19 - And The Wardrobe
Lyra's holding the thong at the ready. Distantly, I step into it.
Slide the thong straight up and into your asscrack carefully arrange it with my fingers all around the edges pull tug push nudge haaaah this looks so sexy flat against your mound this way! Wait, no band, real flesh...snifyum...it does smell like your would be here but...this is such a super convincing illusion!
Despite the alarm bells going what do you fucking mean designed, I find I'm breathing raggedly at Lyra's very intimate arranging of my underwear.
Kneel back down I'm finished and my Goddess looks so pretty!
"And our seed-ghost has something else to tell us now."
"Goddess yes it thinks you need to listen to everything it wants to say and be focused now so it's asking you to find a comfy place to be displayed where you can lie without moving and then it will tell you the rest."
This apparently isn't optional, because a wave of drowning washes over me until I bolt for the comfortable-looking couch, flop down on it, start to drown again until I understand it said be displayed and arrange myself on my side to accentuate my curves and bring an arm up to lift my breasts a bit, propping my head up on the other.
Follow you to the couch unf your ass in a thong looks hot running especially with the bow on the garter belt.
"This game is how you show your body off to people around you. Wearing stockings and garters and the thong is only part of what you can't be in control of without being responsible for being sexy eye candy to everyone who sees you so this game makes you be still and display yourself if you don't perform enough while you're moving. There will be time every day like this even if you do everything super sexy perfectly, but without performing while you're moving you'll be a statue most of the time. There have to be people to enjoy what you show while you're like this, and you'll faint unless you're trying to get to a good display spot when it's time for this. It says you'll know this is happening because you'll see a vision of a statue like it's about to show you now."
Vision: stylized marble Blu'eyes with her cock very hard
"Usually you'd be able to pose without using me but it says you got really far behind being raised to be masculine so it's going to keep you entirely still unless you use me to position your body and for the rest of your time on this ship it's going to make you display yourself this way every moment you aren't doing something important or changing locations because this one got taken away from you. It says to relax and be comfy and if something doesn't feel right just tell me how I can fix it. Now it says it's going to start teaching you to make your breasts rise and fall with your breathing so follow the rhythm or you'll faint. There, it says like that, just keep doing it that way. It says your mouth should be open and your lips moist so lick them when they get dry but don't try to communicate with your body if you need to give me an order use dreamtalk otherwise the only thing you should say to anyone is look at me I'm beautiful I want you to enjoy me very much. That all of this game it's simple just very intense and controlling."
"Now it's saying the next game and it isn't asking you to tell me because that's not an order to care for you so you'll faint if you try to tell me even using dreamtalk. It says to be still in your body and mind if you want this to help you the best."
"The next game you're playing is what kind of toys you can play with. It says I should show you your purse, Goddess. Would you like me to hold it in front of you?"
Quiet in body and mind isn't as hard as it might seem like: keeping my breathing in rhythm takes most of my mind up leaving barely enough to watch Lyra fidget as she speaks, and feel the captain's eyes all over me.
Carefully reach out and pick up hold it in front of you steadily.
There's a buzzing in my ears--oh. Fire pours over me: behind Lyra, the captain is straddling a stool, working herself happily with a vibrator. She catches my eye when I notice, grins gaspingly, and raises her free hand to show me her--nectar--stretched out between her fingers...and here's where everything goes crazy: quite voluntary, but entirely without thinking, I smile back a big sappy grin and take a deep moaning breath the rhythm surprisingly allows me to, and find myself able to speak for this, and say:
"Is there something I can do to be sexier?"
In response, she grins even more widely, and blows me a lascivious kiss, and I "catch" it by pursing my lips and doing my best give an an expression of ultimate pleasure--
She suddenly rises, strides over, and stands next to Lyra, who scoots to the side to make room for her.
