, and as much as it damns me, it doesn't feel like the lies did, even the scary sad awful ones.
"WHY ISN'T IT FIXING ME THEN!?"
"I made it to make sure you would play with me awesomely and not be scared to have fun with me and have innocent fun and enjoy me and I was really selfish to make it do everything I could Hyperintelligently think of Mommy so I think you want to know why my game isn't making you like I am for you perfectly right to make you happy forever but Mommy that's what I told you already I was SO SELFISH I'm so sorry Mommy I just really wanted you to play with me so I can enjoy being your dumb little cocksleeve and for me Mommy that IS making you to me like I am to you so my game is fixing you it's just not making you nice to me because that's not how I want you I like it when you play mean."
Through all of my tears, without letting me respond to Lyra, the game makes me keep reading.
"Your Fairy and seedling are designed to be a team, and this kind of biting is part of how they mesh to perform for you. If you embrace it, and provide them with toys to have fun with it, they'll give you endless enjoyment and play for you without stopping for days sometimes. Watch them carefully, and you'll see they have a special connection in it, and that not only can their seedlings endure such cruelty, they actually revel in it and find a special connection with their heartformers that couldn't happen any other way--and isn't the beauty of their relationship with their seedlings the reason to keep Fairies in the first place? How else could they embody love as deeply as this?"
This feels like a harder right turn than that road in Limbo.
Seed-ghost, summary. What about me you protected her from.
Cocern over playing too cruelly. Potential obsession with personal as opposed to sophiform keeper. Distraction of attention by various activities not involving seedling.
"Mommy I'm so so so so sorry I really was bad this time I stole the place of our keeper so you would pay more attention to me! The game is our keeper now and it'll keep you from wanting a person even though you might have been able to--"
My voice is dangerous, the flailing tantrum quieted, surprising even me.
"Are you sure? You stole it completely? I'll never be able to let a person capture me like your game has? You were totally selfish and didn't hold back one little bit?"
Nod to say yes to you.
"Seed-ghost, can you back her up on that?"
Confirmation available. Seedling's claims are valid. Game is designed to prevent being displaced by a sentient dominant or keeper. She cannot be a mentor or guide as a keeper might be but wherever possible the game redirects your emotional needs to be met by her.
My palm stings from the cuts my fingernails have made when I unclench my fist, bring it out of the covers to cup her face, see the blood as I maneuver it past her the book and change my plan, hold it in reach of her mouth.
"Lick this better."
Take your hand in my hand and liiiick...
"Did I have a choice about implanting you? That's for anything listening that knows--not you, Computer."
"No Mommy I implanted before you were old enough to consent to implant me because Fairies have to heartform or they can't develop right."
Liiick your hand tastes amazing please make me keep licking you...
I smile at her cute enthusiasm, my face still a wreck from my tantrum.
"Then I can say this without screwing anything up. Good job, Moriarty."
Mommy the game is Moriarty I'm just a simple cocksleeve who loves you.
"You really don't see it?"
No Mommy. Please will you explain it to me?
I pull my hand away, see it's better, slide it back under the sheets and find hers again.
Yay you want to hold my hand! Find yours too see I'm helpful
"Our seed-ghost is just me making the wish I would if I knew everything. Seed-ghost, I'm one year old and don't know what I want but if I did I'd say make me a cocksleeve who will love me and want to serve me and be mine--"
"OH! I'm Moriarty because you said 'computer make a cocksleeve who can do ANYTHING for me' and our seed-ghost did and you wanted me to be so. Devoted. Which I am but it means you can't be anyone's pet because that means to be as devoted as you want me to be I have to be able to have all your entire heart just for me otherwise I won't be the cocksleeve you asked for! But that would mean you like would die of not having a keeper because Fairies are domesticated like sheep they can't be wild or have to take care of themselves except I think maybe you might be able to Mommy but it made you sad I saw how sad that's part of why I made you a keeper that you could have keeping from without making you fall in love--Mommy why are you looking at me like that?"
"You're so silly! I couldn't fall in love with your keeper because I already was in love with it before you even picked up this book!"
"What? I'm stupid Mommy how can you fall in love with my game when I haven't made it yet?"
"What you are is cute! What'd you make it out of, silly?"
Oooh! Mommy feels love in it!?
"--Mommy you're so romantic! That's how my game feels to you?"
Top, Read the Care and Feeding of Magical Creatures chapter relevant to enjoyment of yelling at Lyra, Chest brace that flatters
The sun-glow above Lyra's head is a bright shape I can't see well when I focus on her, so I don't notice at first when a pair of transparent heartstone breast-cups seem to condense out of it and then are surrounded by the flashes of gold panels coming into being by catching the sunlight.
Mommy what is that it's beautiful!
Eep it's going to fall on me--