32 - As the Plot Demands
As the into to TNG begins, the game brings up my memory of seeing Return of the Jedi in the theatre with my parents. I was barely old enough to go at all, and remember only fragments of the opening sequence, a flash of the opening Star Destroyer's engines zooming away. I slept through the rest, according to my parents, even the space battles.
The game brings up what my conscious mind can't, and shows me the total safety and peace I felt then.
The message is clear enough, but being helpless is such a rush! Even now my heart feels in my throat a bit as I lie here enjoying the familiarity of the food and these particular stars we're zooming through--it feels like the first time watching Trek again coming back from vacation.
The game lays my head back and pulls up another memory: the tingly slowness having my heart listened to by the nice p--slip--kids' doctor we had in Maine who never did anything scary used to make me feel.
Mommy I can make you feel tingly like that would you like me to?
Hell yes. As soon as I finish eating, and you put the boxes away, do it until I completely zone out and then game I need to make sure I snuggle her.
Yes Mommy. Would you like me to keep going after you space out? I just need your hand so it can be while you hold me.
Yes. Good cocksleeve.
When Picard starts in with These are the voyages... and the intro starts and it despite being somehow re-rendered at holyFuck by omigod by yesThreeDNow pixels is really just the same old TNG into even with the messed up compositing where the stars in the background of the ringed planet's rings don't move with the rest of the starfield because it obviously came from a version of the intro with different camera work and they couldn't afford re-rendering I want to cry with pathetic relieved happiness that it's not gone, that I can still watch TNG and eat McDonald's and now doing it with Lyra being extremely cute and useful and I understand without any help from the how wrecked this experience would have been if it had listened to me before and let me just eat on my own and pretend things are normal. The whole point is that my becoming (I know now this isn't even the beginning) this weird beautiful helpless-not-helpless attention-whoring porny dominatrix-doll is right here right now in full force without taking away these comforting things that are such deep parts of who I am.
Lyra feeds me the rest, cleans up, and then...
Walk down couch to hand. Pick up, sit down hand on top oof heavy not leaving now, take finger and hand-side, squeeze...
Tingles run over me, and it feels like I'm melting into the couch, all the fight and even the rush of helplessness flowing away.
At last, even my wild heart starts to calm, and I can settle in and just watch the show. Odd there was no cold open on the episode...and then the game constrains my possible thoughts down to holding Lyra and watching Star Trek, so that's what I do.
She does just start with Encounter at Farpoint. It's nice watching it again, and not having to pay too much attention, and being reminded of being seven and watching with my family before the world got all complicated and sad, and being able to just let Lyra's massage and cuddles and the sights and sounds of Geordi and Data and that familiar duranium-and-beige world wrap me up in familiarity. The game brings up my memory watching this episode with my family and focuses me on Lyra's presence with me, watching just like she is now. I didn't understand she was there, but felt her anyway, and didn't know how to process what I felt, but that isn't the point. She was there too. She was this episode with me, rode its highs and lows and vibrated with impatience through the commercial breaks just like I did.
I'm Watching Star Trek With Lyra right now but so was I then and when I can process it more I'm going to cry a lot from realizing that she's never actually, not one second, been lost or apart from me.
Mommy yes I've always been here every second I never left or stopped snuggling you and telling you I love you and I never will not ever. I remember this too Mommy I remember snuggling with your parents and brothers on the couch Grammie gave your parents with the arms all frayed Mommy why are you crying?
The game is weeping quietly for me, which is right. The furniture on the ship, little one. Not here where it's perfect but everywhere else. It's all old like that couch.
Maybe it's because I'm just Watching Star Trek With Lyra and I'm not allowed to think about this more than I just did but I don't exactly know why that tiny detail makes me cry, it just does. It's familiar and it makes me feel good and I like it.
Anyway who says I need more reason than that.
Yes Mommy your Hollow Heart Amulet I'm wearing gave us the perfect ship to pick us up.
Oooh and broken happy scarred things feel like home because our home had that and you have it here too which is comforting because it's familiar.
Yes good cocksleeve.
Top, Find the broken couch you dream of, Same kind of pillow
Knowledge: the game can change my brain's chemicals to make me go to sleep right away. It's doing that now.