"That vibrator is a different example of the kind of toys you can play with. They can either be femme like this purse is, be meant to be used on yourself to make you feel pretty, or be like toys that are actually kids toys. Every other thing you can decorate to make you feel girly, say it's to be used by someone who's making you obey, or have some reason you have to be using the exact specific toy you're using and not be able to make or find a childish or girly one. It says girls can be scary if they feel like intimidating it just has to be using toys that are femme or childish."
The captain put her vibe half an inch from my lips, and gazes down.
"The harness attached to your cock at the moment is technically mine. How about you buy it from me for a wet sloppy kiss on my viberock?"
I look up at her, pull up the memory of the flirty eyes I made while sucking her off, and gently lift my head, in case I'm not free to do that, but I am. With the wettest tongue I can manage, I lick my lips suggestively, pause with them all but grazing her viberock, and add:
"I'm giving you the choice of my pose as you come, free, if my game lets me move then."
The viberock buzzes a musical pumping rhythm in my head as I press my lips to the smooth, dark-purple surface and rake my tongue across it, disappointed to find it clean of her nectar.
When I pull away, the captain drags her stool closer and sits down happily, returning to her self-pleasure at my--
...honestly very much anti-expense...
Urgently calm, Lyra goes on:
"The next game is about how you can take care of things including your own body. It says cleaning and brushing and strapping clothes that needs strapping and making your face pretty with makeup either have to be something you command me to do or be done for you by a slave or service-top and there won't be anything except things you're doing as fun like making airplanes or having sex with me you'll be able to do on your own everything else has to be someone doing it for you. It says you'll faint from even trying to adjust the way your thong sits if I can help you so be very carefully to use me every time you can. This game can be scary so watch for me to be waiting to help and take careful slow movements until you get in the habit of using me as an everything-slave and not just your cocksleeve. Mommy it says I should say how I feel about this and I feel awesome Goddess I want to be the most helpful slave I can be so everything you make me do for you feels amazing and sexy to be able to do and I don't care if it's small I don't care what I'll do it with pride as your helpful cocksleeve assistant."
"The next one is how to be able to have sex with me alone. If you want to have sex with me privately there has to not be too much time passed since the last public exhibition sex you had with me like you have to not just be outside it has to be where people see and can masturbate and enjoy our performance Two days is the longest it can be without exhibiting our sex to someone who isn't from your house. If you really need sex or it's impossible to get where people are before one of us cries from being frustrated the game can stop for that one time because these games can't take us away from each other especially not sex but it still has to be forcing you to be pornstars with me so it will make us not fuck privately again after that until we have exhibition sex to make up for it twice that means two different occasions with different people watching not times you cum in me."
"Now there's a game to keep you showing off your creativity and it makes you shine by telling what you're good with by writing what you make with me to be shared with people outside our household by stopping you to write when it's time for that to happen by showing you the vision it's going to show while I talk to you about this game and making you be still like now except so you can write with me not display yourself and there won't be breathing rhythm but you will faint if you don't concentrate so stay focused with me in it until the story is complete and you've shared it somewhere outside of our household. That can be any way of sharing things it just has to be visible for people outside our household. It will be fun to be controlled like that I promise it's awesome when you do it to me and I think you can like it too maybe not as much as I can but isn't it such a safe awesome feeling to just not have any choice in things sometimes?"
She must be seeing the roil of emotions this is starting to plaster over my face...
"There's one more game after this one and then it's all of them and you'll find a big surprise Goddess. The next to last game is to make sure you keep feeling strongly not in control by keeping you from moving until the system of games is done reminding it has the power over your life and you don't by making you faint unless you take four and half deep breaths and wait for it to let you exhale. After it finishes making you wait to breathe, you have to listen for our seed-ghost to tell you a mission and the games will keep you from doing anything but trying do what our seed-ghost said. None of the missions will make you do anything that will harm your relationship with me or your family or people you care about and they can always be finished in a short time but they won't be things you would do by yourself. Your next mission is happening right after you're done being still and displaying yourself and it will be simple but tell you this is real. It says keep stopping to listen because it only tells exactly what you need to do each part of its mission and you have to be following without knowing what it's doing. This game is entirely for showing how you have to let it control you so if you don't let it just lead you along the mission will change to keep you from being able to do anything but be lead step by step."
"The next and last game is to train you to be able to take everything about your whole being lightly and not try to be edgy or serious. You have to be bubbly and cute and bounce yourself if you're excited or happy and whine and stomp feet and huff when you don't like things and cry if you hurt to keep moving or it says your body will slip like a clutch off your brain trying to control it. It says that's changing while you lie still and display yourself which is another reason you have to use me to change poses so it can change your brain's wiring gently because it would hurt really bad if it changed a muscle while you were using it. This game is also making the thing in your brain smaller where you can shove your emotions behind you so don't try to stop it will give you a really bad headache. It says carry hankies for crying."
I'm on the verge of needing one already, although I don't think I need to be rewired to be weepier for that to happen here--
The "big surprise" arrives, in the form of--what the fuck--a weird, solid, thick sense of fullness inside my hips, like nothing so much as the feeling of the Captain's strapon deep-throating me but...at the other end...
I try to cry out, or buck, or signal--
Drowning cancels my attempt even to signal Lyra by dreamtalk, and I desist out of reflex, silent and terrified, unable even to change the rhythm of my breathing.
The thing inside of me grows with terrifying speed, growing heavier at the same time, and the garters, thong, stockings grow more and more noticeable, but impossibly don't seem to get tighter despite how this must be expanding me.
"Can you tell us what's happening to you?"
The captain has set her pleasuring aside and come to kneel by the couch beside Lyra, who also looks on with concern. I try to give a signal, but I can't even blink.
Whatever's inside me grows to the point of stretching my asshole wide, by the way it feels far more than I'd have thought possible, but the unfamiliar sense of air on it gives me the idea that it's simply stretched wide, not forced apart by an object. The powerful emotions Lyra just warned me of are definitely on tap, but--wait--no. A childish weeping cry of fear would really come quite easily right now, but it doesn't make any difference.
Goddess what's wrong I can help--no raah it's not letting you dreamtalk me orders is it! Grrr put my arms around you and hug hug hug Goddess if I can't help you another way I can comfort you.
The pressure of wanting to explode into tears with Lyra's sudden comfort pounds like a thunderstorm, but does nothing to break through my paralysis. The weight inside me grows heavier and space holding my ass open grows wider.
The back-string of the thong, shockingly comfortable (thing #34772 to process when I get there is how happy wearing a thong makes me) because I could feel it back there accentuating the bareness of my cheeks until now, suddenly seems to just pop out of existence, but the thong itself, impossibly, stays in place, and what ever is opening me keeps growing so it feels like my hips will burst like a bubble. There's no question now, it feels exactly like a hand in my ass, forcing it apart by expanding into existence, except I can increasingly tell that despite the weight nothing is physically there.
...and then it starts moving, shifting around, exploring inside me. The shape is almost reminiscent of a hand, with lumps shifting that might be knuckles, palm, thumb. When, seemingly, I'm softened up enough, it slowly starts thrusting in and out, keeping me spread wide but retreating almost out of me, then gently but inexorably sliding deep again. After a little eternity of this strange penetration it stops, and suddenly starts growing wider, pushing me open relentlessly, with terrifying speed, but still my body just keeps breathing with sexy evenness, heedless of my desperate flailing.
Somehow, my churning mind suddenly realizes what's happening, snapping together the pieces of all this business about control of myself:
Seed-ghost, how and why are you fisting me!?
Your seed-ghost is helping your seedling's nectar rewrite neurology only. The penetration of your ass is a feature of the game that makes you display yourself to provide amusement for the audience observing you. No harm will be done to you and you will find it possible to express pleasure only during these occurrences. You are required to express as much pleasure as possible and respond with delight to this. Express pleasure now to retain consciousness.