When I wake up again, I'm still displayed on the couch in Ten Forward, and Lyra is still devotedly rubbing my hand soothingly, but the "TV" is off, and we're alone.
You're awake! Hi Mommy!
Look at you so pretty.
The game blinks sleep out of my eyes for me, makes me stretch, puts me back to my displayed posture. I'm perfectly comfy, so I guess it was a really good nap. I still can't move on my own at all but that feels peaceful and there's nothing I really want to do that the game hasn't just done for me, so who needs being able to do anything for myself?
Coffee. A wicked caffeine headache pinches my b--spin--scrunches up my eyebrows so it feels like there are clothespins on my forehead. Hey! Why didn't Lyra's nectar or the game fix my caffeine addiction?
The game sits me up, pulls Lyra into my arms so I'm holding her like the doll she is, and makes me look around Ten Forward. It's empty, and the replicator behind the bar looks...as real as the ones on TNG look?
Nothing changes that I can feel, but I know the game is letting me move myself now. I smile down at Lyra, looking small and cute in my arms, and carefully st--slip. Oh. I'm not allowed to get up? But...didn't you show me the replicator so I could get coffee, game? I know Lyra will have to carry it for me and maybe even order and everything.
Knowledge: the game said the part about using Lyra to take care of myself would be very very strict. She has to get my coffee for me, I can't stand up to do it myself, or even follow her over there. If I had just wanted to explore Ten Forward I could have but because I was getting up to go fetch my own coffee I have to stay here and let Lyra do it for me. I have to be taught clearly, so the game is making me act with clear intentions to be able to do the things I'm allowed to do and not make them blurry with things I'm not, so because in this situation I want replicator coffee and to explore Ten Forward and play with the replicator and see what kind of menus it has if it's real at all I have to let Lyra bring my coffee to me first so I won't instead get up and explore and get coffee when I get to the replicator and play with the menu and use the blurriness of whether I'm exploring and playing or just taking care of myself to escape the box the game is holding me in. It's keeping me this way forever so that means everything I do has to be clear like this for the game to let me move. The game knows what I'm thinking, so I can never sneak out of even a very tiny part of this.
Hands a little sweaty, I fidget in my seat, wiggling my hips and moving myself just to see it's possible and feel the pleasure of my new shape, practice using it for the next time there's someone to see me, and the game lets me...and as I do a scary thought sneaks out past the groggy guards of my subconscious: game I want to feel like this limitation is a part of me.
Gah! Do I? Or do I want to feel like it's a comfy safe totally inescapable untrickable box holding me?
I want them both so Game please decide for me and if it's really safe to ask for stuff it wouldn't be a good idea for you to say yes to HARDER I WANT THIS HARDER.
As a response the game turns my attention to my clit in my purse, chooses my thoughts: my clit is something Lyra has to help me with. She had to pick it up for me and put it away without me even touching my purse. She has to bring me the coffee I'm ordering or I'll be stuck sitting here forever. How can it possibly get any tighter?
The game says I'll be surprised, because it's definitely making this much tighter now that I asked it to. The reward for being horny is the goal the game is giving me:
Top, Present without clothing for the indefinite future, White wedding gown of your designing (must meet sluttiness standards)
I sit still, blinking, my face all shocked. It's too bad there's nobody to see me because with tiny Lyra clutched in my arms like a very slutty dolly and my antennae still bobbing from the surprise and my nakedness and the shocked-happy-horny-embarrassed expression I can feel on my face I must look so funny--and hopefully kind of hot.
Being stuck naked was an early fantasy of mine, from before I knew there even was such a thing as sex. I've had recurring nightmares about it, finding myself naked at school or a restaurant or something that now seem so obvious as my subconscious desperately trying to find a way of fitting this wish into a world where it just didn't make any sense.
I'm a little disappointed not to find out what Rada was going to dress me in, but this is great! I bounce with excitement, and look down a Lyra in my arms. What do you think, snugglebutt, game should be careful what it wishes for with those sluttiness requirements?
Maybe I'm not sure because it was made by hyperintelligent me so you might still not be sluttier than hyperintelligent me.
Knowledge: If I want to use my voice to talk to Lyra, it has to be to touch her heart with sound. If I only mean to communicate, she can already hear my thinking it.
"Whoah," I breathe in a voice I mean to sound like I've just been suddenly penetrated, which is how this feels.
Mommy please use your voice to command me to bring your coffee I want to feel you vibrate me and make your face scary how you do when you tell me to be a good little fucktoy it makes me feel like you really are fucking me with your voice. Please Mommy use your words to fuck me I want to feel you fill my heart up with them.
And somehow the words just flow.
"What a horny little cocksleeve you are! Show me you want this and suck my clit with your words if you want to make any sound at all because I'm giving you the same rule the--"
Hhhaaah my clutch is changing YUS THANK YOU MOMMY!
Intended changes happen when described unless described as deferred or conditional.
--how fucking useful--
"--game just gave me. What do you want right now?"
"Mommy I want your voice inside my heart!"
"Oh come on. You can be hornier than that."
It was actually pretty hot, but, I know what encouragement like this can do now.
Hhhaaah gasp look up from my downcast eyes squirm heave my breasts "I want your voice. inside. me Mommy!"
My lips are making a lopsided smirk like I'm deciding if I'll eat her now or later, which is perfect.
"There we go. Now get that drippy cunt of yours back to normal size and fetch me coffee, fuckpet. You know how I like it--you supply the milk though."
Lower my face and say it good:
HHhhaaaaaah wooooww getting big again unnnnf it's like getting hard hehe I'm one giant clit feels right hehe
"Yes you are. Can you be a good cunt if I let you off leash?"
She's kneeling between my knees now, slave-posed, looking Obedient, so this is extra mean.
"Mommy yes I promise to be--" Gasp wiggle heave "--good. and Obedient. And just get your coffee exactly the way you like and be sexy and hot so you can enjoy watching me bring it and bring it right back Mommy."
Such a determined little thing. I love you, cocksleeve, I think as I unclip my leash from her neck, feeling how it really doesn't have any fitting, just the response to my will, and give her a little nudge with my eravahk (which has of course stayed in my hand through all this).
Poing UP bow like you did to Rada spin flounce bounce dancy-walk over to the--
"That was adorable! I hope you don't mind that I watched but you have a mark of Pedestal and you are in my bar so it's fair game I can watch if I want."
"I'm glad," I reply as warmly as I can, feeling happy we were entertaining.
Gah hehe hi sis!
"Coffee, in a white porcelain Sweden-flag cartoon-drawing that says Sweden underneath and has cracks in the glazing but only tiny ones not the kind that let coffee leak into the ceramic and five heaping teaspoons of sugar and a stainless-steel spoon with plain decoration except a border embossed on the handle with tiny dots in it and tiny scratches everywhere like it's really used and Gevalia Royal Vinter coffee super-strong like so much it kind of gets thick."
I can move however I want as long as I stay on the couch, so I perch on my knees with my elbows on the back to watch her dance her way to the replicator, then sit there with my face melting more and more into cuteness as she talks. The ship is a ship so I don't know how it can express this but I get a kind of sense of wide-eyed respect from it.
Alright, good cocksleeve. Yes that's exactly how I like my coffee.
The replicator glows and makes its replicator sound, and Lyra reaches into it.
Please understand--eee so awesome it's exactly perfect!
This must be Four-wishing actually there's no other way it would exactly duplicate the scratches on the spoon I didn't tell it where they are.
Can I do other things than just evil fairy princess commands? Have some condescension, respect, and appreciation of your cute devotion:
"Cocksleeve. You remember exactly where the scratches on every coffee spoon I've used are!?"
Yes Mommy it's your favorite thing in the morning so I watch very carefully and make sure I notice everything about it so when I can finally make your coffee for you it'll be perfect.
With a knot in my throat this will definitely touch her heart: "I love you too. Get back here with that. You're doing the milk in front of me."
Yes Mommy pick up the mug carefully turn eep hot hold by handle now sway. So carefully. To. Mommy. Around the couch and kneel. Stick my breasts out and hold the mug under one now find out if I have milk for you should have checked first argh...squish...
Lactation requires Heart Home.
No! Seed-ghost Mommy ordered!