But it doesn't--the fringe of drowning is enough. Respond with delight--
"OOooh my god...haaaah..."
I THOUGHT I TASTED RAPE! How though you're just lying there!?
Control of my body opens out like a rail-shooter of humiliating eruptions of sexy joy mazed with buildings and bridges of attempts to keep my dignity. Delight, pleasure, make like I want this inside me desperately, like I'm hungry for it the way Lyra would want me, urgently needing to slide it deeper. I writhe on the couch, push my hips backwards, and the imaginary assailant stays fixed, pushing further inside me.
"...ffffuck yes harder! More!"
I begin to thrust against it, trying to work myself onto it,
find an unexpected inspiration to writhe my hips up and down like a hand jerking it off--
"Holy fuck that's good come on aren't you going to fuck me?"
My breath comes ragged and I gasp out my pleasure as tension flows out of Lyra's hug and the Captain, grinning, twists to reach for her vibrator. Succubus breasts in my face make a surreal counterpoint with the phantom domination and the Captain's raunchy and unabashed enjoyment--
It definitely is going to fuck me--the force suddenly pounds in and out with a heart-pounding rhythm that rocks me where I lie and phantom hands clutch my hips so my whole body bounces with the rhythm. Something seems to tear almost physically as I actively decide I'm going to catch the Captain's eye, manage to pull a glance from her away from my bouncing breasts, and smile with furrowed brows and tongue all but hanging out as I've seen Lyra do--
Sudden force throws my hips back against my "partner" and the phantom fist that's seamlessly become a cock at some point in this throbs, mighty, pumping, so deep, and the expression I put on performingly becomes far more real as the force of it overwhelms me and I force myself as hard as I can onto it, writhing and gasping as it "cums" inside me.
And the weird, scary thing is, it doesn't feel bad one little bit--intense and scary and overwhelming, but not bad. If anything, I'm disappointed there isn't a living face--even, somehow, impossibly, one I wouldn't be attracted to--I can twist around and gaze into full of flirtation and hope that I'm fucking pleasingly,
so I turn that wish on the Captain--aiming it at Lyra feels instantly wrong--and get cum in for her, instead.
She obliges by acknowledging my face and then raking her eyes all over me as pleasure creeps over her face and she quietly gasps with climax, controlled even in this.
And the phantom cock finishes and slowly pulls back out, leaving me panting with Lyra's breasts still in my face. I nuzzle them, pant, find myself able to move, sit myself up to be sitting normally, smile privately at the thong-string's restoration, and make a "sit there" gesture for Lyra, towards a spot on the floor by my feet.
Eeep yes Goddess stop hugging kneel slave pose with my head down energy says definitely don't be naughty.
I've just been ravaged, forced to pretend--and then half-stop pretending, to enjoy it, and come out of it disconcertingly curious what I could do for a real partner, and yet weirdly, instead of feeling shattered, I feel strong, and Lyra had better especially obedient right now...
I take a deep breath, look around the room. The captain is up, putting her vibrator away, wiping herself with a towel, then doing something at a table across the room that makes clinking sounds. She turns around with hands full of--the exact type of glass replicated Tea, Earl Grey, hot, comes in?!
She's returning, seemingly headed for the couch.
"This is my favorite drink to calm down with. Would you like some? It's plant that grows natively in the Deep Haven called asscreep because of how it sneaks into cracks in the statues like the string of that thong you're wearing. The tea is calming and soothing like the plant they call Chamomile on Earth but this tastes like candy."
I snort with ironic amusement--nothing happens, and for an instant my heart is in my throat because I think the paralysis is back, and it is, but--oh--
I gasp an inhalation of excitement, bounce up in my seat. "That would be amazing! It's really called asscreep?"