It's not your fault, cocksleeve. What does Heart Home mean, seed-ghost? Do we need a black mirror for this? My dreamtalk seems to be improving, but--
Heart Home is the childlike princess' castle in which you reign as seedling's fairy queen.
Gasp! No way Mommy please can we ask the game how to get your castle!?
Yes, but first I need my coffee, I think, face red. Back to the--
Why'd you--bwahaha do it Mommy do it!
And if it's truly Lyra's sister, I'll have double the appreciative audience.
"Hey ship--ship what should I call you?"
"I'm sorry! You made me so horny before I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Isht Visht which means Star on Sea and I belong to Captain Rada which you know already. Pleased to meet you!"
"Pleased to meet you. Anyway, check this out!"
First, eravahk just make a drop of milk on your tip. Just to be sure my theory is right.
Dst, it replies, and the tip adorably turns white with a single pixel of milk, which I lick off before--YUMMM fuck. I blush and hang my head for a moment as I realize I've expressed my enjoyment of this a lot more than intended. It's thicker than cow's milk, and a lot sweeter. Probably I give some kind of weird candy milk--
Knowledge: my milk tastes like typical human female breast milk. No changes from baseline except high quantity.
Dammit. I really am just this weird.
Before I can think anymore the better of this I stick my eravahk's top just under the surface of the coffee in the mug Lyra's holding in front of herself still, and command: one tablespoon milk.
With another dsst the coffee turns chocolaty-colored, milk mixed in by the pressure of the spray, and I pull it out--will coffee hurt you little one?
No Mommy especially if you feed it to me that way your energy is already getting soaked into it.
Good. I raise the tip and stick in her mouth, pushing her lips open.
Mmmmf hot Mommy milk and coffee yummm...
"Lick it nice and clean now, cunt. Enjoy my milk."
Liick every drop cleaning-tongue get everything mmmh...
"Wait you're making coffee with your own milk? That's so silly! Can I have some? It smells great and I bet you look hot giving it on your own, without tentacles helping! Hey aren't you due for milking?"
My eyes widen, but relief-sadly this doesn't seem to be the cue for my first tentacle rape of the day. As for the ship's request:
Right. Fuck. My voice sounds a little melty when I do get some words out:
"Um...it's not up to me--"
"Ooooh the game your seedling made...oooh! I'm asking game one sec. Captain says you get one more thing from the nursery shelves and toychest for letting me nurse until your breast is empty. Sweet! Noo what if she takes forever--promise? Okay...I believe you so don't be wrong please."
The game picks thoughts: I'm going to let Isht Visht nurse from me when I finish my coffee. It only sold my left breast so Lyra is welcome to join and the game thinks she'll be very envious if I don't allow her to. Isht Visht is a shapeshifter like Lyra so she'll come to me in a form I can hold in my lap and give my breast to, and the game thinks I'll find her attractive.
MOMMY PLEASE???? No use my voice I want to touch your heart for sure!
"Mommy please your cocksleeve is very curious how it feels to sit in your lap and nurse from you please will you please please give me milk that way? I'll make sure I please your nipple very very sexily Mommy I know I can I'm your seedling and I know I can make you cum just by sucking your nipple I see exactly how."
She looks so hopeful and urgent I want to cry. I lean forward, squeezing myself some nice cleavage (it feels so good, that's got to be the game making me sluttier) with my hands ready to take the coffee.
"Come here," I purr. "Up close."
Kneel right up next to Mommy's face.
HaahmMMMmfff kiss yumm...mmtongue!
Leaning up a bit puts my breasts in her face.
"For that devotion, sweet urgent cunt, and your devotion with my coffee, yes, and I'll fuck you with my clit until I cum in you while you suck."
Gaaasp YUS!! EEeee Mommy thank you I'll be fun I promise and I'll squeeze your clit while you fuck me too I promise not to be distracted.
With a sweetly-condescending grin as I sit up the rest of the way:
"Oh? You think you're in charge of yourself enough to promise things? Coffee, now."
Raise coffee up for Mommy.