The giggle and grin aren't even intentional, but I can't help them,
and my cheeks redden and nipples and cock (stored safely inside my purse, the satiny lining reminds me) rush with the terrible nakedness of having to express myself thus.
"Yes. The name is silly, yeah? It sounds funny in English and even more silly in Infernal, to keep you from drinking it seriously. I think you need that right now."
She holds the mug down to me, full of licorice-colored liquid redolent with a scent like hot Jolly Ranchers--it will definitely not be possible to drink this seriously. I'm reminded by the Trekkish glass of Guinan introducing Worf to prune juice, but if there's a bright opposite to warrior's drink I can tell even from here that this is it.
I take the mug--reflexively trying harder reveals that yes, it's just like a slipping clutch.
How far does this go?
With earnest wide eyes, leaning forward to eagerly snatch for the silly tea with both hands: "Thank you so much, it smells amazing!"
An instant of slip warns me not to restrain myself from the next bit, either:
I raise it instantly to my nose and inhale deeply, and even just the smell clears my head some. "Mmmmmh..."
It's good, but extremely hot, just like how it feels having to act so--even girly isn't the right word. I'd say I felt like a porn character, but that's already been true at least since the raft.
Now why am I slipping--oh. No. Hell no--but I can't even breathe until I do it.
Through parted, licked lips, letting my chest give the heave it wants to: "Haaaah..."
The heat of a new wave of blushing pours over me.
"It feels freeing, doesn't it? You're responding to how the game makes you express yourself, yeah?"
The captain sits beside me on the couch, on the other side of where Lyra is at my feet, and though it's such a tiny gesture I'm touched that she goes out of her way to sit neither between us nor opposite so I can only face one of them.
I lower the cup of tea, and--oof. What the fuck, why, oh. The drowning lets up the instant I start to respond to it, so there's only a graze of it, but it still makes the tea that much more necessary.
I can't even hold my own mug?
Why would I want to, when--
Take this, cuddlecunt--slippage. Now what?
"This is so complicated! Why can't I give you this order?!"
It bursts out in a whine, petulant and frustrated, the only way I could get anything out at all.
I want to help seed-ghost can you give me something to tell Mommy?
"Goddess our seed-ghost says to make yourself listen to your desire to be sexy for me and use what you learned just now to play with me."
Use--oh. Even in my helplessness, there was a power in showing off my body--
Aware of how my motions pull at the thong and garters, I hold the tea down for her in both hands, squeezing my breasts together and learning far down--I definitely wasn't this flexible before changing--so my cleavage is in her face.
"Hold my tea for me, cocksleeve, and keep it where I can reach it unless you're sick of orgasms for the week."
Haaah so much cleavage gah no listen to Goddess what did she say hold tea eep take mug put it on my palm keep it steady gulp.
The effect is wonderful. She stares, flicking her big purple eyes between my face and my breasts, parted lips glistening, and for a moment I wonder if I'm going to have to give the order again until in a near-panic she remembers herself and takes the mug, displays it on raised, upturned palms, expertly stable.
"That's a good cunt. Hand it up if I gesture for it."
It's like a bike I can ride, stays up if I keep moving fast enough. I fuzz her head, do some breast-ogling of my own, and sit up again bouncily to finally answer the captain, determined to be sufficiently--
--brazen--oh--I don't feel brazen about this, however confident I just was towards Lyra.
Hands in my lap--and so what if that does accentuate my cleavage--I bite my lip and look down.
"It just...is really hot to have to be so..."
I fidget, bite my lip again, searching for the words, glance up at the captain, face hot.
"I mean I'm already wearing like anti-clothing but this just feels so nnnaked."
Slippage threatens, wavers, but I can keep moving by pouring the scary pleasure of this into my tone, making naked sound like I'm about to come, panting the word out.
Why oh fuck--
"Rada, unless you take orders from me."
My throat is tight, tears well up, and the terror and confusion of the wild ride I seem to be bound to start to sink in and the gulf between who I was not even an hour ago and this opens out, an endless abyss...
"What is this, Rada? Why is this happening to me!?"
My hands feel useless and fidgety and I hug myself, then bury my face in my hands suddenly painfully aware of how I can't even hold a mug to hide behind, sobbing. rocking.
A kind hand touches my shoulder.
"It looks like you got a lot of choice and responsibility taken away all at once, and that's scary, yeah. It can seem like it will keep going until you disappear, but I see more of you since you sat up than the whole rest of your time since we met."
Tears streak my weirdly different face under my new hands that seem both stronger and gentler, and my breasts compress under my folded arms, grateful for the stimulation as I peek out at her, flaxen hair falling across my vision. There's no escape from it anywhere, even the sound of my breath...
But this isn't me--
It dies on my lips, unvoiced, but not because a "game" of some kind is controlling me. I can't bring myself to tell the lie.
"How can this be me? I'm so annoying now!"
At least the whine is ironically self-aware and recursive--which renders it barely able to escape my lips.
"That's only one way of seeing you. I see an adorable childlike person who needs to be held to be happy and can only be held un-responsibly and is being given the structure she needs to flourish."
There are ten things I want to say to this, but only one will make my muscles respond.
I drop my hands a bit.
"You really think I'm cute?"
Hope drips off my weepy voice pathetically.
Why is that arousing.
"Why else would I have tried so hard to make you let me keep you?"
I let my guard down more, gesture to Lyra for the drink without looking down at her, the other way to play the game I have to play with her to be able to do anything at all.
Put mug in Goddess' hand wait until you take it.
My breasts feel suddenly bare, and I realize all over again that I'm painfully girly wearing only half a set of very frilly lingerie and a watery smile, but...that's kind of fun...
"It makes me smile that you want me...I'm so scared, though! I'm horrible with structure! My parents even had to take me out of school--"
"Is the structure you're bad at a lost-Earth religion or workplace? Maybe I should ask you directly: is the structure that's holding you in this shape now anything you would ever find in the Earth you came from?"
I lift the mug, smell it again as the captain's words sink in, let the aroma calm me. It seems cool enough to drink...
"Not really I guess. It just makes me feel so--"
The words won't come, and tears threaten, so I take a sip of the tea, then quaff half the mug of the wonderful, syrupy, soothing warmth. It tastes like fruit I can't recognize and the sugar-pure sweet of artificially flavored candy, and is thick like hot chocolate, smooth. Slippage starts to set in and I barely even think about it before cooing out the pleasure of the taste as I drink.
"Yum," I breathe. It really is calming.
I bite my lip again, look down into the mug, close my eyes and breathe deep and squirm in my seat to--yes bat off the slippage that was threatening but somehow doing also makes me feel alive in a way I've never known before.
"I'm a dom, shouldn't I be like you? Or be trying to be? It'd be one thing if I needed to grow out of this, but instead these games are forcing me into it!"
The petulance might be my only option, but even the threat of slippage or fainting won't make me express how much I hope she'll call me something like sweetie when she replies, they won't...
To my surprise, the--Rada--smiles kindly when I say this.
"I think this fits you wonderfully. You don't get to decide anyway, but it's beautiful on you. Maybe you should think of it like a corset. It's forcing you to take a shape that you can't take without being tightly held in a structure you can't escape from, Maybe after a long time of being held like this the shape will change what you're like enough that it's like you're still playing these games even if they stop holding you, or maybe they'll hold you forever, but if that happens you can't really say that's growing out of these games so much as learning what they exist to teach you."
Face burning, I take a big chug and hand the mug back to Lyra, knowing what I have to say to keep moving.
Take upturn hands hold out for my Goddess.
"It makes me really hot when you say I don't get to decide like that. Am I just not actually a dom at all? Are...are you all just waiting for me to realize I need you to keep me?"