I reach down to take it, half-expecting not to even be able to lift the mug to my own lips after my little outburst before, but the game lets me and before I know it I'm blushing a little at the whiff of my own milk before being happily punched in the face by Scandinavia's replacement for sunlight. I'd been worried all my changes would make me too delicate to enjoy the syrupy, painfully strong blend, but if anything I'm more able to take it. A lot more. I take a bigger swig and feel a lot better.
Knowledge: my breasts feel hungry to be touched because they're made by evolution to be pawed and bitten by infants, and they're understimulated right now. Earthling mothers get overdone by the amount of care they have to give combined with their Earthly responsibilities, and Earthling sexual mores demand that women understate their desire for safety. My masculine upbringing excused me that, so I get to enjoy my breasts on their own terms, which are that they'd like a lot more attention than they're getting.
Silly game, that's every inch of me all the time, not just my breasts--oh, that's it's point. It's trying to tell me there are pros and cons to only finding out I'm a girl after the end of the world, and not to be bitter.
Anyway, sexier things to think about.
"Out loud, squishy."
"Mommy no I'm not in charge of myself enough to make promises. I'm sorry I thought I could and I p--"
But you need to know how much I want to be good! What do I do Mommy?
I lean forward again, set the coffee back on hands she quickly raises when I start to hand it back, take her by a horn to make her look at me.
"You're naked, remember. I see you. Nobody ever wanted to be good as hard as you."
I do Mommy I want to be the very best cocksleeve ever that's why it's so hard that you won't let me promise you! You see though, right? You see how much I want to do everything exactly how you want me to?
In response, I pick up the coffee--slip--huh!? I just--
Knowledge: the game will let me command or gesture or wish at her for my coffee--and anything else of this kind--but it won't let me pick it up for myself. If I want to be able to hold it more than I need to to drink it, Lyra has to be able to take it back at a moment's notice, so that I can't use keeping her busy to work around my limitations, but I can ask anyone I want to help in her place. The game just knows she'll be my first choice every time she can be. I also can't be nice and give her a break--not that she would like that anyway.
Fffuck. The mix of the weird submissive thrill of this with the way it's being inflicted on me with the fact that I'm in the middle of trying to dominate Lyra (and technically being required by this to do that harder) makes a, giggle, hell of a rush.
Coffee, little one.
Hand mug to you that's really intense Mommy!
Mommy's hand holding head still unf...now showing me coffee? Mommy is the mug wrong--
No, it's perfect, silly cocksleeve, look. I think I even recognize some of these cracks. I said bring me coffee how I like it and you somehow managed to get me the exact mug, spoon, brand of coffee, and wrong way my family likes to brew it down to the exact way in which the u--slip--coffee stuff is worn out. Yes I see that you want to be good, I grin at her. This rules.
Gasp you ARE pleased okay more like this then.
Still smiling, I let her go and sit up to actually drink my coffee, making sure to take a big chug before the game decides I'm cheating. She'll see me amused at how far above and beyond she's planning to go, but I know there's no point trying to make her do any less--Flash.
That very first psychic vision I ever had. Flash, the working dog, so sad at the end. Not just no point. It'd be cruel, stealing from her what she's made for at the most basic level.
Anyway, this rules. I sip more coffee, appreciating the comfort of the exact replica of my mug from home, feel the Swedish blend's stupid amount caffeine pound in my veins. I can't wait to see what else you can do for me, good little slave.
Memories of being two, being spoon-fed coffee than was more sugar than coffee by Grampie, surface as I sip and finally understand how I've been trying to replicate that experience and taste by drinking coffee this way--his was just some cheap store brand, but to my two year old body it was as wild a ride as what I'm drinking now.
I realize this, at last, because somehow, despite just describing the coffee to the replicator, she's nailed it, at last. The mix is flawless, reminds me perfectly.
Good job, cocksleeve.
Mommy I'm really glad you like it but I just told the replicator how you like it so I think the replicator must actually just be a fun way to make wishes to the Bones because I would make the exact spoon and mug and coffee and make it taste like Grampie's coffee he gave you but I just asked what you heard so the Bones must be helping me give you your wish finally.
So many questions!
"How does your replicator work, Isht Visht?"
"It's completely accurate! I even use the canonical feedstock. Why?"
"This is m--" Spin, and somehow both having it happen while I talk out loud and on such a small word as the one I was trying for makes me feel a little dizzy with the feeling of being held... "This coffee is amazing but it's...like this is my exact spoon from home with the exact same scratches. She can remember--"
"Bwahahah good one sis! I'd like super long description that takes as long as it takes me to download the pattern Mommy's going to be so weirded out and impressed!"
"But sis I--wait--MOMMY THIS IS THE COOLEST! I totally did download the pattern I walked up and I didn't even think I said I need to make Mommy exactly the exact coffee she'll like most she was specific and strict and I'm going to be the best cocksleeve I can be rrraaah exactly what does it look like okay describe that self and I guess I have instincts to let me speak replicator download protocol which of course they all have ODN sockets right next to them and my tail has like such a mind of its own I didn't think it was doing anything but it was it stuck itself in the ODN socket and downloaded the exact pattern I was thinking of to the replicator to give you the coffee you exactly perfectly wanted! Mommy look my tail has electricity and lasers and I can make them speak ODN and it feels like zillions of other things!"
Hold up my tail and show it to you.
Sure enough, the very end flickers with grainy multicolored light.
"OOH like me and languages! I speak dialects of eight hundred and thirsty thousand languages that we've tried so far. I bet my sister's like that for data protocols!"
Suddenly my grip on the mug feels unsteady, and I can't get my fingers to obey to hold it again--oh. Right, fuck. Quickly I place the on Lyra's ready palms, stretch my obedient-again hand suspiciously.
"How is this even possible? Are there even that many languages? And like, ODN protocol is fictional, how likely are you two to make up the same implementation even if you are sisters? Even then, Lyra, didn't you just have to hit like a couple of gigabytes per second at least to download even a small replicator pattern according to how they work canonically?"
Guinan's comment from before about stuff my problem is with rings in my ears as I say it all, but it can't slow down my rec.arts.sf.startrek.tech-reading brain.
"Would you like to explain it or should I, sis?"
"That's Mommy's choice if you're giving it to me, sis. She makes those decisions for me."
See Mommy learning!
Yes you are. Good cocksleeve. You explain what you know, out loud to us both.
"Yes Mommy. So Isht Visht and I have different kinds of the same powers I think. I'm squishy cocksleeve shapeshifting, and you're ship-with-machines shapeshifting, right sis?"
"I can be flesh too I just like rope and duranium and stuff like that and Captain likes to remember implanting me so I'm usually a sailboat."
Note to self: find out what her being a sailboat had to do with her implanting.
"We have the same dreamskin so the powers we get are like, different ways different people see that dreamskin. My sister can figure out languages, the way I can figure out data protocols, which I just learned I can do so maybe it's only ODN protocol but I really super don't think so Mommy, because we both have instincts for feeling around inside things that use words to describe stuff which languages and data protocols both are like. I use the instincts for making you coffee you like and probably super-much other useful stuff and my sister uses them so she and Rada can always be sure to be able to hook up with everyone they meet if they can--right sis? You can like, translate for Rada?"
"Yeah! Once I figure a language out I can teach it to her by making her feel it how I do. It's really intimate!"
"How do you feel around inside a language!?"
It's kind of nice having to be as squeaky as I feel to make any sound.
"Mommy it's because I'm an ontological life form. I have feelers that feel things like languages because they're like, the environment I use to survive, so I need to be able to sense them, so when I meet a new language I can reach inside with my language-feelers and feel it like tentacles let octopi feel inside like rocks and things. I can do it to help me use cards and clairvoyance but apparently my feelers are GREAT at feeling data-protocols because I didn't even realize I was feeling the ODN socket but I was I can see it now. I have to be trying to speak the language to feel it which is why I only know I speak replicator download protocol and my sister only knows eight hundred and thirty thousand languages she's figured out so far."
Seed-ghost, modify wish about experiencing her senses to make sure I don't go insane.
Intention already safe. Implied limitation to five human senses accepted.
Good for the intended purpose, but maybe later...anyway.
"That...sounds so cute! Do they have an appearance, like could you show your feelers to me?"
"No Mommy but if you imagine I have whiskers it's kind of like that."
This sets me giggling.
"I love you."
"I love you too Mommy! I'm glad my feelers please you."